I gulped and nodded. Although what she’d revealed to me already had saved my world in so many ways, there was still so much more I needed to know.
She tucked her legs underneath her and pulled a soft blanket around her shoulders. “I’d just turned eighteen when I found out the truth about Arthur, and things came to a head with my mom. I was still with James, and being as we were so ‘in love’,” she made quote marks with her fingers, “we agreed to run away together. I cast a powerful blocking spell over us so that no one could ever track us down. I thought we were going to be able to start over fresh.” She shook her head.
“We moved to a small town just outside of Chicago. We got our own place and were working on getting settled. But dark magic has a way of turning on you, and the Love Spell was no different. I don’t know if I just hadn’t noticed, or if I was finally getting wise, but I soon realized that James’s behavior was becoming more and more erratic and unstable. He became obsessed with everything I was doing, every move I made. So much so that his whole personality started to change, and it scared me.
“It got so bad, I’d wake up and see him just staring at me while I slept. If I got up to go to another room, he’d ask me where I was going. He never wanted me out of his sight, even for a moment, and when I was, he became upset. I looked high and low for a spell that could reverse it, but found nothing. I even tried creating my own spell, but I was never able to come up with more than a temporary reprieve, and a few days later he would be even worse.”
She took a deep breath and fidgeted with the corner of the blanket. “The worst part happened one day when I’d gone to the store to do the shopping. By that point he was practically keeping me a prisoner, but for some reason he’d allowed me to go without him that day. On my way out of the store I dropped one of the bags I was carrying, and a clerk rushed over to help me. James had been spying on me the whole time, and when he saw the young man offering his assistance, he went completely crazy and nearly beat him to death.”
“Oh my God!”
She went on, clearly still horrified at the memory. “I knew I had to go… get away somehow. He’d turned into such a monster, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he turned on me as well.”
“So you ran again.”
She nodded. “I cast a temporary spell on him to render him unconscious for a few days, and I split. I went to a small town in Georgia, in the middle of nowhere and where no one knew me. I’d perfected a concealing charm for myself and thought it would be almost impossible for James to ever find me. I was nervous, but I felt safe. I’d covered my tracks well, and felt confident I’d eluded him forever. I never even told people my real name. Well, except for your father, and I gave a different last name even to him.”
“Georgia… didn’t you and Dad meet in Atlanta?”
She nodded, and I felt her light up inside. “I’d been there maybe two or three weeks and had gone into Atlanta for some shopping. I’d just started to relax and feel good about beginning my new life. For the first time I was free to be me, without the baggage of my past weighing me down. I was starting over fresh. On my own.
“But the funny thing was, the first time I saw your dad, I knew… I’d never believed in soul mates until that moment, but I knew down to my bones that he was the man destined for me. I’d already realized that my feelings for James had been nothing more than a silly crush. He’d never loved me back—not really. But with your dad…” She got a dreamy, faraway look in her eyes, and for the first time that day, some of the sparkle returned.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but it seems like you’d be a bit of an odd pairing… totally different worlds and all,” I said, thinking of Justin’s predicament with Savannah.
Her eyes widened, and she smiled. “But that’s what made it so perfect. I’d never before in my life met someone who could make me feel so wonderful just being me the way your father did. His is the purest, kindest, most gentle soul I’ve ever known, and his love completely washed away all the darkness and sorrow inside me. At least, for a while.”
So it hadn’t been pretend. Or a spell.
She gave a little laugh and continued. “You know, he may talk a little different than most people, and he may not be able to tell you the history of the Byzantine Empire or explain Keynesian Economics to you, but your father is smart where it matters. Deep, and surprisingly wise, even as a young man.”
“I know.” I choked back a sob. Then I shook my head. “So you really loved him…us. Why did you have to leave?”
She repositioned herself on her beanbag, pulling the blanket up to her chin. “I don’t know how it happened, but one day James found me. I’ll never know how he did it, but somehow he did. I’d left him behind in Chicago, and he tracked me down outside of Nashville. You’d been born just a few months before, and it was a sheer miracle that he didn’t see you that day. But I knew it was only a matter of time…”
She shook her head and lowered her voice. “He was a powerful warlock with many hidden talents, and the fact that he’d discovered my location meant that all bets were off. My new life as I knew it was over.”
Her blue eyes filled with tears, and she looked away. “It killed me to do what I had to do. But as long as James was after me, none of us were safe. I knew that he would kill Del without hesitation, and I couldn’t imagine your fate would be any better.”
“So you thought faking your own death was the only way to save us and yourself?”
She bit her lip and nodded. “My life with Del was over. And everything bad that I’d ever done was now coming back to haunt me. All the pain, the guilt, the suffering…”
She paused to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. “It was as fresh as the day it happened. I felt like I didn’t deserve to be happy anymore. I’d ruined so many lives, and people had died because of me. I couldn’t let anything bad happen to you and Del, too, because of me, and I was terrified that’s exactly what would’ve happened had I stayed. I loved both of you too much to curse you with me as a wife and mother. You both deserved better. Much better.”
She took a deep breath, and her lower lip quivered. “So I took advantage of a situation that presented itself. At first I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you behind and had taken you with me. But then, somehow, I managed to come to my senses. I realized how much Del loved you, and that he would provide you with a much better life than I ever could on the run.”
I shook my head. “I don’t mean to sound callous here, but if James was the only threat, couldn’t you have done something magical to… I don’t know… get rid of him somehow?”
Her eyes flashed darkly. “You forget he was magical, too. In fact, he’d been tapped to be a future leader of the Triple Star coven due to his wide array of powers. But the spell I’d cast had turned him psychotic. He had developed a one-track mind, and was determined either to kill me, or make me his hostage. I had barely escaped with my life, but I’d felt a murderous rage from him I had never known was possible. Attempting to kill him myself would almost certainly have resulted in my death. My only chance of survival was to run again. Disappear. This time, forever.”
“But why fake dying? Why not just leave?”
“Because of your dad,” she whispered. “I wanted him to have a good life and be able to move on without me. I didn’t want him to wonder where I was, or if I was ever coming back, or if he’d done something to drive me away. This was the only way I thought that would happen. Admittedly, I was in a terrified panic at the time, and I didn’t have much time to think through my plans.”
I shook my head. “But he’s never moved on. He’s never forgotten you.”
“I know.” She gazed at where Shasta lay curled up asleep beside her and gently stroked his head.
“And you didn’t really leave. You stayed close and just watched us.”
She nodded slowly. “I had you both under a constant cloaking spell. I spent almost all my energy every day on that, making sure you were safe.
What little energy I had left was used on spells that would change my appearance so I could watch over you undetected. I couldn’t leave knowing there was a chance he might somehow find you. I had to make sure you both were safe.”
“What ever happened to him?”
Shasta sat up and put his paws on my mom’s leg. She reached over and pulled him onto her lap. “Fortunately, my spells worked. He never found me again, or you and Del, although he spent the rest of his life searching for me. He finally committed suicide several months ago. Another life destroyed because of me.”
I was quiet for a moment. Her feelings of guilt were almost too much to handle. I didn’t know how she had managed to live with it all these years.
“So it was finally over,” I whispered. “Why didn’t you come back to us then?”
She almost laughed. “By then it was much too late… coming back from the dead isn’t exactly an easy thing to do. You and Del had settled into a nice life here, and you were turning into a wonderful young woman. I couldn’t have been prouder of you. I didn’t want to ruin your chances at a happy life.”
“You were watching us my whole life. Didn’t you see how much we struggled? How hard it was for us for so many years?” Then something dawned on me. “Wait a minute… did your spell on him have anything to with Dad never being able to keep a steady job?”
She hung her head and absently stroked Shasta’s back. “I think it might have, but there was nothing I could do to change it. The alternative was far worse. But yes, I was watching. I was always watching. And I saw how strong you were becoming because of what you had to endure. I was raised with everything a person could want, yet I couldn’t handle anything. Look what a mess I made of my life. But you… you had to survive from an early age, and it made you so strong. Hardship shapes character, and your difficult times have made you even more powerful. A few times I thought I’d have to step in and save you two somehow, but you always managed to get things going right again. The harder life got for you, the stronger it was making you, whether you realized it or not.”
“So now that this guy James is dead, we’re safe? No one is after us? What about the rest of his coven?”
“They never knew. He just disappeared with me, and as far as I could tell, he never returned back here. I’m sure a lot of stories floated around about us after our disappearance, but no one really knew the truth. No one but me, that is.”
“But we’re all safe, right? No one will hurt Dad, or you, or me?”
She nodded. “Once James was gone, you were safe. I relinquished the cloaking spell on you immediately, and my mom managed to find you that same day.” She gave a small smile. “And then before I knew it we’d come full circle, and you and Del were on your way out here.”
I noticed several framed pictures of Dad and me on a shelf and picked one up to study it. I was about eight, and Dad and I had gone to a fair. I was holding the stuffed bear he’d won for me.
“Why were you so mean to me the first time I came to see you? Why did you send me away?”
She looked down and wiped away another tear. “Because I knew it was better for you if you stayed away from me, and the only way I could think to do that was to make you believe I wanted nothing to do with you. I meant what I said before—you deserve someone so much better than me for a mom. I’ll only hurt you and Del, like I’ve hurt everyone I’ve ever loved my whole life. The only way I can stop from hurting people is to be alone, and I’ve learned to accept that fact.”
I put the picture back on the shelf and turned to her, my hands on my hips. “That’s ridiculous. Sure, a lot of horrible things happened, some pretty terrible things. And yes, you made some bad choices. But you also made some pretty amazing ones, out of love, and out of courage. You sacrificed your happiness for Dad’s and my well-being, and spent your whole life protecting us.”
I walked over to where she sat, dropped to my knees, and reached out for her hands. To my immense relief, she didn’t pull away. I held them tight and tried to make her feel how much I loved her… how much I needed her.
“No, you’re not perfect,” I continued, my voice lower. “No one is. But you know what? I’m damn proud to be your daughter, and I deserve to have a mother as wonderful as you in my life. I’ve gone without one for far too long, and although I understand why, I’m not about to go another day if I don’t have to. I’ve loved you with all my heart since before I can remember. So please come home with me, and let’s give ourselves another chance at being a family… at being happy. We all deserve it. Please.”
Tears pooled in her eyes again, and Shasta licked the side of her face. She slowly shook her head. “You really are amazing, you know that? I’ve never felt anything that strong before.”
“What?”
“Love. Forgiveness.”
I stood up and reached out, and for the first time in my memory, I actually hugged my mom. She embraced me back, and our tears flowed freely. Finally, I stepped away and looked deep into her eyes… my eyes.
“Will you come back with me?” I asked.
She took a deep breath. “What about Del…my mom? How do I…?”
“Neither one has stopped loving you for a second,” I assured her.
“Nor I them,” she whispered. “But how do I do it? How can I possibly show my face there? After all this time?”
I gave a small smile. “Well, if it helps any, Ana already knows you’re alive. And she’s been suffering too, since the day you left. She loves you so much and wants nothing more than to see you again. I know her love for you is unconditional. I’ve felt it. She could never hate you for any mistakes you’ve made.”
“Like how I could never possibly hate you,” my mom murmured.
“If you come clean with her about what really happened, you’ll feel a whole lot better. You’ve both made mistakes, and it’s time to forgive each other and move on. It’s the only way you can start to live again.”
She nodded slowly. “What about Del?” Her eyes were wary, but hopeful.
I chuckled. “Something tells me he’ll take this all in stride. Normally I would say to tell him you just had amnesia or something, but part of me thinks you can just tell him the truth… edited of course… and he’ll be okay with it.”
She looked at me with a shy smile. “Do you really think I deserve a second chance, even after everything that’s happened…everything I’ve done?” she whispered.
I pulled her in for another hug and held her tight.
“Absolutely. We all deserve one. Now let’s go home.”
Chapter 34.Celebration
Today was my seventeenth birthday. I’d told everyone not to make any fuss, that I just wanted a quiet dinner with friends and family. Sophie and Lily’s lack of argument made me immediately suspicious. They were up to something. Especially Sophie. She never needed a reason to celebrate anything, and acting like she could care less that it was her best friend’s birthday? Suuure.
I sat in front of the mirror and slowly brushed my hair, reflecting on how drastically my life had changed from one birthday to the next. It felt like a lifetime ago that it was just Dad and me sitting alone at the restaurant he’d saved up for weeks to take me to, and he had proudly given me a pretty blue sweater he’d bought second-hand.
I looked back on those times fondly, and I could barely contain my admiration for him… how strong he always was, how he was always there for me. No one deserved happiness more than he did, and judging from the emotions I had felt from him these past few months, he was in a near-constant state of euphoria. As was my mom.
I never knew exactly what it was she had said to him to explain her long absence and miraculous resurrection. Part of me doubted he even questioned it, he was just so happy to have her back and in his arms again. My heart soared with joy every day to see them together and happy again… snuggled up on the couch watching TV, or holding hands over dinner, unable to take their eyes off each other. They were like newlyweds. It was almost a bit much at times
, but it was very sweet. And all kinds of amazing.
But this had been a pretty amazing year all around. Moving to Crystal Cove and finding out I had a grandmother… and that I was a witch. Meeting Sophie and Lily… falling in love with Nicholas and having him love me back… and finally having my lost mother return to us. It had been a year full of miracles beyond my wildest dreams.
There had been some losses, too. I was still sad whenever I happened to cross paths with Justin, and he’d barely glance my way. But that was because his attention was usually focused on Savannah, and I’d never seen them happier. I took consolation in knowing that we’d done the right thing.
I’d never had another vision since that day with Savannah, and I realized that it had been a gift… letting me know that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you care about is to let them go, as hard as that may be.
Sometimes I missed being able to see-ahead like I used to, but usually I didn’t. I found out I actually liked being surprised by what life handed me. Like running in my first track race at school and actually winning. And looking up into the stands and seeing my mom and dad and Ana and all of my friends cheering me on as I received my first ever trophy—
“Hey, Callie, what’re you doing?” Lily interrupted my reverie.
I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. “I’m just sitting here trying to figure out what you guys have up your sleeves for tonight,” I thought back.
“We’re coming in,” Sophie announced. A second later, she and Lily were standing at the foot of my bed.
Sophie spun around and smiled. “See? Nothing up our sleeves… we’re totally sleeveless!” She brushed her bare arms and laughed.
“Gee, kinda dressed up for just a dinner at Ana’s,” I said, noting their beautiful silk sundresses.
“Well, you won’t let us celebrate any other way so we’re making the most of it. Is that what you’re wearing?” Sophie wrinkled her nose in disapproval and headed to my closet.