Like last time, I don’t answer.
I roll to my side on the bed and fight the tears. Somehow during that I drift off. It’s probably physical and mental exhaustion combined because when I wake I’m in the exact same position and it’s early evening. I slept an entire day away. I push up into a sitting position and yawn, staring around my now-dark room. I lift my phone into my hands and see sixteen missed calls from Jax.
That makes my heart hurt.
I put the phone down and get out of bed. I walk slowly, with an aching body, out into the kitchen and make a coffee. Then I flop onto the couch, suddenly feeling like I have no purpose. My life in the past month has been so hectic, I’ve forgotten how it feels to have nothing to do. Boredom is not my best friend, and after half an hour on the couch, I’m up and pacing the room.
I’m midway through when the door busts open. I gasp and let out a little strangled scream as Jax strides in. Duke is chasing him, yelling and carrying on, telling him to stop. Jax walks up to me, determination in his eyes, and he literally hauls my body up against his. I don’t have time to think about the fact that I left my damned apartment door open, or that he’s here, because he crushes his lips down on mine.
Duke’s voice fades out and the emotions I’ve been holding back come flooding out as Jax’s mouth moves softly over mine. He kisses me like he’s never kissed me before, slow and deep, full of emotion. Tears burst forth and slide down, combining themselves with our kiss. Jax pulls back and stares down at me, a softness in his grey eyes that I’ve never seen before. He reaches up, swiping his thumb over my cheek and wiping away the tears.
“You haven’t given up on us, have you?”
I look into his eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing right now.”
“If you think you can get away from it that easily, you’re wrong, kitten.”
My smile trembles. “What makes you think I want to get away from it?”
He grins, weakly, but it’s there. “Does this mean you’re going to hang on, for me?”
I reach up, cupping his jaw. “I’ll hang on, Mr. Shields, because I think you just might be way too hard to forget.”
He kisses me softly, then steps back. “I’m going away for a meeting, just one night. When I get back, I’m taking you out to lunch. No fucking thing is going to stand in my way of getting what I want now.”
My heart explodes and more tears burst forth.
Jax studies them, then our eyes meet and hold for the longest, most intense moment.
“Wait for me, kitten.”
With that, he walks out, Duke following close behind.
I’ll wait.
I’ll always wait.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“This place is beautiful,” I say, staring at the cozy booths tucked neatly inside the Italian restaurant.
Jax managed to get an afternoon off for lunch when he got back from his meeting, and even though Devon is escorting him, I’m grateful I get to spend some time with him after everything that went down. He said he invited Red, because he wants me to meet him. I’m happy about this, because I’ve heard so much about his best friend, and I want to apologize for our first encounter.
“They make amazing food,” Jax says, sliding in beside me in the booth we’re escorted to.
Devon stands far enough away that he can’t hear our conversation, but he can still see Jax. It’s awkward, being here and having him trailing us. When Jax picked me up, Devon and I muttered words at each other, and it felt so much like we were strangers. I like Devon, I know he respects me, but because of everything that’s happened, there’s serious tension between us all. It’s going to take a while for that to disappear.
“Jax!”
Jax and I both look up to see Red appear with Tori by his side. I flinch, wanting to scream in outrage. What the hell is she doing here? Jax said it was Red, not Tori and Red. I look to him and by the expression on his face, he wasn’t expecting Tori either. I want to bury my face in my hands and scream, because this isn’t how this is meant to go. Jax and I just seem to be unable to function correctly. It almost seems like things are never going to go smoothly.
“Red,” Jax says, standing and shaking Red’s hand. “You brought Tori?”
Tori glares at Jax, and clearly the air is still stiff between them, too. Magic. This’ll make for an amazing time.
“She wanted to come,” Red grunts, flashing his eyes to me. “Hey.”
I swallow and force a smile. “Hey, Red, nice to see you.”
He nods, and I just want to shrivel up and scream. Nothing feels right about this situation. Tori and Red sit down, and Jax reaches under the table, taking my hand and squeezing. It’s reassuring. I guess this isn’t really a date, but it’s still the first time Jax and I have been out, where we don’t need to hide. The last thing I need, or want, is for Tori to be staring daggers across the table at me. Which she is currently doing.
“So, Delaney,” Red says. “We didn’t get off to a great start last time. Sorry about that.”
“I could say the same,” I say, trying to smile. “I’m sorry … it was my first day.”
Red smiles, but Tori keeps on glaring at me.
“I thought bodyguards were supposed to be men?” she says in a snotty tone.
“Well, that just shows how much of the world you’ve missed,” I say politely.
She scowls at me and Jax squeezes my hand again.
“So, Red, what’s been happening?” he asks, trying to break the tension.
“Not a lot, buddy. I’ve been looking for work. I want to move back this way.”
“What do you do?” I ask.
“I’m looking to get into the police force.”
I smile. “That’s awesome, are you having any luck?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, not unless I’m willing to give up my job back home and train here, but that’s a big loss in income.”
I nod. “Yeah, I get that.”
“I’ve got plenty of rooms,” Jax says. “You can stay in any one of them while you’re doing that. You know I wouldn’t hesitate.”
Red grins at his friend and I relax a little.
“How long have you guys known each other?” I ask.
“Most of our lives.” Red smirks at Jax. “This fucker just can’t seem to let me go.”
Three of us laugh and Tori just crosses her arms. She’s clearly still got a massive problem with me, and isn’t willing to let it go.
“Tori, Red and I have known each other a long time,” Jax says, even though I already know that.
“Yes,” Tori says. “We know everything about each other, which is more than you can say, considering you hardly know him.”
“Tori!” Red snaps. “Stop it.”
“Why?” Tori mutters. “She doesn’t know him. She’s just trying to get her claws into him…”
I flinch and turn to her. Jax squeezes my hand again but I’ve had enough. “Obviously you’ve got a problem with me, Tori, and yet you know nothing about me. All that tells me is you’re jealous.”
“Jealous?” she snaps. “Why the hell would I be jealous?”
“Because you wish it was you sitting on this side of the table.”
Red jerks, and I can see it in his face that he is fully aware of Tori’s feelings towards Jax. I wonder how that makes him feel, because I know he cares about her. What I don’t understand is why. Tori seems snappy, and rude, but I figure I’m missing something because Red obviously cares about her, and there has to be something there worth caring about. Right?
“Jax and I have sorted all of that out,” she says, her face going red. “Keep out of it.”
“If you’ve sorted it out, then tell me why the hell you’re so against me? I hurt you and for that I’m sorry, but I’ve done nothing else to you to deserve this kind of hatred.”
“You broke my nose!” she snaps.
“Jesus, Tor, let it go already,” Jax barks.
People who are eating, stop and stare a
t us. Great, this is just great. What an amazing lunch.
“Tori, enough,” Red hisses. “This is only going to cause problems in our friendship. Is that what you really want?”
“What I want,” she yells, “is for her to get lost. She’s not part of this. She doesn’t know Jax. She is just in the damned way.”
“I know him better than you think,” I snap. “And I’m not going to sit here any longer and let you speak to me like this. If you’ve got a problem with me, Tori, that’s fine, but nothing you can say will make me change my mind about this incredible man sitting beside me.” I stand and lean over the table. “Nor will it keep me from fighting to be with him. So give up.”
I step out from the table and turn, muttering, “I’m using the bathroom.”
I walk past and Devon reaches out, grabbing my arm. “That was intense,” he says.
I stop walking and stare at him. “My whole damned life is intense right now,” I say, my voice cracking.
Devon’s eyes grow soft. “You made a mistake, Delaney, but you can fix it. It’s going to take time, though.”
“I screwed my boss’ trust, I got suspended, Jax is in danger and I can’t even have a meal out with him. It seems nothing can be fixed.”
I step past him, and instead of using the bathroom, I walk out of the restaurant, using the back exit. Jax must suspect my intentions, because a moment later he appears with Devon behind him.
“Delaney, wait.”
I stop and stare as Jax walks over. When he gets in front of me, he reaches out, cupping my cheek. “I’m sorry about that.”
“We can’t even go on a date.” I sigh, dropping my head into his chest. “Everything is messed up.”
“There’s too much going on, and we’re pushing something that we’re not ready to push.”
“You don’t want to date me?” I whisper.
“God, of course I fucking do, but shit is at a breaking point. We have no privacy. It’s a mess all around, but I promise you that as soon as this is over, I’m going to take you on a date you won’t forget. It’ll be epic, I can promise you that.”
I can’t help but smile. “Oh yeah?”
He reaches up, cupping my neck and pulling me close. “Yeah. So don’t give up just yet, okay?”
“Never,” I say, pressing my lips to his.
I just hope the second date is better than the first, because right now nothing seems to be working out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“Delaney!”
I flinch and turn to look at Jed, who is snapping his fingers in my face. We’re in my apartment, watching movies and eating pizza a week later, but I’m zoned out. I don’t know why, but there’s a heavy weight in my heart I can’t shake. It’s that feeling you get when you know something isn’t right, yet you don’t know what that is.
“Sorry,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m just not with it.”
“No shit, what’s going on in that head of yours?”
“I … I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right.”
He studies my face. “What do you mean?”
“You know when you just feel uneasy, but you can’t pinpoint what it is?”
He nods. “Yeah, I hate that. Do you think it’s Jax?”
At the mention of his name, my heart clenches again. “Would you mind if I give them a call, just to check in?”
He shrugs. “Girl, if it’s going to make you pay attention, I’m okay with that.”
I nod and dial Devon’s number. He’s on Jax’s case at the moment. He doesn’t answer. Feeling panicked, I ring Jax’s number. Nothing. Odd. I call Nak next, and he answers. “Delaney.”
Not hello. Or how are you. That hurts. I respect Nak and it bothers me that he’s been let down.
“Hey, Nak,” I say softly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Have you heard from Devon or Jax?”
“Devon is here in a meeting with me and the team. I assigned Kyle to Jax for two hours. I had no other man available, and no other choice.”
“What!” I cry.
“Listen, I didn’t pick you because you’re closer to it than Kyle. I don’t have time to discuss it, I’m in a meeting. I’ll fill you in when you get back, but it’s fine, Delaney. Jax is safe.”
Then he hangs up.
I immediately rush to my room, get my gun from the safe, tuck it in my pants and pull on a coat. I don’t trust Kyle, not for a damned second. He’s angry with Jax and me, and I fear he won’t do a proper job because of that very reason. I need to know Jax is okay, and I’ll risk my job to do it.
“Whoa there, where are you going?” Jed asks when I come rushing in.
“I have to go out, wait here if you want, I’ll be back soon.”
“Delaney,” he calls, but I’m already out the door.
I catch a cab over to Jax’s hotel, but when I ask them if he’s there, they say he went back to his apartment. It’s dark out, and the city is livening up for the evening. I make my way over to Jax’s apartment, getting out of the cab just as Kyle and Jax walk out the front door and towards the car waiting for them. Why the hell are they using the front entrance, when they can leave safely from the underground parking lot?
When they see me, they stop. “What are you doing here, Delaney?” Kyle demands.
I study Jax, seeing he’s okay, but the instinct inside of me is screaming that something’s wrong.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Just heading to a meeting, but I forgot something, so we just went back in to get it and I got caught up with a phone call, but we’re fine, kitten,” Jax says, his eyes soft at the sight of me.
“It’s really none of your business and you shouldn’t be here,” Kyle grunts. “Mr. Shields, if you would, please get into the car.”
He walks over and opens the door for him.
“Did you check the car?” I say.
“Mind your business, Delaney,” Kyle grunts. “This is my job and that means it’s not your concern. Now, leave before I call Nak.”
Jax looks to me. “Everything okay?” he asks softly.
“Something just … doesn’t feel right.”
“We’re going to be late, Shields,” Kyle barks.
“I’ll come by later, let you know I’m okay,” Jax says, his eyes letting me know he’d step forward if he could.
“Okay,” I say, shaking the horrible feeling from my chest.
Jax grins at me, then slides into the car. Kyle goes to get in and as he moves his foot, I see the flash of something underneath the car. It’s silvery, but it’s definitely not part of the car. “Get out of the car,” I screech.
Kyle stops dead and Jax looks to me with concern on his face. I don’t have time to think.
“Get out, get out, get—”
Jax launches himself out of the car and Kyle, for the first time in his life, does as I say and jumps back. Just as Jax crashes into me, the car explodes. The noise is deafening and I feel like my ears are going to explode as a pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt erupts deep in my head. I scream and roll, feeling for Jax. He’s beside me, grasping for me, but I can’t see him through the thick smoke.
“Jax!” I scream.
Gunshots sound out, coming from three different angles. Through the thick, black smoke, I can see absolutely nothing. I throw my body over Jax’s, reaching around through the pain in my head and back, to pull out my gun.
“Delaney!” Kyle roars.
“Someone’s shooting!” I screech back.
Suddenly Jax bellows, a pained, agonized roar.
“Jax?” I yell.
“Shot,” he gasps. “I got fucking shot.”
Jesus, I need to get him out of here before the smoke clears, it’s the only cover I have right now. I try to picture the front of Jax’s apartment in my head. There are thick shrubs near the entrance. That’s probably the best I can do right now. Voices are shouting, my head is pounding and there’s a strange agony in my back that’s sp
reading.
“Can you walk?” I frantically ask, hands patting him down.
“Yeah,” he grunts.
“Jax, where are you hit?” I whisper.
“Leg.”
Thank God.
I take his hand and hold my gun out with the other, leading him to the shrubs by feel alone. When we reach them, I push him down. “Get behind them. If they see you, they’ll shoot, Jax. I can’t risk that. Stay low.”
He doesn’t protest, but I can hear his pained grunts as he moves into the shrubs. I turn and the smoke is starting to clear. Kyle is on the phone, yelling, and then the gunshots start again. One goes right past Kyle and he drops to the ground, barking something into the phone. I raise my gun and shoot in the direction of the shots, still not clearly seeing where they’re coming from.
“Delaney, get out of the way!” Kyle yells.
Three men appear in the smoke and haze, and raise their guns. I don’t think, I shoot one right in the leg, sending him down with a bellow. Kyle must notice too, because the other one goes down with a roar of pain. The third takes a shot, narrowly missing me. I point my gun and shoot, hitting his shoulder, then I spin and see Kyle on the ground, grasping his stomach.
I run over, adrenaline pumping, and drop to my knees. He’s got blood coming from his belly in thick rivulets. “You’re okay,” I whisper, tearing off my jacket and pressing it to his stomach. “You’re going to be okay.” He coughs and blood splutters from his mouth. Tears prickle in my eyes as I put pressure on the wound.
The police are coming. They are. He called them. God, please tell me he called them.
I lift my head to glance at a wounded Jax still in the shrubs, and see two men approaching from the opposite direction. They’re so quiet I didn’t even see or hear them, but they’ve got their guns pointed on Jax. No. I won’t lose him. I look down to Kyle, and the blood covering my hands, but I know I have to do this.