I followed her. I couldn’t help it.
She headed into the lobby of the hotel. Rounded a corner to the restroom. The hallway was sparse, most inside the ballroom getting trashed on company money.
After she went in, I went in behind her, careful to check if there was anyone else in the bathroom.
It was empty.
Locking the door behind me, I found her with her palms against the marbled sink, chest heaving in and out as she stared at herself in the mirror.
“We can’t,” she said without sparing me a glance.
I paused in the doorway, my heart beating so hard I felt it would pound right out of my chest.
“We shouldn’t,” she continued. I could feel her resolve dissolving within my presence. There was this pull neither of us could deny. This cosmic feeling that crushed every barrier set between us.
I took a step toward her.
“This is wrong,” she continued, her chest visibly rising and falling.
Two more steps.
“But I can’t help it.” Her lips crushed against mine, hands in my hair as I lifted her up and sat her on the counter. Pressed myself against her heat. She was so warm and perfect.
It took seconds to pull her panties down. To get my pants unbuckled and a condom on so I could finally be inside her.
The moment I entered her, we both let out pent-up sighs. I plunged into her, hard stroke after hard stroke, claiming her. Taking her. Needing her.
She tasted like fruit as our tongues danced. As her fingers gripped my hair, pulling, teeth nipping at my lips.
She was feral magic.
A fucking goddess.
Then, there was a knock on the door, followed by a drunken, “Hello!”
Corinne’s eyes were like a doe’s. Wide and spooked as I stilled inside her.
She pulled back, the spell we wove broken. Wormed her way around me, pulling up her panties. “This was bad, Cole. This was…”
I pulled her into my arms, hugging her. Hating that our moment was dulled by reality. “Corinne, wait. It’s okay. Please, don’t—”
“It’s not okay, Cole… This isn’t…” She was crying. Fuck. I’d done this to her.
“Please, just let me go. I have to…”
The knocks came harder.
After buttoning my pants, I slid into a stall and locked it. Listened as she straightened herself up, and then unlocked the door.
“What the hell?” a woman said, entering the bathroom.
“Sorry.” Corinne sounded rushed and upset, and it fucking gutted me.
After hearing the woman enter a stall, I slid out of the bathroom as Corinne disappeared into the ballroom.
When I entered, I found her near Jack, pulling on his arm. He seemed angry. She said something, and then he gave her a glare that made her take a step back. A moment later, she was rushing out the door.
I went after her. “Corinne,” I said in the hallway as she all but ran for the entrance to the hotel. “Corinne!”
She didn’t stop. I didn’t blame her.
Standing on a thin layer of freshly fallen snow, I watched as she got in a cab, then disappeared within the city lights.
Chapter 13
Corinne
I had no idea what I was thinking.
That was a lie. I knew exactly what I was thinking.
I wanted him, and he wanted me.
But it wasn’t on a Thursday, and my husband had been one room away.
I was losing my mind. Losing my grip.
The next Thursday came around, and I called Cole as soon as Jack left the apartment.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said, his voice husky and sweet.
“I can’t see you anymore,” I rushed out.
There was a moment of silence.
“Cole?”
“Why not?”
“You know why.”
“Corinne, I—”
“I can’t control myself when I’m with you. That isn’t what this was supposed to be. I’m not… I’m not supposed to feel anything for you, but I do.”
More silence.
I chewed on the edge of my nail. My lungs felt ragged. My heart cracking.
“I want to take you out to dinner.”
Damn it, he was persistent. A sad heat pressed behind my eyes.
“Cole—”
“Please, Corinne. We can talk then.” The desperation in his words pulled at my heart.
“You know the rules.”
An audible inhale. “Okay. Then dinner at my place?”
“I can’t,” I said. “Please understand, Cole.”
And then I hung up.
Later that day, as I strolled through the park, my phone rang in my pocket. It was Macy.
“Hey,” I said with a sigh, finding a bench to sit on. Snow covered the ground in a layer of soft white. The cold was almost unbearable, but I needed to get out. To think.
“Hey, you. How was the party?”
I filled her in on everything. Even the bathroom incident. My heart felt like it had been dragged through barbed wire. Breaking it off with Cole was harder than I thought it would be, but it was the right thing to do.
“And where was Jack?” she asked, taking it all in. There was no judgment in her words. Just concern.
I shrugged, even though she couldn’t see it. “Doing what Jack always does.”
“Corinne…”
“I know, Mace.”
She exhaled. “Have you ever considered that maybe you and Jack have grown apart?”
I braced my temples. I was hopelessly tired. “Maybe, but we could find each other again.”
Why did those words sound foreign? Distant. Like staring across a vast ocean with no way to get to the other side.
“I don’t know, Corinne. You want to talk over dinner?”
My face twisted with confusion. “You’re in town?”
“Yeah,” she said, sounding far away. “I took a day.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“Where?” I asked, feeling my heart perking up.
“There’s this Italian place I saw the last time I was in town. Giorgio’s. How does seven sound? I have a few errands to do first.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling funny. Why would Macy be in town and not say anything? And spend the entire day alone in the city?
“Good,” she said. “See you soon.”
“Bye.”
The hours passed slowly. I tried to busy myself with mindless errands. Picked up curtains for the windows in our bedroom. Though the view was nice, I hated the openness. It felt like there was no privacy.
Changing into a pair of skinny jeans and a white blouse, I slipped on some heels, and a jacket before braving the New York chill. My body was already acclimating to the downhill slide into winter, the cold not as biting as it was in the beginning. Not as cold as it would be in the coming weeks.
The car pulled up to the front of the restaurant, and I got out. There was a man standing at the door dressed in a suit. He held it open for me, smiling.
“Thank you,” I said, passing through into the welcomed warmth.
The smells coming from the kitchen were mouthwatering. I searched the room for Macy, but there wasn’t a soul in sight. The tables were empty, the only sounds coming through the speakers tucked in the corners of the room.
Odd, I thought as the hostess approached.
“Corinne?” she asked.
I nodded.
“Come with me.”
We walked through the empty restaurant, back into the kitchen. What the hell? I had a weird feeling in my stomach that was solved the moment I saw Cole. He stood by a table set for two in front of the chef preparing food.
His smile was large and warm, like his hands. Like everything about him.
I should have left. Went home, back to the safety of what I knew. It was obvious Macy helped him set it up. But the hostess was ushering me forward, and a small part of m
e didn’t want to leave. The piece I had unknowingly given to him.
“You said not in public,” he said, coming up behind me and pushing my chair in. Once he sat, he reached for my hand. “I rented the place out, so we could be alone. A private date.”
I wanted to be angry, but all I felt was impressed. Cared for.
“Cole, this is a lot.”
“It’s nothing.”
“To you.”
He ran his thumb over my knuckle. “For you, it’s priceless.”
A quick glance at the chef made my stomach growl.
“He’s making your favorite.”
I could tell. The smell of garlic and cream and Parmesan was gloriously overwhelming.
“So… how did you get a hold of Macy?” He knew about her from the many conversations we’d had, I gushed to each about the other, but they’d yet to meet each other.
“I called where you used to work and asked for her. She was hesitant in helping me, but after a bit of conversation, she was on board.”
“I bet she was,” I said, already planning the ways I’d make her pay for it.
“Corinne… I don’t want to end what we have going. I know you feel guilty. What happened at the party… I promise it won’t happen again. Not unless you want it to.”
“I don’t,” I said, wrapping my arms around my chest.
A pained expression crossed his features. I didn’t like hurting him, but I had to keep the boundaries in place. It was a tricky game we were playing. Either one of us could easily get burned.
I didn’t want to be the one who burned him.
“I just think we need to rethink everything. What happened… it was against the rules.”
“What is it with you and your rules?”
“Rules keep things from going all wrong. Having them makes me feel less screwed up. Like I’ve got this all under control.”
He grinned. “I knew you liked control.”
An image of the last time we were together at his house played across my mind. Him blindfolded. Me making him work for it.
A waiter set down a salad in front of us.
“Thank you,” Cole said.
I picked up my fork, then poked around the plate. Took a small bite as the sounds of the kitchen moved between us.
“Why don’t we talk about something safe then?”
“What’s safe when it comes to you?” Everything I learned about Cole, I liked. How was that safe?
He cleared his throat. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?”
“That depends.” I sat my fork down so the waiter could take my half-eaten plate away.
“On?”
“On you.”
He chuckled. The waiter set the main course in front of us. A creamy alfredo adorned with a crispy piece of chicken.
“Would you care for some fresh parmesan, Miss?” the waiter asked.
“Yes, please.”
I watched as he shaved the fresh cheese onto my meal.
“Thanks.” The food was beyond anything I’d ever tasted. I couldn’t hide my delight.
Cole watched me as I devoured every bite.
“You’re happy.” It was a statement. A shared moment between two people who understood each other more than they should.
“I am,” I said, giving in.
“Good.”
“What makes you happy?”
“You.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s your best line? Coming from New York’s most eligible bachelor, I’d think you could do better than that.”
“But don’t I, though?”
Damn, he was cocky. Yes. He did. With that mouth and those hands that have covered nearly every inch of my body.
“Why did you marry Jack?”
I was a little struck by the question. The waiter took our plates away. My mouth opened and closed as the reasons I searched for were lost within a fog in my mind. They were blurred. Hard to find, and it made me feel somewhat ashamed.
There was a time when the reason would pop out before the question could ever be finished. But now… why had I married Jack?
Was it love? So often as little girls with lollipops in our mouths and pigtails in our hair, we were told that one day we’d find true love. A man would sweep us off our feet. Carry us into a happily ever after fit for princesses.
But was there ever a true happily ever after? What about the bumps that happened along the way? And what about being our own hero? Creating our own happily ever after that didn’t have to be dictated by a man? Shouldn’t that be what little girls learned?
She we be able to build ourselves up first?
“Corinne?” Cole asked, the concern in his tone forming a lump in my throat.
“When I married Jack, I had rose-colored blinders. Everything was a possibility. Even Jack. Love held a different meaning for me back then. I held expectations that were never truly real. I thought every day would be a honeymoon. Thought he’d never lose that light in his eyes that was always there when he looked at me. We found our happily ever after in each other. And then…”
“And then?” he repeated.
“And then, reality had her way with me, and I… well, I don’t believe in happily ever afters. Not anymore.”
The waiter brought out the dessert. Two glasses filled with layers of cookie soaked in coffee and mascarpone with a dusting of chocolate.
I took a bite, hoping the sweet would chase away the bitter swarming my heart.
“What about you?” I asked, scooping a spoonful. Wanting to shift the lens onto someone other than myself.
“Me?”
“I know you like to play the part of the elusive bachelor, but there had to have been someone along the way. You’re thirty-six.”
A dimple formed in his cheeks. It always did when he bit back a smile. “You know my age?”
I blushed again. “I… uh… I did my research before everything began.”
“I see. So you stalked me online?”
My mouth opened. Closed.
“It’s okay, Corinne,” he said, laughing. “How do you think I got Macy’s number?”
I filled my mouth with tiramisu.
“And to answer your question, yes, there was someone. A couple of them, when I was younger.”
“What happened?”
His head tilted to the right a little. “The same that has happened for you. We all waltz into love thinking it’s one thing, and come stumbling out on the other side realizing it’s something entirely different. I thought I could handle relationships back then. When I realized the responsibility that comes with loving someone fully and completely, I decided I wasn’t ready. Not when what I felt for them couldn’t hold a candle to the way my dad loved my mom. That’s what I want. That’s what I will wait for.”
I thought about what he said as the waiter took the last of the plates. Love was messy. It was complicated and tiring. Sometimes overwhelming. But it could also be powerful and enlightening. I didn’t know the moment I lost Jack, but I could feel myself drifting with every second that passed.
And I didn’t think I could stop it.
We sipped on wine for a while, the words casual. Safe. It was nice, being out with him. Feeling like a normal couple rather than a dirty secret. Cole kept to his word by keeping his distance. His touches were minimal. His gazes light.
After a while, I relaxed, glad he had persisted in seeing me. I wasn’t ready to walk away from him. As scary as it was to admit, it was even scarier thinking I’d never see him again.
“What now?” I asked as I sipped the last of my wine. Heart fluttering.
He reached for my hand. “Go back to my place?” The plea was sweet. His longing wrapped around me like a rope, pulling me into him.
“Okay.”
An hour later, I was laying across his chest on his couch, counting the smile lines around his eyes.
“Did you know you have a birthmark?” he asked, his finger tracing my skin.
“I
do?”
He nodded, touching a small spot beside my ear. “Here,” he said, kissing it. “It’s small. No bigger than a dime.”
“Hmm,” I said, nudging my nose against his.
“And you have six and a half smile lines around your eyes,” I said, kissing each side.
He chuckled. “Are you saying I’m old?”
“I’m saying you have a beautiful smile, and I’m glad you’ve shared it with the world.”
He rolled me underneath him. Pressed his lips against my neck, then licked a slow, torturous trail toward my ear where he nibbled, groaning.
I was wet again. It was that easy for him.
He flipped me over. Kissed a soft trail down my spine. I squealed when he took a small nibble of my ass. He chuckled.
“Here,” he said, circling a spot on my right ass cheek. “You have a beauty mark.”
“I do?”
He smacked it. “You’re fucking sexy, Corinne.”
I turned back over, reaching for his face. “And you’re beautiful.” My gaze wandered past him, to the clock on the wall. I was nearly out of time.
He must have registered me pulling away, because he said, “Stay,” while holding my hand.
“Why?”
“Because I like spending time with you.”
The truth in his words dug holes into my heart. His gaze was piercing, trying to make me see.
I shifted away from him. Slid back into my clothes and shoes. “I can’t, Cole.”
He huffed.
I kissed his forehead before heading out the front door.
Back to reality.
Back to Jack.
Chapter 14
Cole
The New York streets were alive with the spirit of Christmas. There was music in the streets. Santas on corners ringing bells. Thousands of bundled-up bodies carrying bags as wisps of white were exhaled into the night air.
Though I didn’t have many to shop for, I enjoyed the controlled chaos that came with holiday shopping. I visited a few different shops, trying to find the perfect gift for all my employees. Bianca was the hardest to buy for. Based on the things she kept on her desk, I knew she loved dogs, but that was about it.
An hour into shopping, I rounded the corner, heading for the bookshop, when I collided with someone.