“Okay, so how do we end this conversation?” he asked her. He had been on the phone with her longer than he expected already.
“Maybe I don’t want to end it, just like you didn’t want me to leave your apartment tonight,” she snapped. “Or at least not until after you fucked me.”
She surely wasn’t letting Ant off the hook as easily as he wanted to be.
He’s not gonna get involved with me and just up and walk away like nothing happened, Diane was thinking.
Ant thought, What the hell have I gotten myself into now? I swear I need to stop hanging out with Tone! I don’t even feel like goin’ through this shit with this girl. It’s too late at night for this!
It was close to twelve midnight. Ant had to be up extra early to return the rental truck, and then go back to work at Paul’s.
He thought of a different angle and said, “Do you really have a boyfriend? Because if you do, you must not care too much about him. Why are you sitting here arguing with me?”
She said, “What if I don’t have a boyfriend anymore? And what if I still wanna be with you?”
Bingo! She’d wanted to express that all along. And Ant was shocked by it. Diane must have really liked him. But it was too damn bad, because he wasn’t in the market anymore.
“We can’t have it like that,” he told her. “Like you said, I already have somebody, and you already have somebody.”
“I mean, it’s not like you’re married or anything. And I’m not married. Or are you married?” she asked him.
“Okay. What if I was married?” he responded, trying anything to do away with her.
“But why would you say you’re married if you’re not?”
“Because I’m taken,” he snapped at her. “You know that already.”
“You wasn’t taken two hours ago!” she countered. “You was still available then. And how do I know? Because your ass was all up inside of me!”
Shit, this girl has issues! Ant thought to himself. She’s trippin’!
Years ago, he would have been smiling his behind off, thrilled with his good work. But on this particular night, he was tempted to scream at the top of his lungs, LOOK, GIRL, JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE AND LET ME GO BACK TO MY LADY! IT WAS A MISTAKE! OKAY?! NOW GO FIND YOURSELF SOMEBODY ELSE TO BE WITH!
Instead, he asked her, “So what do you want to do, come back over here and have me finish off the job? And then fuck you every day until you get tired of it and go out looking for somebody else. Is that what you want? Because I can’t give you much more than that.”
“Is that how you treat your girlfriend?” she countered. “I want what she gets.”
Ant lost his cool and shouted, “You can’t have what she gets! You don’t even know how to get it!”
Diane was really pushing him to his limit.
She said, “Well, fuck you too, then!” And it was weak. He could tell that she didn’t mean it. That changed everything.
Ant stopped himself and began to laugh, remembering how bad he was years ago. This girl thinks she can have her way with anything she wants, just because she’s pretty. But I got news for her ass. I’ve had pretty girls before. And it don’t mean jack to me!
“Now I guess you’re gonna go ahead and hang up on me, right? Just like I would have done when I was younger, because you can’t have your way,” he told her. “Well, let me tell you something. You may think that you’re grown and all that, but you still have a lot of maturing to do.”
“Yeah, whatever,” she responded to him. “We’ll see how much maturing I have to do the next time your girlfriend comes around,” she warned.
Ant stopped smiling and fell silent. Diane took that for what it meant. She was crossing dangerous ground. You don’t mess with the heart of a grown man. They were liable to do very bad things when stressed, especially over issues of the heart. They were liable to respond three times as badly as the average woman. Diane was only bluffing anyway. So she decided to tell him before he threatened to wring her damn neck until she could no longer breathe.
“I was only jokin’,” she said. “I wouldn’t even do that to you.”
“That didn’t sound like no damn joke to me,” he told her.
She said, “Good. So you think about that the next time you decide to take advantage of somebody.”
Trust me! Ant thought to himself. I already did.
When he finally hung up the phone, the bone he wanted to pick with Tone for giving Debi his phone number was buried, along with all of his depleted energy from one very long night. So he stretched out on his bed, spread-eagle, like Jesus on the cross, and proclaimed, “This is it. From now on, it’s just me and Sharron. And my dealings with all these other women out here is over with. Because it’s nothin’ out there but the same old shit. So from now on … I’m retired.”
Home was what too many marriage-age black men could rarely call their own. Because too many of them still lived in their mother’s home, or in temporary apartments, or cold, empty houses that they seldom paid a mortgage for, while claiming to be proud of it. “It ain’t much, but it’s mine,” too many of them bragged. However, Anthony “Tone” Wallace was learning that there was much more to be gained out of available property. He witnessed up close that many homes were filled with love, togetherness, warmth, tradition, appreciation, and real family values. And he was beginning to understand the treasure that those homes held, day by day, as he clocked in for work to clean carpets.
“What are you thinking about, man? Why are you so quiet tonight?” Ant asked him. Tone was daydreaming in Ant’s car. They were on their way to a warehouse furniture store to continue furnishing Tone’s new place.
Tone shook it off and said, “Nothin’ really. I’m just thinking about these big-ass houses that we clean every day.”
“What about’em?”
“I’m just saying, man, the people who live in these houses … they livin’ for real. We could put both of the houses we grew up in in theirs, and still have leftover rooms for visitors. Some of these places got like thirty rooms. I walk around in there and get lost and shit,” he exaggerated.
Ant laughed and said, “That don’t mean they livin’ all that better than we are. Some of those rich folks are as miserable as people who live in homeless shelters.”
Tone frowned and said, “That’s bullshit, man. Who do you know that wouldn’t wanna live in a big-ass house?”
“I’m not saying that most people wouldn’t want to live in one. I’m just saying that it ain’t a perfect situation no matter how big or how nice the place may look.”
“So if you and Sharron got a place, would you want some small-ass apartment, or a plush-ass crib where your kids could run around and get lost in it?”
Ant shook his head and grinned. Tone failed to get his point, so he tried explaining again.
“What I’m saying is that a good, well-kept house, is a good, well-kept house, no matter how small it may seem compared to some of them houses out Richmond Heights or Brentwood or Ladue.”
Tone changed the subject. “Yeah, anyway. So when did you say you was goin’ out to Memphis with Sharron again?”
“Next week.”
He smiled and said, “You got her on the pill now, hunh?”
“It wasn’t my decision. She decided that on her own,” Ant answered him.
“And what would you do if she was pregnant?”
Ant looked straight ahead and responded, “I would be a daddy. Just like I told her. I’m raising my kids. Sharron would be a good mother anyway.” And a good wife, too, he thought.
Tone watched him to see if his expression would change. Once he saw it wouldn’t, he said, “I guess you can’t deny it no more. She got’chu.”
Ant looked over at his partner and smiled. “She’s the one.”
“She gettin’ y’all free or discounted plane tickets to Memphis?” Tone asked. She did work at the airport.
Ant said, “Naw.”
“Yall driving or catching th
e train?”
“She want us to catch the bus.”
Tone looked at him and frowned. “The bus? What she want to catch the bus for? It’s cheaper?”
“Naw, she just said that ah … it’ll be nice to take a good, long bus ride together.”
Ant felt silly about it and started laughing.
Tone smiled at him. He was far too impatient for a long bus ride anywhere. He joked, “Come this winter, she gon’ have you taking nature hikes with her.”
“And have me out in the woods in a damn hut, hunh?” Ant joked back to him.
“I’m serious, man,” Tone warned him.
Ant thought about his partner’s warning. And why not go on a nature hike? It was something different. But he would never tell Tone that, so he smiled it off as they went on about their business. Sharron was starting to be a lot more fun than Tone anyway. Ant would not express that to his partner either.
Memphis, Tennessee, wasn’t exactly a nature hike, but it sure felt uplifting. Imagine, feeling perfectly at home in another place with someone special. If the connection is right, everything becomes enjoyable. Being in the right place with the wrong person can be close to torture. As well as being in the perfect place alone. You feel like you wasted the experience, wishing you could share it again with someone you enjoyed, like Ant enjoyed Sharron.
“So, you and Tone were laughing at my idea to catch the bus?” Sharron asked. They were headed south on their bus at ten o’clock on a Thursday morning. Who knows what they’ll talk about on a four-hour bus ride.
Ant had gotten used to telling Sharron things. He felt the comfort with her that a man should feel with his woman.
“I could have driven us down here if you wanted to, with only one stop to eat and to use the bathroom,” he told her.
“But I didn’t want to drive this time. We’ll have plenty of times to drive. We’re always in your car.”
“Are you getting tired of my car?”
“No. I just wanted to catch the bus and relax with you without you having to worry about the road and stuff, that’s all. Does that make any sense to you?”
Ant nodded, knowing better. “So what you really wanted was my undivided attention.”
She leaned into him in his seat by the left window and said, “Exactly.”
“So your father’s supposed to pick us up from the bus stop?”
“Yeah.”
“And he’s gonna let you use his car so we can hit Memphis?”
Sharron grinned. “Yup. I’ll get to drive you around for a change.”
“I wouldn’t know where I was going in Memphis anyway,” he told her with a chuckle. “Do they still like Anfernee Hardaway in Memphis?” he asked, referring to the Orlando Magic basketball star out of Memphis State University.
“Of course we do.”
“Oh, so it’s a we situation. You like him, too?”
“Why wouldn’t I? I mean, I’m no big basketball fan or anything, but why wouldn’t I like somebody who came from Memphis and did something with his life? That’s what I hope to do. Don’t you like ah, what’s his name from St. Louis?” she said, trying to remember the basketball star’s name.
“Larry Hughes,” Ant filled in.
Sharron sucked her teeth and said, “I was just about to say that.”
“Sure you were,” he teased her.
“So what did you tell your father about me?” he asked curiously. He knew she told her father something.
“I told him that you were a mechanic, and he started thinking that you were an old man or something.”
Ant laughed and said, “Then what?” There had to be more than that. She was probably just getting started.
“Well, I told him that we would stay at a hotel, and he told me he didn’t want me to do that, and that you could sleep on the fold-out couch in the family room.”
Ant looked at her and grimaced. “I gotta sleep on the couch?”
“Not if you don’t want to. I didn’t tell my father that we were definitely staying there.”
“How would he feel if we didn’t stay?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. It depends on how much he likes you,” she commented with a grin.
Ant smiled back at her and said, “What if he doesn’t like me?”
“Then you’ll be sleeping at the hotel by yourself,” she joked.
Ant chuckled and shook his head. It was all a big setup. “And I don’t even have my damn car to drive back home,” he said out loud.
Sharron looked at him in shock. “You would leave me here?” she asked.
“Leave you here? This is your home. Would you leave me at the hotel by myself?” he countered.
“I was only joking about that, Anthony.”
“Well, I was only joking too.”
She leaned away from him and pouted, “No you weren’t. You would leave me. Just like a guy.”
“What else am I supposed to do if your father don’t like me?” he questioned.
“Fight for your woman,” Sharron snapped. “You tell him, ‘I know you may not like me, sir, but I care a lot about your daughter, and I’m gonna stand right by her regardless of how you feel about me!’”
“Would you say that to my mother?” Ant challenged.
Sharron thought about it, caught off guard. “If I had to, I would.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I would though,” she argued.
“You were scared to even meet my mother,” he reminded her.
“It wasn’t that I was scared, I just wasn’t expecting it. You had time to prepare for meeting my father. You didn’t tell me that we were going to see your mother until we were five minutes away.”
Ant reflected on Sharron’s birthday date and laughed.
“And it wasn’t funny either,” she pouted again.
He looked out of the window as they traveled south and yawned. He had been up late with last-minute packing for their weekend trip, Thursday through Sunday. Sharron had been up late herself, talking to Celena about the visit home with her man, while wondering how her father would receive him. Ant thought about that too. And before they knew it, they had both fallen asleep on the bus and were just ten minutes away from downtown Memphis when they awoke.
“Mmmph, we slept for all that time,” Sharron stretched out and grumbled.
“It was better than talking the whole way,” Ant teased.
Sharron frowned at him and nudged his shoulder. It had been a peaceful bus ride with no chatty travelers or whining babies on board.
“So this is Memphis,” Ant commented. They crossed the Mississippi River and rode into downtown. There was no St. Louis Arch, dome stadium, or as many densely structured hotels and office buildings like there were in St. Louis, but there was an interesting looking pyramid there.
“What is that?”
“That’s The Pyramid center,” Sharron said. “They have concerts and things there. Like if Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey comes to town. Memphis State plays their big games there, too.”
He smiled and joked, “What about the country singers? I thought Memphis, Tennessee, was a country music lovin’ town.”
Sharron sighed and said, “Here we go with that. I get enough of that from Celena, okay. I don’t need you doin’ it.”
“I’m just jokin’.”
“That’s the same thing that she says.”
When they reached the bus station, Ant noticed the lost brown faces of several black men who were wandering the downtown streets.
“They have a lot of jobless people down here?” he asked Sharron.
“You know it,” she answered. “People who are just happy to get up for another day. But that’s not everybody” she told him. She didn’t want him stereotyping her hometown.
“Of course it’s not everybody. I’m just sayin’,” he commented as he continued to watch the Memphis streets.
Sharron left the subject alone. She had left home to make sure that she was still motivated t
o move on with her life, and yet, after her mother died, she ended up lacking motivation anyway. But in September, she was definitely going back to school to finish what she had started, earning a college degree and becoming a professional.
They pulled in at the bus terminal and prepared to grab their luggage.
“There’s my daddy. Right on time,” Sharron said, pointing him out.
Ant looked and spotted a tall black man who was just beginning to gray around the edges of his short, squared afro. Despite his size, he didn’t look intimidating at all. He had a soft, compassionate face.
“Hey, baby!” he shouted to his daughter. He greeted her with a hug.
“Hey, Daddy. This is Anthony,” Sharron told him, stepping aside for her father to greet her man.
“How are you doing, young man?” Mr. Francis asked with his hand extended.
“I’m doing fine. I’m a little tired, but I guess I’ll snap out of that soon,” Ant commented.
Mr. Francis nodded. “Yeah, you’ll snap out of that. The bus ride did it to you.”
“Where’s the car, Dad?” Sharron broke in and asked. She was eager to get her luggage in. As with most women, she had twice as many bags as Ant had packed.
“I had to park it around the corner. Let me take that from you,” her father said, going for her bags. Ant already had her largest bag in hand.
Sharron handed her two smaller bags to her father and followed him to his car with Ant. Her father drove a dark blue Oldsmobile that was fairly new.
He looked at Ant and said, “My daughter tells me that you’re an auto mechanic.”
Ant nodded. “That’s what I do,” he responded to him.
Mr. Francis nodded while they loaded the trunk.
“I guess you’ll always be employed with that profession,” he commented.
“Or at least until we start driving spacemobiles,” Ant joked.
He smiled and said, “We got a long time before that happens.”
They walked back to the front end of the car where he told Ant to ride up front.
“What if he doesn’t want to ride up front, Daddy?” Sharron said, instigating. She was looking forward to riding up front herself.
“Well, then, he’ll speak his own mind,” her father answered.