Chapter 1
"Victor, can you hand me some extra juice to throw in the beach bag?" I asked my significant other.
"Give me a minute Jenna, can't you see I'm a little busy right now."
My heart tugged a little at his tone. Today was supposed to be a fun day. We were finally home again with our children after completing a rather difficult task in the Middle-East. Victor had been on edge since our return, and I felt a slight unease because of his odd behavior. Each assignment lately seemed to take a greater toll on him than the other Protectors. I had been meaning to talk to Haniel about it, but never seemed to get the chance. Haniel's visits have been sporadic lately and I missed talking to him.
Shaking off my unease, I left the half-packed beach bag on the table and walked up behind Victor and placed my hands on his shoulders. He jumped slightly at my touch as he closed down the computer. I could feel the tension and mixed emotions that had been swirling around him since our return the previous night.
I had hoped that the mixed emotions would disappear once we returned home and got to see Harmony and Mark again, but after a brief reunion with them, he had closed himself up in his office.
"What's wrong with daddy?" Mark had asked, confused at his father's standoffish attitude.
"Daddy's just a little sad after our last job," I said, trying to ease his confusion.
"Will you fix him?" He asked as I tucked him into bed after blowing raspberries on his belly, making him giggle in the sweet way I loved so much.
"Yes, mommy will fix him, and tomorrow we will go to the beach and see all our friends," I said, amazed that even at the tender age of three, Mark somewhat understood the uniqueness of our bonds.
"Krista?" Mark asked, distracted about the promised beach trip.
"Yes my sweet, you will see Krista there," I said, returning his smile. I did not resent his attachment to my dear friend's little girl. It was the way it should be. One day they would grow up and they would marry each other. They would spend their youth as the best of friends until they reached their teenage years where they would discover the far deeper love they felt for each other, just as Harmony would with Mason. It was what we were created for.
"Now go to sleep and have the sweet dreams I know you will have," I said, kissing his chubby cheeks one last time.
But I didn't have the chance to "fix" Victor by the time both kids had been put to bed. He had already retired for the night.
To my dismay, Victor's mood was not much better the next morning. Trying to ease his tension, I massaged his shoulders gently, mustering a small bit of peace and tranquility together inside me and prepared to send it his way. Before I could cast it toward him though, he stood up and pulled me in his arms.
"I'm okay. Don't waste anymore of your emotions. You need to recoup," he said, finally sounding like the man who held the key to my heart. "I'm working through it and will be fine," he added, reassuring me with a quick kiss on my lips. I tightened my arms around his neck, aching to deepen the kiss. It had been weeks since we had any significant alone time and I craved his touch.
"Momma, I can't find my Spiderman swim frunks." Mark said plaintively behind me. "And Harmony's swimsuit is broken I fink," he added, making me smile. I just adored his lisp, it was so cute. Pulling away from Victor reluctantly, I turned around to assist my two adorable munchkins.
I had to laugh when I saw that Harmony's swimsuit did indeed look broken with the way Mark had tried to put it on her. He had looped one of the armholes around her neck leaving a missing armhole for her tiny left arm.
"Let mommy fix that," I said, kneeling down in front of the little bundle of sunshine in front of me. Harmony smiled at me in her usual way and waited patiently while I righted her swimsuit. I brushed her long locks of golden hair off her narrow shoulders so the strap wouldn’t get tangled in it.
"There, all fixed," I said, still hunkering down in front of her. "You ready to go play in the sand?" I asked her.
"Sand," she said, her bright blue eyes shining.
"Yes, sand, my silly honeysuckle girl." Harmony's fascination with the sand on the beach was one that had kept all of us entertained. She would play in the sand for hours, sifting it though her tiny little fingers and watching it cascade down. She had no use for the vast ocean, but the sand on the beach was by far her favorite destination.
"Are you ready to go Jenna?" Victor asked, coming down the hallway with an oddly sullen Mark trailing behind him.
"Yep, just about. What's the matter sweetie?" I asked Mark.
"Daddy said I don't need my Spiderman frunks," he said with uncharacteristic tears welling up in his eyes.
"Why not?" I asked a little confused.
"Because the plaid ones are fine and he needs to start learning that he can't have everything he wants. He also needs to learn to curb his tears," Victor said in a harsh voice that shocked me.
"Of course he can wear his Spiderman trunks," I said intervening. "I know exactly where they are and there's no reason he should go without." We had never argued about the kids before. Raising the next generation of Guides and Protectors was an honor; the fact that they were all good natured and happy made the job all the easier.
"You're right," Victor said, switching gears. "I just couldn't find them and was a little frustrated. I'll go load up the car," he added, leaving the room abruptly.
The panic and misgivings I had been trying to keep at bay reared its ugly head as I blinked away sudden tears. I was going to have to talk to Haniel; something was clearly wrong.
***
By the time I loaded the kids into the car, Victor seemed back to normal and was joking with the kids about catching a wave to Hawaii. Mark was quiet and withdrawn at first, but by the time we pulled into the crowded lot, he was giggling at Victor's jokes. Placing my panic about his sporadic emotions in a file to be analyzed later, I joined in with their silly bantering.
Our friends pulled in the lot shortly after us. I hugged Kate, Rachel and Melissa though I had just seen them the day before. Being away from each other wasn't something any of us liked and barely a day would pass where we did not get together for at least a little while. I helped Kate unbuckle Shawn and Krista from their car seats and loaded them up in one of the four oversized wagons we brought to the beach with us. Rachel set Sam in the wagon with Shawn and Mark clambered in next, setting himself next to Krista. Harmony waited patiently in my arms while Chris unloaded the next wagon out of the back of his and Rachel's car. Once he placed it on the ground, I set Harmony in it next to Mason and Lynn and Robert filled in the last two spaces. The last two wagons were loaded down with our beach towels, umbrellas, sunscreen and sand toys for the kids.
I grabbed the handle of the wagon with Harmony in it, while Kate took charge of the one with Mark. Melissa and Rachel trailed behind us making sure everyone remained sitting down. The guys brought up the rear with the two remaining wagons and two oversized coolers on wheels.
Having kids had definitely changed our beach trips, I thought ruefully as we made our way down the slanted path, but we definitely had it down to a science.
"So, how's Victor this morning?" Kate asked quietly beside me.
Though I was close with everyone in our tight-knit group, Kate was my best friend and I had confided my concerns with her during our last assignment.
"He snapped at Mark this morning," I said, quietly glancing behind me to make sure no one could hear.
"What?" She asked, clearly baffled.
"I know. It was so out of the blue and over something completely ridiculous. I just don't know what to do."
"Is he still blocking you from his thoughts?"
I nodded my head miserably.
"I was thinking I would call his sister, but I know her band is on another assignment. The Middle-East mess is keeping all of us on our toes," I said. I really would like to talk to Haniel the most, but he's never around anymore."
"Yeah, it is strange that Haniel is spending so much time away fro
m us. As of right now, we're the youngest active band. I'm surprised The Light has him stationed elsewhere," she said. "Of course, the fact that we kick butt at our assignments might be a small part of it," she added, trying to lighten the mood.
I couldn't help but smile. Not that we were cocky, but she had a point. Our group had exceptional success rates in the field.
"I'm sure it's just the stress of keeping you safe," Kate said quietly as we reached the hard packed sand.
"I hope so," I said as I dragged the wagon across the sand with the help of Rachel pushing it from behind.
"I say this spot's good," Melissa said, panting at the rear of Kate's wagon.
"Sounds good to me," I said, massaging out the sore muscle in my arm.
Within fifteen minutes our beach day camp was set up and the kids were running around squealing in delight. Victor seemed completely normal as he played touch football with his friends and I began to relax. Kate was right. Being a protector was a stressful job and he just needed to recuperate from our last assignment.
After a little down time everything will go back to normal, I couldn’t help thinking already feeling relieved.
Chapter 2
The next few days were uneventful as we settled into the routine of being back home. As each day passed, Victor lost his odd mix of feelings and seemed almost normal again. He still kept his thoughts blocked from me and kept our intimacy at arm's length, but I didn’t press the issue. I knew he would eventually come around. Intimacy had never been an issue for us and though I craved his warm touch, I gave him his space.
On the third day of our return home, I was sitting on the living room floor folding Harmony's cute little jumpers that had just came out of the dryer, watching the news when a booming knock sounded at our front door.
Squealing in delight, I jumped to my feet knocking the stack of freshly folded clothes over. I would know that knock anywhere. Throwing the door open, I threw myself in the arms of the 7' Archangel standing in front of me.
Haniel was used to my exuberant nature and didn't seem surprised that I had hugged him. I knew that usually Guides and Protectors refrained from hugging him, but I loved him. He was like family to me. I loved his stodgy attitude and his booming voice, and though he rarely showed it, I loved his sense of humor. He was like the brother I never had.
"Hello Jenna, it's nice to see you looking so well after your last assignment," Haniel said stepping into the living room.
"It was a piece of cake," I said, making light out of the volatile situation we had been placed in.
"I'm sure it was," he said dryly, making me giggle.
"Where have you been Haniel? I've missed you."
"I have been busy. It's a tough job keeping all my Guides and Protectors in order. Speaking of which, where is Victor?"
"He had to run some errands, but shouldn't you already know that?" I teased him.
He merely raised his golden eyebrows at me, making me giggle again. I couldn't help teasing him about the fact that I thought he should know everything.
"The Light does not share everything with me Jenna," he said, responding to my light laugh. "Though he did send me here today, but I assumed it was to chat with both you and Victor," he said, sounding unusually mystified.
Apprehension welled up inside me. The Light obviously had picked up on my misgivings and had sent Haniel to counsel me. I felt the stirring of embarrassment blossoming up inside me that I had made a small nothing into a mountain.
I sunk down on the edge of the couch. I kept my head down as I willed the embarrassment back.
I felt the sofa dip down beside me as Haniel settled his massive frame next to me.
"Jenna, it is not unusual for Protectors to struggle after a tough assignment. Though they have their Guides to help protect them from the hostile emotions they come in contact with, some of the negativity is bound to slip by," Haniel said, picking my thoughts from my head.
I cringed that I hadn't blocked my thoughts from him. A few days ago I had been dying to talk to him, but having my misgivings out in the open seemed irrational now.
"Jenna, this is what I was made for. It is my job to give you the support you need. Never hesitate to come to me when you are troubled. It pains me to see a soul as beautiful as yours struggle with doubts."
"He just seems so distant anymore Haniel. I feel like I'm losing him, but that's impossible right? I know Protectors can't leave their guides. I'm just being silly, I know that," I said, standing up to pace back and forth. "I know a protector can't leave his guide, but can he fall out of love with her?" I asked as my heart clenched at just the thought.
"Jenna he hasn't fallen out of love with you, it would be impossible. Your soul is like the heavens opened and filled with life," Haniel said in an oddly choked voice.
Startled, I looked up at him, but his face was as passive as ever with no signs of any other emotion. I shook my head at my imagination. What could Haniel possibly be choked up about, we were merely assignments of his.
"I will be gone for the next few days, but when I return I will counsel with Victor and lend my assistance," Haniel said, breaking into my thoughts that I had thankfully remembered to block from him as he strode toward the door in his normal abrupt manner.
"Thank you Haniel."
"Don't worry Jenna, all will be well," he said, closing the door softly behind him.
***
My talk with Haniel eased my fears and by the time Victor came home, I was happily humming in the kitchen while I finished the last few touches on our dinner. The kids had been fed and were tucked firmly in their beds.
"Hi, honey," I said, greeting him as I set the table.
"You look cheerful," he said, flashing me my favorite smile I hadn’t seen in a while.
"It was a good day," I said, standing on tiptoes to brush a kiss along his hard jaw line.
"Really, why is that?" He asked, pulling me into his arms.
"Oh you know, hanging out with the kids," I said, deciding to keep Haniel's visit quiet until Victor met with him himself. "They're so cute and clever," I added, linking my arms around his neck.
For the first time in weeks, he didn't draw away. Testing the water, I gently nipped on his jaw again and felt his arms tighten around me the way I liked. Smiling against his neck, I worked my way up and nipped his ear next. He pulled away and I prepared to fight back my disappointment when he reached up his hands to cup my face. Sighing with pleasure, I parted my lips as his descended on mine. After weeks of barely any contact, his kiss was like aloe balm on sunburn skin, instantly soothing my soul that belonged to him. I kissed him back with abandon and moaned with delight when he pulled me even closer to him.
"The kids?" He asked, finally breaking the kiss.
"Tucked away in their beds," I said breathlessly, knowing exactly what he was asking.
Smiling slightly, he dragged me back in for another kiss. I gripped his broad shoulders as he scooped me up in his strong arms and carried me back toward our bedroom, all thoughts of dinner forgotten.
Chapter 3
The next morning I awoke confused.
For the first time in my entire life, my sleep had been void of any dreams. Feeling sick from the absence of our shared dreams, I sat up abruptly looking for Victor, but saw that his side of the bed was empty. Something was terribly wrong. I had never heard of a guide or protector not dreaming of each other. It was one of our greatest gifts from The Light. It was what gave us strength and peace. My head whirled as I tried to process what it could mean and I yearned to talk to Haniel.
Settling on the next best thing, I reached for the phone to call Kate, but dropped the receiver when Victor bustled into the room.
"Oh good you're up. Haniel came by and we have a new assignment," he said pulling on a clean polo shirt.
"Really? I thought we were going to have some down time?" I said surprised.
"It's local. Some drug lord has set up shop in some abandoned warehouses on the outskirts of
town and is using teens to distribute, which is why they're sending Guides in."
Still a little confused, I pulled on my robe. Usually we had more time to prepare for an assignment. "Is Haniel still here?" I asked, wondering if I would have time to ask him about the dream.
"No, he already headed out. He left all the details with me." Victor said, pulling on his white crew socks.
"Oh," I said, swallowing my disappointment. "Did he say anything else?" I pried, hoping maybe Haniel had at least taken the time to counsel Victor like he had promised.
"No, why would he? We're adults and can handle an assignment without any handholding," he said, sounding annoyed.
"Oh, I know that. I was just curious," I said, trying to pacify him. I approached him from behind sliding my arms around his midriff hoping to reignite the magic from the night before, but he pulled away from me.
"We have to hurry," he said, pecking me on the cheek, sensing my confusion.
"Why the rush?" I asked as I pulled on a pair of dark jeans.
"Haniel wants us to get there before the dealer can hand out the new shipment he got in last night."
"What about the kids?" I asked, wondering if Lacey could make it over on such short notice.
"I called Lacey and she and her friend Sabrina can watch all the kids at Melissa and Daniel's house since they have a bigger playroom."
I swallowed back my surprise, glad that he seemed excited about this assignment. Lately each assignment seemed to drag him down and I was usually left making all the arrangements.
I finished getting ready and headed out to the living room to pack a bag for the kids. Harmony was in her highchair munching on dry cheerios while Mark sat at the counter on a bar stool eating a piece of toast.