Ryn’s words are like a story about someone else’s life. “He . . . he can’t be much older than us then,” I say. “Considering how powerful he is, I was imagining someone far more experienced.”
“I think we were all imagining that.”
I take the letter from Ryn and read it again. Then I drop my head into my hands and let the paper float to the floor. “I’m responsible for everything that’s happened,” I moan. “That’s what the letter says. I mean, I already knew about the assignment where I saved Draven from death—there was a reptiscillan woman who told me about that—but the fact that I’m responsible for his decision to take Tharros’ power? And then to use it to destroy everything? That makes me, like, doubly responsible. I should never have been born, Ryn. That’s what the letter is basically telling me. None of this would ever have happened if I didn’t exist.”
“Yes, it would have.” Ryn pulls my hands away from my face, and I find him crouching on the floor in front of me, his eyes fierce. “If it hadn’t been Draven, it would have been someone else. It probably would have been Zell who took Tharros’ power. And maybe he wouldn’t have been as powerful as Draven, but he still would have needed to be destroyed. And the part of the letter you seem to be ignoring is the part that says you will help put an end to Tharros’ power. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and let’s figure out how we’re going to do that.”
I stare at him, my gaze moving across his face. I nod, pull my arms gently from his grasp, and say, “Okay. Tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it.”
He returns to his chair. “Okay. Here it is: We have a weapon that can supposedly destroy Tharros’ power. It’s a sword, and only one person can use it. But no one knows who or where that person is. You—” he points at me “—are the only one who can find that person.”
“I am? That’s how I’m going to put an end to Tharros’ power?”
“Yes. We have no way of finding the Star—that’s what the words on the sword call this person—without you. That’s why Oliver was referring to you as the ‘finder’ earlier.”
“Right.” I have a feeling I’m about to disappoint Ryn once again. “And . . . how exactly am I going to find this person?”
Ryn leans his head back against the armchair and sighs. “This would be so much easier if you hadn’t swallowed that damn potion.”
“Yeah. I know. But I did. So can you please just tell me what magic trick I’m supposed to perform to find this Star?”
“You hold something that belongs to a person and your mind will tell you where that person is. Anywhere in the world. That’s your magic trick.”
I narrow my eyes at him, waiting for a laugh or a punch line. Because that has to be a joke, right? There’s no spell that can find a person that easily.
He doesn’t even crack a smile.
“Are you joking?” I ask. “Because I was joking when I said ‘magic trick.’”
“No joke. You, Violet Fairdale, can do something that no one else can do: You can find people.”
“By holding something that belongs to them?”
“Yes. Holding one of their belongings creates a connection to them. If you already know the person, then the connection’s already there.”
“But I don’t know the Star.”
“No.”
“And nobody else knows the Star, so you obviously don’t have something that belongs to him or her.”
“Her. And no.”
Is he being intentionally dense? “So,” I say slowly, “don’t we have a problem then?”
“Well, just think about it.” He leans forward. “The sword can only be used by the Star. Doesn’t that mean it technically belongs to her?”
I wind a piece of hair around my finger. “I guess. Maybe.”
“Well, it’s the only idea I’ve got, so it’d better work.”
“And what if I don’t know how to do it anymore? Find people, I mean.”
He raises an eyebrow. “V, you may not know this about yourself, but you have never backed down from a challenge. If you don’t remember how to find people, you won’t stop trying until you figure it out.”
I suppose that sounds right. When I couldn’t get my guardian weapons to appear, I let Jamon scare me over and over until I was confident I could reach for them every single time.
“Why don’t you try it now?” Ryn says.
Now? I feel immediately self-conscious. I’d far rather try out this finding thing in private. But Ryn is waiting expectantly, and I’m not supposed to back down from a challenge, right? I stand up and walk over to one of the corners. If I’m about to embarrass myself, I’d rather not do it right in front of him. “Um, who should I find?”
“It needs to be someone you have some kind of relationship with. I imagine there aren’t too many people who fall into that category right now.” There’s a hint of bitterness in his voice, which I choose not to dwell on.
“So, like, Jamon?” I ask.
“Yes.” Ryn stands and walks around to the back of his armchair. He leans on the back rest and stares at his hands. “I imagine you have a connection with the reptiscilla.”
Something in the way he says those last few words makes me ask, “Do you have something against reptiscillas?”
He shakes his head slowly. “Not in general, no. In fact, I’m probably one of the most open-minded guardians you’ll come across.”
“So . . . you have something against Jamon?”
“Look, it’s not important, V. We just need to know whether you can find him or not. So close your eyes and—”
“Wait, are you jealous?” I ask.
“Violet!” Ryn’s hands are clenched around the back of the chair. “You have no idea what I’ve been through since The Destruction. You have no idea how much you mean to me. You don’t know how my mind has tortured me with all the terrible things that could have happened to you. And when I finally find you—alive and safe—you don’t have a flipping clue who I am, and you’re traveling around with another guy. Of course I’m jealous of him!” He pushes the chair out of his way and comes toward me. “You know him a whole lot better than you know me, yet I’ve been part of your life since the day you were born.”
I back into the corner as Ryn gets closer, realizing I have no idea whether or not he has a tendency to get violent when he’s angry. “It isn’t my fault I don’t remember you, Ryn.”
“Isn’t it? You’re the one who took the stupid potion, V. You don’t have anyone to blame but yourself.”
He’s right. I know he is. And I hate it. “Fine. I’m sorry I acted like a coward. Is that what you want to hear?”
“No! I want to hear you talk to me like you actually know me. And why do you keep backing away from me? Do you think I’m going to hit you? What kind of monster do you think I am?”
“I don’t know, do I? You’re certainly angry enough to be a monster.”
“I’m angry because you’re so ridiculously stubborn that you won’t just accept responsibility for what you did and apologize like you actually mean it.”
I push away from the wall, closing the distance between us. “And I don’t see why I should be apologizing to you!”
His face is so close I can feel his breath on my skin. His voice is quiet when he says, “You wanted to forget everything, Violet. And you know what that says to me? You wanted to forget me too.”
Ryn leaves me alone in the room with nothing but the echo of a slammed door and Filigree’s twitching squirrel face peeping from the half-open top drawer beside the bed. I flop down into the armchair with a groan. “This is such a mess, Filigree. I need to fix it.” A meow makes me look up. Cat-formed Filigree, black with one white paw, sits in the middle of the bed and watches me. “Are you also angry with me?” I ask. He blinks and flicks an ear. “Well, I’m not quite sure what that means, but I’ll take it as a ‘yes.’ And I’m sorry, Filigree. I really am. I didn’t mean to desert you.”
I tilt my head back and close my eyes. I should go
after Ryn and apologize. Perhaps I should give him a little more time, though. I don’t want him to end up shouting at me again. My thoughts turn to Jamon. I realize I haven’t seen him since we got here. Hopefully he’s catching up on sleep instead of getting stressed out by the fact that he’s surrounded by guardians.
My eyes pop open as something occurs to me. If I can find Jamon using this ability I supposedly have, then I won’t have to guess what he’s doing. I take a breath and let my eyelids slide shut again. I think of Jamon and try to picture the base around me. I’ve only seen a little bit of it, so most of the picture is imaginary. I relax, try not to feel completely stupid, and let my mind wander. It travels along corridors, brushing against people. It begins to soar, gaining speed as it rushes past more and more people and shoots out through a waterfall and over a river. On and on, streaking so fast I can’t make out the land below me. The next instant, I feel like I’m hanging in midair. I start to drop.
I open my eyes with a gasp. I’m still safe in my armchair in Ryn’s room, my fingers clutching at the armrests. “That can’t be right,” I mutter. I should be seeing Jamon somewhere in this base. I guess I did something wrong and my imagination took over to fill in the gap.
I push myself up and head to the door, waving goodbye to Filigree before I leave. I don’t have a clue where Ryn might be, so I ask the first person I come across if she’s seen him. After two negatives, the third person I pass says he saw Ryn in the dining room. I follow his directions down one level and into a large hall humming with chatter. Rows of tables and benches line the floor. People carry trays of food to and from a serving area. Above the hatch on a white patch of wall, words form as though painted by an invisible hand:
Make sure your amber has the latest anti-tracking spell embedded in it before contacting anyone. Visit the second floor below ground for anti-tracking updates.
The words vanish only to be replaced by another message:
DO NOT use mirrors for communication with the outside world. If you have no other option, visit the second floor below ground for supervised mirror use.
I start walking around the edge of the hall, searching for Ryn. The words on the wall change again.
Lunch will be over in 10 minutes.
The ten starts ticking down, but moments later the announcement is replaced by yet another message. Something about flying trays being dangerous. I ignore it and continue searching. A shock of white hair catches my attention amongst the colorful heads. Fin. I look further down the same table and see Ryn along with the rest of Team Troll’s Butt. I smile to myself as I head toward them; I can’t even think the name without wanting to laugh.
I reach the table and notice that Jamon isn’t there. He must be sleeping like I thought. Ryn stands when he sees me. “Um, can I talk to you?” I ask. I feel awkward now that everyone at the table is looking at me.
He nods and heads to the edge of the room. I follow close behind. He leans against the wall and pushes both hands into his pockets. “Sorry about slamming the door on you,” he says. “That wasn’t my most mature moment. I . . . well, I kept telling myself I wasn’t blaming you for this, but when all those words flew out of my mouth, I realized I was.”
“And you were right. There isn’t anyone to blame except me.” I twist my hands together. “I’m sorry, Ryn. And I mean it this time. I don’t know what I was thinking when I took that potion, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t do it to forget you.”
He looks down at the floor as he nods. “Yeah. I know.”
“So . . . can we put an end the shouting?”
“You know what’s funny?” Ryn says without answering me. “When we were fighting in my room, that felt more like the real us than any conversation we’ve had since I found you.”
“Really?” I feel my eyebrows pinch together. “So . . . we used to argue a lot?”
“‘A lot’ would be an understatement.”
I nod as I try to figure out what kind of relationship Ryn and I had. I find my nod turning into a shake. “That doesn’t really sound . . . healthy. Or enjoyable.”
With a wink, he says, “There was a lot of kissing too.”
I smile, but I feel hollowness forming inside me. Is that all I had with this guy? “Arguing and kissing,” I say slowly. “Was our relationship about anything more than that?”
“Of course,” he says with a laugh. “Way more.” I watch his face grow serious. Maybe he can tell I don’t really believe him. He comes closer and gently takes my face in both his hands. His eyes won’t let me look away. “It was about growing up together. It was about knowing your fears and dreams. It was about forgiveness. It was about making you laugh and being there when you cried. It was about knowing that even if we lived for centuries, I’d never get tired of having you at my side.”
I don’t know how to respond. I’m terrified he wants me to feel the same way. I carefully remove his hands from my face. “Look, I don’t know what to tell you,” I say gently. “I know we were together before The Destruction, but I don’t know you anymore. You can’t expect me to feel the same way you do. It isn’t possible.”
He steps away, releasing me—finally—from his magnetic gaze. When he looks up at me again, it’s with a smile that almost makes me wish I did still feel the same way. “Are you telling me I have to win your heart all over again?”
I’m pretty sure that’s not what I was telling him, but when he smiles at me like that I think it might not be such a bad idea. So I shrug and say, “I guess.”
The smile curls higher, making his eyes sparkle. “Challenge accepted.”
“What? No, that wasn’t a—”
“Hey, Ryn, I just got us a new mission.” Ryn looks over my shoulder. I turn and see Em standing there. “A mission of epic importance,” she adds.
“Great, what is it?”
“Uri finished the latest version of his cure for the mark, and guess what?” She leans over and does a drum roll on the nearest table. “It worked! That prisoner we carried back here is now a fully functioning guardian once again. But Oliver wants a team to go out and find other marked people to test the cure on.”
“And he wants to send us?”
“Well, not exactly.” Em pulls a face. “He was busy telling someone else how he wanted to send a team of older, more experienced guardians, but they’re all out on missions. I happened to be eavesdropping at the time, so I volunteered Team Troll’s Butt.”
“Thanks, Em. You’re awesome.”
She lifts a shoulder and grins. “What can I say? It’s my default setting.” She spins around, then looks back over her shoulder. “Oh, and Oliver said Vi can join our team. He figured she’d want to.”
“I do. But wait, Ryn.” I grab his arm before he can follow Em back to the table. “Don’t we need to find this Star person? Isn’t that the most important thing at the moment?”
“Well, it’s not like we’re about to face Draven right now. Let’s check out this cure first, then we can find the Star.” He weaves his way through people carrying empty trays to a hole in the wall beside the serving area.
And let’s hope Draven doesn’t spring a surprise attack on us tomorrow.
I reach the table as Ryn says to his team, “So, where are we heading to test this cure? The closest marked guardians we know of are in Creepy Hollow, right?”
“I feel another magic carpet ride coming on,” Max says with a grin. He stands and starts piling empty trays together.
“Yes, I think Creepy Hollow is the best option,” Oliver says, appearing at our table. He has a rectangle of amber the size of a book balanced on one arm and a stylus in his other hand. “Two guys coming off a lookout shift said they saw a man hiding in the trees about a day from here. But if he’s on Draven’s side, he’ll be able to use the faerie paths. He’s probably gone already.”
“What’s someone doing so close to our base?” Ryn asks. “Shouldn’t we be concerned about that?”
“It’s probably a coincidence. And it wa
s only one person.”
“So he could be a survivor,” Em says.
“Could be. I’ll send someone to check that out.” Oliver writes a note on his amber. “And your team is off to Creepy Hollow.” He makes a flicking motion across the amber’s screen with his stylus, then writes another few words. “Remember to collect a set of cures from Uri before you leave.”
“Oliver,” I say as something occurs to me. “If Draven has brainwashed guardians on his side, doesn’t that mean he knows exactly where we are? Any one of them could tell him about this place.”
Oliver shakes his head. “Guild regulations state that only one Council member from each Guild should know where the safe locations are. Two of us survived and are now here. Every other person who had access to that information was at the Creepy Hollow Guild meeting the night of The Destruction. None of them made it out alive.”
I swallow. It’s devastating to hear about so many deaths, but it’s also a relief to know that we’re safe here.
“Right, off you go then, Team . . . what was it, Em? Troll’s Butt?”
“Yes, sir.” Em salutes Oliver as a horrified look passes across Fin’s face.
“I cannot believe you told him that,” he murmurs.
“Oh, lighten up, Fin,” Oliver says, clapping Fin’s shoulder. “You’re far too young to be taking life so seriously.” And with that he heads off into the bustle of the dining room.
“Well, forgive me for thinking The Destruction and everything that’s happened since is something that should be taken seriously,” Fin mutters.
Em touches his arm. “We do take it seriously, Fin. It’s just that for people like Oliver and me, if we didn’t laugh we’d probably cry. That’s just the way we roll.” She stands on tiptoe and gives Fin a quick kiss on the cheek. “You should try a smile once in a while. It would look good on you.” She pats his arm, then picks up the empty lunch trays and carries them away.