I let their words sink in. And as crazy as it all sounded, once I started to process it all, it actually made sense. I remembered the pain, as if I was having my very heart ripped from me. As if my soul had been crushed and my will to live completely destroyed.
It was how I’d feel if I lost my father, or Nicholas, or Sophie, or Lily. How Ana must’ve felt losing her daughter and her husband. In a short period of time she’d gone from having it all, to being a childless widow and all alone. No wonder she was angry. No wonder she was hurt and afraid. And I could only imagine what she’d felt when I disappeared on her, too.
Tears came to my eyes. “My Empath has been getting stronger lately,” I admitted. “Remember the other night when the Council was coming for Justin, and I channeled him for a minute? When I was speaking as if I were him?”
They nodded, their eyes wide. “Yeah, that was trippy,” Sophie agreed. “But we just chalked it up to the crazy stress. Have there been other times something odd or unexplainable has happened?”
I shut my eyes. How was I supposed to tell them about what I’d confessed to Nicholas? How their actions had hurt me so much, when really, they hadn’t done anything wrong? That I was completely overreacting?
I shook my head.
“Come on, Cal, tell us. We won’t judge you. We love you.” Lily gripped my hand, and her affection flowed through me, giving me the courage I needed. I looked up.
“It wasn’t like what happened this morning with Ana, or like that night with Justin. But yesterday, when I was at the cabin with Nicholas…” I paused.
“Yes, go on,” Sophie prompted.
“Well, when I left here… I was just so destroyed. By you”. I forced myself to look them in the eye. “Of all the things that happened… finding out about my mom, about my dad, having Justin taken away, and Ana almost killing Nicholas… the thing that was physically hurting me the most was that I felt so betrayed by you guys. That you had turned against me and kept secrets behind my back.”
“But—”
“I know, I know,” I cut Lily off. “I know you weren’t doing that. And Nicholas helped me to see just how irrational I was being. But it didn’t change how I felt. Like you had turned on me and chosen each other over me. We were supposed to be a Morningstar Trinity, but you were excluding me.”
We were quiet for a while, and the sadness in the room was almost tangible. Finally Sophie spoke up. “I know why you felt like that.”
“You do?”
Sophie nodded. “Yeah, I do. You felt it because that’s what we were feeling. We felt like you were ripped away from us, but it was worse than that because you chose Nicholas over us. You turned on us and left the group, not the other way around. You were the one who gave up your Triple Moon amulet, even though I see you have it back now.” She raised an eyebrow.
I reached for the orange diamond with my blood-stained hand and grasped it tight.
“It killed us that you would leave like that, and we couldn’t get a hold of you or find you or hear you or anything,” Lily continued. “And you did this knowing that we were concerned about you. And you didn’t seem to care. What you were picking up on was how terrible we were feeling, too, because I can’t remember a time in my life that I felt so awful, right down to my bones.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I was too stunned to even cry. That explained it. I was being forced to experience their suffering. It wasn’t just my own misery I’d felt, it was Lily and Sophie’s as well.
I closed my eyes and shook my head in disbelief. Of all the powers out there… flying, shimmering, Healing, spellcasting, Seeing, you name it… this was what I got? The amazing ability to be a big overly-sensitive emotional wreck who almost killed myself out of my own self-pity? That was my great power? You’ve got to be freakin’ kidding me!
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my head low. “You have to know I never meant to hurt you like that. I wasn’t leaving you forever. I’d never abandon us. I just needed to get away. Everything was so crazy. Ana was siccing Drakonas and Ecudiar on Nicholas, and you guys seemed so mad at me. I just needed to get away. Surely you can understand that.”
Sophie looked uncomfortable, and she and Lily exchanged glances. “Sure, we get it.” She gave a little grin. “But don’t ever do it again!”
The three of us locked gazes. “Deal,” I agreed, and smiled back. “So am I really supposed to stay here? Like I’m in magic jail?”
They nodded. “Yes,” Lily said. “But not for very long. Just until Ana and the others can come up with something to help you control your Empath inflow, as they called it. No one wants anything bad to happen to you.”
I glanced down at the bracelet Ana had given me soon after I’d moved here and started school. The tiny lavender and white flowers were as fresh and sweet-smelling as if they’d been picked that morning. But clearly they weren’t as effective as I needed them to be now. “Does this come in a full-body suit?” I joked, as I fingered the delicate buds.
Lily grinned. “Something tells me you’ll need more than some enchanted flora to block your powers. From what Ana was saying, they were some of the strongest she’d ever felt from another witch before. It surprised her how intense your episode was.”
“She could feel it too?” I asked.
Sophie nodded. “Yup. Only part, though, and she said it nearly knocked her to the ground. She can’t imagine how deep your powers go.”
“Just imagine when you get your Rings,” Lily mused.
My eyes widened. “You mean it will get stronger?” Now I was really alarmed. If it was this bad now, before I had my Rings, and our powers were supposed to be all ‘enhanced’ after that secret ritual…what would become of me? Would I have to stay locked away from the world forever for fear of having an Empathic meltdown? Would I be forced to stay out of sight and protected from society in my own magically padded room?
But as I glanced around, I had to admit that as far as enchanted jail cells went, this one wasn’t half bad. The view from the floor-to-ceiling panoramic windows made it seem like we were looking down on the treetops, even though we were technically only on the third floor. The room was now easily the size of half a football field, and there was even a cascading waterfall and small pond next to a fire pit in the back corners. I shook my head, and forced myself not to question how this was even remotely possible. I knew better by now than to question the reality of magic.
My gaze fell upon the round mahogany table, and I suddenly had an idea. I turned to Lily and Sophie. “Are we going to be alone in here for a while? No distractions?”
They looked at each other and shrugged. “I’m not sure how long it’ll take for them to find a protection charm for you, but it might be a few hours. Why, what do you want to do?”
“Is the only way into this room through there?” I pointed to the enormous French double doors that now stood in place of the plain, skinny one from earlier.
Lily and Sophie just shrugged again. “Probably. I know Ana enchanted it so that we can’t shimmer out, so I doubt anyone else can shimmer in.” Lily’s eyes narrowed. “Why, what’s up? What do you have in mind?”
I waved my fingers toward the doors until I heard the locks engage with a soft click. Then I went over to the table and ran my palm over the smooth wooden surface. It was slick to the touch, almost like polished glass. “I just want to try something, and I don’t want any interruptions,” I replied. “Especially not from Ana.”
I moved my hand in several small circles, then closed my eyes and imagined the large block of magical glass rising from its hidden depths. I focused all my desires and my energy on that one thing – to bring forth the Looking Stone, and for it to show me what I needed to See.
“What is it you want to try?” Sophie asked.
Suddenly I heard Lily gasp. I opened my eyes to see the large crystal slowly emerging from the table.
“I am going to find my mother.”
Chapter 9. Seeing
The r
oom was perfectly still as I stared at the opaque block. Lily and Sophie stood off to one side and watched me in awe.
“You really think you can find her?” Sophie finally asked.
I let out a deep breath. I almost said “no”, but Nicholas’s words rang through my head. ‘Only you have the power. Decide to do it and make it happen.’
I clenched my jaw and focused my thoughts. I forced myself to truly believe the words coming out of my mouth.
“Yes, I do.”
With those three syllables, a powerful surge of strength flowed through me like I’d never felt before. And with it, an incredible sense of peace. At that moment I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would find her. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow or next week. But someday soon, I would look my mother in the eye and be able to ask her all the things I so desperately needed to know.
Like why she didn’t love me enough to stay.
Sophie interrupted my reverie. “How’re you going to do it? How does that thing work?”
It struck me that she’d never seen me use the Looking Stone before. I’d just assumed it was a common tool of all witches. Apparently not.
“Like this,” I murmured, and ran my hands over the block. The milky color swirled and swayed, changing from bright pink, to dark purple, to a fiery red, then finally to the lightest pale blue.
It was ready for me.
I rested my palms lightly on the sides of the magical Stone and focused on the one thing I wanted the most. Almost instantly his face appeared, and I smiled proudly.
“See?”
Sophie glanced down, unimpressed. “See what?”
My eyebrows shot up. “What? You don’t see Nicholas standing there?”
“Nope…just a slab of gray rock.”
I glanced over at Lily. “Do you see him?”
“Just looks like a hunk of really dull, old plastic. Pretty cool how you made it appear from nowhere, though.”
This glowing crystal that was broadcasting Nicholas’s beautiful face in 3-D looked like a gray rock? A hunk of really dull plastic? I shook my head in disbelief.
“That’s so strange. To me, it’s all glowing, and I can see Nicholas perfectly.” I pursed my lips and studied his expression for a moment. “And I have the weirdest feeling he knows I’m watching him,” I added with a chuckle. I blew him a kiss and waved my hands over the Stone, ending my show.
I turned back to them. “I wonder why you can’t see what I see,” I mused. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“It’s perfectly normal.” Lily shrugged. “We each have our own different powers.”
“We’re not expected to all be able to do the same things,” Sophie added. “This kind of Seeing is your thing apparently.”
I took a deep breath and turned back to the block. “Well, let’s just hope it’s my ‘thing’ today,” I muttered.
“How can we help?” Sophie asked quietly. She and Lily had moved over next to me and were looking at the Stone.
Truth was, I didn’t know exactly what they could do, but I did know I felt my best when they were by my side, when we were connected as one unit. I held out a hand to each of them.
“You make me stronger than I’d ever be on my own. Can you focus all your energies on me being able to find her? I’ll tune into you and use our combined powers to See. Ana said my mom’s been magically cloaked ever since she ran away all those years ago, and that’s why she’s never been able to find her. But Ana’s just one. Maybe with the three of us, it’ll work.”
Sophie nodded and squeezed my hand. “Of course, we’ll do whatever we can.”
Lily agreed. “Anything you need. We’re your sisters.”
I smiled at them gratefully, and immediately the room began to get smaller and dimmer. Soon, the windows closed up, and it was as if night had fallen. We stared at the Looking Stone, just the three of us, in the dark, holding each other’s hands.
Our breathing, our heartbeats, our energies synchronized as one. I felt their powers flow through me to mix with my own. The Looking Stone lit up, first in bright neon purple, then a sparkling teal, before finally settling down to a soothing sage. The candles around the room suddenly sprang to life on their own, and I knew the three of us were connected again. I blocked out everything except the energy I was absorbing from Sophie and Lily. I gripped their hands tightly and concentrated on the glowing Stone.
I thought of what my mother looked like in the picture album I had of her… the one I’d kept beneath my bed and stared at countless nights whenever I had a moment alone. I thought of her delicate features, down to the tiny dimple on her right cheek, and the cluster of faint freckles on her shoulders. I pictured the way her brilliant, aquamarine eyes sparkled, and how her long auburn tresses kicked and curled around her face and hung down her back in bouncy waves. And although I’d never spoken with her…not in any conversation where she’d actually spoken back anyway, I imagined the sound of her voice.
In my mind, I was building the connection she’d never bothered to forge.
“The spiritual and emotional bond between mother and daughter is the strongest connection there is,” Ana had said all those months ago when she revealed to me the truth about my heritage and my bloodline. But Ana hadn’t been able to find my mom… their bond wasn’t strong enough anymore. Something terrible had happened to sever it. Was the bond between my mother and me shattered as well?
I stared deeper and deeper into the swirling Stone. Then, very slowly, an image started to form. I held my breath, and my heart thudded in my ears. My eyes burned as I forced myself to sink further into the vision forming before me.
The Stone had now turned crystal clear, and I could plainly see a rustic, older-looking white house with quaint red trim, nestled among some trees. In front was a small garden enclosed by the requisite white picket fence.
A small dog ran around in circles as a woman pinned some fresh laundry to a clothesline that moved gently in the breeze. She was petite, and wearing an ill-fitting dress. Her hair, pulled up in a knot at the base of her neck, was partially covered with a scarf. Her head was turned away, so I couldn’t see her features clearly.
But I knew.
In my soul and with my heart, I knew.
I knew even before she turned toward me and angled her head up to the sun. She gave a small smile, flashing that tiny dimple on her right cheek.
Then she glanced back toward the bouncing puppy, and I could see her vibrant blue eyes sparkle with the sun’s light.
I knew.
I knew that for the first time that I could remember, I was looking at the woman I’d spent my whole life thinking was dead.
I was looking at my mother.
And she was definitely very much alive.
Chapter 10. Blood and Tears
Although I’d suspected it, I hadn’t really known. Not one hundred percent. A tiny part of me had hoped this whole thing was some sort of crazy magical misunderstanding, and my mother really wasn’t alive and well and avoiding me and Dad this whole time.
And apparently happy about it.
My stomach flipped violently over on itself, and the world started spinning. Suddenly I felt really, really hot.
“Cal, you okay—?”
Sophie hadn’t even finished her question before I jerked my hands away, turned my head as quickly as I could, and vomited all over the floor. My abdomen twisted and knotted as I heaved again. I fell to my knees, dizzy and weak.
Sophie rushed over to me, while Lily grabbed a small blanket from somewhere and started cleaning up my mess. I retched again until there was nothing more, then I dry heaved several times as if my body was trying to rid itself of the pain.
The only problem was, the pain wasn’t in my stomach. It was in my soul.
Finally, I collapsed to the ground. I felt like I’d just been thrown off one of those carnival rides– the ones that just spin around in circles until you can’t tell up from down, left from right, and your brains feel like they do
n’t fit in your skull properly anymore.
Sophie sat beside me and propped my head in her lap. She brushed my hair back from my face and started to wipe away the sweat and tears that were streaming down my cheeks.
“Should I get my mom again?”
“No,” I moaned. “I’ll be okay. I just need a minute.”
Lily had found some water and brought me a glass. “Here…” I sat up and gingerly took a few sips. It was cool and refreshing.
“Thanks.” I was starting to feel a little better, so I attempted to stand. Sophie and Lily supported me as I hobbled back to the couch. I wiped my damp brow several times, and the once-dried blood on my hands and face was now smeared all over my sleeve. I scowled.
“Do I even want to know what I look like right now?” I muttered.
Sophie cocked her head, her mouth spread into an exaggerated grimace. “Not gonna lie to you, Callie… Don’t think dried blood and barf is your bestest look ever.”
I almost smiled.
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll get you cleaned up,” Lily said. She took a fresh tissue from a box on the end table, poured some water on it, and started wiping at my face. I sat there patiently as she rubbed and frowned. “It’s not coming off…sorry. You might need a good scrubbing with soap.”
“It’s fine, I don’t care.” I laid my head down on the sofa’s arm rest and closed my eyes. I was so tired, not only from the insanely intense Seeing session, but from the unexpected blow of seeing my mom alive and in the flesh… well, sort of. I couldn’t believe how shocked I was about it still. Until now, the idea of her being alive had been just that… an idea. Now I knew it was real.
“So what all did you see?” Lily asked in her calm voice a few minutes later. She had pulled an oversized chair up next to me and was curled up in it. Sophie sat at my feet on the other end of the couch.
“I saw her. She’s alive. I don’t know where she was, but it was definitely her…” My voice drifted away as the horrible realization sunk in. Sure I’d seen her, but where was she? She could be anywhere in the world for all I knew. And there was no way to find out…at least none that I could think of. Unless I saw her standing in front of a sign that said ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ or next to the Statue of Liberty or in front of the Eiffel Tower or something, how would I ever be able to find her?