She looked up into his face with no shame. “It’s been a long time. But the roses and thorns remind me that once upon a time I hurt myself to feel anything at all.”
He sighed, pulling her close as the water came down all around them.
“Baby, you wreck me. You turn me inside out. I want to help but I don’t know how.”
“It’s long past. I don’t cut myself anymore. I don’t hurt myself, though I let hot older men tie me up and slap my ass because it makes me wet. But I don’t need to punish myself for other people’s sins. You don’t need to fix me.”
She held his heart in those soapy hands and she had no idea. She was like those roses climbing up her inner arms. Beautiful and strong. Slightly dangerous.
She was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.
10
She unlocked her door and he came in with her, wearing a hungry expression.
Five seconds after she’d locked the door behind them she’d found herself picked up as he walked them over to her bed. The rain had started, the sheets of water pelting her windows, soothing.
But there was nothing soothing about this man who unbuttoned the bodice of her dress so nimbly. He uncovered her skin like he’d found treasure. It . . . touched her. As much as she tried to keep it to just sex in her head, it was more. She knew it and couldn’t hide from it anymore.
He kissed her chest, above her heart and she cradled his head to her body. Tenderness rushed through her system, making the way for the desire that barreled through right after.
He licked up her neck, suckling on her earlobe.
“I want you.”
She shivered at this declaration he’d whispered.
“Take me, then.”
“I plan on it.”
He hauled her upright. “I don’t want to rip this dress you look so damned delicious in, and I will if I try to get you out of it. Take it off.”
She got to her knees and pulled it over her head, tossing it to a nearby chair.
On her knees, she watched him, waiting for whatever he wanted next. Something about that had settled into her system. Letting go of the control eased her, unknotted her muscles.
“You’re amazing.”
He pulled his shirt off before stepping from his shoes, shorts and socks. Naked he was breathtaking. The ambient light from the street outside only highlighted the masculine power of his muscles. His cock, so hard, tapped his belly.
“I want that.” She indicated his cock.
He laughed and she shivered. He had a way of laughing when he meant to tease her. So much promise there.
“You’ll get it. Hands behind your back. Clasped. That’s how I want you every time we’re like this. Unless I tell you otherwise.”
She swallowed past a very dry mouth, complying with his request. Ha, request. His order.
Her back was arched and she knew she got to him. Knew her beauty appealed. It filled her with power, the allure she held. Just the way he looked at her made her feel beautiful. Incomparable.
He moved to her like a predator. Her nipples hardened impossibly.
She watched as he took each one between thumb and forefinger. Pinching. Tugging.
Her breath gusted from her lips as pleasure ripped through her belly.
He stepped away and she couldn’t stop the sound of disappointment that bubbled up from her belly.
“I’m coming back.” He rustled through the bag he’d brought up from the car, turning as he held a small box. “I have something for you.”
She kept still long enough that he understood. “You can move to take the box and open it.”
Inside lay two new hoops for her nipples and a long silver chain.
“I saw these in a movie once. I’d like you to wear the chain. Between your nipples and then to your clit when I’m not with you.”
This was more than not fucking other people. This was a stamp on her in a way she’d never allowed. The appeal of it set her heart thundering.
She nodded slowly.
“Put the new hoops in.”
She pulled the bars from her nipples and replaced them with the pretty silver hoops he’d presented her with.
Then he wove the chain through the hoops, tugging and bringing a gasp from her. Sensation, quicksilver, flitted through her like lightning.
He petted down her belly and thighs, easing them wider. His fingertips brushed her clit and she moaned at how good it felt.
“I think I’m doing this right.”
She agreed when the cool of the chain slid against her cunt and then through the ring he’d exchanged for her old one.
“They told me the chain goes best with the rings I gave you. I like you like this, but I don’t want to harm you. Does it feel all right?”
He stood, straightening as his gaze slid over her skin like a caress.
“Y-yes.”
More than all right.
“You’re so ridiculously beautiful.”
She smiled past the lump in her throat, luxuriating in the feel of the chain against her flesh.
“I have little weights too. We’ll deal with those next time. For now you look like the best present I ever received and I’m going to fuck the hell out of you.”
“All right.” She put her hands back into position and watched his pupils swallow a bit more of his irises.
He blew out a breath and stepped closer again.
He fisted his cock over and over as he watched her. She couldn’t tear her eyes from the way he touched himself. So sure and unashamed.
But she wanted to be touching him. So much that she ached from it.
“Please.”
He paused. “Please what, darlin’?”
“Please let me do that. Please touch me. Please fuck me. Whatever. Just please.” She’d never in her entire life begged a man or a woman to give her something sexual.
He moved to her, reaching out to caress a hand over her hair, stopping to tip her chin up so he could brush his lips over her mouth. “So pretty. How can I turn down a request from such a beautiful woman?”
He straightened, sliding the head of his cock against her mouth. The salt of him awakened her senses and she had to clasp her hands tighter to keep from reaching out. He hadn’t told her she could.
She swirled her tongue around the head, smearing that pre-come as she did. He grunted when she took him into her mouth totally, sucking him back as far as she could without losing her balance or doing something undignified like gagging.
He fucked into her mouth slow and easy for some time. Long enough that the rhythm of it lulled her senses.
Jonah watched her as he clenched his jaw to keep control. He wanted to spin her around and thrust his cock into that sweet, juicy pussy. But this was too good to stop. Her compliance, the way she was with her hands clasped, wearing the hoops he’d given her in her nipples and clitoral hood, the chain against the pale cream of her skin, he wasn’t ready to let that go just yet.
“Yes, yes, like that.”
She’d had her hair up for their dinner out but when they’d danced it had come loose a little, sending tendrils around her face and at the back of her neck. He pulled the pins out, letting it all free, so cool and soft against his hands and wrists. Thick and dark.
He held her head, cradled it between his palms as he began to fuck her face. To press his cock deep and pull back, watching the slick, dark stalk of his cock, the swell of her lips. The sound was enough, wet around her moans and hums of pleasure.
She got off on this as much as he did. Thank God.
Finally he couldn’t hold it back any longer so he pulled out, letting go. “That’s enough for now. I want you on your back. Hands above your head. Spread your thighs.”
She complied, moving slow. Her expression was dreamy, in direct contrast with the swollen, dark nipples.
Her scent hung in the air, beating at him.
“You smell good enough to eat.”
He grabbed her ankles, pushing her feet back a
nd her knees up, keeping her open to his gaze and his mouth. She was dark and wet, swollen.
There was no more waiting. He had to take her.
He took a long lick, tugging on the ring with his teeth. She shivered and then moaned.
“You’re so juicy. Do you like this, hmm?”
“God, yes!”
He smiled before he went back to work. Licking, sucking, loving every dip and fold. Her pussy was as delicious as it was sensitive. He knew she wasn’t far from climax. Felt the tremble in the muscles of her thighs as he sucked her clit slowly and slid two fingers up into her cunt.
He picked up his pace, flicking his tongue against her clit relentlessly, keeping the pressure even until she breathed out his name and came against his lips, her hips rocking to take what she wanted from him.
After she’d stopped trembling, he pressed a kiss to her inner thigh.
“Hands and knees. I want to fuck you from behind.”
He’d put a condom near when he’d brought the nipple jewelry over, so he got it on quickly as she moved into position. Her back was gorgeous this way, her hair over her face. He’d let her hide for the time being so they could both keep their bearings.
He wanted to roll around in her scent. His hands smelled like her skin. Like coconut and sex and whatever it was that made up Raven.
He aligned his cock and slid deep in one hard thrust and she groaned so deep in her gut he felt the vibrations of it to his balls.
He grabbed her hips and began. Slowly but surely, stroking into her deeply. Over and over as he drove himself up, back toward the climax she’d nearly toppled him into just minutes before.
The muscles and curve of her hips played against his palms as he held on.
Being with her was totally natural and yet utterly unreal all at the same time. She was so much more than he’d bargained for. Everything.
He pressed in one last time with a snarl as he let himself fall into climax before toppling to the bed, holding her close as he came.
He slid onto a barstool next to his brother.
“I ordered you a scotch.”
Jonah tipped his chin. “I knew there was a reason I kept you around. I haven’t eaten yet; you have time for a bite?” He really wanted to bounce some stuff off Levi, who in addition to being his brother, happened to also be his best friend. He knew anything he said would be kept in confidence.
“Daisy’s got some shindig with Delicious so I would just be eating leftovers of some sort anyway. They have a decent bar menu here.”
They did, and he and his brother ordered food and headed to a booth when one opened up.
“The server was giving you the eye.” Levi lifted his glass. “Still got it, even for an old guy.”
“I fucked her once. Right after the divorce.”
Levi snorted. “Damn.”
“It was all right. She made a lot of noise, but I don’t think she really meant it.”
“Maybe you need me to show you where everything is?”
Jonah snorted. “I know where everything is. I never felt compelled to call her again. Because as Raven points out, I’m an asshole.” He laughed.
“She said that?”
“As it happens, she was making a very good point.” He explained it to Levi, who shrugged and nodded.
“She’s pretty smart. But sort of . . . wild. You having a midlife crisis or something?”
“Fuck off. You’re shacked up with a girl nearly half your age.”
“Dude, there’s a lot to be said for midlife crises. Mine came with a hot artist with tits that defy gravity. What’s not to like? I have all my hair and I’m in love.”
“A crisis implies there’s something wrong you need to make up for. This isn’t a crisis. It’s the opposite. I feel totally clear for the first time since Carrie was born. I’m head over my ass in love.”
“Love? Jonah, you’ve been seeing her what? A month?”
“Not quite. But I’m not a teenager. I’ve been to the rodeo, so to speak. I know what infatuation is. I know what lust is. Lust was me fucking the server over there. This woman gets to me. Not because she’s gorgeous, though certainly that’s a bonus. Not because she’s insightful and intelligent, talented, artistic. Not just because she makes me feel like no one ever has in bed. There’s a connection with her that I’ve never, ever had before. I click with her. She . . . I don’t know how to put it into words that do it justice, Levi. But she makes me feel. She makes me work harder than I ever have with a woman. Goddamn, she’s defensive. Bitchy. Sharp and prickly. But so vulnerable. Fragile. The sum of her is irresistible.”
“So you’re going to save her? Is that it? Be the guy who’s done what no one else has?”
“First of all, Dr. Phil, I already have done what no one else has. I listen to her. I accept her. But I don’t take her shit. And I don’t let her push me away. I’m not with her because I’m some fuck-drunk frat boy who has a hard-on for ink and piercings. She’s something else. More than I ever thought I’d find in a partner. She’s a grown-up. She listens to me. She sees things in a way most never will. I don’t need to save her. She’s a woman who’s done plenty of her own saving. She’s endured a lot.” He sipped his drink.
“I’m just saying it seems sudden. You’re not a sudden type of guy.”
“Isn’t love really about someone being something no one else has been? Isn’t that what you have with Daisy? What you didn’t with Kelsey? What I never did with Charlotte? Isn’t it about that connection that clicks and settles down all that noise in your head? She excites me. She challenges me. I’m on fire when I’m with her. Not just the sex, though, wow. She’s that part inside I never knew I’d been missing. But now that I’ve found her, I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Levi dug into the sandwich he’d ordered. “Wow. Well, congratulations then. For what it’s worth, I like her. Though she’s prickly, no doubt about it.”
“Now I just have to convince her I’m in it for the long haul. A lot of people have failed her in her life.” Jonah paused, wiping his mouth. “This is going to make us both uncomfortable, but here goes. You’re into the D/s stuff right? I mean, we’ve skirted around it . . .”
Levi nodded. “It wasn’t something I was really able to get into with Kelsey. I dabbled before Daisy. But she, Daisy, I mean, she just—it works with her. You and Raven?” Levi ate a while as he thought. “I’d be careful around any possible stuff that might bring up her abuse. I’m assuming she’s got some in her background and that’s what you were referring to.”
“I don’t want to say too much about that. She’s given me her confidence and I can’t betray it. But it hasn’t been an issue. Her sexuality is strong. She’s vibrant. She knows what she wants and I have zero doubt that if she didn’t want it, she’d let me know. This isn’t therapy for her. Or me for that matter. She needs . . . a strong hand. She needs to let go of all her control.”
“So you’re going to take her in hand?”
“Not in a paternalistic sense. Like I said, she’s a grown-ass woman. But all her bullshit notions about what a relationship is, what it means to be with someone, they need to be broken apart. She submits, holy shit, she gives over and it’s like everything just feels perfect. I need to break down her defenses, so she knows she can count on me.”
“That makes sense. Bind her perhaps?”
“I can’t believe we’re having this discussion.” Jonah snorted, taking a few hearty gulps of his scotch.
“Ha. You started it.”
“I’m going to collar her.”
Levi sat back. “Really? I can’t imagine she’d go for that.”
“Not to own her. But I think she needs that underline on my commitment. It’s a declaration from me, a tangible one. I think she needs to be peeled open, layer after layer, and since we really click sexually, I think that’s our key.”
Levi nodded. “I can see that. But I’d be sure my first-aid kit was stocked. Just in case she sees it differently.” br />
Jonah snorted. “She’s dangerous enough to kick my ass if I push too hard.”
“Hot though. Daisy undoes me when she’s like that. So, when are you seeing her again?”
“She’s coming over next week to do some more on my back. But I’m trying to get her to agree to be my date for the museum benefit this weekend. You and Daisy will be there, right?”
“Yes.” Levi gave him a look. “You sure about that?”
“Why?”
“Don’t give me that face. Mother is going to be there. Have you told her about Raven yet?”
“I’m a forty-two-year-old man. I don’t run my romantic life past my mother. Anyway, she and I are having lunch before the board meeting on Thursday so I was planning on it then.” He shrugged. “I mean to make Raven part of my life. I’m telling Carrie about her this week. I wanted to do it face-to-face, but she’s getting ready to go to Paris with her friends and I wanted her to know before I took her around anywhere she’d come into contact with Mother.”
“How do you think Carrie is going to react?”
“If she isn’t happy for me, I raised her wrong.”
“True. It’s not like you’ve been bringing all manner of random chick around since you and Charlotte split. Mother, on the other hand . . .”
“Whatever.”
“You know I’ve got your back. You kicked my ass when I messed things up with Daisy. We want you to be happy like we are. And in case you’re wondering, those are her words. I’m more prone to bad words and threats to keep you in line.”
Jonah grinned at his brother. “Hopefully it’ll be all right.”
Raven lay on her belly, dancing a plastic horse around as Alexander made growling sounds with his.
“Dude, horses don’t growl.” Ben grinned at his son.
“Mine do.” Alexander nodded once and went back to growling and prancing.
Raven tried not to laugh.
“Good thing you came over. Brody and Elise will be here in a few minutes with Marti and Rennie.”
Alexander clapped. “Yay! Pizza!”
“I was thinking tacos.”