"Yep, it is," I said, thankful that he didn't push the matter further. "Why are you here? And how did you get in here without Joan seeing you?" I asked, puzzled that he had sought me out at work.
He raised an eyebrow at me, which looked silly on him, but was something he and I had been working on to help him appear more humanistic, as Sam and I liked to put it. We had made it our pet project to give him lessons on hand gestures and facial expressions, which he was starting to use appropriately. Joking, on the other hand, still fell flat with him, and Sam and I finally gave that one up as a lost cause.
I knew Haniel only indulged in my efforts to modify him as a means to keep my mind occupied and keep me moving forward each day. He wasn't the only one though that worked to keep me busy. My friends were equally guilty with the activities they had implemented, like Sam's sudden fascination with rollerblading or Lynn's new fetish with the mom-and-pop music store we had discovered downtown. Every other day or so, Lynn would drag me there to listen to countless new and different artists, which ironically, was how I had stumbled onto the country song I had just cried my eyes out to. Shawn had even gotten into the action by deciding that it was almost sinful to live in California and not fly a kite at least once every couple of days. He now had a growing collection of brightly colored extravagant kites that he and I would fly on the beach when the wind was blowing at its most optimal condition.
Even though their ploys were obvious, I was still grateful that they all cared so much that they would come up with ways to occupy me. I valued the alone time I got with each of them. Group outings were nonexistent now, and I knew it was because they didn't want me to feel like the odd man out. I appreciated their consideration though. Moving on was tough, and seeing my friends with their Links was painful, not because I was envious, but from the indescribable sorrow of losing Mark.
I was a rarity, being the only Guide in over five hundred years that had survived the severed bond that my Protector and I had shared.
"Ok, so, what are you doing here?" I asked, getting his silent message that as one of the most powerful Angels ever, he could go anywhere without being seen.
"I feel we need to discuss the plans you have been making," he answered simply, not needing to clarify.
I felt my knees give out from under me at his words as I sank into the chair. "I'm going after him Haniel. I have to." I whispered, not wanting Joan to hear me.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because I'm empty without him!" I said louder than I intended. "I have no purpose on earth with him gone," I added in a quieter voice.
"Krista you're wrong. You don't yet understand the extent of your purpose. Your place on earth surpasses any soul that has ever crossed my path," Haniel replied.
"Can't you understand how it feels Haniel, loving someone that no longer loves you back? I have to know why." I said dejectedly, knowing an Archangel couldn't possibly understand what I was talking about.
Much to my surprise, Haniel simply nodded at my words.
"Does that mean we can go?" I asked, not daring to believe.
"Yes Krista, we can go, but it will be on my terms, with stipulations of course," Haniel stated.
Chapter 2
"Like what?" I asked, not really caring what kind of stipulations he had. I would walk barefoot across broken glass for the chance to see Mark one last time. If his soul was indeed gone, all my plans would be dashed, but if it was just buried, I could use my gifts to save him. My fear though, was that even if his soul was savable, it might not change how he felt about me. I just wanted to try. Even if only to keep Mark from turning out like his father. If I could set his soul free it would be worth it, even if it meant I would have to live without him.
"I will explain it all when we join the others," he said. "You need to come with me now."
"Haniel I can't leave now. Joan needs my help today stocking the new books in," I said, indicating the cart of books I had loaded up.
"I will take care of your boss."
"Oh no, you're not going to do the mind-melt stuff on her, are you?" I asked, feeling terrible about the idea of manipulating poor Joan.
"Krista, do you want to go after Mark or not?" Haniel asked.
His point was clear. Why the heck was I worrying about a temporary mind lapse when we were finally setting a plan in motion? Priorities Krista, priorities, I silently reminded myself.
"Do I need to go check in with her?" I asked, unsure of what exactly he had planned for Joan's mind to believe.
"There is no need for that. She will have no recollection that you were here today. As far as she knows, you stopped working here last week. She will be under the assumption that you are on your way to your next learning establishment."
"So, I don't even get to say goodbye?" I asked sadly, glancing toward the door.
"Time is critical and goodbyes must be put aside," he said. "I will meet you at the dwelling of your friends," he added, exiting the stockroom through the swinging door that separated the sales floor from the stockroom.
I glanced toward the doors one last time, regretful that I couldn't say goodbye to my new friend, but I was suddenly anxious to leave and start what I had been waiting two months for. I scooped up my backpack along with one of the novels Joan had set aside on her desk. I had already prepaid for it, but for some reason I still felt a little guilty as I shoved it into my bag. I was halfway toward the stockroom door when I remembered my iPod that was still on the docking station. Rushing back to the desk, I grabbed it and hurried out of the stockroom, locking the door behind me. I would have to remember to drop my key in the mail so that Joan could give it to the summer help next year, I thought as I started up my mom's Focus.
My nerves kicked into high gear as I navigated the streets. Haniel had mentioned "stipulations," and though I curious on what that might mean, nothing could stop the adrenaline that rushed through my veins. I wanted to go now, this instant.
The scenery passed by in a blur in what seemed like the longest drive ever, until I finally pulled into the apartment complex my friends were sharing. The exterior of the complex was older and a bit dated, but the management at least did a good job at keeping up with the grounds and such. The inside had been renovated in the last few years so each rental was updated with new appliances, carpeting, and bathroom fixtures. The space was half the size of Mark's house, but was all we could afford by pooling our money together.
I used my key to let myself in to find my motley group of friends already assembled and waiting for me with Haniel.
"I thought you two worked today," I asked Sam and Robert as I plopped down on the second-hand sofa next to Sam.
"We did, but Haniel caught us in the parking lot of Pizza Pete's after he came to see you," Sam said, smiling at me as she reached over to grasp my hand in hers.
I felt the calming affects of her touch instantaneously as my frazzled nerves began to calm down. My extended family was well aware of the fact that I had been waiting for this moment, and they also knew exactly how I was feeling. They had all grieved over Mark's betrayal of our group, but had remained stoically supportive of any decision I made.
"I have agreed to assist Krista with a rescue mission," Haniel said, answering the question of why we were all gathered here.
I smiled in relief, but I didn't even need to use my ability to read emotions to see the mixed feelings coming from my friends. It was obvious from the looks on their faces. Shawn's emotions were the strongest, running the gambit between angst to concern for me. I knew he missed his best friend, but I also felt his stubborn determination to stop Mark at all costs if he had turned dark like his father. That was Mark's biggest fear when we were together. He had confided his disgust regarding his father's blatant disregard for the sacredness of human life to Shawn and me. I just hope I'm not making a huge mistake and that he still feels that way now.
"With stipulations," Haniel continued, breaking into my thoughts.
"What kind of stipulations?" I asked app
rehensively.
"You will not be alone on your quest. The other active bands will join you, as will I."
"What?" Sam asked incredulously. "I thought the livelihood of humanity will be put at risk if you were to help fight with us."
"The agreement has already been breached. Victor would not have been able to control and dominate so many Daemons without the direct help of The Dark One. The Light has given me the authority to make whatever decisions are necessary. Victor has been hard at work rebuilding his army, and his forces have grown."
"So, you're telling us that the battle we endured two months ago was like a chess match?" Robert asked.
"Chess match?" Haniel asked puzzled.
"Like a game," Sam said, trying to explain Robert's analogy.
"Ah, yes. Victor orchestrated every aspect of the last meeting. All except one," he said, looking at me pointedly.
I blushed at Haniel's words. My friends had been awestruck at the power I was able to emit that saved us all that night. Haniel had told me weeks later that in all his years training Guides, he had never seen any stop so many Daemons at once. I knew he believed it was because I was special, but in all actuality, I knew it was something else. When Victor had stripped everything from me, something inside of me snapped and I was able to somehow harness all my power and use it against the Daemons we faced. I wasn't anything special, unless you counted the fact that I was the only Guide that had survived the separation from their Protector, and I wasn't sure if that could be counted as a virtue or a serious character flaw.
I pulled away from my errant thoughts when Haniel continued. "Krista, you are allowed to accompany us on our journey, but are instructed to stay behind in the camp when we move forward."
"Are you kidding me? No way, I'm not staying behind…"
Haniel raised his hand, cutting off my rant. "Then you stay here," he stated, leaving no room for argument. "The Dark One will be able to use your vulnerability against you with those he has turned," he added, making his implication clear. If Mark had indeed embraced his father's dark side, he could use it against me. It seemed surreal to think that Mark would use my love and the bond we had shared against me, but I knew it was a distinct possibility. Haniel had told me not long after Mark had left me, the exact circumstances that had transpired when Victor had changed. How he had turned the love of Mark's mother against her. I knew that if Mark was forever lost, he could kill me as easily as his father had killed his mom.
True evil was a force to be reckoned with.
"Fine," I agreed stubbornly. "What do you mean stay behind at the camp though?" I asked as the rest of his words finally registered through my head.
"As you are already aware, Victor has chosen to seclude himself on Mt. Shasta. His facility is nestled deep in the heart of the mountain. He has also used the mystical reputation that Mt. Shasta has acquired through local folklore to his advantage. He uses Daemons in their true form to scare away any unwanted visitors, which has only fueled the superstitions that surround the mountain."
"Mt. Shasta? I'd never heard of it before you mentioned it a few weeks ago," Lynn finally piped in. "Is it in California?"
"It is located five hours north of the area you call San Francisco."
"It makes sense that Victor would choose such an obscure place," Sam said quietly. "If he's building an even greater army, he'd need a spot where he's least likely to get unwelcome visitors."
"What's he planning Haniel?" I finally asked, moving past my initial excitement of finally doing something, to being a little concerned. The fact that Haniel had consented to intervene and be a part of my mission was enough to sound an alarm in my head.
"It would seem that Victor has decided the world would be a much better place with less human interference. It has come to our attention that he is now taking greater advantage of forgotten souls by resorting to possession. Their thoughts, feelings and any emotional attachments are wiped clean while he uses them for his bidding."
"How is that any different than when a Daemon possesses a human?" Lynn asked.
"When a Daemon possesses a human they can only use one host at a time. Victor is able to possess multiple forgotten souls at once."
"How is that even possible?" I asked with disbelief coloring my voice.
"The Light did not share his insights with me. My duties were handed down to me by one of The Light's most trusted Angels. We do not question The Light," Haniel said, making it clear that even the thought of doing so was ludicrous.
I looked at him in dismay. I get it, the Light was all powerful and the very reason for our existence, but to not be able to ask questions seemed insane to me, especially in a situation such as this.
"It is the way it should be Krista," Haniel said, reading my disgruntled thoughts.
"The Light knows the outcome of every situation you will ever face, but it is your freewill that gives you the opportunity to change the outcome of everything you encounter. The explanations that you seek will only inhibit your very essence of being. To question The Light, would be to know your future."
"I get that, but surely a little heads-up could only help in a circumstance like this," Robert said, jumping into the conversation.
"It is neither my place nor yours to question The Light," Haniel said, closing the door on any further argument. "We leave for our journey in the morning," he added, heading for the front door.
"Wait, what about the others? Are we leaving without them?" I asked.
"They will be here by morning," he said, closing the door softly behind him.
"Frick, that annoys me so much!" I grumbled, sinking back against the worn cushions of the couch we had picked up at a garage sale. The musty cushions emitted a faint scent of pipe tobacco as I rested my head back. Shawn had volunteered to clean them, but Sam and I had both protested. For some reason the smell was comforting to the both of us.
"He's got a point Sis. If The Light answered every question we asked, we would never make a decision on our own. It would change the course of our lives," Shawn said, perching on the arm of the couch next to me, as he reached out to ruffle my hair affectionately.
I ducked to the side trying to save my ponytail from looking like a cyclone had wrecked havoc on it.
"Stop!" I protested, giggling as he used his long arms to maul my hair one last time.
"So, how are things between you and your mom?" Sam asked, bringing down the mood again.
"The same. She was upset when I told her I wanted you and Shawn to drive me to the airport, but I've been distancing myself from her so much the last few months, that her protest seemed feeble. I know she's hurt that I've changed so much lately, but I'm so sick of pretending I'm something I'm not. The whole human charade has become a big fat pain in the neck," I said defensively, trying to hide the real reason I had begun to cut myself off from my mom. The pain over losing me this way would be much easier on her than if I were to die.
"Krista we're not judging you. We know how tough all of this has been on you," Sam said, sinking next to me to grasp my hand.
Sudden moisture filled my eyes as my friends all looked at me compassionately. I knew they could see through my ploy. "I'm just trying to make it easier for her," I mumbled, willing the moisture back.
"We know Krista, but we're not going to allow anything to happen to you, no matter what. You understand? We are not letting you go," Shawn said, his voice shaking with emotion.
"You guys just don't understand," I said standing up. "I'm an empty shell without him. I would say I ache, but there's nothing left inside me to ache. If I've lost him forever, what will fill that void he left behind," I said with my voice rising slightly.
I was grateful for the silence that now followed my rant. I did not want to be pacified. I just wanted them to understand how I felt.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow," I said after my angst dissipated. I headed toward the door, keeping my eyes averted from the worried looks that followed.
Chapter 3
&n
bsp; The next morning I dragged myself out of bed exhausted. My mom and I had stayed up late as she made a final attempt to change my mind about her going with me to Colorado to check in at school. I knew this was all taking a toll on her, and I hoped to be able to make it up to her someday, but I held firm that this was something I wanted to do alone. After a fountain of tears she had finally consented and we hit the sack on somewhat of a truce.
I could hear her moving around as I gathered my bags together. I looked around my room one last time to make sure I had everything. My heart broke as I watched Feline snoozing on the rocking chair in the corner of my room. I approached him sadly, and sank down on my knees in front of the chair.
"I will miss you my wonderful furry friend," I said sadly, scratching him under the chin. I knew these goodbyes were inevitable, and I thought I had prepared myself, but as Feline let out a loud purr of approval, hot tears streamed down my cheeks. It's times like this that I wish my heart would turn to stone, making me immune to heart wrenching goodbyes.
"I love you buddy," I said, dropping a kiss on the top of his head.
I stood back up, slung my backpack over my shoulders, and grasped the handles of my two suitcases as I prepared to head downstairs. I swept my eyes around my room one last time, drinking in the space. My winter clothes from Montana sat in the far corner of the room in three cartons that were ready to be sent when I was ready. I opened the door and was startled to see my mom sitting in one of the Lazy Boys in our mock library.
"You all ready?" She asked sadly, eyeing the bags at my feet.
"Yeah, Shawn and Sam should be here in a few minutes," I said as the feeling of grief was pressing hard on me. My grand plan to distance myself from her had seemed like the best solution to all the madness that surrounded me, but looking at her drooped shoulders and red eyes, the guilt was becoming more than I could bear.
I dropped my backpack at my feet and stumbled over my suitcases as I rushed into her waiting arms. "I'm sorry mom. I just need to get away from this area for a while," I mumbled, throwing up the only excuse that would make sense to her.