It had taken a long time to calm her and when she did she fell into an exhausted sleep on his lap where he continued to hold her in his arms. He was a little afraid. He’d never seen a panic attack before; what she called a nervous condition, he saw it for what it truly was. His anger had completely vanished in light of her explanation. It made perfect sense when she explained it. It was her shyness that had prevented her from coming forward.
What did it mean that Robin had continued to seek him out after work hours? Jason finally admitted to himself that he had feelings for her. He had known for a long time. But his own fear of rejection made it difficult to accept the idea that maybe—just maybe, Robin Mathena felt the same way for him that he felt for her.
He placed his lips against her forehead and then allowed her curls to brush his cheek as he carefully rested his head there. He yawned and locked his fingers together securely around her body. After a moment he fell asleep himself.
***
Robin’s head popped up and she looked around. Jason’s hands tightened around her body and she looked at the sleeping man in alarm. His head was thrown back in the chair and he was snoring loudly. How she had ever slept through such a racket was testimony to how physically and mentally exhausted she was.
She tried to slip out of his grasp without waking him.
“Where are you going?”
She gave him a terrified look. “Uh…Jason! I think we’re missing class…”
He just chuckled, his hands remained locked around her body. “It’s okay. I can just get on the computer for my lessons.” She relaxed a little but found it strange the way his hands were around her body; it was the way she’d seen him holding Amberly on his lap and he had said that she was like a sister…so it seemed okay. She relaxed a bit more.
“I’m…really sorry about what happened-”
“I am so happy!” He interrupted.
“Happy?” She blinked at him.
“That I’m not the only one that apologizes. I’m always apologizing to you, Robin. Can we just…like…forget about it?”
She nodded quickly. She was good at putting unpleasant things behind her and just moving forward. And there was not anything that she wanted more, at this very moment, then to pretend that she had not just made a complete and total fool of herself in front of her client.
“I have to use the bathroom.” She said shyly.
He wanted to laugh. Of course she did. “Wait.” He unlocked his hands from her body and began wheeling them across the room. “I’ll drive you.”
She braced her hands on the arms of the chair even though he wasn’t going fast. He stopped at the bathroom door and she stepped down and stood up. That had actually been fun, and she’d never sat in any man’s lap; other than her Daddy’s. So it had also been somewhat intimate. She liked being close to his big chest and feeling his long hair brushing against her face. And the feel of his strong arms around her body made her feel protected and… loved. She looked at him and felt her chest tighten and her heart speed up. Did he really forgive her? Because she would never do anything like that again just for no other reason than that she never wanted to see that look on his face again. She had learned her lesson!
“Thanks.” She backed into the bathroom and softly closed the door. She put her hand on her chest and then touched her lips. Jason. The very word; his name, caused her to feel weak. I think…I’m falling for Jason, she admitted to herself. And she had almost ruined it with a stupid lie. She smiled. He liked her, too.
Robin used the toilet and agonized over her appearance as she washed her hands. All she could do was scrub the tears from her face with soap and water and using wet hands push back her springy curls. When she stepped from the bathroom she could hear soft music playing. Jason was at the computer—big surprise—and he grinned at her when she entered the room. Thank god he wasn’t scowling at her anymore! His big smile made her heartbeat quicken. How did people deal with feelings like this? Just looking at him sent her into near cardiac arrest!
“I pulled up a playlist; that one we listened to together on the computer the other night.” She blushed at the memory of Sweetheart in HC. She never wanted to think of it again.
“Yeah.”
He wheeled to her and took both of her hands. She tried not to look at him in surprise at the contact. “Hey, I liked Sweetheart. I still do. As a matter of fact, I was going to ask her to come to the party Friday.”
She looked away uncomfortable. “Sweetheart didn’t act as shy and awkward the way I do.”
He didn’t laugh at her. “Sweetheart is you, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take on more of the characteristics that you associate with her. I mean, if you get nervous at things that Sweetheart doesn’t, then maybe you should think of yourself as Sweetheart.” He paused. “So, Sweetheart, will you come to the party with me?”
Was…was he asking her on a date? She smiled. “Well…I guess.” And then she knew that there was nothing in the world that would cause her to miss seeing him make music. She nodded enthusiastically and was rewarded with another of his killer smiles.
“So how do I change Robin into Sweetheart?” What he said made sense about recreating herself to be more like her alter-ego. “I could have like…an accent; like maybe a Jamaican accent.” She was only half joking, for she did like the idea of being someone else.
“God no. I like your voice just the way it is.”
She smiled shyly and looked away, gently pulling her hands from his grasp because she was getting too anxious with the contact.
“What would Sweetheart do that you wouldn’t?”
“Sing!” Ooops. Oh shit. She shouldn’t have said that out loud. She didn’t want to sing!
Jason grinned. “Do it Sweetheart. Sing me a song.” Her heart leaped at the name. Mmmm, she liked being called Sweetheart, and hearing the words come from his mouth instead of just reading it on computer.
She swallowed and struggled to fight her shyness. “I’ll sing, if you don’t look at me.” He immediately wheeled around until his back was to her. She checked to make sure he wasn’t looking then she closed her eyes and began to sing a song by Ledisi called Higher Than This.
When she was done, Jason wheeled around. “Beautiful.” His brow gathered. “Robin…when you sing Erykah Badu, you sound just like her. When you sing Ledisi you sound exactly like her. Can you sing Whitney Houston?”
She nodded. “That song from The Bodyguard?” He nodded and wheeled around so as not to watch her. Robin closed her eyes and did an exact rendition of I Will Always Love You as sang by Whitney Houston. When it was over Jason spun around and leaned forward.
“Excellent! Robin, you have a very high octave range. You’re a voice mimic.”
She smiled. “My mother always wanted me to sing at church but I was too shy. So what are we going to do for lunch? I’m getting hungry.”
His eyes were popping out of his head. “Robin, Sweetheart, your voice is spectacular! I think you might have a six octave voice.”
She smiled shyly. “Okay…thanks. Let’s stop talking about it, though.”
He gave her a curious look. He suddenly understood that she knew exactly the type of voice she had. And yet she still kept it to herself. She could be a professional; with that voice and those eyes, she could be a star. But then again, not a viable job for someone with crippling anxieties.
“Okay, enough about that. Lunch. We can order out.”
Robin turned to the refrigerator and checked the contents, and then she checked the pantry and cabinets. “Well…there’s lots here. Your Mom pretty much loaded you up.” She turned to him. “I can make you something.”
“Sure.” He said happily.
“What do you want to eat?”
“Whatever you want to cook.”
“Ah, you’re an easy customer. Let’s see. How about grilled ham and cheese?”
“And soup?” He added. She nodded. “Sounds like a plan!” He headed out of the kitchen. “I’m
going to the restroom. I’ll be back.” As Jason wheeled himself to the bathroom he paused and waited. And just like he knew she would, Robin began to sing softly to herself. He smiled and continued to the restroom, ears perked to her every sound.
Robin made the grilled ham and cheese and sliced them into strips. Jason dipped them into his tomato soup, but didn’t make as much of a mess since he wasn’t holding a spoon and trying to aim for his mouth.
“Are you at all nervous about the DJ gig Friday?”
“Not really. The only thing that would normally bother me is having a seizure, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Everyone already thinks I’m faking.”
“But aren’t you afraid of being in front of all of those people?”
He shrugged. “No. That part doesn’t bother me. People always look at me anyways. Might as well be up there showing them that I can do something cool.” She guessed that was a good way of looking at things.
“So how was it working your second job?”
He remembered. She made a face. “I’m not sure.” She got up and began cleaning up the dishes. She wondered something and since she and Jason were getting along well…and they’d already talked about the topic she wanted to broach, Robin decided to ask Jason the question that was on her mind. After all, he had used Assistants all of his life; who would know better than him?
“Jason, I have a stupid question.”
“Shoot.” He said curiously.
“How…what’s the right way to give a male patient a sponge bath?”
“What?!”
She chuckled and blushed. “I told you it was stupid. I have to give my patient a sponge bath and Pinnacle has not given me any training on this!”
“Well…ok.” He wasn’t exactly expecting this question from his own Assistant. “Just get a basin of water and you should start from the top of the body and work your way down. Put a towel under him, right? And then only do one part of the body at a time like his arm. Then dry them.”
“Okay.”
“You can cover him with a blanket or put his shirt back on, or his pants, whatever. Do his genitals last.” She was nodding. “So…you’ll have to wash them; front to back.” He frowned. “So you’ve already bathed him once, right? How did that go?”
She made a face. “I don’t think it went good.” She didn’t mention how gross it was because it would make her appear very unprofessional.
“And what went wrong?”
She shrugged dismissively. “He was a pervert.” She was drying the dishes and putting them away.
“Robin.” He said in a smooth tone. “What do you mean by ‘pervert’?”
She glanced back at him. His expression was calm but curious. She ducked her head away. Why had she even brought this up?
“Well, when I was washing him he got an…erection.”
Jason sputtered. He found the idea of her washing some old guys erect dick very distasteful. Probably almost as distasteful as it had been for her to actually do it.
“He…got an erection? At what point of the bathing did this happen?”
“I’m not sure because I was only looking at him from the neck up. And I put a towel over his middle. When I came back from changing the basin of water…the towel…had a point in it.”
He sighed.
“But then it went away on his own,” she added quickly.
“Oh my god, Robin he jazzed!”
Her normally heavily lidded eyes grew large. She was shaking her head, but she knew that he was absolutely right. OH MY GOD! She dropped the dishtowel and began pacing frantically. “Oh…that is so disgusting! I can’t wash that man again! What if he…does THAT while I’m touching it?!”
Jason’s face was red and his lips were pale slashes in his angry face. “Don’t go back there. Or better yet, do this; roll him on his stomach.”
“Roll him on his stomach? What is that going to do? So I won’t have to see it?”
It took him a moment before he could form a coherent sentence. All he could think of was white hot balls of heat. Finally he spat out his words. “Wait until his dick his hard and then roll him onto his stomach!”
She gave him an alarmed look. “I…I can’t do that.”
“He deserves it. I guarantee you that the pervert doesn’t need help washing. He’s just using Pinnacle to supply him with people who will touch his dick so that he can get off! He is a pervert Robin. Trust me on this. If you don’t roll him on his stomach he will start getting worse. He’ll be touching you accidentally, rubbing your ass or brushing against your boobs.”
She crossed her arms around her chest, a stricken look on her face.
“Did he already start doing that? Oh my god…Robin, Sweetheart…Just do what I said.”
“What if it hurts him and he has a heart attack?”
“I bet his heart is strong enough to-”
“OKAY I’LL DO IT!” She said loud enough to interrupt his next words. Jason stared at her, his face still pulled into a frown. “I’m…going to finish the dishes.” She said just to get away from his stare. Jason nodded and wheeled out of the room.
Robin’s hands were shaking. Now that she understood what was up it would take every bit of her nerves to face Fred Baker tonight.
Jason had wheeled into the bedroom. He had his cell phone in hand and was rapidly dialing…well as rapidly as his fingers could. Mary Louise from Pinnacle answered the phone.
“Hi Mary Louise.” His voice was more pleasant than his face indicated. “This is Jason Hamilton. Yes, I’m fine. Listen, Mary Louise the reason I’m calling is to find out if you’ve found me a night time aid? I know…I understand. I know it was difficult to find an Aid willing to follow me around school but you did it. But I still need someone for the night and that person has to be trained in seizure emergencies, remember? Yeah. Well if you don’t have anyone then I’m going to have to accept the State’s night time aid.” He lied. “Well they don’t have any problem finding me someone for the evenings and that person is going to be able to work part of the day…so I will only need Pinnacle part-time.” He knew that companies like Pinnacle moved fastest when they thought it would affect their wallets.
“I only really need someone to work four or five hours a night; seven to eleven is good. I mean, no need to pay someone to watch me sleep like the State wanted me to do, just so my night time aid could take me to school. Yeah, just seven to eleven.” Jason smiled at Mary Louise’s response. “You can? Wow that’s great Mary Louise. As soon as possible; tonight if it can be worked out. Ok. Thanks, have a good evening.”
He pocketed the phone and wheeled back into the living room happily.
Chapter 24
By the time Robin had finished the dishes Jason’s mood had improved. He was waiting by the door.
“What?” She asked.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
She checked the time. “You got me for a few more hours. She grabbed her purse. “Where to?”
“Just outside. I live in a nice community; great for walking and there’s a pond around back, with benches. I don’t normally feed the ducks there…they start swarming around you like nasty little monstrosities. But if you want to, just grab the bread.”