Furthermore, I was pretty pissed that Jake hadn’t ever said anything about her coming here. Not that I expected him to tell me that an attractive woman was coming to stay who also happened to have a major crush on him. But he could have told me that he knew Deena freaking Markus! Especially given the fact that she was obviously someone I would be interested in meeting!
Dinner was awkward and I found myself seething silently through most of it. I wasn’t sure how long Deena was staying, but I suddenly thought that maybe my time at the ranch needed to be cut short. I stood and quickly cleared the table.
“Summer, we aren’t finished eating,” Rue complained as she motioned to her plate and Deena’s which both still had a pile of mashed potatoes on them.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said as my cheeks colored. Whether or not they were done, I needed to get the hell out of the room because if I had to witness Deena making eyes at Jake one more time, I was literally going to puke. “I’ll just get started on these,” I said as I motioned to my plate and Brady’s, which I was already carrying. Then I disappeared into the kitchen.
Ten or so minutes later, Rue came in with the rest of the plates. I glanced through the swinging doors and noticed Jake and Deena were the only ones still sitting at the table.
“I’ll help you wash up the rest,” Rue offered as she came to join me by the sink.
“How long is she staying?” I asked, trying to sound offhand and casual.
“She usually stays two weeks,” Rue answered. “I think the only reason she comes out anymore is to see that damned handsome boy.”
“You don’t say,” I answered which came out more as a mutter.
Rue didn’t say anything but she grabbed my arm to get my attention. When I turned to face her, she was eyeing me intently. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” she started.
“Tell me what?”
“That Deena was coming and that she’s head over heels for Jake,” she started and then cleared her throat. “Even though you and Jake have never admitted it,” she began and I could tell she was uncomfortable. “I’m not a fool and of course I’ve noticed what’s been going on between you both.”
“Does Brady know?” I asked, suddenly concerned for Jake because I knew that Brady would be pissed at him if he did know.
“Of course,” Rue answered with a smile that said we’d been way more obvious than we’d thought. “But he’s over it. He figures it’s not his business and I’ve convinced him to leave it between the both of you.” She shrugged. “I always hoped something would develop between you both because you just happen to be perfect for each other.”
“Thanks,” I said as I sudsed up one plate after another. “So, what’s the history between the two of them?” I continued, wishing I didn’t find the need to ask but I did.
“I don’t know for sure but it wouldn’t surprise me if there is one,” Rue started with a shrug. “But what I will tell you is that if you want that boy, you need to fight for him.” She breathed in deeply. “Not that you will have to fight hard because he’s as crazy about you as you are about him.”
“Fight for him?” I asked as I turned to face her, surprised.
“Jake and I have known each other for years and he confides in me.” She took a deep breath. “And without wanting to break that confidence, let’s just say that I know you both haven’t exactly spelled out what your relationship is because you don’t know if you’re staying or going.”
“Right,” I answered.
“Well, now’s about the time when you should really start considering that, Summer,” she continued. “You’re still young and you haven’t experienced enough to know that when life puts a good man in your path, you shouldn’t turn tail the other direction.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” she started, “that Jake is a good man. And he cares for you so much. So, if you feel the same way, you should follow your gut and follow your heart.”
I laughed. “Rue, Jake is a known flirt. Everyone around here knows that.”
“Well, I’ll admit that he’s definitely had his fair share of women but I also know that boy sometimes better than he knows himself,” she continued in that way of hers which made me want to hug her. “And I can tell you this: that man loves you, Summer. And I don’t want to see you breaking his heart.”
I was floored, I couldn’t help it. “Loves me?” I asked as I frowned at her. “He’s never said anything that even hints to love.”
“He doesn’t have to,” she insisted. “I can see it as clear as day in the way he looks at you and the things he does for you.”
The sounds of chairs against the wood floors sounded from the other room which meant Deena and Jake were finished and probably heading this way.
“I’m just saying I want you to seriously think about it, okay?” Rue finished as the door opened and Deena walked in, followed by Jake. He was laughing, presumably at something she’d said and I felt my stomach drop.
***
The next morning, Rue and I were done with our chores with a few hours to spare. Brady and Jake had taken Deena out with them and I wasn’t sure when they’d be back. I dusted the tables in the living room again, then wandered into the kitchen. Rue had put the leftovers from breakfast away and now wiped her hands on her apron. “I guess we’re done. You going out to ride?”
I shrugged, feeling bad about leaving her. “Are you sure there isn’t anything we need to do for dinner?”
“Nope. It’s in the oven and everything else is done. I was going to run into town. You could either go with me on a silly errand or use the time to ride.” She smiled widely at me, knowing where I’d rather be.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
She laughed and took her apron off. “That’s foolish. It’s just a simple errand and it’d be a waste of time for you to come with me. Go ride that mare.”
I tossed my dusting rag in the hamper and changed into my boots. Aria whinnied when I came in. “Hey, girl.” I hadn’t had such a huge block of time to spend with her since we’d showed up here. But now everyone was gone and I didn’t even have to work that night. I could ride straight through dinner if I wanted. And at the thought of watching Deena and Jake flirt with each other, I thought it wasn’t a half bad idea.
The air was crisp with the bite of the coming fall but the leaves were still on the trees. After saddling her up, I led Aria into the arena and warmed her up. Then we headed for the jumps. I’d had Jake build me some cross-country jumps in the wide spot of trees that lined one of the pastures. I hadn’t had time to try them out yet and I was dying to take Aria over them.
It took a few minutes for us to start working as one and then Aria minded me like she was supposed to. We flew over the jumps and I made mental notes about things I wanted to change. But, for what we had to work with, it was a great course.
I turned her back toward the small course and we raced to the final set of jumps. I leaned forward and Aria rose to meet me, clearing the fence with ease. We took all the standard jumps and I eased her down to a trot and slapped her neck heartily. She had done so well. We both had.
I felt like we’d both grown so much. I slid off and scratched the base of her ears. Aria leaned into me and tried to wipe her sweaty face on me, making me laugh. We walked through the jumps as I let her cool off, then turned toward the barn to find Deena standing in the open door of the alleyway, watching me intently.
OH. MY. GOD. I wanted to die. I couldn’t believe she’d just watched me jump and I hadn’t even had a chance to show her my best stuff. I tipped my face toward Aria and groaned.
I walked Aria far longer than necessary but after a while, it was obvious that I was stalling so I headed in. By the time I got to the stall, Brady and Jake were standing with Deena chatting.
She glanced my way and I wanted to drop my gaze so I didn’t have to make eye contact with her. My heart was pounding in my throat and I was breathing so fast, it sounded like I was p
anting.
Deena turned and practically shouted down the hallway, “Girl, I’ve seen a lot of riders in my time.”
“I’m sure,” I answered as I quickly undid Aria’s cinch. Deena walked closer.
“A lot. At every level. I’ve ridden with the best and I’ve taught gold medalists.”
“I didn’t know you were standing there watching,” I said, feeling lame all the while because it came off as an apology.
She laughed. “And I didn’t know you were here.” She elbowed Jake and I felt myself cave inside as I remembered Rue’s words. Maybe it was too late? Maybe Jake was as much in love with Deena as she was obviously with him?
“Ha,” I said with little humor. “Well, here I am!”
“Thanks a lot for telling me you were hiding this gem,” Deena laughed to Jake. “It’s a good thing we came back early, or I’d have never known.”
“We aren’t much on talkin’ around here,” Brady answered in his Brady way.
“Please tell me you compete?” Deena ignored him.
I shuffled my feet and pulled the saddle closer. “I did. But now we just ride for the fun of it.”
Her eyes widened and she glanced at Brady, who was staring out the door. “You’re just here for the summer, right?”
“Yes,” I answered. I noticed that Jake immediately dropped his smile as soon as I answered and started staring at the dirt at his feet.
“What are your plans afterwards?”
Dear Lord, could she have asked a worse question? I hadn’t figured any of that out and I didn’t want to answer in front of Jake and Brady. We hadn’t talked about any of this and I was completely on the spot. I’d been secretly hoping that if I ignored it, it would go away.
“Haven’t thought about it. I was just taking it one day at a time.” There was no way she could ignore the forced chipperness in my voice.
“You’re incredibly talented, Summer.” She shook her head like she didn’t quite believe it and stroked Aria’s hip. “Incredibly. You two were something else.”
“T-thank you.” The saddle almost slipped from my hands and I blinked rapidly as I tried to come up with something to say to someone I’d always looked up to.
Who’d just told me I could ride.
She stepped closer and took the saddle from me like she was going to help me groom Aria. “Nobody knows what the future holds. I’ve seen too many friends and colleagues put off their riding because jobs and families and circumstances got in the way. Some come back, but most of them don’t. I’d hate to see that happen to you, too.” She shifted the saddle to one hand and patted Aria again. “You have a gift.”
She turned and strode into the tack room with my saddle while I stood there looking like a moron. What in the world could I say to that? The boys were still a few feet away, listening to the entire conversation. I couldn’t meet Jake’s eyes.
Before I could move, Deena came back out with two brushes and handed me one. “It wouldn’t take much at all to get you and Aria ready for the Olympic trials. Come out to my place in California. I’ll put you up if you’ll help around the barn. I could always use a good rider to help me with some of my younger horses. And I’ll bet you could give lessons, too. How about it?”
“I, uh, I...” I couldn’t keep from glancing at Brady. He was still staring off into the pasture, not saying a word.
When I finally found the courage to check on Jake, he’d already walked away.
Chapter Thirty-One
Summer
Deena was the best of the best and she’d seen something promising in me and that meant a lot. It meant I could get back into doing what I loved, what I’d always wanted to do. But then, there was Springhill Ranch and, more pointedly, Jake.
I took a deep breath as I thought about my options. As far as Springhill went, I wasn’t sure how many options I really had. It wasn’t like Brady had promised me anything beyond the summer. For all I knew, maybe he wanted to get rid of me?
As badly as I wanted—as desperately as I needed—to go with Deena, to get back to that life that I loved, I wasn’t the same person anymore either. I was some strange version of my former self mixed with a new and, in my mind, improved version of myself. And now that I’d spent so much time becoming a different version of myself, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go back to being the old me. I liked the changes I’d seen in myself. I liked the fact that so much more mattered to me now than it used to.
My feet slowed and I deviated from the house and wandered out to the cattle pens. Everyone was up at the house and I needed some time alone. I paused at the first pen, full of yearlings, their chocolate coats shimmering in the fall sun. One came close and sniffed me with his snot-covered nose. I patted the thick curls on his forehead. The old me never would have touched a cow, but now I understood their personalities and their simple contentment. And I loved them for it.
A sharp noise startled us and the cows scattered. I looked up and found Jake at the far end of the fence, banging on a bent gate with a hammer. My heart twisted. I didn’t know what to say to him, but I walked over anyway.
“Hey.”
He hit the fence two more times, then let the hammer fall to his side. “Hey.”
I stepped closer and put my hand on his arm. He still didn’t look at me. “So, it looks like you and Deena have known each other for a while?” I asked, trying to sound casually curious but I only ended up sounding jealous—which was exactly how I felt.
“Yeah, she’s been coming here for a few years,” he answered without looking up at me. I was trying to read his body language and his words to gauge what she meant to him but I couldn’t read him at all.
“Oh,” I answered, wondering how I could ask him the question that I was dying to ask him. “She’s a pretty woman,” I started. Granted, she also looked like she was at least five years older than him but I didn’t want to sound petty. Especially because there was a good chance she was going to be my new boss. Well, unless of course she found out about Jake and me and then maybe she’d rescind her offer as quickly as she’d offered it.
“Yep,” he answered, his full attention reserved for the hammer and nail.
“And she seems to be very fond of you,” I continued.
Finally, he looked at me. “Are you going to continue to fish or are you just going to ask me directly if anything is or was going on between Deena and me?”
I was taken aback by the anger in his eyes and the tone of his voice. “Well, it’s not any of my business,” I started as I took a step back and swallowed hard.
“No, it isn’t, especially considering we aren’t anything,” he answered as he dropped his attention back to fixing the gate. “But you’re curious all the same.”
“Yes,” I answered, flinching at his choice of words. We were something but we were something that wasn’t going to last, something that couldn’t last. Not that I was going to point that out to him—especially since he seemed to be in a shitty mood to begin with.
“There’s nothing between Deena and me,” he said. “We had a fling years ago and maybe that’s the reason she keeps coming back but my affections don’t lean that way.”
“Oh.”
“Any other questions?” he asked, scowling at me again.
“Why are you so angry?”
“Because I can’t figure out why you even care if something’s going on between Deena and me.”
“What?” I asked, hardly able to believe my ears. “How can you even think that? Or say it, for that matter?”
“You’re leaving and it’s not like you and I were ever anything anyway, other than fuck buddies.”
I swallowed hard and immediately backed away. “Well, nice to know that’s how you think of me.”
“It’s not how I think of you,” he answered as he took a step toward me and towered over me, his eyes angry. “But I’m pretty convinced it’s how you think of me and I can’t say I like it… at all.”
“I don’t and never have thought of you
in those terms,” I spat back at him, folding my arms across my chest as I glared up at him. “And I would never think of you that way either.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” he answered as I started to get angry myself. I took a step closer to him.
“What’s gotten into you?” I demanded as I narrowed my eyes up at him and held my chin in a defiant way.
“Me?” he asked with a faux laugh like this was all some big joke. “What’s gotten into you? You’ve been riding the fence with me this whole time.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means that you love it when I’m giving it to you but that’s about it.”
“When you’re giving it to me?” I repeated with a frown. “Really?”
“Yeah, I can read you like a book. You like having sex with me but that’s it. Anything more than that and you don’t think I’m worthy of you.”
“That’s a total load of,” I started but he interrupted me.
“Then, when someone happens to show interest in me, you’re suddenly acting like a jealous girlfriend.” He spat the words at me. “Are you in or are you out, Summer? Gotta make up your fucking mind because you can’t have it both ways!”
“That’s what you think?” I demanded as he nodded at me. “That I’m just using you for sex because I think I’m out of your league?”
“Well, it seems like that’s exactly what’s going on here, doesn’t it?” he responded.
“Maybe you’re just used to women fawning all over you and you being the one to call all the shots so because I’m not allowing you to just use me, I’m the bad guy!” The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“I don’t use anyone,” he corrected me. “If anyone is being used in this situation, it’s me.”
“That is completely untrue.”
“Is it?” he asked with another trite laugh. “What did you come over to talk to me about anyway?” he asked, changing the subject. “I figure you want to tell me you’re leaving?”