The Lathrops and Gardiners were to stay until the ninth of January. Richard, unfortunately, was required to return to his regiment in Town on the third. Madame du Loire delivered Lizzy’s ball gown on the second, performing the final fitting personally. The women were all twittery and gushy, casting numerous sly glances Darcy’s way, much to his embarrassment but escalating excitement.
Lizzy had precious few private moments to glance through the book she had taken from Darcy’s cabinet and no opportunity to discuss his letter, personal memoirs, or the books with him until the morning of the twenty-eighth. Between the whirlwind of activities and host duties and Darcy’s indisposition the day after Christmas, they had secured no private time at all. This day she decided, with deliberate planning, to wake her husband early and monopolize the entire morning. Such was her anticipation that she slept poorly, yet undeterred and with bounding heart, she slipped out of bed at the crack of dawn to freshen up and garb herself in Darcy’s favorite gauzy nightgown. She returned hastily. Darcy slept supine with one arm across her empty pillow as if reaching for her. He was lulled into partial awareness by the pleasurable sensation of his wife nuzzling and kissing his neck while caressing his chest.
“Hmmm…” He sighed, impulsively hugging her tightly and lacing his fingers through her cascading hair. Far more asleep than awake, he nonetheless sought her lips and kissed her lazily and then with increasing ardor as he roused further in response to her insistence. Once she sensed he was completely awake, she pulled away from his iron grip, not an easy task, and sat up on her knees.
“Elizabeth,” he pleaded, voice hoarse from sleep and desire, “please…”
She halted his words with a finger to his lips. It was then that he fully noted her attire and his grin spread. “Happy anniversary, my darling husband,” she said in a throaty whisper while lightly running her fingers over his face. “Did you forget, my love, that today marks one month of our wedded bliss?”
“No, beloved. I simply intended to allow you to sleep longer before I gave you your gift,” he replied, reaching up and firmly tugging on one of the ties to her gown.
“Would you prefer to resume your slumber then? Or can I interest you in an alternate bedroom activity?”
“I shall assume those are rhetorical questions requiring no answer.” Another tie released.
“Very well then.” She reached across his body, deliberately, for the book resting on his bed stand. Somehow the third tie came loose.
“Ha!” he laughed harshly when he saw the book. “How long have you had that?”
She primly pursed her lips and lifted her chin, “Let us just say that you would have lost your bet with Mr. Vernor, had you made it.” He continued to chuckle as another tie was undone and she slapped his hand. “Focus, sir.”
“I am,” he mumbled, but she ignored him.
Lizzy opened the book, trying unsuccessfully not to blush. “Page five is promising, as is thirteen. However, twenty intrigues me. Of course we could attempt all three.” She said the last in a whisper, cheeks flushed, and eyes downcast.
Darcy watched her with amusement and overwhelming love. “You promised not to incapacitate me, love. I am only human.”
She smiled and met his twinkling eyes. “I made no such promise. You merely asked me to pity your advanced age and presumed I would acquiesce. Besides, I have the utmost faith in your stamina and capabilities.”
“Ah, a challenge!” he declared, briskly snatching the book from her hands. “The gauntlet has been thrown! Let me see, page five… Hmmm, yes it is doable.” He slyly glanced at her bright face, turning the book to the left and studying it intently. Lizzy giggled and lay at his side with her head on his shoulder so she could see the pages. He flipped to page thirteen and employed a clinical tone, “Interesting, very interesting. Excellent choice Mrs. Darcy, if you deem yourself adequately flexible. Your taste is impeccable.” She hid her rosy face in his upper arm, shaking with mirth. “Now, page twenty. Intriguing indeed! Allow me a moment to peruse the text to comprehend the finer nuances…”
Suddenly the book was jerked from his grip, tossed onto the floor and Lizzy’s lips descended onto his forcefully. He rolled her to the side clasping her tightly, one hand cupping her face. “Elizabeth,” he breathed, “I love you wholeheartedly. Happy anniversary, beloved.” He released the last tie to her gown and, with a happy smile, peeled the silky fabric away from one creamy shoulder, kissing the exposed flesh softly and murmuring “page five” before claiming her mouth. He stroked her arm with feather touches, no urgency in his actions as of yet.
They lay facing each other for a long while, kissing and caressing, legs entwined, allowing their passion to rise gradually. Lizzy’s suggestions, all intoxicating to Darcy, would require tremendous control on his part and the truth was that he did not think he could manage all three positions in one lovemaking session. He appreciated his wife’s confidence in his sexual prowess, but he knew his own limits. He adored her innocent enthusiasm, though, and was determined to please her now and forever.
His kisses traveled over her neck, following the trail blazed by his fingers until reaching their destination at her bosom. Lizzy moaned softly as Darcy rolled her onto her back. “Sweet, delicious wife,” he murmured as he kissed her breasts, Lizzy arching into him as her hands moved over his shoulders.
“William?”
“Hmmm?”
“I have a confession about the book.”
He lifted so as to see her blushing face. “A confession?” His fingers assumed the task of delighting her breasts as his lips feathered over her neck to the tender spot behind her ear.
Lizzy moaned and shivered. “Yes,” she responded breathlessly. “The truth is that I have been too occupied to more than glance at the book. Ooohh… Fitzwilliam, pity please! I am trying to speak!” She grasped his head, pulling his mouth away from her neck so she could meet his eyes.
He grinned. “As you command, my love. You were saying?” He gave his attention but lightly caressed his hand over her hips and buttocks.
“I did note page five, but as for thirteen and twenty… I selected them at random. The first I saw the pictures was when you turned to them.”
He was honestly surprised. “How long have you had the book?” She told him the whole tale, how she had snuck down the morning after Christmas and found his note and examined all his mementos.
“I cannot believe you collected so many trinkets, William. You are so romantic and sentimental! I love this about you. Mostly I love that only I know this about you, and that you have shared yourself with me so completely. You amaze me.” He was blushing and she pulled his face to her, kissing him ardently.
“I still am stunned about the books,” he mumbled.
“Ridiculous man! Do you not yet comprehend how satisfied I am with you? I trust you to please me and teach me and be the leader. On occasion I shall surprise you, beloved, never fear. After all, I am the clever one, remember?”
He laughed and rolled onto his back, taking her along until her body was fully on top, embracing her tightly and wrapping her legs under his, squeezing her thighs. His hands traveled over her back and bottom as he kissed her probingly. “Lesson one, Elizabeth Darcy: Whenever you feel the urge, I am happy to submit to your dominance in our bed. As you did on our one-week anniversary and in your dressing room. I find it… intensely arousing.”
“Do you? This is good to know.” She rocked her hips into his, adoring the sensation of his firm muscles flexing along her outer thighs where he held her captive. She caressed his sides, gliding fingers along the solid ridges of his chest and abdomen as far as she could reach, squeezing and tickling, while she assaulted his neck. He moaned, one hand entangled in her hair as he inhaled her scent.
“Elizabeth, beautiful Elizabeth, my lover. I need you so.” Gently but clearly clutching her hair, he sought her lips. They kissed deeply, starved for each other’s breath and taste. Tongues mingled, lips suckling lips as they writhed against ea
ch other with passion rising. Darcy, always wondrously graceful in his power and strength, rolled and then rose to his knees with Elizabeth secure in his arms and nestled on his lap. Arms wound over his shoulders and hands flattened on his back, Lizzy nuzzled his neck and bestowed tiny bites.
“Precious love. My Lizzy.” He arched his neck, moaning and hugging her tight. “Remember page five, my heart?”
She giggled and focused on his expectant face. Playfully they loved, experimenting with the illustrations from the book, but mostly blissfully caught up with the sensations derived so lusciously from each other. Embracing tightly as they merged and moved in perfect unison.
“Fitzwilliam, my darling husband,” she whispered, glazed eyes locked. “I love you… I live for your love and touch… your eyes on me… your voice… your mouth… your skin…” Each phrase spaced as she kissed and caressed his chest and shoulders. “Your words of devotion… I so adore you!… I want you… so utterly you belong to me… and I to you… my soul.”
It was powerful; Darcy was amazed at his control and stamina in light of his wife’s wanton need. As expected, he was unable to withstand all three pages, but neither cared. Their release was blinding, leaving them both shaken and blissfully satiated.
Later they lay entwined, dozing in their happy exhaustion. Lizzy caressed his chest lazily, running the tips of her fingers through his hair, inhaling deeply of his masculine smell. “William?”
“Yes, beloved?”
“I am a little afraid of the books.”
“Afraid? I do not understand.”
“Do you ever wonder if our lovemaking will always be like this? Will we, perhaps… run out of new experiences or get bored?”
“No.”
“How can you be so sure?”
He was silent for a spell, collecting his thoughts. He understood this was one of those moments where, despite his previous inexperience, his overall maturity and worldliness gave him a certain wisdom she lacked. “Elizabeth, I will eternally love you and desire to make love to you. I know this for certain. Right now the activity is novel and perhaps that lends a dimension to it that will not be there twenty or thirty years from now.
“Yet by then our love will have grown stronger. We will have had children together, been through hardships, created memories, and built a marriage that is deep. We may not be tearing our clothes in passion or making love three times a day, although maybe we will,” he laughed and kissed her head, “yet when we do love each other it will, I believe, be stronger and more powerful, as can only occur between two souls who have bonded for so many years. This is how it is meant to be. Do you understand?”
He lightly grasped her chin and turned her face to his, surprised to see tears in her eyes. In alarm he cupped her cheeks and kissed her. “Beloved, please do not fear! I will always desire you, Elizabeth. We can discard the books if you wish.” She halted him with a kiss, long and deep.
“Why do you put up with me?” she finally said. “I am so silly and you are so wise!”
“Neither is true, Elizabeth,” he interrupted, “and I put up with you because I could not survive without you.” He kissed her eyes and then her nose before continuing. “Happy anniversary, my precious wife, today and every day for all my life I will love you and thank God He brought you to me. This I can assert with confidence.” He laughed softly as he stroked her hair and playfully nibbled her lips. “I have not tired of riding my horses after all these years, so how could I tire of riding you? You, precious Elizabeth, are profoundly superior.”
The preparations for the Ball consumed most of Lizzy’s thoughts. As the imminent event drew nearer, Lizzy’s original excitement and blasé attitude was replaced by a fair amount of nervousness. She was apprised of several facts regarding the Masque, which either calmed her or escalated her anxiety. Firstly, the annual Cole Twelfth Night Masquerade Ball was a Derbyshire extravaganza dating back more than fifty years and was the premier social affair.
The fact that the surpassingly eligible bachelor, the prime bull as he put it, Mr. Darcy of Pemberley, had only deigned to attend four times since his coming of age was a minor scandal, viewed by some as a hideous breach of propriety. This philosophy signified the momentous weight ascribed to this singular celebration and Lizzy’s opportunity to make a positive impression as Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy, Mistress of Pemberley. It was in no way vanity for her to rightfully surmise that all eyes would be on her for a variety of reasons.
Knowing this, Lizzy was uncertain whether she was happy or dismayed to discover that, although a “Masque,” few masks were worn. The tradition of actually attempting to disguise oneself in the relatively insular community of Derbyshire had long ago been deemed ludicrous. Therefore, the style had faded only to be affected by the more frivolous—usually single—attendees who sought an air of mystery.
Darcy had flatly refused even to consider wearing a mask, ever. Lizzy had initially been relieved, since the idea held no appeal to her either, yet as the import of the Ball registered fully upon her consciousness, the comfort of hiding behind a mask did seem providential!
Then there was the gown itself. Lizzy trusted the genius of Madame du Loire and, having beheld her gown, she could abstractly proclaim it a masterpiece. Yet therein lay her disquiet. Lizzy had never in her life entertained the notion of donning such a fabulous garment. It was so far removed from her character to cover herself with yards upon yards of finery. She recognized that if ever there was a night she needed to be comfortable with who she was, it was this night. How could she possibly be “Lizzy” dressed like this? Of course, she was no longer just “Lizzy”—she was Mrs. Darcy, and desired to present herself as such to please her husband and impress the denizens of Derbyshire. Oh, the dilemma! It gave her a headache.
Lastly, Mr. Vernor had informed Darcy that Sir Cole had agreed to sanction the waltz for two dances this year. The scandalous Viennese dance had gained reserved favor last year when the Prince Regent had introduced it at a royal affair in the palace. The older members of society had suffered a collective case of apoplexy, but the younger elite had secretly applauded the Prince’s action. Outwardly they nodded sagacious agreement with their elders, yet the dance persisted in popping up throughout the cotillions and balls of the ton. Lizzy had frankly been shocked speechless to learn that her shy, priggish, and rigid husband had learned the dance years ago when touring Austria and practiced further two years ago while in Paris. Lizzy was ragingly jealous to imagine him dancing so intimately with another woman.
This intelligence had been disclosed to her four days after Christmas. They had all returned from one of their excursions into Lambton where, while the men dallied at the pub, Mr. Vernor had enlightened Darcy about the waltz. Resting in their sitting room for the afternoon, Darcy disclosed this information to Lizzy along with his experience in dancing the waltz and his great willingness to teach her if she wished it. Lizzy was dumbstruck, primarily at the idea of her husband knowing the notorious dance, but also at the concept of performing it herself. Darcy, she could easily tell, was quite enamored by the vision.
He gazed at her expectantly until finally she stammered, “You dance the waltz! But… you do not like to dance… any dance! How did you learn…” She blushed profusely. “With whom did you… I have heard it is so, so… intimate!” She was inexplicably furious and leapt from her chair with the probable intent of storming from the room, but Darcy grabbed her arm.
“Elizabeth, stop. You are being silly,” he began, but her angry face halted his words and he released her arm. With a final glare she did storm out of the room and into her dressing room, slamming the door with astonishing vigor. Darcy stood in the middle of the room in a welter of emotion. Anger, dismay, amusement, and bewilderment warred internally. With stunning clarity, he realized they had just had their first married fight and he was absolutely at a loss as to what to do. Well, a letter is out of the question, he thought with irony as he fell into his chair.
If Darcy boasted one
character trait above all others, it would be his ability to succinctly and reliably rationalize. The problem was that he did not always possess all the necessary evidence to form a perfect conclusion, ergo the disastrous first proposal to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Mrs. Darcy was another matter. Darcy would never be so presumptuous as to assert that he wholly understood his complex, adorable wife, but in their time together he had amply gleaned the nuances of her thinking, character, and actions.
Most importantly, he loved her ardently and refused to allow her to feel any pain, if it was within his power to relieve. Therefore, he shoved his emotions aside, another trait he possessed, and allotted himself the time necessary to ponder all that had happened, what she had said and not said, and what he knew of her until he reached a conclusion. After a prayer and a deep cleansing breath, he approached her door.
He heard a faintly muffled sound from within that he thought might be crying, piercing his heart. He knocked softly. “Elizabeth?” No answer. “Elizabeth my love, we must talk. May I come in, please?” It was some time before he heard a muted yes.
She stood leaning against the wall by the small window, arms crossed. Her face was averted but he instantly knew, based on his intimacy with her body, that she had been crying but was also still angry. He longed to hold her with a palpable ache but he paused just inside the door.
“Elizabeth, I beg your forgiveness on several counts. First, I have been horribly insensitive to your feelings lately regarding the Ball and what I now begin to comprehend might be anxiety on your part. I am unbelievably obtuse at times, and I believe this is one of those times. I take the society and denizens of Derbyshire for granted. It has forever been a part of my life and I am remiss, outrageously so, for not remembering that you are acquainted with few of our neighbors.