Tonight, with this girl, may be just what I need to rid myself of my thoughts.
Following along, Jenn brings us up to the front of her building. She removes her arm from mine and moves to the door. Pushing a key into the lock, she turns the knob and enters the building. Moving closely behind her, I can smell the sweet scent of her perfume and shampoo. My senses are in hyper drive, and once again, I lose myself in her.
She reaches for my hand and pulls me through the hallway and up a set of stairs. Standing in front of her door, she turns to face me.
“Look, I’m not one to bring random guys into my home, but I’ve had one of the worst days of my life today and I need the distraction. There are no expectations once you walk through that door, and honestly, you can leave as soon as you feel sober. I just don’t want to be alone.”
A tear falls from her eye and my heart immediately feels for her.
“Believe me, Jenn, I know exactly how you feel. The reason I was in the bar was to forget about the day I had. No expectation is just fine with me.”
A small smile pulls from her face and a sparkle lights up her green eyes.
“Thank you,” she says before opening her door and leading us into the front room.
Standing in her apartment, I feel a sense of hope. If nothing more, I have this girl to lean on for the night. Being with someone who’s hurting as much as I am is just what I need. I don’t know what has happened to her to cause her sadness, but for right now it seems as though we both need one another.
Knowing that someone else needs me is one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced, but we’ve made it clear that there are no expectations. Having just been broken and feeling the knife go through my heart, I can’t let myself attach to anyone again. Jenn may need me right now, but tomorrow, she could also be the one to push me away. My walls are up and I’ll be damned if I ever let another woman break them down…I don’t want to feel pain like that again.
Chapter 12
One Week Later
Being back to work, I thought I’d be able to keep my mind off of her, but I can’t. All I’ve been doing is moving through the motions of my day to day routines. Thank god I know my job and how to do it well; otherwise, I could be fucked with the lack of attention I’ve been able to provide. I rarely speak to my coworkers, so my quiet demeanor is of no surprise to them; they actually prefer that I keep to myself. The less workplace drama the better…well, in my opinion, anyway.
It’s been a week since I walked out of the diner and set my sights on those beautiful green eyes for the last time. Every night, I try to lie in bed and think of how I could’ve done things differently. I would have done just about anything for her, but obviously the love I wanted to give wasn’t good enough.
I haven’t been able to sleep, eat, or think. Loss fills my soul and all I can do is want her that much more.
Unable to function, I’ve gone to see Dr. Jonestown twice this week. Talking through things with him isn’t as easy as I thought. Rather than discussing what happened between Etty and me, he’s been more concerned with digging deeper into my past. Something about finding the underlying concerns and the root of where my initial anxiety started. It’s helpful in some ways, just not where I need it the most. He’s prescribed me sleep aids to help ease myself into a restful sleep at night, but they haven’t been working—nothing has.
I’m devastated, heartbroken, and wishing there was a way out of this.
My shift is over in an hour, so I make my way out of the elevator and through the emergency room to see what’s going on. Sifting through the crowds of nurses and doctors, I hear a conversation about an accident that has three ambulances bringing in a critical patient and three others with minor injuries.
This should be interesting and may even make the rest of my shift go that much faster.
The bay doors open and the paramedics come rushing in with a female. Watching as they move her into an open room, I await my next transport. Another set of paramedics bring in a male. A swarm of doctors rush to his side as everyone begins to scream orders of emergency tests and medications. My eyes follow along as they move him into a room. I can hear the head nurse calling his name and my mouth drops to the ground.
“Daulton, can you hear us?” she asks over and over again.
Shaking my head, I try to figure out if I heard her right.
It can’t be…can it?
Moving closer to his room, I try to listen and see anything I can. I catch a glimpse of the man’s face—it’s Dault…Etty’s Dault. There are so many people swarming around him. Blood covers the gurney, his clothes, and the scrubs of the nurses.
As much as I hate the man lying in that room, pain shoots through me as regret pulses through my veins. I’d never wish harm on anyone; no one deserves to go through what he is right now.
A nurse comes barreling next to me, pushing me out of the way.
Taking a few steps back, I watch as group of paramedics come through the bay doors with another male patient. As they push him into a room, I recognize him as one of the guys that came by the house while I was with Etty.
While I try to place each of the patients that have come in, an ache pulls in my chest. What if Etty was in the car with them? Where is she now? My breaths become shallow and my mind becomes dizzy.
I couldn’t bear to know that she’s been hurt.
My head snaps up as the final patient is brought in through the doors. I immediately walk toward them to see it’s Steve. A guilty sense of relief hits me hard as I quickly walk away before he recognizes me.
I need to get out of here, fast.
Moving through the emergency room, I hit the button to the elevator, not so patiently waiting for the doors to open.
The intercom system through the emergency room goes off and my attention is pulled to the monotone voice.
Code Blue….Code Blue
The doors to the elevator open and I move inside the metal box, waiting to be taken to the next floor.
I can’t even begin to think about what has just happened downstairs. Rushing into the employee lounge, I grab my things and head down the side stairs to the emergency room.
As I walk through the ER, I can see that the doctors have left the room Dault was in and the bed is now empty. If he’s gone, what will Etty do? She’ll be torn apart. I haven’t a clue where she is, but I have to try and find her. If she was with them, maybe I’ll be lucky enough to catch her.
Looking around the waiting area, there’s no sign of her. Unsure if she’s even here, I walk around to the other entrance of the hospital and spot her walking out the front doors.
Running through the side door, I try to find her. She has to be out here, I just saw her leaving. Moving closer toward the entryway, I find her resting herself up against the concrete wall. Watching her from a distance, I can see that she’s closed her eyes. I can only imagine that she’s saying a silent prayer for Dault.
As much as I think I’ve fallen in love with her, I can’t imagine what she’s feeling if she loves him half as much as I love her. I can’t believe I’m the one that has to tell her this—she’s going to hate me—but there’s no other choice. I didn’t see any of the others in the ER; I hate to think that she’s here all alone. She has to know, and I feel it would be better coming from me than some random doctor. She’s going to be devastated…destroyed…but I will be here to pick her up and make her whole again.
“Etty,” I call.
As I run toward her, she opens her eyes and turns to face me.
“Christian, what are you going here?” she asks, moving away from the wall.
“I had to find you. My shift just ended and I heard what happened. I tried to see what was going on and wanted to tell you myself.”
With a look of shock on her face, she says, “Tell me what, Christian? How did you even know I was here or what happened?”
Breathing deeply, I shake my head, raising my hand for her to stop. Trying to catch my breath, I inhal
e through my nose and exhale by my mouth.
“Never mind all of that now; you need to know, Etty.”
“Know what?” she asks with a look of confusion and concern.
Extending my arms to her, I pull her into my body as I rub my hands up and down her back. As hard as she struggles to fight me, I can’t let her go. I need to be her rock, the support she’ll desperately need once she knows what’s just happened.
“Christian, let me go!” she screams.
Her loud cries catch me off guard. I need to calm her down before I hit her with this information about Dault.
“Etty, you have to listen to me, please let me in,” I beg.
“What the fuck are you talking about? Let me go.”
Damn it, this little thing is feisty and strong. I need to calm her the fuck down.
“Will you please stop fighting me and let me talk to you? Believe me; you’ll want to hear this coming from me.”
She stops struggling against me for a brief moment. As she looks up at me, I loosen my grasp.
“What are you talking about?” she asks, stepping away from me.
Her gaze is directed at me, her piercing green eyes set on mine.
“He’s gone, Etty, I’m so sorry but he’s gone.”
She takes a step back, her hand flying over her mouth as she lets out a gasp of air.
“Etty, come here; let me be here for you.”
The further she tries to step away from me, the closer I move to her.
“No, no this can’t be happening,” she cries.
My arms reach out for her as she falls to the ground.
Uncontrollable sobs take over her body as I sit on the concrete sidewalk. Here I am, trying to comfort the girl I thought was the one to pull me from my darkness, yet now I’m the one making sure she doesn’t fall into the darkest pit of despair.
Cursed Fate
The Cursed Series, #3
By t. h. snyder
Chapter 1
Tonight was just an average night, nothing to celebrate, yet that’s all I seem to do anymore. Celebrate with the bottle, just me, myself and I.
Having just gotten home from work, I reach for the bottle and walk outside to the back porch.
The sun has just set; the sky quickly turning dark as I light my cigarette. The bright flash of the flame shines brightly and pulls me into a trance.
Lost in thought, I start to feel the heat and quickly pull my arm back, I almost singed my eyebrows.
As I fall into the chair I take a long drag of my smoke and a swallow of the amber liquid. It’s my release, the only way to help myself feel numb and forget about everything I've done wrong in my life. I’m the bastard son, the worthless husband and the deadbeat that can do no right.
My life is falling apart.
Looking down I stare at the bottle. I know I should stop, pour it down the drain and toss it away for good…I just can’t.
The phone begins to ring in the house, yet I don’t have the will to get up and get it. Instead I slouch down in the chair and take in another gulp.
Having starred out into the darkness for who knows how long, the bottle is just about half way empty and I’m beginning to realize that I am in fact numb. My legs feel as though they've been torn from my body, my arms and hands just weightless objects.
A crashing sound pulls me from my trance. Looking down toward my feet I see my only escape in a puddle surrounded by pieces of broken glass.
The house phone begins to ring again; I guess I should see who it is. After all it’s been ringing nonstop all night, it could be important.
Getting up from the chair I stumble into the brick wall. Trying to regain my bearings, I push myself from the wall and walk through the sliding glass doors.
The ringing of the phone irritates me as I step closer.
“Hello,” I mutter into the receiver.
“Steve. Where the hell are you?”
“What, who’s this?” I ask scrunching my brow in confusion.
“Oh my god, you have to be kidding me. Steve, it’s your fucking wife. Are you drunk?”
“Huh, well I don’t know maybe a little.”
“You’re worthless Steven; you were supposed to pick me up from work. My car is in the garage…remember?”
My head is spinning, I can hear Jenn’s voice coming through the other end of the line, but it’s too hard to register what’s happening. Was I supposed to get her?
“Forget it Steve, I’m done.”
The call goes dead and I’m left standing in the middle of my kitchen.
Wasted…alone…worthless.
My body slowly starts to slide down the wall into a pile of drunken waste. Closing my eyes I allow myself to fall into the blackness that soothes me.
My eyes open to unfamiliar surroundings, my heart racing and pain taking over my body. I take in a deep breath and exhale, it was just a dream. A memory of the hell I put myself and my loved ones through for far too long.
Trying to calm myself, I begin to look around. The walls around me are bright white, there’s a tall curtain to my left and a beeping sound to my right.
“Where the fuck am I?”
Trying to sit up, I can barely move. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. My legs are stiff; my arms…wait my arms. Pain shoots from my fingertips up into my neck. Looking down I see two large casts attached to my body.
Holy shit what the hell is going on?
Closing my eyes I try to remember what’s taken place over the past few hours.
I went to dinner with the crew; Linc proposed to Jo and….fuck me.
No one saw it coming until it was too late.
Cliff’s voice rings through my ears, “watch out.” But it was too late. The truck smashed into the car, hitting the passenger’s side door.
Everything after that is a blur, that is until now.
I’m alone in my room, uncertain of where or how my friends are doing.
Dault was seated next to me in the front, while Cliff and Ashley were in the back.
Oh fuck, Ashley…please dear god tell me she’s okay. This woman just came into my life when I needed her the most, she has to be okay.
Cursed Heart Playlist
She Is – The Fray
Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop – Landon Pigg
Wicked Games – Phillip Phillips
Best I Ever Had – Gavin DeGraw
Monster – Imagine Dragons
Heart on Fire – Scars on 45
Iris – The Goo Goo Dolls
Nothing – The Script
Almost Lover – A Fine Frenzy
Superman – Joe Brooks
Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon
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I hope you’ve all enjoyed this story, stay tuned for what’s yet to co
me in 2014.
Coming Soon
Cursed Fate (Cursed, #3)
Cursed Soul, (Cursed, #4)
Fighter Series
Our Last Dance
Torn to Shredz
Mended Love
About the Author
t. h.snyder is my pen name.
I am a 34 year old single mother to two amazing kids.
I became an avid reader in spring of 2012 and since have read over 300 books.
My genre of interest ranges from Romance to thrilling Paranormal.
This is more than just a hobby for me, it’s a passion to read the words of great authors and bring life to their stories with my reviews and character castings.
I started writing my first novel in June of 2013 and I am anxious to see where this journey takes me!!
You can continue to show your support by liking and following me on facebook, twitter, and goodreads.
t. h. snyder, Cursed Heart (Cursed #2.5)
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