When I was with Ana, I had feared a repeat of my near-death incident with her, but I realized that it was possible again right now with my mom. We were at least fifty feet apart, and already I felt the brutal stabbing sensation to my chest and the painful twisting in my stomach.
But I also felt something else… joy.
Our eyes locked, and a new wave of feelings hit me. Lily reached out her arm to steady me as I staggered back. “You can do this,” she whispered, and Sophie squeezed my hand. It was only then I noticed that my flames had extinguished.
I concentrated on channeling my mom’s emotions and forming them into a tight ball, like I’d done with Savannah. Instead of all her feelings running unchecked through my heart, head, and soul, they were isolated in a place that wouldn’t hurt me. I wouldn’t let them.
Timidly at first, I took a few steps forward. I could handle this. I was okay. My gaze stayed fixed on my mother… I didn’t want to look away for fear that she wouldn’t be there when I looked back. That this had all been a crazy dream.
Before I knew it, she was close enough to touch. I was desperate to reach out to her, to feel that she was really flesh and blood… my flesh and blood. But my hands remained at my side.
“Hello, Mother,” I whispered in a cracked voice. Lily and Sophie were looking at me, their eyes wide, as if they couldn’t believe what they were seeing… as if this whole thing hadn’t been real until this very moment.
My mother didn’t respond. She just stared at me with the same aquamarine eyes I saw every time I looked in the mirror. But hers had lost much of their distinctive sparkle, as if her inner light had dimmed.
“I need to talk to you. It’s important. Then I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want,” I continued.
Her mouth tightened as she fixed me with a hard glare. “And what makes you think I have any interest in talking with you?”
I felt like a hundred knives had stabbed me in my heart.
“I have some questions—”
Her eyes flashed darkly, and she inched closer. “You are trespassing on my land. I had half a mind to let you stay lost out here forever, but I figured you’d just keep coming back like the annoying brat you are. I don’t know why you’re here, and I don’t care. Now leave and never come back!” Her words actually sounded like a hiss.
“But—”
“Go! You are not welcome here! I never want to see you again. As far as you’re concerned, I’m dead to you. Now leave!”
“But you’re my mother. I’m your daughter—”
Her high pitched cackle was like fingernails scraping a chalkboard. “I don’t have a daughter.”
“You can’t mean that,” I whispered weakly, all my earlier confidence completely obliterated.
She laughed again. “Want me to show you how serious I am?” She raised her hands menacingly, and a wicked smile crossed her face.
Lily placed her hand on my arm and gently tugged. “C’mon, maybe we should go,” she said. But I shrugged her away.
I stared at my mom, unable to comprehend why she was saying these hateful words… looking for any clue as to why she was acting this way. She was a conflicted mess of pain, despair, anger and regret. But one thing was certain—she wanted me gone.
But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet. I couldn’t.
“I need to know who my real father is. I need to know what happened that night your dad died,” I blurted out.
It wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined asking her these questions, but then again, I hadn’t foreseen such a hostile welcome. Truth be told, I’d expected her to take one look at me, burst into happy tears, throw her arms around me, and beg my forgiveness for abandoning me. Which of course I would’ve done.
Her eyes narrowed again, and her wave of anger was like a slap across my face. “Let’s find out if your vision is any better than your listening!”
Instantly the black fog swallowed us up again, and we were surrounded by darkness. I stood there in stunned silence as the sting of her hateful rejection wormed its way into my heart.
Sophie held my hand tight. “Do you want to go after her?”
Even though it was pitch black and they couldn’t see me, I shook my head. A sob rose in my throat, but I swallowed it down and squeezed my eyes together as tight as I could. “She’s gone… just take me home.”
The awful sensation of the freezing ants slamming into my skin had never felt so welcome.
Chapter 20. Baptism
We stood in the middle of my bedroom, holding hands, exactly as we’d done just a short time earlier.
Except now, everything was different.
I broke away and headed into my closet, nearly face-planting on the huge mountain of dirty clothes piled up by the doorway. “Dammit,” I muttered, as I grabbed my tennis shoes and a sweatshirt.
“Callie…” Sophie and Lily’s faces showed only a fraction of the pity they felt.
“I’m fine. It’s fine. It’s over.” I pulled some running pants out of the dresser and quickly changed.
They stared at me. “Where are you going?” Lily asked.
“Prom,” I retorted and angrily laced up my tennis shoes. I tied them so tight the skin on my feet pinched. I didn’t care.
“Are you okay?” Sophie asked.
I yanked my hair up in a high ponytail, not even bothering to brush it first. “I’m great. Never better. But I really need to go running now. I’ll see you guys later.”
They looked at each other, and Lily frowned while Sophie pursed her lips. I opened the sliding glass door and left them standing there in my room, staring after me. I had to get away from them. Their feelings were too much to take.
Problem was, no matter how fast or far I ran, I couldn’t get away from my own.
“You know we’re here for you when you’re ready,” Lily’s voice floated in my mind, as I took off in a near sprint down to the beach.
“Thanks… I know. I just need to be alone for a while. Go on home; I’ll call you guys later.”
“Okay. Remember, we love you. Everything will work out. You’ll see,” Sophie added.
“Yeah… everything will be just hunky-dory peachy-keen,” I muttered to myself.
I ran along the soft sand and tried to let the lull of the ocean’s gentle waves soothe my frazzled senses. But it didn’t work. The moon broke through a thin layer of clouds, and its glowing sheen reflected off the calm waters. The shore was mostly deserted, save for a couple of lovebirds out for a romantic evening stroll. The pier festivities and Ferris wheel were closed for the winter, and the cool weather was keeping away the usual crowd of joggers and walkers. The whole area was almost like a ghost town, and that was fine by me. The fewer people around me right now the better.
I’d already decided that first thing in the morning I was going to have Ana put the anti-Emapth charm on my amulet to block everything out. I was done. Through. The only reason I’d kept my power was so I could find my mom. What a brilliant idea that had turned out to be.
When I reached the pier, I slowed down and gasped for air. My strenuous run had punished my body more than it was used to. I had no doubt that it was the fastest I’d ever made it there from my house. Unfortunately, no matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t purge my body of all the pent up frustration. It’d helped some… but not much. My endorphins were no match for my rage.
I finally caught my breath, but instead of turning around and going back home, I decided to take a detour to the end of the pier. The wind had picked up and bit at my skin, but I was still warm enough. I pulled the sleeves of my sweatshirt down to cover my hands, and folded my arms across my body.
At the end of the quarter-mile wharf was a little bench, and a row of fixed binoculars that people could look through for twenty-five cents. I took a seat and stared out over the water.
Okay… so my mom wanted nothing to do with me. Why should that be such a shock? I should’ve figured that out already, what with her not bothering to be around my wh
ole life and all. And to add insult to injury, since I’d been in Crystal Cove, she’d been just a few short miles away. Not on the other side of the country, not on the other side of the world. The next town over. And she’d never once made an attempt to contact me in any way. In fact, she had made her desire to have nothing to do with me perfectly clear.
But why? What had happened to make her cut me and Dad out of her life like that? According to him, they were happy right up until she ‘died’. And another thing, why did she keep that spell on me my whole life—the one that made it so no one ever really ‘saw’ me? Why would she do that, especially if she wasn’t in the picture? Why would she care who saw me or not?
I stood up and let out a long sigh, and watched the puffs of air that came from my mouth. I ignored the posted warning signs and leaned over the railing to gaze down at the water as it gently lapped around the pier’s tall, wooden legs. The fact was, there was no easy or logical explanation for my mom’s behavior. But something told me there was definitely more going on here than met the eye. Only problem was, if she wanted to freeze me out of her life, there really wasn’t much more I could do about it. I’d found her and gone to her and reached out to her. And she’d viciously slammed the door shut in my face.
It was over between us. Ana had been right—she was as good as dead to me.
But one thought kept plaguing me above all the others. My mom could’ve been anywhere in the world. Literally. So why was she here? Why was she so close by if she wanted nothing to do with any of us?
I didn’t know if I’d ever figure out the answer to that question, not to mention the multitude of other answers I needed from her. So for now, I just had to accept the fact that she wasn’t going to be in my life in the way that I’d hoped. And maybe I’d never know who my biological father was. But it didn’t matter. Ana had assured me I hadn’t received any magical abilities from his side, and I loved Dad with all my heart.
So other than the fact that I knew for certain that my mother was alive—and wanted nothing to do with me—nothing in my life had really changed. Things were good with Sophie and Lily. Ana and I were working on being on the mend. Nicholas was more and more amazing every day. Dad and I—
Oh my God! Nicholas… Dad… Dinner!
I quickly wiped away the tears with my sleeve and spun around, sprinting down the pier and up the beach as fast as I possibly could. What time was it? I had no idea, but I had a really bad feeling I was about to be very late for my own party. And I couldn’t imagine anything more awkward than Dad and Nicholas sitting around, sizing each other up and trying to make small talk.
I pushed myself as hard as I could, bearing down and willing my legs to move faster than they ever had. Part of me was exhilarated by this newfound rush of adrenaline. But a bigger part was mortified at the thought of Dad and Nicholas alone together. I knew Nicholas would be a perfect gentleman and Dad a gracious host, but the idea unsettled me nonetheless… I wasn’t quite sure why.
Before long the mansion was in sight, and then our cottage. I tore up the hill as fast as I could, and instead of wasting precious seconds going through my bedroom, I went straight for the sliding glass door that led to the family room and the kitchen.
I staggered in, huffing and puffing, and more than a little woozy. Dad sat on the couch holding a beer and stared at me bug-eyed, as I gasped for air. Across from him, looking perfectly comfortable on the shiny leather office chair sat Nicholas, sipping on some mineral water. He looked immaculately groomed, and was dressed in nice slacks and a pullover sweater, his hair freshly styled.
Nicholas smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye. My first reaction was to be touched that he’d made the effort to look nice and show us respect, followed by horror at my own appearance. He’d seen me look worse plenty of times, but still.
“Nice of ya to finally join us, Cal. Thought maybe you was standin’ us up.” Dad pretended to scowl at me and gave Nicholas a conspiratorial wink. Nicholas responded with a pleasant chuckle.
I glanced back and forth between the two of them. What was going on here? Had they already bonded? Was I too late?
“Hi, Dad. Hi, Nicholas.” I gave them both a weak smile. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I went for a run and lost track of time.”
I felt Nicholas’s questioning gaze, but I avoided eye contact. I couldn’t have him reading me right now. I needed to feel tough and together and strong. Not weak and exposed.
Dad stood up and wandered into the kitchen. “That’s aw’right. Gave me ‘n Nich’las here a chance to get acquainted. You need another?” He pointed to the drink in Nicholas’s hand and opened the fridge.
Nicholas shook his head. “No, sir. I’m good. Thanks.”
Dad nodded and turned back to stick his head in the icebox.
Nicholas looked at me. “You okay?” he whispered.
I gave a small grimace. “I’ve been better, but I’ll be okay. Let me just get through this night. I’ll fill you in on the details later.”
He nodded and smiled at my dad as he made his way back towards us, waving the fresh bottle.
“I gotta say this is the best tastin’ beer I ever had! Where you say you got this?”
“There’s a store in Calabasas that imports rare microbrews from Germany. My mother always has several cases in stock, but never touches the stuff. She insisted I bring you some.”
“Well, be sure an’ thank her for me.”
Nicholas nodded as Dad took a swig. “So, uh, yeah.., if you guys are okay here, I’m just gonna get cleaned up real quick.” I’d taken a few steps toward my room when it suddenly hit me that I had absolutely nothing planned for dinner. Fortunately, Dee always kept our kitchen ridiculously well-stocked, so hopefully I’d manage to throw something presentable together.
I turned back around and gave them a sheepish look. “I hope y’all aren’t too starving. I don’t have anything ready, but I’ll figure it out right after I hose off real quick—”
Nicholas jumped to his feet. “Say no more. It would be my pleasure to make something for all of us. Just go take care of whatever you need to do. I’ll take care of things out here—”
“Nicholas, no. You’re our guest. You just relax. I’ll do it. I just need ten minutes.”
He positioned himself between me and Dad. “It would be an honor if you’d allow me to do this for you,” he said with a deadly, sexy look in his eyes. I groaned inwardly. If this was the expression I could expect to see whenever he wanted to get his way, I was in big trouble.
My insides properly liquefied, I nodded.
“Besides,” he said, turning around to include Dad in the conversation. “I fancy myself to be quite the amateur chef, and I like having new people to show off for.”
“Knock yerself out, Son,” Dad said as he reached for the remote and flipped on the Lakers game.
Son?
“I’ll be fast,” I said, my eyes wide.
Nicholas winked. “I’ll be here taking care of business. It’s all under control.”
Okaaaay…
I hurried into my room and was in the shower almost before I had all my clothes off. I told myself I didn’t need to be so concerned. Obviously Nicholas and Dad were getting along famously. So maybe I should relax a little bit, too. I turned the hot water up a few more notches so that the bathroom filled with vanilla and coconut-scented steam.
This is my baptism, I thought to myself. A new me is being born right now. I’m washing away the old me who cared about having a mom and knowing who my real dad was. That girl is gone. This is the new me, one who doesn’t care at all about one Gabriella Havish McCoy, and could care less who she chooses to reproduce with. I have Dad. I have Nicholas. I have Lily, Sophie, and Ana. I don’t need anyone else.
I tried convincing myself of this as I toweled off, and decided it might be working a little. By the time I got dressed, I was feeling much better. I only thought of my mom’s angry face and her cruel words once every thirty seconds or so.
&nbs
p; I had just finished putting on some light makeup and was drying my hair when Lily’s voice popped in my head.
“Calista, you there?” She sounded weird.
I frowned. “Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?”
“We need to talk to you,” Sophie answered. She sounded strange, too.
“So talk…What’s up?” I repeated.
“In person. Can we come over?” Lily asked.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror as a sense of unease crept up my spine. “Now’s not a good time. I’m about to have dinner with my dad and Nicholas. They’re in the other room waiting for me. Just tell me what’s going on.”
They were both silent for a moment, and then Lily spoke, her low voice shaky.
“It’s Justin. He’s back… and there’s something wrong.”
Chapter 21. Dinner
I froze, my hairbrush suspended in mid-air.
“He’s back? Where is he? And what do you mean ‘something’s wrong’?” My voice squeaked a bit at the end.
“Can we just come over for a minute? We’ll be quiet,” Sophie pleaded.
I frowned and nodded. “Shimmer into my bathroom.”
They were both waiting for me when I got there five seconds later. “What’s going on? What happened to Justin?” I whispered under my breath.
Lily and Sophie glanced at each other, their faces drawn.
“Soon after I got back to my house, I overheard my parents talking. They didn’t know I’d come home,” Lily began quietly.
I narrowed my eyes. I could feel her deep concern. “What were they saying?”
She sighed. “I just heard bits and pieces, but they said something about how Justin was back and they were done with the spell, but something unexpected had happened. They said it was ‘irreversible’ and ‘there was nothing more they could do without destroying him permanently’. That’s really all I heard.”
Icy fear clenched my heart. “What happened? Where is he?”
Sophie stared at the floor. “My mom was summoned during dinner. They wanted all the Healers in the coven to go to Justin right away, and that can’t be a good sign.”