“I want you to leave me alone.”
“I helped you out. How many people get jealous whenever I touch you?” He reaches up and brushes my hair from my face. I’m tempted to bite his finger off. “How many clubs have you gotten into because I know someone?” His lips are inches away from mine, his hand now locked around my jaw so I can’t move. “I think since I’ve done my part, it’s only fair you do yours.”
My lips form obscenities around his as he mashes them against me. I’m wiggling like crazy, trying with every bit of strength I have to get away from him. I think I got in a good hit somewhere, but he’s not letting go.
He bites down on my bottom lip, causing a yelp of pain to escape my mouth. I keep quiet after that, and he moves his kisses to my cheeks, my neck, my chest, while I still try to get out of his grasp.
Is this really happening? What is he going to do to me? How far will this go? I try to detach myself—again metaphorically—but it’s impossible. No one has ever attacked me like this before, and tears start to leak out the corners of my eyes.
One of his hands clasps my butt cheek as he moves me upstairs. My stomach plummets as I hope against all hope Sierra stays in her room. She can not see this. I don’t want her to see this.
We get to the top of the landing, and I hear a doorknob turn, but it’s not from Sierra’s room. It’s the front door which is in plain view from where Cody has me pinned. Cody hears it too and he shoots upright, letting go of me long enough that I can fix my top before someone walks in.
“Hello?”
I’m too relieved to be confused about Zak standing in the doorway. I jog down the stairs, coming within inches of his body, but stop myself from hugging him. My arms drop, and I pretend I was going to scratch my head, looking like an idiot. His puzzled face would be comical if it weren’t for the tense atmosphere. I take a small step away as Cody descends the staircase. I search deep inside my voice box for a cheery tone and blink away the water from my eyes. “Hey, uh… my dad’ll be home in a minute and he can get you that book you wanted. I’m not sure where he put it. You can sit over there if you wanna wait.”
I’m so glad Zak knows when to act stupid and when to play along. “Thanks, Zoe.” He goes into the living room and sits down, not taking his eyes off me and my now very ex-boyfriend. No way will that guy ever get near me again. Cody looks like he got attacked by fire ants with how red he is. He clears his throat and looks at me.
“I better get back to the party. You coming?”
“No.” Hell no. I don’t look him in the eyes, because now they scare the crap out of me. “I’m sick, remember?”
“Your loss.” He shrugs out the front door, and I almost break into tears right there in the entryway. But Zak’s presence shuts me off from losing it.
“Are you all right?” he asks, getting off the couch and stepping closer to me. I quickly try to erase the pain and horror from my face, putting my calm mask on.
“Yeah. I’m not feeling well, like I told Cody. So, I’m going to go upstairs and sleep it off.”
“Zoe, don’t pretend like I don’t know what just happened.”
I feel all the color drain from my body. So much for looking calm. “What do you mean?”
Zak bores his eyes into mine. I fold my arms again and stare back. He’s not going to get me to admit to anything. I’m not even sure what happened. It’s like my mind can’t catch up with the reality of it all.
“Well, next time I see him attack you like that, I’m calling the cops.”
A hard lump drops in my tummy, and I gaze out the window behind him, to the perfect view of his kitchen. I know how that kiss—or attack—felt from here, but how did it look from there?
“It’s nothing to worry about,” I lie. “Really, it’s always like that.” Now I give him a fake smile, trying to push back my embarrassment and fear.
“If that’s the case, I’m calling the cops right now.”
“Wait,” I say, coming up short on excuses. I don’t know why I care so much, or why I’m giving Zak the attitude, especially since he just saved me from something I never would’ve thought … I mean, Cody could’ve … ugh, I can’t think about it anymore. I’m getting more and more panicked, and I want to be up in my room, under my blankets so I can curl up with Wolverine and not think about what just happened. And even though Zak did something for me I can’t even think of how to repay him for, I find myself trying to keep up my fake persona. “Don’t call the cops. I… uh… we got in a fight, and he wanted to make up. And… uh, I wasn’t exactly done being mad at him, you know?” Great now I sound like a rambling fool.
Zak studies my face. His eyes search mine for any deception, but since what I said isn’t completely untrue, he lets it go.
“Okay. Sorry I barged in. I thought it was a problem.”
“No, there’s no problem.” I try to smile. “Promise.”
He studies my face once again before going out the door. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath until the hot air escapes my nose. I jog upstairs, slam my bedroom door and put on my baggy pajamas before curling up under my sheets and crying myself to sleep.
Chapter 2
Why couldn’t I have been an only child?
I wake up Monday morning filled with panic and anxiety. I don’t want to see Cody, or act like everything is okay after what happened on Friday. I don’t feel like acting at all, but since I’ve already skipped so many classes, one more and I’ll be kicked out, I sit in front of the mirror and prepare my mask for the day.
I can see Zak from my window again. He’s already dressed and shoving a large book into his bag. He’s wearing a blue plaid button-up shirt over his “Use the Force” T-shirt. I can’t believe he wears that stuff to school, even if he does look pretty great in it. I’m probably one out of two people who think that. His dark brown hair falls right above his ears, so part of it covers his eyes as I try to get his attention by coughing or sighing loudly.
He doesn’t acknowledge me at all, which I try to seem fine with. I don’t know why I want his attention so badly. He’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t see me that way, and I don’t blame him after what I did. I may swoon and sway as I look at him from across our windows, but in school, if I even glanced in his direction, I’d get shit for it.
I turn back to the mirror and let out a sigh—a real one this time. The dark circles under my eyes make it look like I’ve been on drugs for the past few days, when really, I’ve just been up every hour reliving those few scary seconds in Cody’s unrelenting grasp. My long, fake, red hair is matted and knotty from not brushing it after my shower last night. Do I have my work cut out for me this morning or what?
I plug in the flat iron and get up to dig through my closet. If I’m going to convince people I’m okay, I need something short and sexy, pushing the boundaries of the dress code. I slip on a tight miniskirt and a low-cut pink top and assess the outfit. Besides the horror that is my face and hair, I look pretty damn hot. Just like the girls in those movies. We’re on the right track, baby!
My hair takes me a good twenty minutes to untangle, and I slather globs of makeup to cover my raccoon eyes. Perfect and just in time, too. First period starts in fifteen minutes. I throw my purse over my shoulder—only losers wear backpacks—tuck my Algebra II book under my arm and head out the door.
My car isn’t in the driveway, though. Great, this shit of a morning keeps getting better and better. Even though I know it’s really childish, I stomp my foot on the cement.
Sierra!
I could strangle her until her brain starts working. It had to be her. It isn’t the first time she’s stolen my car to ditch school. Being underage doesn’t stop her from swiping my keys the second my parents leave for work.
And now I’m going to be really late. I kick off my heels and curl the straps around my fingers as I walk barefoot down the sidewalk. Just when I think my day couldn’t get much worse, I feel a light splash on my arm. How cliché. I pick up the p
ace as the rain starts to fall and fold my body around my book to keep it from getting wet. So much for taking time to do my hair. Oh, I’m going to kill Sierra!
A shiver runs up my spine, and I’m instantly regretting the short and slinky outfit. I’d take wearing my own “Use the Force” shirt over freezing to death. I consider turning back and staying home for the day, but the possibility of getting expelled propels me forward.
Why can’t I graduate without actually going to school?
I start running. The balls of my feet smack the pavement, and I pray I don’t end up stepping on anything that would cause serious damage. Rain water splashes up my legs as I run through the puddles. If I slip and fall, that’s it for my morning.
The glow of headlights flickers behind me. Maybe some fool will take pity on me and give me a ride to school.
“Zoe?”
His voice always sends a wave of butterflies through my stomach, and I can’t help the dorky grin that forms on my face.
“Yeah, it’s me!” I call back over the weather.
“Get in!”
He doesn’t need to tell me twice.
“Thanks,” I say once I’m in.
“No problem.” Zak puts the truck in first gear and eases back onto the road. Driving stick adds the sexy to this wonderful geekboy.
“Feeling better, I see.” He smirks out of the side of his mouth, and I roll my eyes.
“Shut up.” I wring out my hair on the leather seat and give him a fake grimace. He laughs as he wipes it up with one of the plaid overshirts he keeps in the cab.
We don’t talk for a few seconds while Zak messes around with the radio. How he does that while driving a manual, I have no idea.
“You know, there’s a new Spiderman documentary on this weekend.”
No freakin’ way! How did I not know about this? My heart jumps through a hoop of excitement, but I keep my face composed. “So?”
“Maybe we could watch it together. Just like old times.”
Is he for real? My dorky grin almost comes back, but I keep it restrained.
He steals a glance at me and says quickly, “It’ll be a bunch of us. Ariana’s coming, I think.”
I want to go—oh boy, do I want to—and if it was just going to be the two of us, I probably would say, “Heck yes!” But it’s not, and that’s social suicide. If I’m going to watch it…scratch that, when I watch it, I’ll do it hidden in my room with the curtains drawn and the door securely locked.
I force an amused “as if” chuckle and gaze at the raindrops slipping down the window.
“Well, you’ll miss out. Stan Lee is hosting it.”
“Who?” My voice drizzles with sarcasm, and he lets out a booming laugh.
“All right. I won’t bug you about it.”
He shifts gears again, and I see the muscles on his forearm ripple. When did he get those? He certainly didn’t have them when…ah, never mind.
My phone buzzes between my cleavage. I pull it out, trying to emphasize the fact I’m touching my boobs, but Zak focuses on the road in front of us. His indifference makes my face heat as I slide the phone open.
I need ur help! I’m about a block away from Kevin’s house. Plz hurry.
Sierra. What has she gotten into now? Even though I’m pissed at her, I suppose I should at least answer her urgent message. I fill my cheeks with air and let it come out slowly as my fingers fly across my keyboard.
I can’t. I’m gonna B late for school. Call Mom or Dad.
“You okay?” Zak looks at my face, which is still half blown up.
“Yeah.”
“You sure? You always do that when you’re frustrated.”
I narrow my eyes. “Do what?”
“Hold your breath.” His dark eyes shine with amusement, and I wish I was in the mood to appreciate that he still remembers things like that about me. Blowing up my cheeks always helped with the anxiety when I was called names in middle school.
“I’m fine.”
My phone buzzes again.
I can’t. Please! They’ll kill me if they find out I ditched school. I need you Zoe.
Argh! Curse my sisterly nature. Zak is about to pull into the school parking lot, but maybe he won’t mind being late.
“Zo?”
Oh, I love it when Zak calls me that.
“Yeah?”
He pulls into the parking lot and shuts off the truck. When he takes his hand off the gear-shift thingy, he rubs the sweat from his palm on his jeans. “You sure everything is okay?” He keeps his eyes locked on his knees. “’Cause you don’t look okay.”
Apparently, I’m transparent. “Could you take me somewhere else? My sister needs help with something.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me. Man, I wish I could do that without looking like a complete dork.
“Don’t you have enough tardies?”
“Yeah, but it sounds like she’s in trouble.”
Zak nods and starts the car, but instead of heading out of the parking lot, he pulls up to the school doors. I open my mouth to snap at him, but his concerned face stops me.
“You go to class. I’ll get Sierra.”
“But—”
“Don’t argue with me, Zoe. I can afford to be late, but you can’t. I don’t want to see you get kicked out because your sister ditched to see her boyfriend.”
“How did you…?”
“It’s not hard to guess.”
I want to kiss him. Yeah, I totally want to smack one right there on his nerdy lips. I want to wrap my arms around him and let him know how much I appreciate his concern, because I don’t deserve those worry lines he’s got on his forehead.
Okay, so I lied. He’s nothing like Peter Parker. He’s a bajillion times sexier than Peter Parker. Spider-Man ain’t got nothing on Zak Gibbons.
But we’re right in front of school. It’s bad enough I’m in the truck with him. To be seen kissing King Dork? I may as well wear my Harry Potter shirt to class.
So I mutter thank you, tell him the address Sierra just sent, and get out of the truck before anyone can see.
***
School really isn’t so bad. Class is my favorite part. I like learning new crap, especially if I connect it to Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. But I fail most of my tests on purpose. Not enough to fail the class, but to eke by without being called an egghead or a moron.
I make it to first period right as the bell rings. Ms. Weber isn’t even here yet. I take my seat in the back, where I’m usually surrounded by my self-righteous friends, but they’re all late today.
“Hey, Zoe.” Hannah waves at me, and I try to cock my eyebrow like Zak does, but I’m sure I look ridiculous. To cover, I give a demeaning little wave back. Hannah is not in my social circle. My brief acknowledgment causes her face to flush. I fight the urge to care about it. That Zoe can’t exist at school.
“Turn your phones off now unless you want me to chuck them against the wall,” Ms. Weber says as she finally walks in. She’s wearing a tight mauve dress, and her blonde hair is done up in an elegant braid. Her red lipstick and perfectly formed cheekbones make her face look flawless. Needless to say, she’s the hot teacher all the boys drool over.
My phone is tucked safely between my boobs, and Zak’s not in this class so I don’t pull it out to turn it off. He probably wouldn’t look anyway.
Ms. Weber dives into her lesson about Ancient Egypt, and I find myself leaning forward, enthralled with the information, but trying to keep my face nonchalant. Halfway through the lecture, Zak walks in like he’s just run a freaking marathon.
“Mr. Gibbons,” Ms. Weber says, folding her arms over her waist. “I believe you are in my fifth period class. You’re a tad early.”
Giggles float through the air, but Zak takes no notice of them.
“Sorry to interrupt, but they need Zoe in the main office.”
Ms. Weber turns her back on him and continues to write on the whiteboard. Zak waves me over. I take Ms. Weber’s lack of response
as an okay and grab my purse.
Someone wolf whistles, and I throw the bird out behind my back and laugh, trying to play it light so they don’t think I’m enjoying company with Lord of the Nerds, even though being inches from his cologne makes me drool like a darn puppy dog. A loud “Oooh” echoes around the room. People are so stupid, but I’m glad Zak doesn’t grab my arm to pull me into the hallway. More whistles would have ensued, and I can only do so much here.
I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who looks past his nerdy shirts and personality. Or thinks that adds to his cuteness level while everyone else writes him off. But Zak and I…we used to be stitched together in middle school. The two geeks who spoke Elvish and played Pokémon in the band pit. Gah! It took forever to rid myself of that reputation. Sure, it was fun and stuff, but I was never invited to the cool parties or asked out, like…ever.
Totally changed now, thank you very much. But I still have major anxiety attacks when I think about the stuff people said behind my back. To my face, too, I guess. Zak kind of held me together back then. Every time I’d have an “episode,” he’d pull me into the janitor’s closet—not for “seven minutes in heaven,” that’s so not what happened—and rub my shoulders till my breathing calmed, and make me recite the different shortcuts in various video games. Totally took my mind off all the nasty stuff people called me, and got rid of the tears, too. Zak was awesome like that. Always seemed to be there when I needed him.
I still don’t get what’s wrong with him, though. I mean, didn’t it hurt him, too? All the stuff people said about how dorky and loserish we were? Because it hurt me. It hurt a lot. He doesn’t seem to care. I wish I could not care, but it’s not possible. People want to be me now. Well, fake me. This is much better than crying over what people say about my Yoda backpack.
Then I think about Cody and wonder if it really is better, but shove the thought from my brain before I revert to Geek Zoe.
“What is it? Is Sierra okay?”
Zak shakes his head. “I got there just as the ambulance arrived.”
My heart drops into my butt. “What?”