“You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t believe you.”
“Cassie—”
“There isn’t much more to say, is there?” Cassie bit out and hung up.
***
Long after Cassie had hung up on him, Luke paced his apartment, telling himself he’d done the only thing he could. He needed to keep Cassie safe. And that meant keeping her as far away from his family as he could. Being associated with the Andrades in any way could put Cassie in both physical and legal danger. Yes, she was angry with him. Probably hurt. But all of that was preferable to risking anything happening to her because he involved her in any of this mess. Once his mother was conscious and the threat of exposure was past, Luke would go to Cassie and apologize. He’d tell her as much as he could without endangering his family and do whatever it took to gain her forgiveness.
Still he couldn’t forget the questions she’d asked him. He should have done more to reassure her he wasn’t with anyone else. Even though he’d told her he’d wanted to see her, she hadn’t believed him. Why should she? She had taken a leap of faith and come to him, a move that revealed how she felt about him even if she wasn’t willing to say the words yet.
And what do I do?
I send her packing without an explanation.
Of course she thinks the worst.
He tried to get her out of his head.
Told himself to stay away from her.
None of his rational arguments, however, could stop him from getting dressed and driving over to her hotel. He needed to see her. Somehow he had to make her understand she couldn’t stay, but that didn’t lessen how he felt about her. From the lobby of her hotel, he called her. “I’m downstairs. What room are you in?”
She let out a shaky breath. “Why are you here, Luke?”
Luke didn’t know how to begin to explain the ache inside him. His family, their lies: they were huge obstacles standing between him and what he wanted. He wanted to shed them, even if it was only for one night. “Let me hold you tonight, Cassie.”
There was a long pause, long enough Luke thought she might have hung up on him again, but then she said one thing—her room number—before hanging up. Adrenaline rushed through Luke’s veins, and he strode to the elevators with barely restrained urgency. He didn’t want to give himself time to think about all the reasons he shouldn’t be there.
She answered the door in an oversized T-shirt and shorts. In one hand she held a stack of tissues. She tossed them behind the door when she realized she was still holding them. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was red from crying, but she’d never looked more beautiful to him.
He stepped inside, slammed the door behind him, and pulled her into his arms. Their kiss was deep and hungry. Luke forgot what he’d wanted to say and gave himself over to the pleasure of her skin, the light scent of her, the way her tongue eagerly met and danced with his.
She broke off their kiss and searched his face. “I want to believe in you.”
“You can.” There was so much he wanted to say, but so little he could.
“Can I?” She pulled away from him and crossed the room. “Because what you say to me and how you act don’t match lately. Any woman would ask herself why.” She marched back to stand in front of him and faced him angrily. “Swear to me that you don’t have another woman in your life.”
“I swear.” I wish it were as simple as another woman. He didn’t say that, though. Instead he pulled her back into his arms. “There is no one else in my life. No one else in my heart. All you have to do is look at me, Cupcake, and I tangle up inside.”
She pounded a closed fist on his chest. “Then why send me away?”
He hugged her to his chest and rested his chin on top of her head. “Things are complicated right now. My family is going through a critical time, and they need me.”
She relaxed somewhat. “Because your mother is sick?”
“Yes.”
“I could stay and support you through this. You wouldn’t need to entertain me. I could simply be there for you.”
Luke’s eyes misted at the sincerity of her offer. Cassie loved, the way a person was supposed to. “You are one amazing woman, Cassie.”
“But you still want me to leave? Is it because you don’t want your family to know you’re with me? I’ve heard a lot about you since I’ve been here. They say you’re insanely rich. I don’t care about that, but maybe you do. Are you embarrassed that I—?” She was speaking softly, sadly.
Her question ripped at his heart. He interrupted her. “Oh, Cassie. No. That’s not it.” He held her back from him and looked down into her teary eyes. “When my family does meet you, they will love you—just as I do.”
Cassie blinked back angry tears. “Don’t say you love me then send me away. Don’t play me that way.”
“This isn’t a game, Cassie. I wish I could tell you what’s going on, but all I can do is ask you to trust me.”
Cassie stood there, glaring at Luke, with her fists clenched at her sides. “I kept a secret from you back in Defiance, Luke. At first I didn’t think you would stay, so I told myself it wouldn’t matter. Then I was afraid if you knew, you would leave me.”
Luke tensed. “What kind of secret?”
Cassie looked down at his hands on her upper arms. “It’s scary, isn’t it? Not knowing.”
Luke loosened his grip on her, but demanded, “Just say it, Cassie.”
She searched his face for a long moment. “I’ve never had a family. Not a real one. Not the kind you see on television where people argue over chores and everyone gathers for dinner. I want a family, Luke. I want it so much that when I met you I had already started the process on my own. I’ve gone through three IUI cycles.”
“Are you—?”
“Pregnant?” Cassie’s lips pressed together sadly. “No. I found out I wasn’t right before you left.”
“That’s why you were so quiet that day.” Cassie’s secret once again highlighted the difference in how she and Luke had grown up. His heart soared at her disclosure. She had so much love to give. Her children would never know the cold manipulation he and his brothers had grown up with.
“Yes. Having a baby was all I wanted until I met you. Then I started to believe I could have it all. You. A family. That’s why I’m here. I wanted more than I had in Detroit, and I made a better life for myself, but I had to fight for it. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. I want to be with you, Luke, and I’m not afraid to fight for you—for us. If there is anything to fight for. But I can’t go back to Ohio and wait for you to come to me. I’m strong, but I’m not that strong. I’ve been left too many times, and I can’t open myself to that kind of hurt again.”
Never in his life had Luke seen such honest emotion, and it humbled him. “I can’t tell you what’s going on, Cassie. It involves more than just me. But I can tell you that you’d be putting yourself at risk if you stayed.”
Cassie’s chin rose. “You wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”
She was more right than she knew. His grip on her tightened. “People dream of having money, but what they don’t realize is there is always a price to pay. Sometimes it comes for your very soul.”
Cassie laid a hand on Luke’s cheek. “People without money are tested the same way, Luke. We all get backed into a corner and discover parts of ourselves we don’t like, but we can’t let that define us. Whatever is going on, Luke, don’t let it change you. Don’t let it win.”
Luke swung her up in his arms and carried her to the hotel bed. Her words had moved him, and he wanted her more because of it. Cassie was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. He wanted to lose himself in her beauty, her goodness.
He needed to.
And he hoped when he woke in her arms the next morning, he would be a man who deserved to be there.
Chapter Sixteen
Cassie sat naked and cross-legged on the bed munching on bacon and feeding fruit to Luke, who was lying on his side a foot awa
y from her. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and gasped. Her hair was a wild tangle. She tried to flatten one particularly wild curl. “You could have told me I look like I’ve been pulled through the bushes backward.”
Luke shot her his charming, roguish smile that never failed to set her heart beating a mile a minute. “I haven’t looked above your shoulders much.”
Cassie laughed and threw what was left of her bacon strip at his head. “That’s charming.”
“It’s your fault,” he said playfully. “If you weren’t so comfortable being naked, I wouldn’t be so distracted.” He leaned forward, cupping her bare sex with his hand. “Did you shave for me?” He slid a finger between her lower lips slowly, leisurely as if it were his and he had all the time in the world to explore it. When his finger found and began to rub back and forth over her clit, Cassie flushed with excitement.
“My boyfriend likes it.”
“Does he?” Luke growled, dipping his middle finger deeper into her while continuing his outer caress. “What else does he like?”
Cassie sucked one of her fingers then trailed it around one of her nipples. She felt herself pucker beneath her own touch. She whispered, “He likes it when I touch myself.”
Luke’s eyes darkened with passion, and he pushed the tray of food off the bed. It crashed to the floor, but he never took his eyes off Cassie. “I bet he would love to watch you make yourself come. Have you ever done that for him, Cassie?”
Cassie shook her head, already so excited by their game she was breathing raggedly. She slid her hand down her stomach and placed her hand where his had been. She knew her own body, knew how to bring herself pleasure, but she’d never done it while anyone watched her.
She started softly, circling her clit with her finger while massaging one of her breasts with her other hand. All the while, she held Luke’s eyes. He took his shaft into his hand and pumped up and down. He was rock hard and so big. Cassie imagined that her finger was the tip of his cock. She pinched one of her nipples and imagined the slight pain was from his teeth.
With Luke, Cassie never felt self-conscious. He was open with his enjoyment of her, and it was impossible to feel anything but sexy when he looked at her the way he did.
Cassie increased the tempo of her fingers on herself and rolled onto her back. Her legs were still crisscrossed, which left her wide open and exposed before him as she began to pump her finger in and out of herself. She rubbed faster, harder, sending herself upward toward a climax. Luke moved closer to her and claimed her mouth with his.
When Cassie cried out in pleasure it was into Luke’s mouth. He shifted so he was lying fully against her side and took her hand off herself and brought it to his mouth. He licked each finger as though it were an addictive taste.
“Was it good, Cupcake?” he asked.
“Oh, yes,” Cassie said breathlessly.
He kissed his way down her chest, moving down the bed until he was resting between her legs. “Let’s compare, shall we?”
There was no comparison. She was already swollen and eager for his touch. His tongue darted across her shaven mound, almost giving her what she wanted, before sliding away. He kissed her inner thighs. Her stomach. He blew softly on her.
Cassie shivered with pleasure. He ran his hands lovingly over her, warming her skin with hot kisses that followed. When Cassie could take no more, she dug her hands into his hair and bucked toward his mouth.
His chuckle was the sexiest sound she’d ever heard, and she knew he was deliberately driving her out of control. By the time his tongue darted intimately into her, she was hungering for it. His unrelenting adoration was an intense pleasure; it was torture. Torture she begged him not to stop. When she was on the brink of another climax, he paused.
She nearly sobbed in disappointment until she heard him opening a condom wrapper. A moment later he went up onto his knees, lifted her hips to his waist, and plunged deeply into her.
Cassie dug her hands into the bed sheets as he took her with a fierceness he’d held back in the past. She came with a cry, but he was beyond hearing her. He thrust harder, deeper, wilder until Cassie lost all concept of where they were or anything beyond them. It was just the two of them, rising above everything else in a kaleidoscope of searing pleasure. She reached up and pulled his mouth back to hers. He rolled with her, not breaking the kiss, but positioning himself so he could thrust even deeper.
There was an affirmation to their passion that Cassie had never experienced before, a feeling that neither would be the same afterward. When he finally came, they fell, sweaty and dazed, into each other’s arms.
For a long time they both simply lay there, enjoying the afterglow. Luke removed his condom, tied and tossed it aside, then kissed Cassie’s forehead. “I shouldn’t have come here, but I don’t regret I did.”
Cassie raised her head off his shoulder and looked at him. “I shouldn’t have let you in, but I feel the same way. Whatever it is you can’t tell me, Luke, I want you to know I’m okay with it. We all have our secrets, and yours don’t scare me. I know what kind of man you are. That’s what matters to me.”
Luke looked at her sadly. “My mother is very ill, Cassie. Very ill. I doubt she’ll be with us next week.”
Cassie gently caressed Luke’s tense jaw. “I’m sure you’re doing everything you can.”
Luke covered her hand with his. “You need to know that someone did this to her. I found traces of poison in her system. We think it was her doctor, but we’re not sure yet. No one at the hospital knows. Her medical records are all a lie—a lie I’m adding to instead of involving the police.” He brought her hand to his mouth. “I’m telling you this because if not saying it costs me you, then it’s too high a price to pay.”
Cassie sat up beside Luke. “Someone poisoned your mother? Are you serious?”
His steady look told her he was. “If you tell anyone, I could lose everything.”
Cassie cocked her head to the side and studied him for a long moment. “Why do I get the feeling you almost want me to?” There in his sad eyes she saw the answer. “You do. You hate what you’re doing, and you think you deserve to be punished for it.” Cassie took his hand in hers and held it on her thigh. “You picked the wrong person to confess to. I’ll take your secret with me to the grave.”
Luke frowned. “You understand what I’m saying? I’m falsifying medical records to protect my ass, not for some heroic reason. I’m doing it because the only thing people love more than a success story is tearing one down. The scandal, even after we would prove we weren’t involved in it, would ruin my family.”
“And you hate yourself for doing something illegal.” Cassie laced her fingers with his, looking down at them as she spoke. “I understand better than you know. I told you about my mother. And I told you I stole for survival. I didn’t tell you how I felt about it. I had to do it to survive. I had to lie to the police about where she was. I had to lie to my friends so I wouldn’t be taken away from her. For a long time, it felt like all I did was lie. I told myself I had to. I saw people hurting people, and I looked away because getting involved would have exposed that my mother wasn’t around, and I couldn’t risk that. When we’re young we think right and wrong are like black and white, easy to distinguish. The reality is that so much of what we do lies in a complicated gray area where there is no right. All we can do is choose the wrong we can best live with.”
Luke pulled Cassie into his arms and rolled over so he was above her. “You have a frightening ability to understand me.”
“As I said, we’re not that different.”
He ran a hand through her splayed hair. “What would you say if I told you my mother has been so bitter and so cruel to my brothers and me that I’m forcing myself to get her the best treatments? Part of me would be relieved if she passed away before I saw her again. What kind of son does that make me?”
Slow tears began to spill down Cassie’s temples. She tried to blink them back, but Luke’s que
stion struck a cord deep inside her. “It makes you human, Luke. My own mother is out there somewhere, probably on a drug binge right now. I tried to save her so many times, but each time I did, she would pull me down with her. I don’t understand why, I just know she couldn’t let me be happy when she wasn’t. I had to walk away from her, Luke. I had to let go. And part of me hopes she overdoses. I don’t tell anyone that. It’s ugly. It’s shameful. But if I’m honest with myself, it’s because, although I know I can’t open my life to her again, I hate feeling guilty all the time. I want it to end. So, tell me, Luke, what kind of daughter does that make me?”
Wiping away Cassie’s tears, Luke said softly, “A beautifully strong daughter of an addict.”
Cassie touched his mouth gently with the tips of her fingers. “Then you understand how I see you. You’re not a bad person, Luke. Because, if you are, then so am I.”
A light beep went off across the room. Luke pulled away from Cassie and picked his pager up off the hotel bureau. “It’s the hospital. My mother is awake. I have to go.”
Cassie sat up and hugged her knees to her chest. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
Luke looked across the room at her with so much emotion in his eyes, Cassie almost burst into tears again. “If you’re coming with me, you need to shower quickly.”
“You want me with you?” Cassie scrambled off the bed.
Luke held out his hand to her. “Not in her room. My brothers will want to be alone with her, I’m sure. But we have a private waiting room for family.”
Family.
Cassie followed Luke into the bathroom and took a brief shower with him. The sexual tension of earlier was absent as they rushed to dress and gather their things, but one word kept echoing in her head.
Family.
It was difficult to mesh how awful the events of the day were with how wonderful that one word made Cassie feel. Luke called his brothers, informing them to meet him at the hospital. She heard him tell one of them he was bringing her, and she held her breath.