“Just say yes to drugs,” I whispered, and he groaned.
“As much as I love this…and I am perfectly happy to remain here if you want…I should let you know that although Justin is awake now, he may not be for long. If you want to go we need to go now.”
I detested leaving our fantasy for that unpleasant reality, but I did want to see Justin.
Or did I?
Suddenly, I saw a vision of Justin as I had last seen him…pinning me down…choking me lifeless, slamming my head on the ground, screaming at me… Now that the moment was actually here, I was starting to have doubts.
“You don’t have to go,” Nicholas said. “I can go by myself, and I’ll come right back.”
I sat up. “No, I want to go. Just let me get dressed real quick.”
I went into the closet and pulled on some jeans and a thick green sweater, happy with the way the bold color complimented my new hair and brought out the bright blue of my eyes. Even though he’d said he didn’t care one way or the other, I liked wanting to be pretty for Nicholas. And I loved how beautiful I felt every time he looked at me.
A moment later I was wrapped in his powerful embrace and feeling the freezing ice and dancing bugs pummeling my skin. The uncomfortable sensation lingered longer than it had the last time Nicholas had shimmered me somewhere…away from Justin’s vicious attack and to the safety of my own bedroom. But even so it was over in less than a few seconds.
We landed outside a small log cabin, and I shook my body and swatted the invisible ants off my arms. The air here was clear and crisp, and overhead the full moon cast a brilliant glow over the nearby trees. I could feel the absolute silence … and an overwhelming sense of isolation. We were in the middle of nowhere.
“This is it.” Nicholas opened the small wooden door for me. We entered, and I caught my breath at the unexpected sight. Although the outside of the log cabin was rustic and simple, the inside was completely modern, and was comfortably and exquisitely furnished.
“He’s in the bedroom. Follow me and stay close. You are not to get too near him, okay?” he whispered forcefully.
“But you told the others that he was fine,” I whispered back.
“I want to be on the safe side. For now at least. Please do me this small favor, Calista.”
I nodded.
“Promise me?” he pressed.
“I promise.”
Nicholas opened the bedroom door. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I recoiled in horror. Gasping, I brought my hand to my mouth, unable to believe what I was seeing. I had been mortified at Nicholas’s appearance when he returned battered and bruised, but that was nothing compared to the horrific sight before me now. If I hadn’t known it was Justin on the bed I would never have recognized the mangled stranger as my friend.
“That bad, huh?” Justin mumbled through swollen lips. Even his voice sounded different.
“Oh my God! Justin…”
I started toward him, but Nicholas grabbed my arm and held me back. “Remember what you promised me,” he said under his breath before loosening his grip.
“Is that really you, Callie? I know my eyes are busted, but you sure don’t look like you.” His voice was strained, as if the very act of speaking was too big an effort.
“It’s the hair…I dyed it red. Justin, are you okay?” Immediately, I wanted to kick myself. What a stupid question—of course he wasn’t okay! Every inch of his body had been beaten to a pulp. One eye was swollen shut, and the other was red and bloodshot. Clumps of dried blood matted his yellow hair. His face was thin and sunken, his skin cracked and discolored. My heart went out to him. He didn’t deserve this. No one deserved this.
Justin shrugged and tried to sit up a little more. “I’ve been better, I suppose. Still, I feel a hell of a lot better than I did a few days ago.”
I shuddered and turned to Nicholas. “Isn’t there anything you can do?” I pleaded.
Nicholas shook his head. “I’ve really done all I can do. Believe it or not, these injuries are all on the inside, not the outside. I cannot heal his spirit and soul—only he can do that.”
“But why does he look so beaten up?”
He sighed. “It’s just how these things work. Trust me, it’s not as bad as it looks. He’s already made great improvements from just yesterday.”
I couldn’t begin to imagine how he could possibly have looked worse than he did right now.
Nicholas cleared his throat and took a small step forward. “She’s here, Justin, so say whatever it is you need to say.”
Justin looked back and forth between us with his bloodshot eye.
“…And I’m not leaving either, so don’t ask,” Nicholas added as moved his arm around me protectively.
Justin let out a deep sigh and looked down at the bed. “I know…I don’t blame you. I’d feel the same way too.” Then he glanced up at me, his battered face clouded in shame. “Calista…I know I have no right to ever think you could forgive me for what I did to you that night. I feel so sick every time I remember it…my body moving outside of my control, lunging at you…”
Nicholas’s arm wrapped around me tighter, pulling me close.
“…Nicholas says they’re going to do some memory thing on me…make it so I won’t remember what happened. The problem is that you’ll still remember.” He paused and shook his head.
“I guess what I really wanted to say,” he continued, his voice barely audible, “is that night, before I…changed, I said some pretty dumb things. Things I didn’t mean at all. Maybe compared to everything else that happened, it might not seem like that big a deal. But it is to me. It’s a huge deal. Because I was in control when I said those awful things to you. Not the monster... Me. And for that, I am deeply sorry.”
He slowly raised his wounded gaze and looked me in the eye. “I felt like an idiot. I let myself fall for you even though you’d made your feelings for me perfectly clear. I acted like an ass. Your rejection hurt, and I just said dumb things. Really dumb things. I’m really sorry, and I hope someday you can forgive me and remember that we were once friends.” He exhaled loudly and sank back down on his pillow, visibly exhausted.
I stared at him for the longest time. After all that had happened…after everything he’d gone through…he was worried about some silly argument that I’d already completely forgotten about?
I took a small step forward, ignoring Nicholas’s protective hand on my shoulder. Justin was no longer a threat to me. Anybody could see that. Heck, he wasn’t a threat to a fly.
“Justin…of course I forgive you. I’ve never been mad at you, not even for a minute. None of this is your fault, and I know you didn’t mean those things you said. And of course I know you’re my friend. That’s why we tried so hard to help you—to save you from hurting yourself. We all care about you, and we want you to get better. It breaks my heart to see you like this now.”
He smiled then, and I caught a tiny glimpse of the old Justin shining through. “You really mean that?” he whispered. “You don’t hate me?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t hate you. And yes, I really mean it. Now hurry up and get better so you can come home to us.”
Chapter 10. Forget
Lily and Sophie sat down on my bed and stared at me.
“Justin’s really coming back tomorrow?” Lily asked, her eyes wide as she chewed on some licorice.
I nodded, surprised by just how happy this news made me. It’d only been two days since we’d visited him at the cabin, but Nicholas had assured me Justin had made remarkable progress and was almost well enough to travel.
My friend Justin was okay. And he was coming home.
This nightmare would soon be over. Once Justin’s memory was fixed, we could all go back to our somewhat-normal lives—whatever that meant.
Sophie lay on her stomach and propped her chin with her fist. “So watcha gonna do now, with both Nicholas and Justin in the picture?” She threw me a mischievous grin as she popped some pean
ut M&M’s into her mouth.
I rolled my eyes and continued brushing my hair. “There is no picture. Nothing has changed in that department. Justin and I are only friends—”
“Yeah, a friend who looooves you.” Sophie swooned dramatically and giggled.
I flopped down on the chaise and gave her a look. “Yeah, also a friend who tried to kiiiillll me. I mean, obviously I know our relationship isn’t what one would call normal. But he’s a really good guy, and that’s all I care about. He feels good to be around.”
“Better than Nicholas?” Lily was eyeing me intently.
“Different than Nicholas. Not better. Different.”
“Do you guys mind if I kill the lights?” Sophie asked. “I feel like watching the sky for a while.”
“Suit yourself. I could do with a little relaxation,” I replied. Anything to change the topic from Nicholas and me. Or Justin and me. And especially Nicholas and Justin and me.
Instantly the room went dark, silent except for Sophie’s crunching. I took several deep breaths and reclined on the chaise lounge against the wall. I gazed upward and focused on clearing my mind…seeing what I wanted to see…allowing myself to connect to what I was part of…
The ceiling in my room faded away, revealing the scenic portal above us. I gasped. We’d watched the stars several times before, but the heavens had never looked like this…almost as if we were on another planet.
“What is this? Is this normal?” I was mesmerized, and a little bit frightened by the brilliant pink streaks and the massive swirls of fluorescent green lights that danced through the starry night sky.
Lily chuckled. “Actually, no, it’s not normal to be able to see the aurora borealis from this latitude—”
“It’s not exactly normal to be able to see through solid walls either, but we’re doing it,” Sophie piped in, and crunched some more.
“Amazing!” I lay transfixed by the breathtaking display of color. I’d seen plenty of entrancing sights, such as the phosphorescent glow of the enchanted Isle of Druantia, and the neon orbs that usually filled our night sky—invisible to most, but plainly visible to my magical sisters and me. But this was something else … extraordinary…unexpected. As if God was having a magical party of His own.
In the midst of this heavenly light show, I heard Lily sigh. She was troubled by something.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She paused. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to say anything, but…”
Sophie sat up on the bed and set aside her candy. “But what?”
“It’s about Justin. Last night I overheard my parents talking about him…”
“Gee, let me guess…they still don’t like him?” I said sarcastically. Apparently neither of my male friends was good enough for Ana or her coven. But I’d already decided I didn’t care what they thought.
“No—that’s not it. Well, not just that. I’m sure they’re still concerned he might be a threat…they still need to see for themselves and make sure he’s cured. But last night they were talking about his memory.”
“Well, that’s why they’re gonna fix it…so he’ll be all right again…right?” Sophie sounded less than confident.
Lily shook her head. “That’s the problem. I guess he was exposed to magic and our secret so long…there are way too many memories embedded with his real life, and they’re all concerned that the spell will leave him like…like…”
“Like what?” Sophie and I demanded in unison.
Lily’s shoulders slumped. “Well…like a vegetable, I guess. So far, no one knows of any spell or potion that will safely remove the last month or so of his life without a huge risk of causing him permanent brain damage. Even if he did manage to come through okay, they said he might not be the same guy at all. His personality could be totally different.”
Alarmed, I sat up on the edge of the chaise. “Wait a minute…are you trying to tell me that with all the weird, crazy, magical things we can do, we can’t do this one little thing without destroying him? That doesn’t even make sense!”
“Our magic isn’t supposed to mess with human destiny and free will,” Lily replied quietly. “That’s why it’s so hard to do mind spells on other people…why they’re usually forbidden.”
“That’s not true,” I protested. “Ana told me of the witch hunts of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. The only way to get them to stop killing innocent people was to perform a mind spell. So obviously we can affect people’s minds—”
“Yes, but that’s different—” Lily started.
“—And Ana said my mom cast one on me as a baby,” I continued. “It’s why people never noticed me my whole life until I came here. I mean, it was as if I was totally invisible—”
“But it’s not the same thing,” Lily interjected. “The Venuchi spell…your mom’s spell…and others like them…they’re different. They provide more of a glamour…an illusion. Like casting a fog over someone’s vision, making them see something different than the truth. It isn’t taking the truth away. Deep down people still know what happened. They still remember.”
“It just doesn’t make sense,” I argued. “How can it be so different?”
“It’s just the laws of our magic,” Sophie responded, her voice flat. “We aren’t meant to mess with the order of things. Even a short term memory spell is heavy duty, and only allowed because it usually just affects the part of the brain that actually saw the magic. So it helps us keep our secret, which makes the world a safer place. So it’s for the greater good. But to remove anything more—”
“What? What happens then?” I asked. “Surely this can’t be the very first time in the history of the world that a normal human has been exposed to magic long term. It can’t be.”
Lily and Sophie exchanged tentative glances. Our window to the sky had closed, and the room was shrouded in darkness and shadows. But I could still see Sophie’s unhappy frown. Lily lowered her head and nervously twisted the fringe on a throw pillow.
“Tell me! What happened to the other people?” I demanded when neither of them answered.
“I mean, yeah…of course people have been exposed to magic over time,” Sophie finally answered. “Actually, dark witches and wizards who don’t care about humans and about following the rules of good magic do it a lot, if it suits their purposes. But when people find out about magic, well…basically, they can’t take it.”
“What do you mean, ‘they can’t take it’?” I whispered.
“She means, they go crazy…they completely lose their minds,” Lily answered. “They become obsessed with letting the world know that magic is real, and witches really exist. But when no one believes them, well, the person literally goes crazy.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Where are these people?”
After a long pause Lily replied, “Well, the ones who are still alive are probably in mental institutions or prison.”
I slowly rose to my feet and paced around the room. “So, you’re trying to tell me that no matter what, Justin will either have his memory erased by the coven and possibly become an amnesiac vegetable, or they leave his memory alone and he becomes a deranged psychotic?”
“That’s about the gist of it,” Lily mumbled.
I shook my head. “I’m not buying it. We didn’t go through all the trouble of having his curse removed just to have him turn into a crazy nut job. No. I won’t allow it.”
“You might not have much of a choice,” Sophie said quietly. “I mean, even Nicholas didn’t have any idea what to do about it, and he seems to know more stuff than we do.”
“Okay, if this is all true, then why didn’t anyone say anything about this sooner? If we knew this was going to happen, why bother saving him? What was the point?” I plopped back down on the chaise and fumed. It was so unfair! How could this be happening? It doesn’t make any sense!
“I don’t think anyone thought Nicholas’s plan would actually work,” Sophie replied softly. “Everyone probably just assu
med Justin wouldn’t make it—”
“We’re so sorry, Callie,” Lily interrupted. “But don’t give up hope just yet. Maybe someone will come up with something.”
“Yeah, I mean, we’ve just never really been in this situation before, but it doesn’t mean we won’t find a way out of it,” Sophie added.
I knew they were trying to cheer me up, but it wasn’t working. Maybe I should’ve just let Justin drown himself that day. Maybe I shouldn’t have begged Nicholas to help him. Maybe I just should’ve said “no” when Justin asked me if I wanted to go for a walk outside that night at the Winter Ball.
If only I could turn back time! Then none of this would be happening. My friend Justin would be happy and safe somewhere, his biggest worry being when the next good surf would break, or whether the flash on his camera was working properly. Nicholas wouldn’t have had to risk his life for me, earning the mistrust of Ana and her coven in the process, and I wouldn’t be sitting here with my friends thinking what a mess I’ve made of things, and knowing that this was all my fault.
*****
“You’re up bright and early,” Ana greeted me as I entered the sunroom. I took a seat beside her on the large wicker couch and poured some of Dee’s special hot chocolate into a gold-rimmed mug.
I took a few sips. “I need to talk to you.”
It was still chilly out, but at least the sky was clear today and I had an unobstructed view of the shore. Nicholas and I had just returned from jogging to the pier and back. I’d always liked running, and with Nicholas by my side, I enjoyed it even more. Having him beside me pushed me harder… made me feel so much stronger. I loved feeling our bodies fall into rhythm, synchronizing, as we flew as one across the damp sand.
Ana gazed out at the choppy water. “You want to talk about your friend Justin, right?”
I nodded. “I know what’s going on. Lily told me everything. You guys can’t fix his memory without messing him up bad, but not doing anything will make him lose his mind and go crazy. Is that right?”