She winked at me and squeezed my hand again.
I teasingly scowled at her. “And that’s a good thing?”
“Yes, Attie, sometimes crying is a good thing. A very good thing.”
Pastor Rick finished his sermon and told everyone they were about to get a special treat and then passed the microphone on to Joshua.
“A year ago Attie Reed was involved in a tragic accident that killed her mother and best friend. Someone nobody could ever identify magically pulled her from the car. Although she was critically injured, she lived. Attie stayed in a hospital for over two months, and she was left to heal and grieve alone. She remembers having a dream while she was unconscious. Attie was walking with Jesus, and he had invited her to join him on a journey. Lucky for all of us, she agreed. After she woke up, she could hear the Lord speaking to her. He was praying with her, comforting her, and encouraging her to stay faithful. ‘You’re not alone, Attie,’ Jesus would tell her. ‘I’m here.’
“Today, Attie is going to share with you a love song that she sings to the Lord. It is a song by Meredith Andrews called ‘You’re Not Alone.’
“Attie?” He turned to me as I walked on stage. Handing me the microphone, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and then left me alone on stage.
The room was hushed, and I didn’t look up to see the audience. This song was to the Lord. My Lord, who had never left my side. The audience was being allowed to witness my song of gratitude.
I heard the piano begin, and I brought the microphone to my mouth. Looking down, I began to sing.
Standing in the doorway of the church, I watched as people left, many still crying. Some hugged me or told me that the song was beautiful. I wasn’t enjoying all the compliments, but I welcomed their appreciation just the same. All of my friends were huddled over by the youth building fooling around and enjoying each other’s company.
I’d started to go join them when out of the corner of my eye I saw Jesus waiting for me back inside the sanctuary. I went to join him.
As I walked up behind him, he spoke softly, “That was beautiful.”
“It was for you. I meant every word.”
“I know you did. Thank you.”
He gave me a half bow.
“Why you’re welcome.” I returned a slight curtsey. “Everything I sang was true. You’ve never left me. I know that.”
“I never will.”
“I know that too.” We were silent for a few moments before I spoke again. “I wouldn’t have survived without you.”
“That’s the point.”
“Yes, I guess coming to that realization really is the point.”
I was proud of myself for figuring it out.
“Attie, I have loved you your whole life. Even before you were born, I loved you. That will never change.”
He patted the altar next to him, inviting me to join him.
I sat down next to him. “I know.”
“Nobody will ever love you like I do. My love is unconditional, perfect. My love will never disappoint you.”
He spoke so softly, and I strained to hear him.
“Thank you, Lord. Thank you for that.”
“There’s nothing that you did to earn my love, and there’s nothing you can do to lose it.”
I turned to look at him, “This isn’t you dumping me, is it?” I asked sarcastically. “The whole ‘you’re a great girl but’ routine?”
He laughed. “Nope. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank God.” I realized what I’d said and rolled my eyes. “I mean, thank you … both of you, well all of you. You know what I mean.”
He smiled and nudged my shoulder with his. “To end this relationship you would have to walk away—but even then I’d find you.”
“The shepherd and his sheep?”
“I won’t lose one. Not one.”
We sat in silence for several minutes before he spoke again. “What was it about that song that made you choose it?”
“It perfectly explained our time together since the accident. The story of hearing your voice tell me I wasn’t alone, that you were there with me. That you’d loved me all my life and always would.”
“Yes, it perfectly describes all of that.” He paused again. “Why else do you think you chose that particular song over any other? Many, many songs could tell me the same thing.”
“I don’t understand. What are you asking me?”
“Attie, if I only wanted you to have a relationship with me, I’d have you become a hermit. You need people or a person in your life. A person you can share experiences with. A person who can show you to a small degree what I feel for you.”
I was very confused. “Okay?”
“Think of the song, Attie.” He softly sang the words: “I searched for love, when the night came and it closed in … it was the sweetest voice that called my name, saying … ”
I pictured Riley holding me that second night in the Bennett home. I’d woken up from a nightmare. I could hear his voice; I could hear his words: “You’re not alone. I’m here.”
My body shook.
Jesus continued, “My love, I’ve never left your side. I have seen you through the darkest night.”
Pictures of Riley and me sleeping on the floor in our rooms, he was protecting me. I felt safe with him.
“And I’m the one who’s loved you all your life.”
It was as if hundreds of childhood memories with Riley flooded into my mind.
“All your life,” Jesus ended.
I was stunned. I turned to Jesus and stared at him in disbelief. As my heart pounded through my chest, I whispered, “Riley?”
Jesus smiled. “Your Mr. Darcy.” He winked.
“Riley?”
I was motionless until I heard it, that sweet voice.
“Charlie?”
My eyes turned to find the person who was saying my name.
“Riley,” I whispered and then nodded.
It was Riley. He was peeking through the sanctuary door with a large grin on his face.
“First day of school tomorrow, Charlie. How about one last adventure before reality hits?”
I looked at Jesus. “Will you come with me?”
“I wouldn’t miss it. Especially with it being a whole new adventure and all.”
I turned back to Riley.
“Wanna join me on a journey?” he asked with a wink.
I smiled as I got up to go to him.
“Absolutely.”
Stefne Miller, Salvaged: A Love Story
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