They won’t defeat me.
CHAPTER NINE
I’m mumbling to myself as I unfold the sofa bed in the library. A woman, who introduced herself as Jax’s housekeeper, dropped off some sheets. She apparently came in to do a general clean, even though Jax’s house already looks pristine. I trust Kyle searched her. I begin making the bed, trying to ignore his words from earlier.
He was an asshole.
I’m tired of it. I doubt myself enough, and letting him and the rest of the team doubt me too is only making me more determined. I have to push past what happened today, push past Kyle’s nastiness and prove to them all and to myself that I am cut out for this job. So that’s what I’ll do. Tomorrow when I wake, I am going to kick some fucking ass.
When the sofa is made, I go over to my bag, which Kyle tossed in the room with a grunt, and pull out a pair of soft sweatpants and a tank. I lock the door and get changed, then I climb into the bed. It’s surprisingly comfortable, and I feel my eyes drooping with the exhaustion of my first day. I roll over and grab my phone, turning it on quickly before my eyes close and I’m out of it.
There are two messages, one from Jed and one from Mitch. I open the one from Jed first.
Jed—How was your first day, super woman?
I smile and respond.
Delaney—It was awful. I’ll tell you about it next time I see you.
Jed—That bad huh?
Delaney—Yup. I’m going to have a sleep while I can, I’ll call you tomorrow.
Jed—Night, milk thief.
I grin and open Mitch’s message.
Mitch—Hey beautiful, how was your day?
God I love these guys.
Delaney—I crash tackled the wrong woman to the floor and nearly lost my job. Yours?
Mitch—Fuck, that sounds shit. How’d the boss take it?
Delaney—He was surprisingly good. Anyway tomorrow is another day.
Mitch—You’ve got this. You’ve had it from the start. Don’t let anyone push you out of something you’ve worked so hard for.
My heart clenches and I smile at the phone.
Delaney—Thank you, Mitch. That means more than you know.
With a smile, I tuck the phone under the pillow and roll to my side, feeling a little better. Mitch is right, I know he is. I just have to believe it.
* * *
It’s midnight, or just past, by the time I stir. I’m bursting to use the bathroom, but I’ve been holding back, trying to avoid going out there until all the noise has settled down. Jax must have had company, because I heard some faint voices. Maybe he was just talking to Kyle. I push up, out of the warm blanket, and swing my legs over the side.
Sleepily, I pad to the door, running my fingers through my hair. My eyes are hardly open, and I want them to stay that way. Pee, come back, go to sleep. Simple. I open the door, quietly stepping out into the main living area. I can’t see Kyle, but it is pitch black. I take another step and stop dead when I hear a moan. Oh shit. That moan isn’t coming from up the stairs, but instead right here in the main area. Is Jax jerking off? Right here?
Shit.
“Jax.” A woman breathes. “You know how long I’ve wanted this.”
Shit.
“I know, Tor,” Jax murmurs. “But you know we shouldn’t be getting into this.”
“Please,” she moans and I hear the sounds of kissing.
“Messing with something good. You know that, right?”
Interesting.
“Jax, come on. We both know this has been coming for a long time. Please, don’t stop touching me.”
Okay, time to leave.
I take a step back and slam into something, maybe a coffee table. I hear a curse, then a lamp flicks on and two heads lift up from over the back of the couch. I gasp when I see it’s Jax and Tori, whose nose has a piece of white tape across the bridge. My eyes widen and I press a hand to my mouth, shit, oh shit.
“Ah, I’m sorry, I needed to, ah…”
Shit, I’m stumbling over my words.
“What the hell is she doing here?” Tori cries, standing and pulling her shirt down. She’s wearing clothes, thank god.
“She’s my bodyguard, Tori,” Jax says, and I’m shocked.
He has never openly admitted that to anyone. All day he’s just pretended I’m not here. My heart aches a little.
“She nearly killed me!” Tori snaps.
“And I’d like to apologize for that,” I say. “In trying to protect Mr. Shields, I used excessive force, and I’m truly sorry. It’s my first day and I made a mistake. But now I have a job to do and I plan on doing it well from now on. Which means I’m going to be here, a lot. But my purpose is to protect Mr. Shields, and I hope that’s something you’ll support.”
Her eyes narrow. “You’re the help, and help can be replaced. In your case that should be as soon as possible so you can slither back into whatever hole you crept out of.”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak to me like that,” I say, crossing my arms. “Last time I checked, I’m still a human and therefore deserve the same damned respect. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to pee.”
Her eyes bug again, and I can’t help but notice how swollen her nose is. I do feel bad for that, however she’s not going to speak to me like a piece of useless trash. I walk into the bathroom, still thinking about the fact that Jax is having it off with his supposed “best friend.” I wonder if Red knows, because I saw the way he was looking at Tori.
Oh the tangled webs we weave.
I do my business and then head back out. Tori is gone, well, she’s not in the room anymore, and Jax is standing in the kitchen. I only notice just now that he’s wearing a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. Nothing. Else. My mouth drops open as my eyes slide over his incredibly hard, incredibly beautiful body.
He’s standing with his back to me, but even like that I can see how incredible Jax is. His back flexes and moves as he reaches for things, and the muscles beneath his skin are taut and seriously hot. His hips are narrow, dropping into a perfectly shaped ass. God. Yum. He turns and notices me staring at him. I quickly jerk my head away, and mutter, “I’m going to sleep again.”
“Why a bodyguard?”
I stop my retreat at his words. I turn slowly and stare at him. “Pardon?”
“Why did you do it? It’s not the easiest job in the world for a woman, and it’s clear you are dealt a lot of shit because of it. So why do it?”
I narrow my eyes. “Have you ever witnessed an act of true heroism, Jax?”
His eyes grow dark. “No.”
“Then you couldn’t understand.”
I go to turn again, but he keeps talking. “Enlighten me then.”
I grind my teeth and face him. “What for? So you can poke more fun at me? Don’t you think I’ve had enough for the day?”
“Come on, kitten,” he says, his voice teasing. “You and I both know you like the fun I poke.”
“Have you got a disorder?” I snap.
His brows go up.
“Because seriously, you’re broody one minute and then trying to tease the next. I’m concerned for your mental health, Mr. Shields.”
He bares his teeth at me. “Careful, kitten.”
“See,” I say, pointing to his face. “Disorder.”
He puts the cup he’s holding down and leans over, putting his elbows on the counter, resting his arms out in front of him. “I’m not asking to be a jerk, I want to know.”
“Because you heard Kyle waving his ego flag around earlier and you feel sorry for me?” I say.
“No,” he says simply. “I’m sure you’re a big girl and can take whatever that fuck knuckle throws at you. I’m asking because I want to know.”
I blink. Then burst out laughing. “Did you just call Kyle a fuck knuckle?”
He shrugs. “He is. His head is so far up his own ass I’m surprised he can walk straight.”
I can’t stop grinning.
“I??
?m glad someone else noticed,” I mutter.
“Why do you let him do that to you?”
I frown. “Do what? Speak to me like trash?”
“Yeah.”
“No offense, sir,” I say and his lips twitch. “But you spoke to me in a similar manner.”
His eyes flash and he turns away. “Yeah, well, I never said I wasn’t a fuck knuckle too.”
I am starting to think Jax Shields is more complex than I first thought.
“You really want to know why I do it?”
He nods, even though he’s not facing me.
“Well, believe it or not, I actually wanted to go into the armed forces, but my eyesight was poor. It’s always been like that and at the time, doctors could only do so much to correct it—I had Lasik but one of my eyes didn’t come as clear as they would have liked. I was devastated, because the position I wanted required perfect eyesight. A few years later I had a second surgery but the eye still didn’t improve, so I was forced to step back. After my dream went bust, I moped about, unsure what I wanted. One day I was out with my uncle, having lunch, when this man came past. He must have been someone important, because some of the ladies started fanning themselves. Anyway, he had a man dressed all in black behind him.”
Jax turns now and is watching me.
“Anyway like it was meant to be, this car drove by. The window came down and suddenly bullets were flying. My uncle pulled me to the ground, even though they were a little way ahead, but I didn’t miss the man protecting that guy. He single-handedly saved his life. I knew from that moment on that I wanted to do that—I couldn’t have the job I wanted, but I could serve and protect.”
Jax smiles. “You didn’t think of just becoming a cop?”
I grin. “No, I don’t know why but being a cop was never for me. I needed something different. I wanted to stand out.”
“Stand out you do, kitten.”
“Why are you calling me that?” I demand.
His eyes study my face. “Because you act like a tiger, but really, deep down, you’re nothing more than a scared little kitten.”
I scoff. “And you know me well enough after a day to know that.”
“Yeah,” he says simply, offering his cup to me.
I shake my head.
“How could you possibly read that much into me, in a matter of hours?”
He shrugs and leans a hip against the counter. “You took a lot of shit, but when it came to hurting Tori, you broke. I saw you crying in the car, and I saw the pain in your eyes when Kyle tore you apart earlier. You care, you’re not as tough as you’re trying so hard to be.”
“Did you forget I kicked your ass the first time we met?”
He smirks. “I went easy on you.”
I laugh and turn towards my door. “If you say so, sir.”
I reach the library and he calls out, “Maybe I was wrong about you, Delaney. Maybe you do have what it takes to do this job.”
I grin to myself and call out, “Careful, Mr. Shields, you might just come to like me.”
CHAPTER TEN
The next morning Nak calls me at the crack of dawn. With a grumble, I roll over and answer the phone. “Nak,” I say in a sleepy voice.
“Morning, Laney. Just ringing to check in. How is everything going?”
“It’s fine, I guess. I just woke up.”
“Did you do a late shift?”
I open my eyes wider. “Pardon?”
“A late shift?”
“I didn’t do any shift, Nak. Kyle told me he was doing the entire night shift and that I was off duty.”
Nak is silent. “Excuse me?”
Shit.
“It’s fine, I think he knew I was tired and—”
“He has strict orders, Delaney. You were to do half the night, and he knew it. I’m calling him. Sit tight.”
Before I can protest, he hangs up. Cursing, I get up and straighten my clothes before rushing out into the kitchen, where Jax and Kyle are standing. Kyle is just answering his phone, and I feel like hell for saying that to Nak. It just came out, I didn’t think Kyle had gone behind his back.
“Yeah, Nak,” Kyle says and my eyes flash to Jax, who is standing with a coffee in his hands, staring at me.
God, those eyes.
I turn away with pink cheeks and listen to Kyle talking to Nak. Already his face is paling and he stammers, “She made a mistake, Nak. I didn’t feel it was the best choice to put her on the night shift—considering her mistake yesterday.”
Asshole. Maybe he does need to get a good talking-to.
“Yeah, I hear you, but—”
Obviously Nak cuts him off, because Kyle’s face goes from pale to hard and he shoots daggers in my direction.
“Jesus, Nak, she isn’t ready!”
I stare at my hands, anger flashing through my body.
“I understand, sir, but she’s a danger to the—”
Kyle jerks the phone from his ear and strides towards Jax, handing it to him. “He wants to talk to you.”
Jax takes the phone. “What’s up?”
He listens, nodding.
“Fine by me. I will only be in the office today.”
He nods again.
“Yeah, no problem.”
He hands the phone back to Kyle and his eyes flicker to me, before he says, “You’re with me today, kitten. Let’s go.”
I blink.
“Pardon?”
“You, with me. Get a move on.”
I turn to Kyle, whose jaw is so tense it looks like it’s going to bust. He says something to Nak then hangs up the phone and turns to me. “Happy with yourself?”
“I didn’t do anything except tell Nak your strict instructions last night, Kyle.”
“You fucking went to him because you’re pissed at me.”
“No,” I say. “He called me and I filled him in. That’s my job. Deal with it. If you didn’t do the wrong thing, you wouldn’t be so angry.”
“You’re going to fuck this up, Delaney, because you’re too bloody arrogant.”
Oh, he did not.
“Hey,” Jax growls. “Be pissed at her all you want, Kyle, but don’t fucking speak to her like that. I have to work, Nak has put Delaney on me for the day, so you either accept that or don’t, but stop holding her up.”
I glare at Kyle and then turn and walk into the library just as my phone rings again. I pick it up and see it’s Nak. I answer. “He’s not happy, Nak.”
“You need to tell me right away if he does that again, Delaney. He has no right to give orders.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“You’re on Jaxson today. He’s only working, so you know the drill. This is your chance, Laney. Prove them all wrong. I’m sending Kyle home for a rest, because he knows he needs it. He should have done a split shift with you last night. He’ll head back in this afternoon and you can have a few hours’ break and then you can both get back to swapping shifts correctly.”
“Yes, Nak.”
“If he gives you any problems, let me know.”
“I will, thank you.”
“Kyle is a good bodyguard, Delaney, but he thinks he knows it all. Go with your instinct, become your own protector, you can only ever trust yourself.”
“Thanks, Nak.”
“Later.”
He hangs up and I quickly get changed into my uniform, making sure I’m set to go, then I head out and meet Jax at the door. I walk ahead of him, checking everything as we go. He waits in a safe location while I scan the underground garage and check his car. When it’s safe, I escort him in and his driver gets in the front seat. I slide into the back with him.
“Do you have any meetings today?” I ask, pulling my professional face back on.
“No,” he answers, equally as professional. “I’m going to be in the office all day.”
“Good.”
We don’t say anything else as we head to the hotel he works out of. When we arrive, I get out and scan the streets first, then I
escort him inside, doing the same all the way up to his office. It’s a lot more work when it’s just me, because I keep having to look back to make sure he’s okay while checking what’s in front of me.
When we reach his office, he unlocks the door and I step in first. Jax steps inside the door, back to the wall, and doesn’t move while I check the entire space, including under his bed and in his cupboards. One can’t be too careful. When it’s safe, I nod and he comes in, locking the door behind him. I stand beside the door as he goes to his desk and fires up his laptop.
“You wanna order coffee?” he asks, looking up at me.
“Sure, what do you want?”
“Black shot.”
“That’s it? No cream? No sugar?”
He stares blankly at me. “No.”
I shrug. “Whatever floats your boat.”
I go to his phone and call down my order, this was in the information we were given. All the locations Jax likes his coffee, food and beverages from that can be safely delivered. The lady on the line asks if I want a blueberry muffin also, so I pull the phone from my ear and call out, “You want a muffin?”
Jax looks up at me. “Do I look like the kind of man who eats muffins?”
“How am I supposed to know? For all I know you might like to run around your house in a tutu.”
He gives me a truly foul expression.
“Okie dokie then,” I mumble. “No muffin.”
I finish up the order and then take my spot at the door again. After half an hour, there’s a knock at the door. I check through the peephole first, and see a lady with two coffees and one blueberry muffin. I was not going to miss out on that cake-like goodness. I finger the gun in my belt as I open the door. The lady smiles at me and hands the tray over. I move my hand from my belt and take it, thanking her and closing the door.
I take Jax’s coffee over and place it on his desk, then I go back to the door and sit on a chair I drag over one-handed. I take a bite of the muffin and moan. Jax jerks and looks over at me. “Are you going to make noises like that every time something tastes good?”
“Seriously,” I say when I swallow it. “I just had a mouth-gasm.”
He blinks. “A fucking what?”
“A mouth-gasm. Like an orgasm, but in my mouth.”
“Fuck me,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Can you keep your mouth-gasms to yourself? I’m trying to work.”