“I do not understand,” said Little Fur.
I knew that no creature had ever joined the world’s dream while you cared for it, and that if it did, you would be shaken. I knew that if, in that moment, I withheld the flow, you would believe you had been severed from it.
“But I was severed!” Little Fur said. “I am!”
You were severed, but all you needed to do was to will yourself back into the flow, as you would have tried to do had the lemming not died. But because of that death, you accepted that you had been cut off from the flow as if it were a punishment. Because cut off from the flow, you saw death as evil rather than natural.
Little Fur took a shuddering breath and reached down into herself, seeking the part of her that communed with the Old Ones. She imagined the sweetness of hearing their whispering, and then she imagined reaching down through their roots into the earth.
NO! The voice of the earth spirit was urgent and full of command.
Frightened, Little Fur ceased striving. “Why not?”
If you rejoin the flow here, so close to me, I would draw you in even as I draw the flow in, said the earth spirit. That is why you had to come here severed from the flow. You must wait to reach out until you return to the surface of the world.
“You would hurt me?” asked Little Fur, shaken.
Again the earth spirit laughed, but now there was great sorrow and yearning in the sound. I love you more than you can know. If you entered the flow, I could not help but summon you to me.
“What would you have me do?” Little Fur asked.
No more than that which you have always done, Healer, answered the earth spirit. You must heal trollkind and bring it to the flow of magic.
“Heal trollkind?” cried Little Fur, aghast. “I am just—”
A true healer, as the she-wizard foresaw, said the earth spirit with finality and pride.
“I can heal wounds and hurts and sicknesses of the body, but you are talking of something else,” protested Little Fur.
I speak of the spirit, that which you have always tended even as you tended the physical hurts of any beast. The spirit of trollkind must be opened to the flow of earth magic.
“How?” Little Fur asked.
I do not know, said the earth spirit. But the she-wizard foresaw that you would find a way. I had only to bring you here for you to bring balance to this age, so that it should last long and all the trolls and elves and humans and beasts and birds and others that inhabit it can have time to Become.
“To become?” Little Fur echoed. “To become what?”
To Become all that they can become. I do not know what they can become. That is for each to discover.
“How do you know so much and not know that?”
What I know of the she-wizard and of the fall of troll-kind was told to me by the only other who has come here since the city fell—a troll princess. She was heavy with child and fleeing the outrage of her own kindred, for the father of her child was an elf.
“Ardent.” Little Fur breathed the name of her father.
Yes, said the earth spirit. That was the name the troll princess whispered as she slept. Love and sorrow were in that name. He cracked open the earth with a mighty spell that was all that remained of his power, and by pure chance it was that spell which opened a path to the lost city of Trollesund.
“My mother came to Trollesund?” Little Fur whispered.
Not at once, answered the earth spirit. First she went to her kindred, but when they learned what sort of child she carried, she realized they would slay it. So she fled again, stealing from her uncle, who was king, the last two full trollstones. The king sent his armies after her, but she came upon the way to this place, drawn by traces of Ardent. She used the magic in the stone you wear about your neck to close the earth behind her. At Trollesund she bore you, and she dwelt there for some time, but you were part elf and she knew that you would need sunlight and green and growing things.
Then, one day, she came here. You were tiny and she carried you swaddled upon her back. She was looking for mushrooms when she stumbled upon the steps to this chamber.
Little Fur looked around in wonder. “My mother was here?”
She took you into her arms and sat where you now stand. She had learned enough during her time in the city to know that she had found the last well of wild magic. The art of making stone magic was unknown to her, so she tried to command the trollstone to show her how, but that could not be done. She asked the stone to tell her how to save you. Only then did the stone show her that you lived only because you were close to a rich source of earth magic. If you went away from it, you would die. But if you did not get to sunlight and fresh air, the elf part of you would sicken. She was horrified, for this was a riddle that seemed to have no answer. At last, the stone told her that the answer lay in the well of wild magic, but that it would cost all that she possessed.
“What did that mean?” Little Fur asked.
The troll princess believed it meant that she must cast herself into the well.
“No!” Little Fur cried, as if she saw her mother before her, poised to leap.
I do not know what the stone magic vision meant, but to do what she believed she must do was dreadfully hard for the troll princess. Not because she feared death, but because she had to abandon you. She would have to trust the stone magic that told her you would be safe.
Little Fur could not imagine how her mother must have felt, sitting and gazing into the mysterious swirl inside the well, with such a terrible choice to make. Then she realized that her mother had not been alone here. She had the baby in her arms.
Me, thought Little Fur with a shiver of her heart. “I was in her arms,” she said.
Yes, said the earth spirit. She sat looking at you for a very long time; then at last she wrapped you up in the cloak she wore and hung the stone she had used around your neck. As she cast herself into the well, she touched the stone and willed you to the safest place in all the wide world for one such as you. And so you went deep into a forest of singing trees.
Little Fur drew in a shuddering breath. So that was how she had come to be in the grove of the Old Ones with only her father’s cloak and her mother’s green stone. “She died for me,” said Little Fur softly. “Both of them died because of me.”
It might also be said that they had a love worthy of a thousand songs because of you, Little Fur. Never would they have met if the she-wizard had not foreseen the world’s need for a child in whom elf and troll bloods were mingled. The troll princess hated the she-wizard, as did Ardent, because they had not understood her purposes. The she-wizard might have explained, but wizards are mysterious, and in the end they might not have believed her. Nor could the she-wizard have done what she did in any other way, given the hatred between elfkind and trollkind. Neither Ardent nor the troll princess would have agreed to the match. And even if they could have been made to see the need, any child they made would have been born of duty. But you are the child of love, and nothing is more powerful or precious than that. It made you, and in the end it made me.
“You?” Little Fur was startled.
Your mother gave her whole life, and so worked a great shaping. She bound a great mass of magic not to stone, but to itself, and so what had been elemental power Became the earth spirit, who could think and feel and choose. And so the flow of earth magic through all things became infused with your mother’s love for you. All at once it, or I, was filled with the desire to keep you safe. And as I grew and learned and continued to Become, I understood that to love and nourish you properly, I must love and nourish the world and the age in which you live.
“It was because of my mother that you know about the last age failing and hurting this age?” Little Fur asked.
She learned much in her captivity and afterward, and all that she knew she gave to me when she gave herself. And as I continued to Become, I realized that I must risk what I loved in order to save the age in which you live. It was you who
taught me that, for time and time again you risked yourself for me. And so I turned my will to trollkind, who had closed themselves to me, for I knew they must be drawn back into balance. Yet no troll would open him- or herself to me. The earth spirit fell silent.
Little Fur waited. Finally, the earth spirit said, Now you must leave this place.
“Leave?” Little Fur said, bewildered. “But you haven’t told me what to do. I don’t know how to help the trolls. They will not listen if I beg them to open themselves to you. And besides, I don’t know how to leave, because I don’t know how we got here.”
The maelstrom brought you to an old tunnel that leads to the surface. It is not closed by elf magic, but by the stone magic of King Somber. Because of that, I was able to make it let you pass through without allowing the sea to come in, said the earth spirit.
“But I can’t go back that way, can I?” Little Fur asked.
No, said the earth spirit. You must use stone magic.
Little Fur looked at the trollstone hung around her neck. “But it is empty. Unless it can be refilled?”
It cannot, said the earth spirit. But by the wall is the bag your mother carried to this place long ago. In it is the second stone she took from the king. Indeed, it is the last full trollstone in this age. You can use that and return to the surface of the world safely.
Little Fur looked at Ofred. “I must take the lemur back with me.”
You need only hold him when you will yourself away and he will be drawn with you. If he wills it, too.
“Of course he wills it!” said Little Fur, but when she looked at Ofred, he was gazing into the well, as he had been doing all through their long talk. “Ofred?” she said uncertainly.
“In the well is the end of dreams,” said Ofred.
As you dreamed, said the earth spirit to him. Will you gift yourself to me or go with Little Fur?
There was another long silence. At last Ofred stirred and sighed. “I want to go into the well, but the lemmings are waiting for me to return.”
By your dreams they will grow and Become, if you return to them, said the earth spirit.
Again Ofred sighed. “I will go with the Healer.” He looked wistfully into the well. “I did not dream that I would choose this.”
There are dreams and then there is choosing, said the earth spirit. Healer, it is time to get the last stone.
Near the wall Little Fur found the remnant of an ancient bag. Among its dusty fragments, she found a comb and spoon of yellow stone. Then she found the trollstone, clasped in tiny silver claws at the end of a blackened silver chain. She caught the chain in her fingers, and at once the stone pulsed with life. Little Fur felt the power singing in her fingers and saw a deep glow in the stone’s depth.
Do not touch it until you are ready, said the earth spirit swiftly, for it calls to me and I must fight to keep the flow from drawing the wild magic to me, and you with it.
“What must I do?” asked Little Fur, now holding the stone by its chain.
Hold the lemur and fill your mind with the wish to go to the surface of the world. Then touch the stone.
Little Fur climbed down the steps and reached for the lemur. After a long moment, he took her outstretched hand.
“Goodbye,” Little Fur told the earth spirit, looking into the well. But in her heart she thought, Goodbye, Mother.
Goodbye, my daughter, said the earth spirit.
Little Fur touched the green stone in her pocket. She filled her mind with an image of the little stony island where the lemmings awaited Ofred. For an instant, she thought she saw a troll woman reach out from the well to her, smiling.
CHAPTER 15
The Gift
It happened in the blink of an eye. One minute they were on the edge of the well in the deepest green, and the next they were standing in the cool air on the island shore. It was early morning, with one or two stars dimming in the pale sky.
This is how it must have happened when I was a baby, Little Fur thought. My mother leaped into the well and willed me to the Old Ones, and just like that, I was there.
Little Fur looked down at Ofred, who was gazing at the horizon, where the sun was just opening its eye.
“I thought I would not see it again,” he murmured. “It is more beautiful than I remember.”
Little Fur thought he sounded different, less tormented and frightened but older and sadder. Perhaps that was what Becoming meant: to grow and change; to understand more.
Little Fur felt a throb of sorrow for the old Sett Owl. Yet how could she feel sad when the old owl had been so weary and worn and had longed and yearned to join the world’s dream? It was the still magic that had kept her alive, just as the earth spirit had kept Lim alive beyond his time. Sometimes Little Fur had wondered why the still magic needed a Sett Owl, but now she thought she understood. The Sett Owl had done for the still magic what her mother had done for earth magic. She had shaped pure power and had given it purpose and will. Now Gem would serve it in the same way. Had she not heard the still magic calling to her? Had she not said it needed her? As for the old Sett Owl, she had died, but there was no reason for sadness, because she had Become all that she could be.
“I am still Becoming,” Little Fur said softly to herself.
She heard a cry of delight and saw several lemmings running toward Ofred. In a moment they were all around him, grooming his fur and crooning lovingly to him. Ofred looked at Little Fur, and then at the lemmings. For the first time, he seemed to see them properly. After a long moment, he reached out to touch Silk awkwardly with his little black paw. She ran into his lap and began to talk softly to him, and a moment later, more lemmings were on his lap as well.
Little Fur heard a cheerful bark of greeting and turned to see a gleaming dark head cleaving through the water in the still lagoon. She thought it was Danger, but when it was close, she saw that it was Trik.
“Where is Danger?” Little Fur asked.
The seal gave a soft chuckle. “He is too big now to come here, for he has changed again. If you would speak with him, you must let me bring you through the reef.”
The air was rent by a long, haunting call.
“He calls to you,” said Trik. “Will you come? He will carry all of you back to the mainland.”
Little Fur stared in wonder as a giant gray creature surfaced beyond the jagged rocks. From its head plumed a great spout of water that was carried away in rainbow veils by the wind. The creature was so big that Little Fur thought that she, Ofred and the lemmings could easily fit on its back—though it might be a damp journey! Little Fur turned back to Trik. “But how did he know we were returning?”
“The flow of earth magic told the lemmings, and they told us,” answered Trik.
Little Fur frowned. “But earth magic does not flow here.”
“It flows,” said Silk. “It did not flow and then it began to flow, and in it we saw a picture of you and the master returning. It was a sign and a blessing on this island.” There was a murmur of approval from the other lemmings.
Little Fur looked into their fervent faces, and a picture came into her mind of the seeds that they had foraged from the tree. Was it possible one or more of them had fallen as the lemmings carried them over the island, and had begun to germinate? But what a strange chance that a dead tree would wash up on this barren shore bearing seeds just in time to let the earth spirit speak to the lemmings.
Little Fur was about to will herself into the flow when she realized that she might still be too dangerously close to the earth spirit. Better to wait until she had reached the mainland. Little Fur turned to Ofred and suggested that Trik could take her to Danger and then return for him and the lemmings.
Ofred shook his head. “No,” he said. “The lemmings believe this to be the strange and wondrous territory promised them. They wish to stay here, and I will stay with them.”
“Are you sure?” Little Fur asked him.
“I am sure of nothing,” he said. “Farewell, Healer
.”
Little Fur gathered the lemur into her arms and held him close. For the first time, he held her, too. Then he let her go and she bade Silk and the other lemmings a lengthy goodbye. Little Fur hesitated to leave them, realizing that they had come so far together and had endured so much that it was hard to imagine going anywhere without them. But the lemmings had decided to stay, and she must return to the mainland.
“I will ask the gulls for news of you,” she said to them at last.
“We will send them, and when they return, they will bring us news of you and the others,” said Silk.
The lemmings all nodded, and then they flattened themselves to the ground.
“Goodbye,” Little Fur finally said. “I will miss you.” She slipped into the water, and Trik brought her through the reef to the enormous creature that Danger had become.
“Little Fur,” he sang gently.
“I did not know there were such enormous beasts in the sea,” Little Fur shouted.
“I was searching for you when I came upon a vast animal that smelled of wisdom and patience. I felt these things would be needed to find you. But, Little Fur, though the wisdom in this shape is deeper than the ocean and the patience in it is as wide as time itself, the true beauty of this shape is in its compassion and its gentleness. In such a size, to find such softness! I must understand it.”
Little Fur almost envied the shapeshifter his gift.
Danger sank until only a little of his immense form rose above the waves, like a small island, so that Little Fur could scramble onto his back. He rose up again, lifting her high above the water.
Little Fur turned to wave to Ofred and the lemmings. Then Danger began to move at a pace that seemed very slow and stately until she saw how swiftly they left the island and its white tower behind. Trik swam with them for several hours before turning back, but only after exacting a promise from Danger that he would visit her soon.