“I’ll bring the chips and dip. You supply the beer.”
“Very funny,” he said dryly just as Mrs. Bennett yelled for me to join her in the kitchen.
“Let’s have some girl talk. It’s been awhile since there’s been another girl in the house.”
“You poor soul.” Mr. Bennett grabbed me and gave me a bear hug. “She’s been preparing for this moment since she knew you were coming. It could be a very long night, so I hope you got some rest on the plane.”
I couldn’t bear to tell him that I was tired and only wanted to crawl in bed. I hadn’t slept since the night before, and even then I’d spent much of the night awake. A bad dream woke me up, and I never fell back to sleep.
Mr. Bennett gently squeezed my shoulders and pushed me into the kitchen as I braced myself for what was going to be hours of listening to Mrs. Bennett have “girl talk.”
I took my usual seat at the kitchen table as music played from the laptop sitting on the kitchen counter.
“Bon Jovi?” They were her favorite.
“Of course. Riley taught me how to download music and videos from iTunes, and I’m telling you, Attie, I’ve spent a fortune on all kinds of old music. I have over four hundred songs on that thing.”
“That’s impressive.” I gave an approving nod. “I may need to check it out and download some songs onto my Shuffle.”
“You should. And I hate to brag, but I’m totally hip.”
“Hip?”
“Oh yeah, I’ve got a lot of newer stuff on there too. Justin Timberlake, Fergie, all kinds of stuff. Some of it’s a little racy, but I pretend I don’t notice.”
“Sounds good. You’re definitely hip,” I confirmed sarcastically.
“Riley and some of his friends caught me in here dancing the other day while I was doing the dishes. I thought he was gonna die of embarrassment, but I think I move pretty well for my age. I mean, I was a cheerleader in my heyday, but Riley said he thought I might blow out a hip or something.”
“He clearly underestimates your talent.”
“You always did speak the truth, Attie. I’m gonna love having you home.”
“So I guess teaching at a high school means you get to hear all kinds of new music.”
“Oh yeah. The girls make sure I’m up-to-date. It helps me stay young. I’m not the old fuddy duddy type.”
“No, you definitely aren’t that.”
I glanced around the red kitchen as she talked about her favorite students. She’d always been a collector, so knickknacks filled every available space. Her decorating style perfectly matched her personality—busy. Handmade gifts from Riley, Melody, and years of students littered shelves that she’d hung randomly on the walls, and trophies of all sizes, shapes, and types filled the china cabinet. Funny, I didn’t actually see china.
While looking around the room, I noticed for the first time that behind every item she displayed there was a story. These weren’t just knickknacks, they were memories. The items kept her attached to her past and now, in many ways, attached to Melody.
Her continued flurry of words caught my attention, and although I wished we would simply get it over with and acknowledge the extremely large elephant in the room, we continued to make small talk as she unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. I wondered how long it would be before someone in the house mentioned the name “Melody.”
Mrs. Bennett began fanning herself in an effort to cool down. “So, Attie Reed, let’s get caught up on your life.”
Riley suddenly appeared and entered the kitchen, but she held out a hand and shushed him away. “We’re having girl talk in here. You get on out.”
He ignored her and continued on his path. “I need a drink.”
“Drink your spit,” she said, giving him a gentle shove back toward the living room. “You can get a drink later.”
“Mom, seriously, I just need a drink, and then I’ll leave you two alone.”
“Fine,” she said, throwing her hands onto her hips. “You’ve got fifteen seconds.”
He rolled his eyes for the second time since I’d arrived and grabbed a water out of the fridge before walking back out of the room in a huff.
Mrs. Bennett turned up the music and then turned to face me. “So do you have a boyfriend?”
She wasn’t wasting any time trying to get to the good stuff, and I was immediately embarrassed.
To avoid her gaze, I reached for an oatmeal cookie from the plate in front of me. “No, I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“You’re kidding? No boyfriend?”
“I don’t mind really. Guys just don’t seem to pay me any attention.”
I noticed Riley’s head snap in our direction, and by the look on his face, he didn’t seem surprised by my admission. Luckily, he quickly lost interest and turned his attention back to the TV.
“I’ve always known I wasn’t one of the pretty girls. I think boys see me more as buddy material. You know, like someone they want to hang out with but don’t necessarily want to make out with. I’m beginning to believe that’s my lot in life, every guy’s best buddy.”
Mrs. Bennett’s head shook so violently from side to side that I was surprised it didn’t fall right off. “I don’t believe a word of that, Attie. You’re gorgeous; you always have been. I bet the boys are just intimidated by you. You’re self-confident, and you know what you want. That scares boys off.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m self-confident. Clueless maybe, but definitely not self-confident. And anyway, you know what boys want, and I don’t have them.”
Her eyes grew wide in anticipation. “What do boys want?”
“You know … they want girls who have big boobs, and I don’t have those.”
A clammer rose from the living room, and I realized that Riley’s chair had fallen over and he was sprawled onto the floor.
“Stupid chair,” he said, getting up off the floor, giving it a kick, and moving to the couch.
Mrs. Bennett laughed. “Oh, Attie, if there’s one thing boys want more than big boobs, it’s a challenge. Stand your ground, hold on to your values, and make ‘em wait. You do that and you’ll have boys falling all over you.”
“That’s what Mom always said. ‘Boys like a challenge.’ But I don’t think I’m trying to be a challenge as much as that I just am one. By nature I’m a challenge. Mom always said I was a handful and it would take a very special boy to put up with me.”
“She said that?”
“Well, that and that if anyone ever kidnapped me they’d let me go after only a few hours. I guess she figured I’d drive them crazy with all my talking.”
“She always did have a sense of humor. You’ll find a special boy one day, and he won’t care that you don’t have huge boobs, although yours are perfect. Not too much and not too little. Just right.”
I grabbed another cookie while sneaking a look at my chest. Mrs. Bennett was wrong; they were too small and far from perfect.
“Riley, get on in here and open this jar for me,” she screamed.
“Mom, I’m watching TV.”
“Don’t start with me,” she threatened.
I noticed him shiver at the sound of her voice and remembered he’d once said her voice was so shrill it was like the sound of fingernails dragging down a chalkboard. “Get your butt in here right now before I call your dad in here to make you do it.”
He threw himself off of the sofa, stomped into the kitchen, and opened the jar before slamming it onto the counter and starting to walk back out.
“Wait just a minute, mister. I’m not finished with you yet.”
He threw an angry glare my direction, which caused me to pull my legs up to my chest in defense.
“Where do you think you’re goi
ng?” his mom asked.
If there’s one thing she excelled at, it was intruding in other people’s lives. Nothing was sacred or secret as long as she was around. Knowing other people’s business was what she lived for.
“Answer me, Riley. Where are you going?”
He removed his stare from me and transferred it to his mother. “I’m goin’ for a walk for cryin’ out loud,” he snapped.
“To where?”
“What is this, an interrogation?”
“Don’t get smart with me, Riley Bennett.”
“Probly Joshua’s.”
“Well, why don’t you invite Attie to go along? She’s been cooped up in airplanes all day, and I’m sure Joshua would love to meet her.”
She wasn’t merely making a suggestion; she was pretty much giving him an order, and we both knew there would be hell to pay if he didn’t comply.
“Fine,” he said rudely. “Wanna come, Attie?”
“You go ahead,” I replied. “I wouldn’t want to intrude. I think I’m doing that enough already.”
“Riley!” she yelled.
He glanced back at me, and his eyes practically begged me to let him off the hook.
“It’s okay, Mrs. Bennett; I’ve got to unpack anyway.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
As I got up and walked toward him, I realized just how tall he was. The top of my head barely reached his shoulders, and I was instantly aware that if he wanted to he could break me into a million pieces in a matter of seconds.
I reached up and gave him a pat on the head. “It’s all right, Riley; I’m a big girl. If I want to go for a walk, I can go by myself.”
And with that, I skipped up the stairs toward my room.
Riley Bennett had tried to get the best of me and failed miserably. I’d won round one.
chapter 3
I needed some serious alone time, so I threw my hair into a ponytail and washed my face. The Bennetts kept their house colder than I was accustomed to, so I threw on some sweats in an effort to ward off the chills and made my way toward my new space.
Nothing had changed in Melody’s room. One summer while I visited we painted the walls hot pink and all the trim and furniture black. Her mother hated the idea but allowed us do it anyway. Melody was proud of the room once we finished it, and now here I was taking it over as my own for the summer. If I’d known that I would be staying here, I would have encouraged her to use different colors.
Not even the bedspread had changed.
My chest tightened, I was beginning to get short of breath, and my heart raced.
I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t sleep in her bed—not tonight.
“You’re all right. I’m right here,” a gentle voice soothed.
“So you followed me all the way to Oklahoma?”
“Of course.”
My eyes searched until they found Jesus sitting on Melody’s bed. Just as he’d been the first time I saw him standing in my hospital room, he wore blue jeans, a simple t-shirt, and his feet were bare.
“Rough day?” he asked rhetorically. Of course, he always knew how I felt.
“Not the best, but not the worst.”
He smiled at me. “What’s on your mind?”
“As if you don’t already know.”
I sat in silence for several moments as he waited patiently for me to continue.
“I don’t know if I can do this tonight. Sleep in Melody’s bed, I mean. Just being in this room makes me miserable. It’s all very painful. Literally and physically painful.”
My heart ached, and my eyes filled with tears.
“I can understand that. Melody was a special friend. I know how well you fit together, how much you enjoyed each other.”
I was angry and confused. “Why did you give her to us only to take her away?”
“Would you rather you never knew her?”
I shook my head. “Of course not.”
“It’s complicated,” he whispered.
My mood was turning somber. I knew that my mind would never grasp how or why anything happened, let alone the deaths of innocent people, but I still wanted answers.
“Attie, you’ll never understand why my Father and I allow the things we do. You just have to remember that all things work together for good.”
“Good? The death of innocent people?” My mind couldn’t even reconcile the thought.
“Not that, no. But out of your walk through that pain, good will come. You’re stronger now, more compassionate, and you value human life more than most people your age. Those are all good things.”
“Couldn’t you teach those things another way?”
“Yes.” He was now sitting next to me on the floor. “You’ve done well, Attie. You’ve done most everything I’ve asked of you. You will see the good one day, I promise.”
“I guess I’ll just have to trust you on that?”
“Yes. I never said this journey would be easy; I just asked you to join me on it.”
“Before agreeing I guess I should have clarified further,” I teased.
“Perhaps.” A sweet smiled formed on his face as we sat next to each other under the window. “You’re going to make it, Attie. You and me together, just as we’ve always been. You can do this.”
“How am I going to do this is the question.”
A slight smile filled his face, and his head shook as a small laugh escaped his lips.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“You remind me of Philip.”
“Philip who?”
“One of my original disciples. He was so full of faith, but he always asked for explanations. He practically wore me out with the questions. It’s one of the things I loved the most about him. He had a curious mind and so do you. You want answers—to everything.”
“Do you think you would have chosen me as a disciple?”
“Attie, a disciple is someone who simply chooses to follow me. You’ve made that choice. I asked you to follow me, and here you are, one of my chosen. My disciple.”
His voice was so gentle and relaxing that I wished I could have climbed into his lap and have his arms wrap around me. Sitting on my mother’s lap always brought me more comfort than her words alone could, and for almost a year I missed the security that a loving touch provided.
Changing the music on my iPod to Chris Tomlin, I closed my eyes and pictured myself in my mother’s lap as we were both wrapped in our heavenly Father’s arms.
Just as I drifted off to sleep, something latched onto my toe, and out of instinct, I kicked my foot in an effort to remove it and ended up coming into contact with something solid.
Throwing open my eyes, I realized that it had been Riley, and he was laid out on the floor in front of me.
“Riley!” I threw my iPod onto the bed and ran to his side. “I’m so sorry.”
“You kicked me in the face,” he said in a daze.
“Well, you startled me. Good grief, you snuck up on me.”
“Did not, I called your name three freakin’ times. Seriously, do you have to be so violent?”
“Well, I said I was sorry.”
“Holy moly, are you in karate or something? That kick was hard.” He rubbed his chin and grimaced. “What, are you like a third degree black belt or something?”
Mr. Bennett must have heard my screams because he came barreling up the stairs and stopped in the hallway. He probably thought we were killing each other.
“What’s going on in here?” he asked.
“She kicked me in the face.”
“It was an accident. He snuck up on me.”
“I did not. I was sent up here to check on you.
”
Mr. Bennett stood just outside the doorway, never entering the room. “Is he bleeding?”
“All of my injuries are internal,” Riley accused sarcastically. “Call the paramedics.”
“Let me look at it,” I said.
Riley sat up, so I placed my hands on his face and smiled just before I threw his head back with an intentional jolt.
“Ow. Seriously, Charlie, settle down already.”
“No, sir, he isn’t bleeding.”
“Dad, tell her to leave me alone.”
I slapped him on the forehead before shoving him back onto the ground. “Give me a break, you big baby.”
His dad stood back and laughed. “You could’ve given him a scar to complement the other one you gave him.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“That scar on Riley’s chin. You hit him with a baseball bat when you were six.”
I watched Riley as the tips of his fingers clumsily felt around for the scar until he found the slight indention just below his chin. “You did this?”
“Good grief, I was six. Cut me some slack.” A quiet giggle escaped me, but I regained my composure just before slapping him on the forehead again and making my way to my spot under the window.
“For such a little thing, you’ve always packed quite a punch, Attiline. And you’ve gotta toughen up, Riley; you’re getting your butt kicked by a girl. Maybe Attiline can teach you a thing or two.”
Little by little, Mr. Bennett was ripping out Riley’s self-esteem, throwing it on the ground, and stomping on it. I have to admit it was fabulous to watch, but I ended up having to tuck my head behind my knees to hide my laughter.
“Thanks a lot, Dad. I appreciate your concern.”
“No problem, son. All right, Attiline, you gonna be okay tonight?”
“Yes, sir.”
“If you need anything just make Riley get it for you.”
“I’ll be fine, thank you.” I didn’t bother to look up. “I think he’s had quite enough of me for one day.”
“No doubt,” Riley huffed.