"Her Link was cut?" I asked, digesting his words and their true meaning. I knew my link with Mark had been cut also, but I had never considered the fact that my soul was now free to pick someone else. The thought made me slightly nauseous.
"Yes, Victor broke her heart before he silenced her earth life."
"Oh my God, it was Mark's mom?" I said with sudden tears welling up in my eyes.
He nodded his head, not bothering to answer.
"Holy Crow Bear Haniel, you love Mark's mom," I said relishing the words. Just because my love life was in shambles didn't mean I wasn't still a diehard romantic. "Does she know?"
"I am unsure of love. How would one know such things?" He asked, clearly confused. His uncharacteristic vulnerability touched me like nothing else had in a long time.
I reached over and grasped his hands and was taken aback, reading a mix of swirling emotions that were obviously foreign to an Archangel. "You could tell her." I said earnestly. "Is she in some part of Heaven that you're not allowed to enter?"
He flashed a rare smile at my Heavenly ignorance. "Krista, Heaven is not sectioned into classes like Earth. It is a paradise for all the souls that reside there."
"Then why have you waited so long to talk to her?"
"I felt she was entitled to grieve her loss," he said, clearly searching for an excuse.
"That's reasonable for the first year, but sixteen?" I said sarcastically. "I mean seriously, for an imposing Archangel, you sure can be a wimp," I teased.
"Coming from a mere Guide, I do not take that as an insult," he teased which shocked the heck out of me.
"Was that good old human sarcasm?" I asked, laughing hysterically.
"Was that not an appropriate time?"
"Heck yeah it was, but The Light's not going to let you keep hanging out with me if I'm corrupting you," I said, still laughing.
He shot me another rare smile. "You are similar to her in many ways you know," he said.
"I am?" I asked, all laughter gone as I got a rare insight into Mark's mom.
"Yes. She was filled with light, just as you are. Always quick to smile and laugh, but could get… sassy, as you call it," he continued, trying out the new word I had taught him a couple days ago.
"Hey, I'm not sassy," I said smirking at him. "What else was she like?"
My question sparked a floodgate of enthusiasm from Haniel. Suddenly, he began to talk non-stop about Mark's mom in a tone more animated than I had ever heard from him. For the first time ever, I forgot that he was some mystical being that had been mingling between the earthly and heavenly realms for centuries. Seeing an Archangel talk about something with such passion was an experience in itself. His very essence sparkled like a diamond and the pure joy radiating off him was overwhelmingly contagious. His love was tangible and I drank it in like a tonic, awakening the section of my heart that had been numb for so long. There was none of the lost and lonely feelings of jealousy I seemed to feel around my friends lately. Instead, I was somehow inspired and completely drawn in by Haniel's display of affection.
Chapter 8
"We better join the others," he finally said, looking at the setting sun.
"Wow, what time is it?" I asked, glancing at my watch. "Oh my gosh, it's almost five o'clock," I said, shocked that we had been talking for hours. I felt guilty for leaving my friends for so long. I hadn't thought about poor John once the entire afternoon.
"He is well," Haniel said, picking the words from my head.
"Okay good. I still feel bad though. I should've been back at the camp helping out."
"Your help was unnecessary. They have been busy strategizing tomorrow's attack on Victor's compound."
Suddenly I was irritated. Had Haniel betrayed me by deliberately keeping me away from the others the entire afternoon?
"Krista, I do not use ploys," Haniel said quietly. "Today was rare for me. If anyone neglected their duties, it was I. I allowed myself to interact like a human, forgetting my responsibilities."
"Haniel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad we talked today. Acting human is okay, believe me," I said, feeling ashamed of myself. Haniel had opened up and I corrupted it with my own selfishness.
"I understand your frustrations Krista, but you must understand, 'The Light' only wishes to protect you."
"Why did he let me come then?"
"Your Gifts were necessary to protect the others."
"So, I'm like some kind of shield now?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yes," he answered, not bothering to sugarcoat it. "Would you have preferred to let your Band handle the situation themselves?" He continued, making his point clear.
"No," I answered quietly. Without me, my friends would have died the previous night, and even if they had somehow survived the bug swarm, John would have surly died from the bear attack.
We walked the rest of the distance in silence as the responsibility of my Band members settled on my shoulders. We were just about back to the campsite when I finally asked the question that had been bugging me. "If I'm supposed to protect them then why am I being excluded from the rescue mission?"
"The Light is unsure of the situation surrounding Victor's compound. The Dark One has shrouded the entire site in darkness and The Light does not want to risk your life when we go in blind."
"So, my friends and family are indispensible?" I asked indigently.
"Not indispensible, but their lives are less precious than yours," he said in his normal spare-no-feelings kind of way.
"That's ridiculous," I said, stomping ahead of him.
My sour mood lasted only about as long as it took to arrive back at the camp. Seeing my friends sitting around chatting warmed my heart, especially John and Kieran who were lost in each other's arms on the far side of the campsite.
"How's he doing?" I asked Shawn and Sam as I sat down next to them on one of the rough logs.
"Much better. You'd never guess he was mauled by a frikin bear earlier," Sam said, not even bothering to hide her awe.
"So now you can walkie-talkie with Archangels too?" Shawn teased, nudging me.
"Yeah, I guess so. It's more like a paging thing. I just called for him in my mind and I knew he was on his way."
"That's freaking awesome Sis."
I shrugged my shoulders, trying to be blasé, but I had a hard time keeping a straight face.
"Nice try, but even you can't deny it's way cool," Sam said, laughing at my attempt.
"It is pretty cool, and it did help today," I said, looking at John meaningfully. "So, Haniel said you guys are heading in tomorrow night," I said, changing the subject.
"That's the plan. Haniel will accompany us once we hit the base of Victor's lair."
"I wonder what his plan is for me," I speculated.
"You're supposed to head back to the cars. That's our rendezvous point in case anything goes wrong," Shawn said.
I nodded my head. It made sense. "What about the campsite?"
"Once everything is over, we'll hike back up here to break it all down if we're still alive," Shawn said.
His words hit me like a truck. It was insane to think that by the time tomorrow night ended, I could be all alone.
The injustice of the whole situation made me so angry. It wasn't supposed to be this way. What good are my so-called gifts to my friends if they're going in alone? I thought with a burning rage that consumed every available piece of my soul. First, Victor takes Mark, and now my friends may lose their lives also? How am I supposed to continue living if that happens? My hands began to shake uncontrollably and all I could see were blurred images.
"Krista, can you hear me, what is it?" I could hear the faint sound of Sam's voice and felt my brother's hand on my arm. "Ow, damn!" He jerked away as I was finally brought back to consciousness from Shawn yelping in pain from the blazing touch of my rage infused skin.
And just like that, the fire was gone. As quickly as it had engulfed me, I was able to snuff it out.
"Dam
n Krista. What the Hell was that?" Shawn asked, cradling his sore hand.
I didn't answer him, but instead turned to Haniel who was studying me intently.
"Another side effect of my hybrid status?" I asked confused. He simply nodded without saying a word.
"That was bad ass," Shawn said, still shaking his hand.
"Sorry about that. What did it feel like?" I asked curiously.
"Like I had been burned by an iron, but look, you left no mark," he said, holding his hand up for me to inspect.
I stepped closer, reaching out to grab his palm. My feelings were hurt when he stepped back away from me. "I have it under control. I won't hurt you again," I said quietly.
"Sorry, it's just reflexes," he said, ruffling my hair. "What was all that about?" he asked, directing the question to Haniel.
"Krista's body is rapidly changing to accommodate her new gifts. Her emotions are now expressed differently than others."
"Great, you mean now every time I feel any kind of emotion it's going to be like a bomb going off or something?" I griped.
"Not exactly; however, your influence can be felt by a mere touch of your hand. Humans only have the ability to express the superficial effects of their emotions. Such as, crying when you are sad or shouting when you are angry. Your gift, Krista, is an ability to express your emotions as a tangible force, the effects of which can be measured physically. Judging by Shawn's reaction when touching you a moment ago, it is safe to assume you were angry. This is a virtue, Krista, not a punishment. When you realize the positive impact you are capable of with your gifts, you will fully understand your potential."
I nodded my head, understanding his point.
"When will I stop getting new gifts?" I asked, feeling like a freak.
"You are not receiving new gifts, only discovering what you have become."
"What do you mean what she has become?" Jaime asked, stepping up to stand beside me. "Isn't she a Guide like the rest of us?"
"No, she is no longer a Guide. She is now what The Light refers to as Ascended. She ascended from her role that she was created for into what she has become."
"So, I am a freak?" I asked in a strangled voice.
"Freak?" Haniel asked, rolling the foreign word off his tongue.
"Like a leper," I said, trying to paint a picture he could understand.
"A leper?" He asked in an alarmed voice. "No, Krista, you are not a freak or a leper. As I have stated before, you are a gift. As an Ascended, you are only one Heavenly Realm below an Archangel, which is why your powers are similar to mine."
"Well, I don't have the whole mind reading thing," I pointed out.
"That is incorrect. This is merely another gift you have not yet realized."
"You mean she'll be able to read everyone's minds?" Lynn questioned.
"When she chooses to fully accept what she has become, yes."
"That's so frikin' cool, Krista," Lynn said, looking at me like I had sprouted angel wings.
"Yeah, I guess," I said, not entirely sure how I felt about my new status. Reading minds sounded cool, but did I really want to know what everyone was thinking.
"It's totally awesome," Sam said, practically jumping with glee. "Too bad we're still not in school, we could have had some serious fun with that," she continued mischievously.
Her words made us all laugh and soon everyone else was throwing out their own suggestions, each one becoming more and more outrageous. I watched from the corner of my eye as Haniel quietly left the camp. I was tempted to call him back and ask him the one question that still lingered inside me, but I fought the urge, scared of what his answer would be.
Dinner was more quiet and subdued as we ate the most delicious stew I had ever tasted. It had been slow cooking over the fire the entire day. I wolfed down two bowls before my friends' had finished their first. Skipping breakfast and lunch had left me famished and the savory flavor and heartiness of the stew filled my grumbling stomach.
I watched my friends closely while I ate. I could feel their gambit of emotions over what they would be facing the following night. I used my new powers to smother out their erratic feelings and calm the mood. My interference did the trick and all the tension seemed to float away. Lynn smiled at me gratefully, knowing full well I was responsible for lifting the weight off their shoulders. I returned her smile, rising from my spot to rinse out my bowl with the water we had stowed in jugs and stored by the campfire.
Sam and Lynn joined me with a stack of bowls they had collected. We made quick work rinsing them out and drying them off.
"You girls ready?" Robert asked grabbing the clean stack of bowls from Lynn's hands.
"Yep, I'm bushed," Sam said, yawning exaggeratedly.
"Me too! I woke up way too early this morning," I said, stifling my own yawn. It had been decided that our group would sleep first, that way I could be on hand during the middle of the night in case Victor sent in another attack. My accelerated powers gave us a sense of security since they had proven to be highly useful.
I lifted the flap of the tent and crawled in first. After pulling my boots off, I slipped comfortably into my down sleeping bag. I was half asleep before my friends could get in their own sleeping bags. Sam mumbled a good night, but I was already halfway into a dream.
My eyes blinked in the bright light. I could tell I was dreaming from the familiar haze that surrounded me. Everything else about the dream was foreign though as I took in my surroundings. Over the last few months, my dreams had been filled with an oppressive darkness that filled me with dread and threatened to smother me. And before that, my dreams had always taken place at dusk with the soft sand of our beach beneath my toes and the smell of the sea air tantalizing my nose.
This dream was filled with bright sunlight and rough grass that tickled my feet as I walked. Looking down, I saw that I was wearing a long flowing white dress that wrapped around my ankles as the wind blew it back and forth. My hair whipped around my face making it hard to see. I reached back, dragging it over my shoulder and gathered it together in my hand, holding it into place. With my hair no longer a hindrance, I was able to take in my surroundings and realized I was standing atop a cliff that I could have sworn was the same one that held the hotel we had attended for prom. I turned in a slow circle, looking for the hotel, but it was as if it had been plucked off the cliff and placed elsewhere.
As I finished my slow observation around, my heart lurched when I saw a lone figure standing at the edge of the cliff in front of me. The broad shoulders and windswept brown hair was as familiar to me as my own hand. My heart began to beat erratically, leaving my pulse racing when he turned to me and smiled the crooked grin that I loved so much. I knew with every fiber of my being that I was dreaming, but none of that mattered as I raced across the short distance to get to him. He gathered me into his arms, swinging me off my feet. I sighed in pleasure as his scent filled my senses. I buried my head into his neck relishing in the heat of his skin.
"I've missed you," he said, startling me.
"I've missed you too," I said, tilting my head so I could gaze into his eyes. "I've missed the way you feel and smell," I added, burying my head into the crook of his shoulder.
"I've missed the way you feel too, but something seems off. You feel different somehow," he said, sounding puzzled.
"What?" I asked, confusion clouding my voice. "Why?"
"I don't know, it's like there's no connection between us," he said, taking a step back to study me.
I glanced behind him at the churning waves that beat relentlessly against the side of the cliff. His backward motion brought him inches from the cliff's edge.
I opened my mouth to warn him, but before I could get the words out, he took another small step backwards. In slow motion, I watched as he teetered on the edge, his arms flailing around trying to help recover his balance. I raced forward, reaching for his hand, but grasped only air as gravity pulled him backwards away from me. In an instant, he was gone, snatche
d from me once again. I stood at the edge of the cliff searching frantically for him, but to no avail. Tears burned a path down my cheeks and without hesitating, I stepped off the cliff. My scream tore its way out of me as I plunged toward the threatening rocks and waves below.
My scream filled the small confines of the tent, waking my friends. I placed a hand over my mouth to muffle the sobs that ripped through me. The heartbreak of being separated from Mark, even in a dream state, was devastating.
"Are you okay Sis?" Shawn asked, switching on the flashlight.
I nodded my head, afraid that if I opened my mouth to speak, the screams I was so desperately trying to hold back would rise to the surface.
"You sure?" He asked again, concerned. I nodded again, lying back down as I turned to face the nylon of the tent with tears running hot and fast down my cheeks. Shawn clicked the flashlight back off and the tent was once again immersed in darkness. I could hear the rustling of sleeping bags as the rest of my Band settled back down to get a few more hours of sleep.
Soon, the sound of soft snoring filled the confines of the small dome tent. Eventually, my tears ran out and I could feel them drying on my cheeks. My dream shouldn't have surprised me. I suspected when Haniel had made his announcement earlier that day about my new status of being Ascended, that Mark and I would never be the same. Even if the outcome of the battle my friends faced swung in my favor, my link with Mark was gone. For months, I had been trudging along, waiting for the moment that I could look into his eyes one last time and see if he really was Victor's puppet. All my hopes and dreams had clung to the slim chance that it all could be fixed. My new role now had changed all that. Even if I was able to Guide Mark back to our side, he would no longer belong to me. By surviving our separation, I had ruined any chance of us ever belonging to each other.
Chapter 9
My own chattering teeth woke me up before dawn. I pulled my sleeping bag up to my chin, trying to ward off the chill. Squinting in the dim light I could see Lynn and Sam snuggled tightly in their sleeping bags also, but Shawn and Robert were nowhere around.