“No,” Lily corrected, “It’s supposed to block unwanted energy. It blocks people you don’t have a connection with or want to keep out. It doesn’t block everybody.”
“You really think I want a connection with Savannah?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“It doesn’t matter. You have one because you’re emotionally connected to her, for better or worse. She was able to get under your skin and engage you emotionally, and by doing so the two of you established a connection,” Lily replied.
We slowly wandered back to the party so Sophie and Lily could say goodnight to Roman and Brady.
Then the three of us walked back to my house in silence.
Chapter 20. Lies
It was Thursday before I finally got a chance to speak with Justin. He’d been unusually cool to me all week, and avoided being alone with me whenever possible. I’d already decided I was going to find a way—any way to get him alone to talk before the week was over. As luck would have it, Mr. Walters decided we needed to go take more pictures of the campus, and Justin and I were once again paired off.
His discomfort was evident as we walked out to the far field. “Justin,” I said, once we reached our spot by the hillside overlooking the ocean. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you talking to me?”
“I am talking to you. What’s up?” he replied stiffly.
“You just seem different to me. You’re acting weird. Ever since the bonfire. Ever since…”
“You want to talk about weird and different?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “Okay, how about telling me exactly what happened to you, and how you knew what was happening to Savannah.”
I took a deep breath. There it was…the question I’d been dreading. I forced myself to relax and perform the charade I’d practiced in front of the mirror all week.
“What do you mean, how I knew what was happening to Savannah?” I asked, my face a perfect mask of confused innocence.
He rolled his eyes. “Oh please, spare me. You knew exactly where she was, and that she was in trouble. What was with the falling down in fear act on the sand?”
I spoke slowly, choosing my well-rehearsed words carefully. “Justin, I don’t know what you think happened on the beach, but me keeling over in pain and knowing what was happening to Savannah are two totally different things.”
“What do you mean, ‘in pain’?” he asked.
“My stomach. It’s kind of embarrassing really. Before we went to the bonfire, Sophie and Lily and I had gone out to dinner. Sushi…my first time eating it. Anyway, when we were walking, I suddenly felt really sick. My stomach cramped up really bad, I was short of breath and dizzy. So that’s why I fell. It passed after a second, but for a moment the pain in my stomach was really bad. I dragged you over to the rocks because I needed to sit down, but I didn’t want to be on the wet sand in my new jeans. They were expensive.”
I paused to gauge his reaction. His face remained passive, but I sensed some new uncertainty from him.
“When we got closer, I thought I heard something,” I continued. “I heard her saying ‘no’, and, well, maybe it’s woman’s intuition or something, but when I saw them, it just didn’t look right…You were there, you obviously thought the same thing.”
Justin looked perplexed, as if this scenario hadn’t occurred to him.
“But I didn’t hear anything,” he protested mildly.
I fiddled with my lens cap, popping it off and pushing it back on again. “It was really faint. I only thought I heard something when you were talking to me, but I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I wanted to get over to the rocks to sit down for a while.”
“But…but when we got there, you were fine. You didn’t seem sick or anything.”
“I was shocked at what we stumbled upon. Like you were. Maybe the adrenaline cleared my head for a minute or two, I don’t know. But after you and Savannah left…well, I was pretty sick all night. Most of the next day, too. Guess it was mild food poisoning or something. Wasn’t very fun though, I can tell you that. Why? What were you thinking?”
This was it…my story.
Justin did a nervous shuffle with his feet, and looked away, embarrassed. “Oh—I dunno. I just didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know you were sick. I’m sorry.” He glanced up through his blond hair and brushed it away from his face. “Are you okay now?”
I nodded and squinted my eyes, gazing out at the horizon. It was a clear day with a faint breeze. Several sail boats dotted the sparkling sea. Good. This is good. He bought it...he believed me.
“How’s Savannah doing?” I asked, eager to steer the subject away from me. “I haven’t seen her all week. What happened after you guys left?”
“She was pretty quiet the whole way back to her house…had to pull over a few times so she wouldn’t get sick in the Jeep. I told her she needed to tell her parents what happened, but she didn’t want to because she’d been drinking. She didn’t want to get in trouble.”
“She was pretty drunk. But still, what that guy did…he should be punished.”
Justin’s eyes met mine, and my stomach twitched. “Yeah, I agree. He’ll get what’s coming to him, I’m sure. She’s already told some guys I know what Luke did, and they’re looking for him. She wanted to keep her parents out of it though, so going to the police was out of the question.”
“Why isn’t she in school?” I raised my camera and zoomed in on the sailboats, taking several shots. Why did my stomach flip-flop when I looked into Justin’s eyes? Was it his emotions I was feeling...or mine?
“I called to check on her yesterday.” He sounded almost guilty as he lifted his camera and took some pictures of his own. “She’s just taking the week off. Didn’t feel like being around anyone right now. She’ll be back next week.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good I guess.” I lowered my camera and met his gaze again. Just to see...
He raised an eyebrow. Flip-flop, flip-flop. “Thought the two of you didn’t exactly get along,” he said.
Had he always been this sexy? I always knew he was sweet and easy to talk to, but watching him come to Savannah’s rescue and kick that drunken guy’s ass...combined with my worry that he’d never want to talk with me again…
Suddenly, I was seeing Justin in a whole new light.
Stop it, Calista. Now is not the time for hormonal confusion.
“She’s the one who has a problem with me,” I mumbled. “I never did anything to her; she just started getting all nasty on me for no reason.”
“Well, I guess that’s sort of my fault,” Justin said, and moved closer to me. So close, I could smell the faintest hint of musk. Flip-flop, flip-flop. “She and I were kinda hanging out at one point, but I dunno, something was missing. Didn’t feel quite right. Then you moved here, and, well, it’s no real secret that I like you,” he said. “Guess she’s the jealous type.”
“We better hurry up and get some pictures taken. Mr. Walters is gonna kill us!” I exclaimed, alarmed at the new direction our conversation had taken.
Before he could stop me, I hurried across the field to photograph some trees. I couldn’t believe Justin had come right out and said that he liked me, and admitted that Savannah actually had a reason to be jealous. I much preferred it before—unspoken—when I had plausible deniability of any romantic involvement with him. Why did he have to make this so hard on me? Were his feelings of attraction messing with my head? Why was I suddenly feeling flustered and unsure what to say? Why did I feel so nervous? And giddy?
We spent the rest of the hour doing our own thing, and walked back to class in awkward silence. I knew many of my shots were simple and sloppy, but I didn’t care. My heart wasn’t in the assignment. Instead, it was tangled in turmoil about my predicament.
I needed to be honest with myself. Was I missing out on something potentially wonderful because I was chasing an illusion? A fantasy? A dream? Justin was a serious catch—any girl would be thrilled to know that he was into her. But I wasn’t. And the onl
y reason was that my heart already belonged to someone else. Someone who captivated my dreams and kissed me in my sleep. Someone who, I hoped beyond hope, would return to me soon, and maybe…just maybe…feel even the tiniest bit the same way about me.
Chapter 21. Princess
Several weeks had passed since the day we spoke on Joey’s cell phone, but Nicholas still hadn’t returned. I also hadn’t seen Joey or Max since that day, even though I always looked for them during my daily beach jogs.
Tonight was the Winter Ball. Sophie was going with Brady, Lily was going with Roman, and I was going with Justin— just as friends. At least I was. Lily and Roman had been practically inseparable ever since the bonfire, and after a week or two of shy flirting, Brady and Sophie seemed to be getting serious, too. So Justin and I were going to be spending the evening with couples who were still in the brand-new, lovey-dovey stage.
At first, I’d been hesitant to accept Justin’s invitation, but he had finally won me over. It wasn’t him I had a problem with; it was the inevitable awkwardness I knew would arise once we were in romantic company. He’d been so good about respecting my desires to keep our relationship strictly platonic for now, and other than Sophie and Lily, he was my closest friend. Plus, I’d never been to a dance before, and since my dream date was still ‘unavailable’, going with Justin was the next best thing.
Sophie, Lily and I had gone shopping for dresses in Beverly Hills the weekend before, and each of us had managed to find the perfect one. Even Sophie, who’d feared she wouldn’t be able to afford anything good, managed to snag an amazing dress from a discounted rack. It was pale pink, and looked adorable with her tan skin and blonde hair.
While trying on dresses, we realized something—the dance would be the first time the three of us would be wearing our amulets exposed for others to see. Normally we wore them tucked under our clothes; I’d never even seen Lily’s before, and was surprised to see that, unlike my fiery orange diamond, hers was a pale aquamarine crystal. I’d already seen Sophie’s rose-colored quartz, and when I commented how I found it strange we all had different colors, Sophie explained that each talisman was made uniquely for the wearer, and each individual’s essence and power came through in the stone. So I guessed my essence was orange—whatever that meant.
By the end of the day, Lily had picked out a slim fitting white dress that accentuated her dark coloring perfectly. I, however, had a more difficult time deciding what to wear. My hair—not quite blonde and not quite brunette—yellowed and dulled with dark colors. Bolder colors clashed with the amulet, and even though I was much tanner than when I first moved here, white made my skin look sallow and pale.
I’d just about given up hope of finding a decent dress when I heard an audible gasp from Lily. She and Sophie were scavenging the racks in a desperate attempt to find me something good.
“Ohmygod, Calista, this is it!” Lily exclaimed as she held up the dress. It was a silver gossamer of spun silk that glistened and sparkled under the lights of the store. It looked small – barely any material at all. I was sure it wouldn’t fit, but at Lily and Sophie’s insistence I tried it on.
The stretchy material hugged my body down to the middle of my thighs. Narrow straps met at the base of my throat joined with a delicate diamond clasp. The neckline was dangerously low, even though I didn’t have much to show off. One glance told me I looked amazing—and that my father would never in a million years let me step foot outside wearing something so risqué.
“Come out, show us!” Sophie and Lily demanded, as I admired myself in the three-way mirror. Reluctantly, I stepped out of the security of my private dressing room and into the hallway where they stood waiting.
Lily’s eyes popped and Sophie’s jaw dropped when they saw me.
“Wow,” Sophie breathed, visibly shocked. “That is…you look…oh my God!”
“Skanky, right? I can’t wear this!” I said. “Maybe if I was ten years older and in a nightclub in LA, but I’ll probably get expelled if I show up in this thing.”
“It makes your legs look amazing…and your butt defies gravity, I swear. Every guy will go crazy when they see you, and all the girls will die of jealousy—except us of course.” Sophie giggled.
“Aren’t you listening? I can’t wear this! I’m not a stripper!”
Lily walked around me, appraising me like I was a piece of art. “Well…you’re not wearing it like that,” she said, laughing. “You have it on backward. The plunge goes in the back.”
Embarrassed, I rolled my eyes and retreated to the dressing room. “How was I supposed to know that? The stupid zipper and tag were on the side…” I muttered under my breath.
Lily chuckled, and Sophie said, “I thought it looked pretty good!”
I readjusted the dress and went back out to show them. Lily smiled and gave an emphatic “Yes!” and Sophie clapped her hands with approval. With the dress facing the proper way, there was far less cleavage, but enough to still look glamorous. The backless design made me feel sexy without being trashy, and with a few adjustments to the hem, the dress would fall at a comfortable spot on my legs. I found some delicate silver heels with tiny rhinestone embellishments to complete my fantasy outfit. I was set.
But that was then—back in the safety of the department store, with only Sophie and Lily to see me. Tonight, I’d be wearing that amazing dress surrounded by classmates and teachers who knew me, and for a boy who had a serious crush on me.
The familiar butterflies of panic fluttered around in my stomach, so I decided to go for a quick run before it was time to get ready for the dance. Recently, I’d increased my jogs to twice daily. Although I did the five mile trip back and forth from the pier every morning before school, by mid-afternoon my legs were restless and anxious again. I craved the feel of my muscles stretching and burning as I pushed myself further and faster every day.
A thick cloud of grey mist diluted the late afternoon sun; the first stages of winter fell on the shores of Crystal Cove with a murky depression that seemed to mimic my increasing gloom. I tried not to think about Nicholas; I tried not to be sad that I never saw him again after that brief encounter on the beach. I tried to push away the growing fear that my obsession with him was interfering with my life in a way that was very not healthy.
I dreamed of him every night now. Always the same. Always so perfect. So good that when I woke in the mornings, I was crushed with the knowledge that I’d be forced to go through the whole entire day without seeing him again. I’d sleep twenty four hours a day, seven days a week if I could.
My steps fell into a deep and easy rhythm, and I forced myself to relax—to focus on the positive—on all the good things in my life.
I thought of this evening’s festivities, and as the sky grew darker, I found myself more and more excited about the new experiences that awaited me. Things had certainly changed since my days in Basile, and not only by my learning I was a witch. I was enjoying the high school experience in a way I’d never dreamed possible. And having friends like Sophie, Lily and Justin made everything so much better.
Despite my attempts to think of something other than Nicholas, a smile spread over my face as I imagined waltzing in my gown under the stars, with my arms wrapped around his broad shoulders. This is so unhealthy, I scolded myself. But I couldn’t stop from picturing Nicholas dressed up in a suit, smiling and handing me a corsage. He’d take my hand and lead us to the center of the magical garden of my dreams, where we’d slow dance in each other’s arms all night long. My fantasies of Nicholas were like a drug; I knew I should stop thinking of him, but I just couldn’t.
I finished my jog, and once I was back inside the comfort of my room, I began to get excited in earnest for the evening. I wrapped my long hair in a bun and stepped into the foamy hot bath. But even there I couldn’t escape the haunting visions of Nicholas, as I closed my eyes and remembered his sweet kisses from my dreams…his hands gently caressing my face… his fingers running through my hair…my body
melting into his as if we were one...
“CALISTA! Your friends are here!” My father’s voice bellowed from the hallway, shattering my reverie.
“Okay! I’m in the bathroom. Send ‘em in.” I struggled up and threw on a robe, once again greeting Sophie and Lily in the midst of my bathing ritual.
“Gah, you take longer to get ready than I do,” Sophie said, noting my wet and sudsy appearance. She and Lily were dressed in their street clothes, both holding their dresses carefully in their arms.
“Our parents dropped us off and went out to dinner together,” Lily said as she hung up her gown in the closet. “They’re coming back at eight when the boys get here so they can all take pictures.”
“We’ll be lucky to get to the dance by ten,” Sophie groaned. “My dad is the worst when it comes to taking pictures. He’ll have a whole album before we get out of here.” She opened the large plastic tote containing makeup and hair accessories she’d brought with her.
“Hurry up and finish,” Lily instructed me. “I’ll get started on Sophie’s hair first, but yours will take a while, so don’t lag too much.”
Excited that they were here and our night had officially begun, I hurried through my shower, forcing any thoughts of Nicholas to the back of my mind.
While my hair sat in the large rollers, I put on my makeup the way I’d practiced it the night before. Usually I only wore the bare minimum, but tonight was different. I carefully smudged some kohl liner around my eyes and brushed my cheekbones with a shimmering bronzer. It took me three times to get my rose-colored lip liner and gloss just right, but when I did, I was pleased with the result.
Lily set about styling me. She gently removed the rollers, being careful not to snag my hair. She fluffed it out, and then smoothed it down, so that it bounced with shine like never before.
“Since your dress has a low back, you don’t want your hair hanging down. But it’s too pretty to wrap all the way up,” she mused, biting her lip in concentration. She began working her fingers through the strands, putting in pins here and there, twisting curls with her fingers and spritzing hairspray.