He glanced at Robin. Maybe that’s what she needed; someone to show her the way.
Once class was over, he waited for her to quietly put away his laptop. She seemed a little down. “Robin, I’m going to do that DJ gig with Link. You should come.”
She gave him a surprised look. “Really?” She’d never been to a college party before but didn’t think she’d be comfortable, but she was pleased that he had thought to ask her.
“I can’t. I’ll be working.”
She placed his book bag behind his chair and the laptop strap over her shoulder. Jason frowned.
“I thought you quit that second job?”
“I did. But I plan to add another shift after this one. Well after I recuperate from my last attempt at working two jobs. And it’s just going to be a half shift.” She was quick to explain in case he thought she’d be irresponsible again.
“What hours will you want to work?”
“I’m hoping between seven and eleven.” It would give her time to get home, eat, freshen up before the next job. And she’d still be able to get home to sleep through the night.
“We’ll see what happens,” he said and then changed the subject not giving her an opportunity to say no. “I was going to ask you a question.” She followed him out of the building. “About your eyes.”
“My eyes?” She touched her face self- consciously. “What about them?”
“They’re very…unique. You don’t see many black girls with eyes that color.”
“Hazel eyes on black girls aren’t all that uncommon.”
“But yours aren’t hazel. They’re green and grey. There’s no brown in them.”
“Well, I guess. My Mom has grey eyes.”
“Is she white?”
“No. Both of my parents are black.” She got to the car and unlocked it for him. He pulled himself up into a standing position all on his own and maneuvered himself into the passenger seat while she folded his chair and placed it into the trunk.
When she was buckled in the driver’s seat he continued the conversation. “Where did those green eyes come from then?”
“Vegetables.”
He looked at her confused.
“Because I eat a lot of vegetables,” she said grinning. “Remember what Erykah Badu said? My eyes are green…cuz I eat a lot of vegetables. It don’t have nothing to do with your new friend.” She sang.
Jason froze. “Sing that again.”
“What? No!” She laughed and pulled out of the parking space.
He could not believe how beautiful her voice had sounded. Robin could sing! Robin was a natural born singer and he could tell just from that one verse!
“Robin, please!” He said urgently.
“Jason…I don’t sing. And plus…remember what I said about being nervous? Singing in front of people is really top on that list.”
“My god…” He said softly. He was staring at her intently. “Why do you do that?”
“What do you mean?” Her voice and expression became suddenly serious.
He just stared at her. “Why do you give other people so much power over you?”
She opened her mouth to respond; deny or get angry. But she could say nothing. What he said was true.
***
They rode in silence to his apartment. Once she had parked, she set up his wheelchair and he slid into it on his own. She retrieved his book bag and computer case and put them away. In the apartment Jason moved directly to his computer and wordlessly powered it up.
“Come here a minute.” Curious as to what he was doing, she walked over to his ‘studio’. He handed her a mic. “Sing.”
“What? You’re crazy.”
“Everything you’re saying is being recorded right now. If you don’t sing I’m going to loop what you just said over and over and put it behind a beat. Then I’m going to post it on YouTube, with your name on it. So sing.”
She gave him a look of panic. She tried to hand him back the mic but he wouldn’t take it. He just gave her a severe look. She finally placed her hand over the mic and whispered.
“No. I don’t want to sing and I definitely don’t want you recording me!”
He turned to his computer. “Okay. See you tomorrow.” He put on headphones. Then he began hitting keys on the computer.
“Jason? What are you doing?”
He turned to her. “I told you what I was going to do. So…leave me alone so I can get working on it. I want it on YouTube by tonight.”
“No. No Jason. You can’t be serious?” He did something on his computer and she suddenly heard her own voice saying ‘What? You must be crazy.’ Then he made it repeat over and over.
Oh god oh my god. Her brain kept repeating that thought. She knew he would do it, too. Robin brought the mic close to her mouth and closed her eyes. She began to sing the 2nd movement of Green Eyes by Erykah Badu.
When it was done she opened her eyes and placed the mic on the computer table. Then she turned and hurried out the door. When she got to her car her heart was beating a mile a minute.
Chapter 19
Jason was in the zone. The music was in him and around him; so much so that he became the music. His mind said slow it down, that’s it. Find the beat…that’s not it. That’s not it…THAT’S IT! His phone rang and he ignored it. His homework needed to get done and he didn’t care. He hadn’t gone to the bathroom and he put it off. Jason edited, and cut and looped like an old school master.
When he was done he pressed play and listened. When it ended he was grinning. It was perfect. It was…perfection.
He was working on homework, of course utilizing his computer, when he saw the message pop up from Sweetheart in HC. He opened the dialogue box and read the message.
~Hi TOP. Hope you had a better day than me~
~Hi Sweetheart. What’s wrong, hon? Hard day?~
~Yeah. How was your day?~
~Eh…But I got a new tune. Still a work in progress though. I need to finish up some things. Are you going to be on tomorrow?~
~Yes.~
~Talk to you then~
~Night TOP~
~Night Sweetheart~
***
Robin had a hard time sleeping. What music had Jason made?! She wanted to keep jumping up and checking YouTube to see if he’d posted new music but knew that was a part of her paranoia. Still she tossed and turned most of the night.
The next day she got to Jason’s house fifteen minutes early just because she was so anxious. He opened the door a bit surprised.
“’Morning. You’re early.” His hair was a bit damp and fell in auburn colored ringlets over his shoulders.
“I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.” He let her in. “I was just blow drying my hair.”
“I can do that for you.”
“Cool.” He wheeled into the bathroom and she picked up the brush.
“Do you have a comb?”
“No.” She dug into her purse for her wide tooth comb. Then while his hair was still wet she worked out the knots. Jason watched her reflection through the mirror.
“About yesterday-”
“I wish you hadn’t done that.” She interrupted bitterly.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t…know if I believe that.”
He didn’t respond. “Would you like to hear what I did with your voice?”
She worked at the knots for a full minute more before answering. “Yes.” He began wheeling away before she was completely done. But she followed him back to the living room and his makeshift studio. He powered up and pressed a button. She heard strings, pianos joined it and then a person’s voice, humming. Was that her? She hadn’t made any sounds like that.
Robin felt chills running up her spine. The melody was so full and rich. This wasn’t hiphop…this was a soul jam. She looked at him in amazement as her voice hummed along to the melody. There was no hitch, no break. How had he done that? The music swelled and then there was a break and her
voice singing ‘You don’t mean nothing to me’.
She gasped and looked at him in surprise. The music swelled again and her soft voice in the background repeating those words as she hummed to the tune.
“Oh my god…” She said when it ended. “Oh my god…”
“Did you like it?”
“Oh my god.” She looked at him, her face falling and rising and she nodded. “I loved it.” She pointed to the computer. “That was my voice?”
“Yes.” He smiled in relief.
“How did you make it sound so good?”
“I didn’t have anything to do with that part of it. That was all you.”
She was shaking her head in denial. “You…”
“I just chopped and screwed it.”
“What?”
“Chopped and screwed? That’s what it’s called when you take a song and slow it down. I just did that to your voice. It made it deeper, a little more soulful, and I made sort of a jazzy back ground to it. So you liked it?”
“I can’t believe it. I love it!” She gushed. “What are you calling it?”
“Well, I was thinking of calling it Loves End.”
“Jason, that’s beautiful. Can you play it again please?”
“I will if you will make coffee while I do.”
“Oh! Right, school!” She jumped and hurried to the kitchen. She heard the beautiful music playing and found herself humming to it as she went through the familiar routine. Jason poured himself a bowl of Cheerios, and of course some landed on the table and the floor. But while he fixed his breakfast he listened to Robin humming and something dawned on him that caused him to come to a complete stop. He had created sounds from nothing more than ideas in his own head. And now, today, Robin was in his kitchen singing and humming along to it. That meant that she was now the music that he had created. It was a full circle. Jason looked at Robin and his heart swelled.
He finally understood why people wrote love songs. He blinked quickly and returned to his cereal.
Robin noticed that Jason fidgeted a lot throughout the day. He seemed restless or anxious. He was a little quiet, too. He didn’t talk much during open discussions in class. It had even taken two attempts before he had gotten the calculus problem correct. He grumbled under his breath about it. And once she’d dropped Jason’s ink pen and when she reached to pick it up a very attractive guy scooped it up and handed it to her.
Robin smiled and thanked him shyly. Then Jason had run over his foot. He’d apologized but Robin knew that it hadn’t been an accident because he’d gone out of his way to reach the guys foot and to avoid hers. She frowned at him and he just looked away.
When he had a seizure in the halls before lunch, Robin crouched down in front of him, ignoring the stares. She held her breath when he held his, and as usual, became scared when he began turning blue. She placed a gentle hand on his neck and murmured repeatedly. ‘I’m here. It’s okay. I’m here.” When he had finally relaxed, his eyes stayed closed longer than normal while she kept stroking his neck and rubbing his shoulders.
At lunch he kept interrupting every time Link tried to talk to her. When Amberly talked to him, he just gave her one word responses. Then Amberly gave up on engaging him in conversation and went to sit in Link’s lap. Robin peeked at Jason to see if he would be jealous about his girlfriend sitting in another guy’s lap. But he had just been staring at her. Maybe he was worried that she would get nervous again.
She leaned in to whisper to him. “I’m okay.”
“What?” His mouth began to pull and his neck followed and then his head began flopping. She knew that when he got anxious or angry his muscles twitched and pulled. But what was he anxious or mad about? Unless it was because Amberly was lap hopping.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”
“Okay…” She picked up their tray and dumped their trash. “What do you want to do? We still have half an hour before computer class.”
“Let’s go outside. We can sit in the commons.”
“Okay.” She moved behind him and began pushing his chair and he sat back and relaxed directing her on where to go. It was beautiful. She loved fall and the beautiful golden leaves on all of the trees. He instructed her to wheel them off the path and beneath a tree. Once the chair was locked he reached out.
“Help me.”
She gave him a surprised look and then leaned forward and helped him to stand. She held him in place as he adjusted to standing. She looked up at him, so accustomed to looking down at him and again was amazed by his height. He kept his hands on her shoulders and by all outward appearance they looked like two lovers in an embrace.
“You’re standing.”
“You always seem surprised when I do that. Help me to that tree and I can lean against it.” She did as he asked and very carefully released her hold on him. He leaned against the tree looking very casual. She placed her hands on her hips and gave him a look of admiration.
“Jason. You should do this more often. It’s got to be good for your legs; keeping the muscles from atrophying.” She reached out and in an uncharacteristic move she gripped his hand and turned his palm out so that she could see the scars from his surgery.
“Link said you had to get surgery to loosen your muscles?”
“I’ve had several.” He watched her as she held his hand.
“Where else?” He was very conscious that she still hadn’t released his hand.
“Achilles tendons, hamstrings.”
“Wow. Was it painful?”
“I guess.”
Robin stared at him; so handsome with his millions of freckles and green eyes, thick muscular body and six feet or more of height. She became suddenly conscious that she was still holding his hand and suddenly released it.
“Um, did you get mad about Amberly sitting on Link’s lap?”
“Why would I get mad about that?”
“Because she’s your girlfriend.”
“What?! I don’t have a girlfriend. Amberly is like my sister!”
Robin felt two emotions; shock and relief.
“Oh…I thought…”
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he repeated much quieter. He reached out and took her hand again. She gave him a surprised look. “Help me back to the chair.”
“Oh.” She blushed and placed her arm around his toned body. He put his arms around her shoulders. “Lean on me,” she said when it felt that he tried not to give her too much of his weight. “I’m stronger then I look.” He leaned in to her and she helped him slowly walk to his chair.