CHAPTER NINE.
A MINISTERING ANGEL.
Mr Falconer did not die. Kitty asked him to live for her sake, and Idare say he was glad to do so. Dick and the doctor were out of hearingat the time, so that I don't know whether I ought to repeat it.
She often, as she sat by his side, spoke very seriously to him, and usedto read the Bible. One day she asked whether he truly believed it to beGod's word, and to contain His commands to man. He said he did with allhis heart, and that he had always done so.
"Then," she asked, "how is it that you have not always lived accordingto its rules?"
"First, because I did not read the book," he answered; "and, secondly,because I liked to follow my own will."
"And preferred darkness to light, because your deeds were evil? That iswhat the Bible says, Edward, and you believe that it is God's word,"said Kitty, in a firm voice. "But can you now truly say, `I will ariseand go to my Father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinnedagainst heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thyson?'"
She gazed with her bright blue eyes full upon him as she spoke, soinnocent and free from guile.
"Indeed, I truly can," he said.
"Hear these words," she continued, turning rapidly over the leaves ofthe Bible she held before her. "`God so loved the world that he gavehis only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should notperish, but have everlasting life.'"
"The faith, the belief, must be living, active, not a dead faith, andthen how glorious the assurance, if we remember what everlasting lifemeans--a certainty of eternal happiness, which no man can take away, andwhich makes the pains, and sufferings, and anxieties of this life asnothing. I always think of those promises, Edward, whenever I am introuble, and you know I very often am, and I remember that God says, `Iwill never leave thee nor forsake thee.' That, and that alone, hasenabled me to endure the dreadful life I have had to lead on board thisship, until I knew that you loved me. But the being possessed of thatknowledge, though it affords me unspeakable happiness, does not, Iconfess, make me more free from anxiety than I was before. Then I knewthat nothing could take away what I possessed, because it was treasuredin my own heart; but now I cannot help feeling anxious on your account--exposed to numberless dangers as you are, and must be, in the horridwork such as I understand this ship is to be engaged in. When thatdreadful woman insisted on my accompanying her, I understood that theship was to make an ordinary voyage, visiting interesting lands, tradingwith the natives, and catching whales. Had I known the truth I wouldhave resisted her authority, and gone out as a governess or into serviceas a nursery-maid, or done anything rather than have come on board. Butleft an orphan and penniless, and under her guardianship, so sheasserted, I thought it my duty to obey her. I do not regret it now,"she added, quickly; "but I felt that you must have been surprised atfinding me dependent on such a person as Mrs Podgers. I have nevertold you my history--I will do so. When, about ten years ago, my dearmother was dying, just as I was six years old, this woman was her nurse,and pretended to be warmly attached to her. My father, LieutenantRaglan, having married against the wishes of his family, they,considering that my mother, though highly educated and attractive, wasinferior to him in birth and fortune, cast him off, and refused to holdany further communication with him. Just before the time I speak of, hesailed for the East India station, and my dear mother being left at adistance from her own friends, who resided in the West Indies, she hadno one of her own station, when her fatal illness attacked her, to whomshe could confide me. When, therefore, her nurse promised to watch overme with the tenderest care, and to see that I was educated in a waysuitable to my father's position in society, and to restore me to him assoon as he returned, she thankfully left me and all the property shepossessed under her charge. Such is what her nurse, now Mrs Podgers,has always asserted. Providentially, my mother had written to a lady,Mrs Henley, at whose school she herself had been educated, saying, thatit was her express wish that I should be under her charge until I wassixteen, although I was to spend my holidays with nurse till my father'sreturn. I suspect, that at the last, my poor mother had some doubtsabout leaving so much in the power of a woman of inferior education; andI remember seeing her write a paper, which she got the respectable oldlandlord of the house and his son to witness, and it was to be sent, onher death, to my kind friend, Mrs Henley. That paper, or one very likeit, I afterwards saw my nurse destroy.
"On my mother's death, I was sent to Mrs Henley, my nurse insistingthat I should spend the holidays with her. For the first year or twoshe was very kind, and I had nothing to complain of; but after shemarried Captain Podgers, her conduct changed very much, I suspect inconsequence of her having taken to drinking. I did not find this out atthe time, though I thought her occasionally very odd. She insisted thatshe was my guardian, and showed me my mother's handwriting to prove herauthority; and I felt that it was my duty to obey her, though I lived inhopes that by my father's return I should be freed from her control.
"Year after year passed by. Then came the account of the capture anddestruction of his ship and loss of many of her officers, though noinformation as to his fate could be obtained. All I knew, to my grief,was that he did not return. Still I have a hope amounting almost toconfidence that he is alive. The thought that I might possibly meetwith him made me less unwilling than I should otherwise have been toobey Mrs Podgers' commands to accompany her on the voyage she was aboutto make. Her sole motive, I suspect, in wishing me to go, was to savethe expense of my continuing at school. Still I wonder sometimes how Icould have ventured on board, suspecting, as I had already done, thehypocritical character of the woman who had pretended to be so devotedto my mother and me."
"You have, at all events, proved an inestimable blessing to me," saidthe young officer. "Even when I first saw you, I could not believe thatyou were really the daughter of such people as the captain and hiswife."
I do not know that I had before thought much about the matter, but whenI heard now, for the first time, that Miss Kitty was not related to thecaptain and his wife, I felt a sort of relief, and could not helpexclaiming, "Oh, I am so glad!" She smiled as she looked at me, but shemade no reply either to mine or Mr Falconer's remark. She gave usboth, I have no doubt, credit for sincerity.
Although our visits to the wounded mate occupied a good deal of ourtime--I say our visits, for I always accompanied Miss Kitty--we did notneglect the other wounded men.
We went, indeed, to see poor Jonas Webb several times a day. Sorelywounded as he was, he yet could listen to what Miss Kitty said to him,though he was too weak and suffering to utter more than a few words inreply. She one day, finding him worse, asked him solemnly if he wasprepared to meet his God.
"What! do you think I am dying, young lady?" he groaned out, in atrembling voice.
"The doctor says that he has never known any one wounded as badly as youare to recover," she said, in a gentle, but firm voice.
"Oh, but I cannot die!" he murmured. "I have made well-nigh fivehundred pounds, and expected to double it in this cruise, and I cannotleave all that wealth. I want to go home, to live at my ease and enjoyit."
"You cannot take your wealth with you," she answered.
Without saving more, she read from the Bible the account of the rich manand Lazarus. She then went on to the visit of the wealthy young lawyerto Jesus, and paused at the reply of the Lord; she repeated the words,"How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God.For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye than for arich man to enter into the kingdom of God."
"Now," she continued, "you have been trusting in the wealth which, withso much toil and danger, you have been collecting, to enjoy a life ofease and comfort on shore. Suppose God said to you, `Thou fool, thisnight thy soul shall be required of thee!' as He does to many; can youface Him?"
"But I don't see that I have been a bad man. I have always borne a goodcharacter, and, except when the blood
was up, and I have been fightingwith the enemy, or when I have been on shore, may be for a spree, I havenever done anything for which God could be angry with me."
"God looks upon everything that we do, unless in accordance with Hiswill, to be sinful. He does not allow of small sins any more than greatsins; they are hateful in His sight; and He shows us that we are bynature sinful and deserving of punishment, and that, as we owe Himeverything, if we were to spend all our lives in doing only good, weshould be but performing our duty, and still we should have no right inourselves to claim admittance into the pure, and glorious, and happyheaven He has prepared for those alone who love Him. He has soconstituted our souls that they must live for ever, and must either bewith Him in the place of happiness, or be cast into that of punishment.But, my friend, Jesus loves you and all sinners, and though God is sojust that He cannot let sin go unpunished, yet Jesus undertook to bepunished instead of you, and He died on the cross and shed His bloodthat you might go free of punishment. If you will but trust in Him, andbelieve that He was so punished, and that, consequently, God no longerconsiders you worthy of punishment, but giving you, as it were, theholiness and righteousness which belong to Christ, will receive you intothat holy heaven where none but the righteous can enter."
The wounded man groaned and answered slowly, "I am afraid that I am asinner, though I have been trying to make out that I am not one. But Ireally have had a very hard life of it, and no good example set me, andshipmates around me cursing and swearing, and doing all that is bad; andso I hope if I do die, as you say I shall, that God won't keep me out ofheaven."
"Jesus Christ says, `There is only one way by which we can enter; thereis but one door.' `I am the Way, the Truth, and the Light.' `He thatbelieveth on him is not condemned, but he that believeth not iscondemned already, because he hath not believed on the name of theonly-begotten Son of God.' Jesus also says, `He that heareth my word,and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall notcome into condemnation, but is passed from death unto life;' and again,`Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.' Jesus camenot to call the righteous, or those who fancy themselves good enough togo to heaven, as you have been doing, but sinners, to repentance--thosewho know themselves to be sinners. Think how pure and holy God is, andhow different you are to Him, and yet you must be that holy as He isholy to enter heaven. Christ, as I have told you, gives you Hisholiness if you trust to Him; and God says, `Though your sins be asscarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be red like crimson,they shall be as wool;' and, `As far as the east is from the west, sofar will I put your sins from me.' Believe what God says; that is thefirst thing you have to do. Suppose Jesus was to come to you now, and,desperately wounded as you are, tell you to get up and walk; would youbelieve Him, or say that you could not? He said that to many when Hewas on earth, and they took Him at His word, and found that He hadhealed them. There was, among others, a man with a withered hand. WhenHe said, `Stretch forth thine hand,' the man did not say, `I cannot,'but stretched it forth immediately. Just in the same way, when Godsays, `Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved,' dobelieve on Him, and trust to Him to fulfil His promise. God neverdeceives any one; all His words are fulfilled."
Day by day the young girl spoke to the dying seaman, and, thoughwitnessing scenes abhorrent to her feelings, influenced by God's grace,she overcame her repugnance, and faithfully continued to attend him.She had the satisfaction of hearing him cry, "Lord, be merciful to me asinner!" and confess that he had a full hope of forgiveness, through themerits of Jesus alone.
Two of the other men, though apparently not so severely injured as Webb,owing to the ignorance of the surgeon, sank from their wounds. Theydied as they had lived, hardening their hearts against the Saviour'slove.
Had Miss Kitty not been very firm, Mrs Podgers would have prevented herfrom attending the mate or the other wounded men.
Mr Falconer, though for some time confined to his cabin, was at lengthable to get on deck.
"Glad to see you about again," said the captain, as he appeared, in hisusual gruff but not unkind tone. "When I brought the ladies aboard, Ididn't think that they'd prove so useful in looking after the sick;though I doubt if she," and he pointed with his thumb over his shoulderat his wife, "has troubled you much with her attentions."
Before the mate could speak, Mrs Podgers waddled up to him. "Well, MrFalconer, you've found your way out of your cabin at last," she said, inher nasty wheezy tone. "I should have thought that when an officer wasonly slightly hurt, as you were, he might have managed to return to hisduty before this."
The mate said nothing, but the remark made Miss Kitty very angry. Ishould have said, that as Mrs Podgers would not allow me on thequarterdeck, the appearance of the bows in her bonnet above thecompanion-hatch was the signal for me to escape among my friendsforward; and that it was from Dick, who was at the helm, I afterwardsheard of the unpleasant remarks made by that most unattractive offemales.