I’d be willing to let her go through with it, but what if it isn’t a boy?
It looks like a boy to me, Mother said. When I asked your daughter if her mother was carrying a little sister or a little brother, she said, A little brother! Words from a toddler are prophetic. Besides, even if it’s a girl, she could be a help to you after Yanyan grows up, and you’ll be protected if something should happen to her. I’m getting old, and once my eyes close for the last time, I won’t know a thing. I’m just thinking about you.
Mother, I said, there are rules in the army. If I have a second child, I’ll lose my Party membership and my army commission, and I’ll be sent home to tend fields. I struggled for years to leave the village, and having a second child isn’t worth giving all that up.
Are Party membership and a commission more precious than a child? It takes people to make a world. If you have no one to carry on the line, what good does it do to become a high official, even if you’re second only to Chairman Mao?
Chairman Mao has been dead for a long time, I said.
Do you think I don’t know he’s dead? I was just making a point.
The door opened with a bang. Ma, Yanyan shouted, my papa’s home!
I watched the girl totter on tiny legs up to her mother. Renmei was wearing the grey jacket I’d worn before going into the army. She was definitely showing. A red bundle, from which bits of coloured cloth peeked out, hung from the crook of her arm. She bent down and picked our daughter up. Well, now, Xiaopao, what are you doing home? she asked with an exaggerated smile.
Can’t I return to my own home? You’ve really done it this time, I said testily.
Her face, covered with dark ‘pregnancy spots’, paled, then immediately turned bright red. What have I done? she asked, raising her voice. I’m out in the field during the day and take care of our daughter at night. I haven’t done anything I shouldn’t have.
Don’t start splitting hairs. Why did you go see Yuan Sai behind my back? Why didn’t you say anything to me?
Traitor! Turncoat! Renmei put down the child and stormed into the bedroom, nearly tripping over a stool, which she sent flying with her foot. Who betrayed me by telling you?
Our daughter was wailing outside.
Mother was sitting by the stove weeping.
Stop bawling and cursing, and go with me to the health centre to take care of this, and that’ll be the end of it.
Don’t even think it! she yelled as she flung a hand mirror to the floor. It’s my child, in my belly, and I’ll hang myself from the door of anyone who tries to harm it.
Xiaopao, why not forget about Party membership and being an officer, and come home to work the field? There’s no more people’s commune, so we can work our own land and have more food than we can possibly eat. You’ll be free. I think you should come home . . .
No, absolutely not!
Renmei was tossing things around in the bedroom, making a racket.
This isn’t only about me, I said. Our unit’s reputation is at stake.
Renmei came out of the room with a large bundle. I stopped her. Where do you think you’re going?
None of your business!
I tugged on her bundle to keep her from leaving. She whipped out a pair of scissors and pointed them at her abdomen. Her eyes were red. Let go of that! she demanded shrilly.
Xiaopao! Mother yelled.
I knew what Renmei was capable of.
Go, then, I said. You might be able to get through today, but not tomorrow. One way or the other, that’s coming out.
Bundle in hand, she rushed out the door. Our daughter tried to follow her, arms spread out in front, but tripped and fell. Renmei ignored her.
I ran outside and picked the child up. She fought me and cried for her mother. With a welter of thoughts running through my mind, my tears began to fall.
Cane in hand, Mother hobbled out into the yard. Let her have the child, Son, she said. If you don’t, I don’t know how we’ll get through the days . . .
7
That night my daughter cried for her mother and nothing I did could pacify her. Check out Grandma’s house, Mother said, so I carried the girl over to my in-laws’ house and knocked on the door. Wan Xiaopao, my father-in-law said through a crack, my daughter became a member of your family when she married you. Who are you looking for here? If something has happened to my daughter, I’ll be your worst enemy.
I went to see Chen Bi. His gate was locked and the yard was pitch-black. Next I went to see Wang Gan, and pounded so long at the door the puppy on the other side set up a frenzy of barking. A light went on, and Wang Jiao came out to stand at the gate, his club dragging on the ground. Who are you looking for? He sounded angry.
It’s me, Uncle.
I know it’s you. Who are you looking for?
Where’s Wang Gan?
Dead! He slammed the door shut.
Wang Gan wasn’t dead, I knew that, but then I recalled that on my previous visit home, Mother mumbled something about Wang Jiao kicking his son out of the house, and that he was reduced to roaming the area, occasionally seen in the village, though no one knew where he was living.
My daughter cried herself out and fell asleep in my arms. I held her as I walked the streets, unable to dispel my glum feeling. Two years earlier the village had been electrified, and a streetlight had been installed alongside a pair of loudspeakers high atop a concrete pole behind the headquarters of the village committee. Several youngsters were standing around a pool table with a blue velvet surface under the light, noisily enjoying a game. A five- or six-year-old boy was sitting on a stool nearby, playing a basic keyboard. A glance at his face told me it was Yuan Sai’s son.
Not long before, a broad gate had been built in front of Yuan Sai’s house across the street. After some hesitation, I decided to go talk to him, but the thought of him removing Renmei’s IUD made me very uncomfortable. If he’d been a real doctor, I’d have had nothing to say. But . . . damn!
He was surprised to see me. Sitting alone on the edge of his kang, he was drinking and snacking on small plates of peanuts and dried anchovies, plus a large plate of fried eggs. Barefoot, he jumped to the floor and told me to sit by him, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He called to his wife for more food. Another classmate of ours, she had a face marked by light pocks, and we all called her Sesame Twist.
Not a bad living you’ve got here, I said as I sat down. Sesame Twist reached out to take my sleeping daughter and lay her down at the head of the kang. I demurred briefly before letting her take her.
His wife scrubbed the wok and lit a fire to fry a ribbonfish to go with the liquor. None for me, I said, but the oil was already crackling, filling the air with its fragrance.
Yuan Sai insisted that I take off my shoes and climb up onto the kang. I made the excuse that it would be too much trouble since I was only going to stay a minute. But he insisted, so I gave in.
What brings you here, my esteemed friend? he asked after pouring me a glass. What are you now? Battalion commander? Regiment commander?
Shit, I said. A crummy company commander. I picked up the glass and drained it. And I won’t be that for long. I’ll be back ploughing a field pretty soon.
What does that mean? He too drained his glass. You’re the classmate with the brightest future. Xiao Xiachun and Li Shou might be in college – that asshole Xiao Shangchun parades up and down the streets bragging about how his son has been given a job with the State Council – but neither one is your equal. Xiao Xiachun has broad cheeks and a narrow forehead and his ears are pointed, the spitting image of a yamen runner. Li Shou is good-looking, but good luck isn’t in the cards for him. But you, you’ve got long legs and powerful arms, and eyes like a phoenix or a dragon. If not for the mole beneath the right eye, you’d have the look of an emperor. Have that removed by laser, and though you might not make it to general or minister, you’ll go at least as high as a division commander.
That’s enough, I said. You can BS peopl
e in the marketplace if you want, but stop talking like that to me.
Those are prophetic signs, I’m telling you, knowledge that’s been passed down by our ancestors, Yuan Sai said.
Like I said, that’s enough bullshit. I’m here to get even for what you did to me.
What did I do? I’ve never done anything to you.
Who told you to remove Wang Renmei’s IUD without my knowledge? I forced myself to keep my voice down. Some busybody sent a telegram to my unit, which ordered me back home to take her in for an abortion. If I don’t, I’ll lose my commission and my Party membership. Now, Renmei has run away, so what do you recommend?
Who fed you that line? Yuan Sai rolled his eyes and spread his hands. When was I supposed to have removed Wang Renmei’s IUD? I’m a fortune-teller who calculates fortunes by numbers, yin and yang, good and evil, and feng shui. That’s what I do. Why would an ageing man like me get involved in removing IUDs? What you’re saying might not seem inauspicious to you, but it is.
No more games, I said. Everyone knows that Little Immortal is a man of many talents. Feng shui and fortune-telling may be ‘what you do’, but you have time left over to geld animals and remove IUDs. I’m not going to take you to court for what you did, but I’m not going to let you off the hook either. Before you removed Wang Renmei’s IUD, you should have checked with me.
I’m innocent, this is slander! Yuan Sai insisted. Bring Wang Renmei here to face me, and we’ll see what she says.
She ran off, and I don’t know where she’s gone. Besides, would she admit it? Would she rat you out?
Xiaopao, you son of a bitch, you’re not just anybody, you’re an army officer, and you have to stand by what you say. How dare you accuse me of removing your wife’s IUD. Got any proof? You’ve besmirched my reputation, and I’ll sue you if you make me mad enough.
All right, what it’s come down to is . . . I’m not blaming you. What I’d like from you is advice. The way things are now, what do you think I ought to do?
Yuan Sai shut his eyes, rubbed his fingers together, and began to mutter. Then his eyes snapped open. Worthy brother, he said, great joy!
How’s that?
Your wife’s pregnancy is the reincarnation of an important individual in the last dynasty. Since great secrets must not be divulged, I cannot tell you the individual’s name, but I can give you four lines you mustn’t forget: When the child is born, one, he’ll have a fine physique; two, he’ll accomplish great deeds; three, he’ll rise to unprecedented heights; and four, he’ll be invested with all the trappings of authority!
Weave your fairytales, I said, though what I heard filled me with a hard-to-describe happiness. Yes, indeed, if she could bear a son like that . . .
Yuan Sai had no trouble reading my mind. With what appeared to be a smile, he said, Heaven’s will cannot be transgressed.
I shook my head. But if Renmei has the baby, my days are over.
There’s an old saying: Heaven always leaves a door open.
So tell me.
You send a telegram to your unit saying she’s not pregnant, that it was a rumour begun by someone who has it in for you.
Is that what you consider a foolproof plan? I said with a sneer. Do you think you can carry paper in fire? Once the child is born, what about registering for residence? How about school?
Why think so far ahead, good brother? Just having the child is a victory. Policy enforcement is strict around here. Other counties are rife with ‘bootleg kids’. There’s no more collective and everyone has plenty to eat. Go ahead and raise the kid. We’re all citizens of the People’s Republic of China, and you can’t tell me that the country will declare him a non-citizen.
But if word gets out, won’t that be the end of my career?
Then there’s nothing I can do for you. Only one end of the sugar cane is sweet.
Damn that bitch, she needs a serious beating. I finished what was in my glass and got down off the kang. She’s the cause of all my rotten luck.
Don’t say that, good brother. I’ve looked at both your fortunes, and I tell you, Wang Renmei was born to help her husband achieve great things. Your successes will come from her.
Help her husband? Ruin her husband is more like it. I smiled coldly.
The worst that can happen is for Wang Renmei to have the child and you give up your career to come home and tend your field. What’s wrong with that? In twenty years, your son will rise high in the world, and you’ll live the enviable, comfortable life of a gentleman farmer. Isn’t that something to look forward to?
I wouldn’t be so upset if she’d told me beforehand, I said, but how am I supposed to swallow this sort of deceit?
No matter what you say, Xiaopao, the child in Wang Renmei’s belly is yours, and whether it lives or dies is up to you.
You’re right there, it is up to me, and I want to remind you that all walls have holes. You need to be careful.
I took the sleeping child from Yuan Sai’s wife and started walking out. As I was saying goodbye to her, she said softly, Let her have the baby, good brother. I’ll help you find a secret place to do it.
A Jeep was parked outside Yuan Sai’s gate. A pair of policemen got out and stormed through the gate. Sesame Twist tried to stop them, but they pushed her out of the way and swooped into the house. Smacking sounds and Yuan Sai’s screams emerged, followed a few minutes later by Yuan Sai himself, handcuffed and wearing his shoes with the backs stepped on, in the custody of the police.
Why are you arresting me? he protested, his head cocked to look at one of his escorts. What did I do?
Knock it off, the policeman ordered. Why are we arresting you? You know better than anybody.
Xiaopao, you have to get me out. I haven’t broken any laws!
A heavy-set woman stepped out of the car.
Gugu!
She removed her hospital mask and said coldly, Come see me at the health centre tomorrow.
8
Let her have the baby, Gugu, I said sadly. I no longer want my Party membership or my commission . . .
She banged the table with her hand, sending water splashing over the sides of the glass in front of me.
What a misfit you are, Xiaopao! This isn’t just about you. For three years the commune has not had a single case of exceeding the birth quota. Are you going to be the one to ruin our record?
But she’s tried to kill herself more than once, I said with difficulty. What if she goes through with it?
With a cold look, she said, You know local policy where that’s concerned? Don’t hide the bottle if they want to take poison, give them a rope if they want to hang themselves.
That’s cruel!
You think that’s what we want? You don’t need cruelty in the army, and you don’t need it in the cities; you especially don’t need it in foreign countries – all foreign women want is to enjoy themselves. They don’t have children in response to government encouragement, not even if they’re rewarded for having them. But this is rural China and we’re dealing with peasants. We can reason with them, we can talk about policy, we can wear out shoe leather and talk ourselves hoarse, and will they listen to us? No. So what do we do? We have no choice but to control population growth, carry out national policy, and meet our superiors’ goals. So what do we do? Those of us involved with family planning are reviled during the day and are the targets of missiles when we’re out walking at night – even five-year-old children jab our legs with awls. Gugu rolled up a pant leg to show me a large purple scab. See that? A cross-eyed little bastard in Dongfeng Village did that to me a few days ago. You haven’t forgotten what happened with Zhang Quan’s wife, have you? – I shook my head, recalling the incident in the surging river a decade or more before – she jumped into the river and we pulled her out, but Zhang Quan and his fellow villagers insisted that we pushed Geng Xiulian into the river, where she drowned. They wrote a letter, signing it in blood, that went all the way to the State Council, and in the end we were forced to sacrif
ice Huang Qiuya.
Gugu lit a cigarette and puffed so hard her sad features were swathed in a cloud of smoke. She’d gotten old, with deep wrinkles at the sides of her mouth, bags under her eyes, and a clouded look – we did everything humanly possible to save Zhang’s wife, including giving her some of my own blood, but she had a heart condition. In the end, we gave Zhang Quan a thousand yuan, which was a lot of money at the time. But even after taking the money he wouldn’t let us off the hook. He carried his wife’s body on a flatbed cart, followed by his three daughters in funeral hemp, to the offices of the county Party committee when the provincial head of the family-planning committee was in town on an inspection tour. The police sent a beat-up old Jeep to deliver Huang Qiuya, Little Lion and me to the county guesthouse. The police were surly and crude, and the way they manhandled us, you’d have thought we were criminals. The county officials wanted to talk to me, but I stiffened my neck and refused, saying I’d only talk to the provincial authority. So I walked unannounced into the visitors’ room, where he was reading a newspaper in an easychair. One look and I knew, it was Yang Lin! Now a fair-skinned deputy governor with a healthy complexion. I was furious, and the words came out like machine-gun fire – pow pow pow pow. You people up there send down your orders, and we down here run our legs off and talk till our lips split open. You want us to be civilised, talk policy, and work on the ideological state of the masses . . . while you stand there giving orders, suffering no back pain and, since you don’t bear children, you don’t know how a woman hurts! Why don’t you come down and see what’s happening, see how we work like dogs so we can be cursed, beaten black and blue, our heads bloodied, and then, if some little problem arises, instead of backing us up, you take sides with hooligans and shrews! You cast a chill over us – here pride crept into Gugu’s monologue – other people might shy from talking to high officials, but not me! When I see a high official I really start talking – it’s not that I’m a great talker, but that I’ve got a bellyful of bile. I was crying the whole time I talked to him, and I stopped to show him the scar on my head. Did Zhang Quan break the law when he hit me with his club? Did jumping into the river to save his wife and giving her my own blood count as doing everything called for by humanity and duty? By then, I was really bawling. Go ahead, send me to a re-education camp, throw me in jail, but I’m through! Tears were welling in Yang Lin’s eyes. He got up to pour me some water and went to the bathroom to get me a moist, hot towel. Work at the grassroots level is hard, he said. Chairman Mao said: Educating the peasant masses is critical. You have suffered, Comrade Wan. I know that, and so do the county officials. We have a high opinion of you. He came over and sat beside me. How would you like to come work for me in provincial headquarters, Comrade Wan? I knew exactly what he was getting at, but when I thought back to all those terrible things he’d said at the public denouncement rally, my heart cooled. No, I said firmly, that’s not for me. I’m needed here. In a somewhat rueful tone, he said, Then how about a move to the county health centre? No, I said, I’m staying put. Maybe I should have gone with him, Gugu said, just up and left. What you can’t see doesn’t bother you. If people want babies, let them go ahead and have them. Two billion, three billion, when the sky falls, the tall people can hold it up. Why should I worry about any of this? I’ve suffered all my life from being too compliant, too revolutionary, too loyal, and too serious about things.