“Okay.” I twisted my fingers around the end of the reins and flattened them against my thigh. With his hat pulled down low over his eyes, I could barely see his face, let alone what emotions he was hiding, if any at all. His lips curved up in the corners and he winked. A rush of heat bloomed out of my collar and I lifted my hand in a slight wave, then turned Jenny and jogged off toward the corral.
She stood quietly while I dismounted and unhooked the gate, then pushed it wide so it would stay open until we got the entire herd in. I tickled the underside of her chin. “You’re a good girl, Jenny.”
I climbed back on and glanced up at Jake to figure out where I was supposed to go now. He waved me off to the side and I made a big circle so that I was at the back with him again. He’d slowed to an easy walk as the cows hadn’t needed much encouragement and Jenny quickly matched Breezy’s stride.
We still had a couple hundred yards to the gate. “Well, other than the rainstorm, how was your first time?”
The blush turned into a full-on wildfire as I had to remind myself he wasn’t talking about sex. “It was definitely an adventure.”
He grinned. “I think so too.” He hollered at one of the cows that broke formation before getting to the gate and quickly moved Breezy to intercept her. I kept pushing the cows forward and then dismounted, running to grab the gate. Jake pushed the last cow through and nodded to me to close the gate.
On the way by, he grabbed Jenny’s reins and held them for me while I latched the gate shut. Then he dismounted and together, we walked back to the barn. “I really couldn’t have done that without your help.”
I laughed. “Whatever. I was no help. Jenny did all the work. You’ve trained her well.”
He shook his head. “You were...” His sparkling eyes dropped to my lips as I felt myself gulp. “You were awesome, just like I knew you would be.”
“Thank you, Jake.”
Jake took Jenny from me and led both mares into the barn. “Why don’t you run up to the house and see what help Rue needs?”
“Good idea.”
I hurried to the house, but the moment I pushed through the door, it was evident that everyone had left. I wandered into the kitchen as a piece of paper fluttered off the counter. I grabbed it mid-flight and read Rue’s scrolling penmanship:
Brady and I took Marlene and the kids into town since the weather was still lousy. Leftover lunch in the fridge for you guys when you get back. I’ll be home in enough time to get dinner ready.
xo,
Rue
I folded the paper in half, set it on the counter, then pulled the dishes out of the fridge and tossed them into the microwave. While our food was reheating, I grabbed plates and silverware and tried to ignore the shake in my hands. I wasn’t sure I was ready to be alone with Jake again. Especially after it was becoming evident that we weren’t going to discuss anything important. And it wasn’t like I could ask him what we were doing, not without sacrificing my pride and I wasn’t about to do that. So maybe that meant we were still just coworkers, with no relationship to speak of? That brought up the question of whether I wanted a relationship? Of course I’d sworn to myself that I didn’t want one, that I wanted nothing to do with men in general. But now, if I were going to be honest with myself, all of that had changed.
I did want a relationship—or at least something where I felt confident and secure. I knew for damn sure that I didn’t want Jake sleeping around with other women and there was no way I was going to do that with another man. So maybe that only left a relationship? Or a weird sexual friendship? Hmm, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
Well, while I might have seriously enjoyed the sex with Jake, I also wasn’t just some floozy he could sleep with whenever he wanted. I wasn’t the type of woman to let him come and go as he pleased without respecting me. Not that I thought Jake would do that but I also figured he was something of an opportunist.
Jake came in just as the microwave buzzer went off. He jerked to a halt as he glanced around. “Where is everybody?
I shrugged. “Rue left a note saying they all went into town.”
“Oh.” He hung his hat on the hook beside the door and ruffled his hair.
I tried not to stare but he was so handsome with his dark hair falling thickly over his forehead, especially next to his bright blue eyes. I quickly put the rest of our lunch in the microwave, staring at the timer as it counted down. I didn’t want this to be awkward, but after what had just happened between us, I wasn’t really sure how to avoid it either. It would have been so much easier with Brady and everyone else here.
From my peripheral vision, I saw Jake slipping off his boots. He was almost silent as he came around the corner. The silverware drawer chimed as he leaned a hip against it.
“We’re just having leftovers. I hope that’s okay.” My voice was high and tight.
“Sounds great.” His voice was low and sultry.
All of a sudden, I was nervous. And I was sure I looked it. Glancing back at the microwave, I noticed there was still a minute left on the timer. It felt like it was the final round of some game show and there was stressful music playing in the background. Needing something to do, I grabbed the casserole dish and took it over to the table. The entire time, Jake watched me silently. On my way past him, he hooked a finger through one of my belt loops and pulled me backward.
“Hey, you.”
I froze. Not sure if I should turn around or let him reel me in. He slowly drew me closer until I was standing between his legs. His hands rested on the tops of my hips. I still hadn’t turned around, and my hands were shaking. His fingertips slid through my belt loops, he pushed one, and pulled the other, rotating me in the same spot. My gaze landed first on the square cut of his jaw, covered in that dark stubble. My hands lifted and I stroked it once.
His hands were heavy on my hips and my eyes dropped closed. I leaned into the pressure, then I was facing him and my feet slid into the arches of his. It was strangely intimate. He shifted my weight back and forth, slowly twisting me in place. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me—no hat, no shield to hide those fantastic eyes. Just him, and I wanted to drown in him. His tongue swept across his lower lip and I was mesmerized. I wanted to feel them again. My own parted on a breath and I leaned forward.
“Brady’s going to kick my ass for this,” he mumbled as our lips collided. I should have pulled back and asked him what business it was of Brady’s but I didn’t want him to stop, not even in the seconds that it would take to explain. I needed him like air and I’d never needed anyone. Not my mother, not my friends, not even my dad and certainly not a man. But Jake was... different. I wasn’t sure I wanted him to be, but there was no way to deny it. My hands lifted to his waist and I linked them carefully behind him.
His kiss was tender, and he didn’t ask for anything more than the brush of mine. When the microwave buzzer went off, he lifted his head, those blue eyes penetrating as he studied me.
He linked our fingers together and we just stood there, looking at each other, and then he smiled. “You’re something else, Posh.”
I tilted my head, smiling at him and his silly nicknames. “Oh, yeah, cowboy? I’d say you’re a piece of work too.”
We laughed and I stepped away until our hands unlinked. He moved to the table and pulled out my chair, waiting until I brought the other tray of food over. I sat and he scooted my chair in. I’d been to enough big events that I was used to that kind of thing, but somehow, it was different when this cowboy in stockinged feet did it for me versus when it was some random rich boy who was only doing it to impress my father.
I served up some salad and handed him the bowl, then did the same with the other two plates. “So, have you always been a cowboy?”
He loaded his plate and carefully set the dishes down in front of him. One shoulder lifted and fell in a careful shrug. I knew he didn’t like talking about himself, but I had to know who he was, where he was from, how he’d ended up here.
“I’ve been around cows my whole life, so I guess if that makes me a cowboy, then yes. I’m not sure I ever wanted to be a rancher though. My dad always wanted me to go off to college and make something of myself.” He lifted his fingers and made air quotes at the last part of the sentence and I got the feeling that the relationship between father and son was a strained one. I wanted to ask about it, but I also didn’t want to come off as nosy.
“So why didn’t you go to college?”
He took a bite of salad. “Like I said before, the job offer from Brady came up at just the right time. I never had the money to pay for college anyway.”
“What does your dad do?”
He took another bite and chewed slowly, staring at his plate, then he swallowed and turned those blue eyes on me. They appeared haunted. “He’s dead.”
I blinked, startled. “I’m sorry I asked.” I shook my head both in sympathy and to clear the emotion from my throat. Thoughts of my own father bubbled up and I quickly extinguished them. Jake had his own problems and I didn’t need to color them with mine.
“Don’t be,” he answered with a shrug, like it didn’t bother him, so why should it bother me?
“How long ago?”
He shrugged again and I started to wonder if that was what he did when he wasn’t in the mood to answer a question. Still, I waited, hoping he would answer.
“Couple years.”
Me too, I thought.
I wondered if voicing the similarity would give us any more of a connection, but then I decided against it. Just as I was wavering about asking how it happened, he volunteered the information.
“He got in a real bad car wreck down one of the narrow winding roads near our ranch. I was pretty sure he’d been drinking but nobody said anything about it.”
I reached over and covered his hand with mine. When he glanced down at me, I stared into those gorgeous blue eyes. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
He turned his hand over and curled his fingers around mine. “Thanks.”
We ate the rest of the meal like that, my hand in his.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Summer
I was just washing my hands when Rue came in, ahead of Marlene and the kids. I grinned and waved a wet hand at her. “How was town?”
She frowned at me. “Tell you later.”
I tipped my head. That didn’t sound good, but I knew better than to ask in front of our guests. Jake and I had just come in after setting up half a dozen jumps for me on a flat piece of land that he’d found a couple hundred yards beyond the arena. I was hoping to get a chance to ride Aria over them but tonight I had a shift at the café, so Aria was going to have to wait. I was torn between wanting a slow enough night that Sharon would send me home early and having a crazy busy night that would leave me with a pocketful of tips. God knew I needed the money to pay for Aria’s food.
Rue dropped her jacket and purse at the door, then came over, retying her hair into a ponytail as she did. “Oh, thank goodness,” she said, eyeing the pork chops in the sink. She kissed my cheek heartily. “I wasn’t sure if you’d remember we were having pork tonight.”
I looked away, embarrassed at how much I wanted her to notice my effort. “Well, I figured what was the point in making a meal plan if we didn’t stick to it?”
She kissed me again. “That’s my girl.”
I let Rue order me around so that we had dinner on the table in under thirty minutes. I didn’t see Marlene or the kids until we rang the dinner bell, then I got caught up in the excitement of hearing all about their trip to town and the exciting things they’d done and seen.
I wanted to ask questions about what Brady and Rue had been up to during the trip, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it, especially with everyone sitting at the table. Jake and Brady were deep in conversation, talking about the condition of the cows and about Jake’s suggestion that we keep them in for one more day before pushing them back out to pasture. I was curious about their conversation but I could ask Jake to fill me in later.
Marcus and Max kept me entertained during the entire meal but I kept noticing how Jake continued to glance over at me, seemingly whenever he could. It was almost unnerving, but at the same time, I liked that he was watching me. I liked it a lot.
I hurried and finished clearing plates and Rue sent me off to get ready for work. I dressed quickly in my uniform which happened to be a cute pink dress which was short and fitted, but not overly so. I left my hair down and threw on some lipstick, blush, eyeliner and mascara. Then I jogged down the stairs and came up short before I smashed into Jake as he turned the corner. His eyes widened as soon as he saw me and he pushed his hat up as he took stock of me.
“Wow.”
I blushed and looked away. Something about the way he noticed me always caught me off guard. I twisted my fingers together and stepped around him, promising myself that I wasn’t going to be taken in by those damned blue eyes again. “Bye,” I said. “I’m off to work.”
“Hey.” He looped his fingers gently around my elbow and tugged me closer. I could feel the heat of him and I was suddenly nervous that someone might walk in on us.
“Hey yourself,” I answered as I separated myself from him.
“Can I drive you?”
“If you want to, but then you’ll have to come pick me up too. And I doubt you’ll want to do that because it’ll be late.” My eyes darted to his knife-trimmed fingernails settled in the crook of my arm.
“I don’t mind.”
A shiver rolled up my spine as part of me wished he’d decline. But the other half was thrilled he wanted to make the effort. His fingers fell away from my arm and we walked to his truck together.
He opened my door and once I was seated comfortably, jogged over to his side. The ride into town was pretty quick and I noticed that neither one of us said very much—just making small talk that annoyed me to no end. I just hated feeling anxious and uncomfortable around him.
“I’ll be done around eleven or maybe sooner if it’s slow,” I offered, once we reached the café. “I’ll text you once I know.”
“I hope you get off early,” he answered with a shrug.
“Why’s that?”
He smiled that devilishly boyish grin at me. “Because I’m dying to taste you again.”
I felt myself go every shade of red as Jake chuckled at me. He lifted his hand in a quick wave and then gave me a secretive smile that instantly turned my insides to mush. I smiled back and then hurried through the front door, inhaling deeply in hopes that my heart would slow down.
***
Sharon, Kenzy and I all pulled the weight of our shifts together, each of us helping out the other. We managed to finish up the night quickly, then Sharon was showing me the door after the last customer left. “Have a good night, bug.”
“G’nite, Sharon.” I laughed that I was already picking up her accent.
Jake was waiting in the parking lot, arm slung out his open window. “Hey, good lookin’. Need a lift?”
I stopped at his door and curled my fingers over the opening, close but not touching him. “Maybe. You goin’ my way?”
He tipped his head and leaned out the window, making an overt scan of my bare legs and short skirt. “Definitely.” His voice was a growl that tickled my ears and I skipped around the truck and climbed in, all the while reminding myself that Jake and I needed to be friends again… just friends.
Why? Because I wasn’t sure what we were doing. We hadn’t had a conversation (no thanks to me) and it seemed like we were just sort of falling back into the way we always had been together with the exception that we were now sleeping together. Well, that wasn’t something I was necessarily comfortable with.
So, while I was working my shift, I’d made the decision that it would be better for us to go back to our awkward friendship, which would probably be made all the more awkward since recent events. I just wasn’t going to allow myself to become that girl who was always available whenev
er the guy she was crushing on happened to want to have sex with her.
“You make some decent money?” As he asked, Sharon flipped the outside lights of the café off, drenching the parking lot in shadows.
“Oh, I didn’t even count it yet!” I answered, legitimately excited. I pulled the wad of bills out of my purse and started counting them.
“Well?” Jake asked once I was finished.
“Eighty-nine dollars!” I beamed back at him. “Doesn’t sound like that much but that alone will almost cover Aria’s feed!”
He inhaled swiftly and without any warning, he was suddenly right in front of me, his fingers wrapped around the nape of my neck. The space between us vanished as he pulled me closer and his lips found mine. I clung to him to keep my balance, but as he deepened the kiss, I was lost to the assault and slipped my hand through the thick hair at the back of his head. He growled against me, rolling his tongue over mine. He must have taken a shower right before coming to get me, because he smelled like Irish Spring soap and his hair was still damp.
When we finally came up for air, my heart was pounding.
“Sorry,” he said with a smile that said he was anything but.
I sucked in a big breath as I berated myself for not pulling away. How were we going to be friends when the tension between us was this obvious?
“You’re just too much for me to resist,” he continued.
I smiled and lifted my face. “You give the best apologies ever.”
He let go of me and threaded our fingers together. “You want to go straight home, or you okay if we take a detour?”
The way the blood was pumping through my body, I wasn’t going to get to sleep for a while. But there was a voice in the back of my head that told me I needed to stop this. I needed to make sure things returned to how they used to be. I mean, I wasn’t going to be at Springhill forever—just through the summer and then I’d be moving on. So did I want to make this whole thing a lot harder than it needed to be? The short answer was, no, I didn’t.