Chapter IX. Of a Passage of Arms at the Blue Boar
I had slept several hours when I was suddenly aroused by a prodigiouscrash, followed by the clash of arms and shrill cries from the lowerfloor. Springing to my feet I found that the bed upon which my comradehad lain was vacant, and that the door of the apartment was opened. Asthe uproar still continued, and as I seemed to discern his voice in themidst of it, I caught up my sword, and without waiting to put on eitherhead-piece, steel-breast, or arm-plates, I hurried to the scene of thecommotion.
The hall and passage were filled with silly maids and staring drawers,attracted, like myself, by the uproar. Through these I pushed my wayinto the apartment where we had breakfasted in the morning, which wasa scene of the wildest disorder. The round table in the centre hadbeen tilted over upon its side, and three broken bottles of wine, withapples, pears, nuts, and the fragments of the dishes containing them,were littered over the floor. A couple of packs of cards and a dice-boxlay amongst the scattered feast. Close by the door stood Decimus Saxon,with his drawn rapier in his hand and a second one beneath his feet,while facing him there was a young officer in a blue uniform, whose facewas reddened with shame and anger, and who looked wildly about the roomas though in search of some weapon to replace that of which he had beendeprived. He might have served Cibber or Gibbons as a model for a statueof impotent rage. Two other officers dressed in the same blue uniformstood by their comrade, and as I observed that they had laid their handsupon the hilts of their swords, I took my place by Saxon's side, andstood ready to strike in should the occasion arise.
'What would the maitre d'armes say--the maitre d'escrime?' cried mycompanion. 'Methinks he should lose his place for not teaching you tomake a better show. Out on him! Is this the way that he teaches theofficers of his Majesty's guard to use their weapons?'
'This raillery, sir,' said the elder of the three, a squat, brown,heavy-faced man, 'is not undeserved, and yet might perchance bedispensed with. I am free to say that our friend attacked you somewhathastily, and that a little more deference should have been shown by soyoung a soldier to a cavalier of your experience.'
The other officer, who was a fine-looking, noble-featured man, expressedhimself in much the same manner. 'If this apology will serve,' said he,'I am prepared to join in it. If, however, more is required, I shall behappy to take the quarrel upon myself.'
'Nay, nay, take your bradawl!' Saxon answered good-humouredly, kickingthe sword towards his youthful opponent. 'But, mark you! when you wouldlunge, direct your point upwards rather than down, for otherwise youmust throw your wrist open to your antagonist, who can scarce fail todisarm you. In quarte, tierce, or saccoon the same holds good.'
The youth sheathed his sword, but was so overcome by his own easy defeatand the contemptuous way in which his opponent had dismissed him, thathe turned and hurried out of the room. Meanwhile Decimus Saxon and thetwo officers set to work getting the table upon its legs and restoringthe room to some sort of order, in which I did what I could to assistthem.
'I held three queens for the first time to-day,' grumbled the soldier offortune. 'I was about to declare them when this young bantam flew at mythroat. He hath likewise been the cause of our losing three flasks ofmost excellent muscadine. When he hath drunk as much bad wine as I havebeen forced to do, he will not be so hasty in wasting the good.'
'He is a hot-headed youngster,' the older officer replied, 'and a littlesolitary reflection added to the lesson which you have taught him maybring him profit. As for the muscadine, that loss will soon be repaired,the more gladly as your friend here will help us to drink it.'
'I was roused by the crash of weapons,' said I, 'and I scarce know nowwhat has occurred.'
'Why, a mere tavern brawl, which your friend's skill and judgmentprevented from becoming serious. I prythee take the rush-bottomed chair,and do you, Jack, order the wine. If our comrade hath spilled the lastit is for us to furnish this, and the best the cellars contain. We havebeen having a hand at basset, which Mr. Saxon here playeth as skilfullyas he wields the small-sword. It chanced that the luck ran against youngHorsford, which doubtless made him prone to be quick in taking offence.Your friend in conversation, when discoursing of his experiences inforeign countries, remarked that the French household troops were tohis mind brought to a higher state of discipline than any of our ownregiments, on which Horsford fired up, and after a hot word or two theyfound themselves, as you have seen, at drawn bilbo. The boy hath seen noservice, and is therefore over-eager to give proof of his valour.'
'Wherein,' said the tall officer, 'he showed a want of thought towardsme, for had the words been offensive it was for me, who am a seniorcaptain and brevet-major, to take it up, and not for a slip of a cornet,who scarce knows enough to put his troop through the exercise.'
'You say right, Ogilvy,' said the other, resuming his seat by the tableand wiping the cards which had been splashed by the wine.' Had thecomparison been made by an officer of Louis's guard for the purposeof contumely and braggadocio, it would then indeed have become us toventure a passado. But when spoken by an Englishman of ripe experienceit becomes a matter of instructive criticism, which should profit ratherthan annoy.'
'True, Ambrose,' the other answered. 'Without such criticism a forcewould become stagnant, and could never hope to keep level with thosecontinental armies, which are ever striving amongst themselves forincreased efficacy.'
So pleased was I at these sensible remarks on the part of the strangers,that I was right glad to have the opportunity of making their closeracquaintance over a flask of excellent wine. My father's prejudiceshad led me to believe that a King's officer was ever a compound of thecoxcomb and the bully, but I found on testing it that this idea, likemost others which a man takes upon trust, had very little foundationupon truth. As a matter of fact, had they been dressed in less warlikegarb and deprived of their swords and jack-boots, they would have passedas particularly mild-mannered men, for their conversation ran in thelearned channels, and they discussed Boyle's researches in chemistry andthe ponderation of air with much gravity and show of knowledge. Atthe same time, their brisk bearing and manly carriage showed that incultivating the scholar they hail not sacrificed the soldier.
'May I ask, sir,' said one of them, addressing Saxon, 'whether inyour wide experiences you have ever met with any of those sages andphilosophers who have conferred such honour and fame upon France andGermany?'
My companion looked ill at ease, as one who feels that he has been takenoff his ground. 'There was indeed one such at Nurnberg,' he answered,'one Gervinus or Gervanus, who, the folk said, could turn an ingot ofiron into an ingot of gold as easily as I turn this tobacco into ashes.Old Pappenheimer shut him up with a ton of metal, and threatened to putthe thumbikins upon him unless he changed it into gold pieces. I canvouch for it that there was not a yellow boy there, for I was captain ofthe guard and searched the whole dungeon through. To my sorrow I say it,for I had myself added a small iron brazier to the heap, thinking thatif there should be any such change it would be as well that I shouldhave some small share in the experiment.'
'Alchemy, transmutation of metals, and the like have been set aside bytrue science,' remarked the taller officer. 'Even old Sir Thomas Browneof Norwich, who is ever ready to plead the cause of the ancients, canfind nothing to say in favour of it. From Trismegistus downwards throughAlbertus Magnus, Aquinas, Raymond Lullius, Basil Valentine, Paracelsus,and the rest, there is not one who has left more than a cloud of wordsbehind him.'
'Nor did the rogue I mention,' said Saxon. 'There was another,Van Helstatt, who was a man of learning, and cast horoscopes inconsideration of some small fee or honorarium. I have never met so wisea man, for he would talk of the planets and constellations as though hekept them all in his own backyard. He made no more of a comet than if itwere a mouldy china orange, and he explained their nature to us, sayingthat they were but common stars which had had a hole knocked in them, sothat their insides or viscera protruded. He was indeed a philos
opher!'
'And did you ever put his skill to the test?' asked one of the officers,with a smile.
'Not I, forsooth, for I have ever kept myself clear of black magic ordiablerie of the sort. My comrade Pierce Scotton, who was an Oberstin the Imperial cavalry brigade, did pay him a rose noble to have hisfuture expounded. If I remember aright, the stars said that he wasover-fond of wine and women--he had a wicked eye and a nose like acarbuncle. 'They foretold also that he would attain a marshal's batonand die at a ripe age, which might well have come true had he not beenunhorsed a month later at Ober-Graustock, and slain by the hoofs of hisown troop. Neither the planets nor even the experienced farrier ofthe regiment could have told that the brute would have foundered socompletely.'
The officers laughed heartily at my companion's views, and rose fromtheir chairs, for the bottle was empty and the evening beginning todraw in. 'We have work to do here,' said the one addressed as Ogilvy.'Besides, we must find this foolish boy of ours, and tell him that it isno disgrace to be disarmed by so expert a swordsman. We have to preparethe quarters for the regiment, who will be up to join Churchill'sforces not later than to-night. Ye are yourselves bound for the West, Iunderstand?'
'We belong to the Duke of Beaufort's household,' said Saxon.
'Indeed! I thought ye might belong to Portman's yellow regiment ofmilitia. I trust that the Duke will muster every man he can, and makeplay until the royal forces come up.'
'How many will Churchill bring?' asked my companion carelessly.
'Eight hundred horse at the most, but my Lord Feversham will followafter with close on four thousand foot.'
'We may meet on the field of battle, if not before,' said I, and we badeour friendly enemies a very cordial adieu.
'A skilful equivoque that last of yours, Master Micah,' quoth DecimusSaxon, 'though smacking of double dealing in a truth-lover likeyourself. If we meet them in battle I trust that it may be withchevaux-de-frise of pikes and morgenstierns before us, and a litter ofcaltrops in front of them, for Monmouth has no cavalry that could standfor a moment against the Royal Guards.'
'How came you to make their acquaintance?' I asked.
'I slept a few hours, but I have learned in camps to do with littlerest. Finding you in sound slumber, and hearing the rattle of thedice-box below, I came softly down and found means to join theirparty--whereby I am a richer man by fifteen guineas, and might havehad more had that young fool not lugged out at me, or had the talk notturned afterwards upon such unseemly subjects as the laws of chemistryand the like. Prythee, what have the Horse Guards Blue to do with thelaws of chemistry? Wessenburg of the Pandours would, even at his ownmess table, suffer much free talk--more perhaps than fits in with thedignity of a leader. Had his officers ventured upon such matter asthis, however, there would have been a drum-head court-martial, or acashiering at the least.'
Without stopping to dispute either Master Saxon's judgment or that ofWessenburg of the Pandours, I proposed that we should order an eveningmeal, and should employ the remaining hour or two of daylight in lookingover the city. The principal sight is of course the noble cathedral,which is built in such exact proportion that one would fail tounderstand its great size did one not actually enter it and pace roundthe long dim aisles. So solemn were its sweeping arches and the longshafts of coloured light which shone through the stained-glass windows,throwing strange shadows amongst the pillars, that even my companion,albeit not readily impressed, was silent and subdued. It was a greatprayer in stone.
On our way back to the inn we passed the town lock-up, with a railedspace in front of it, in which three great black-muzzled bloodhoundswere stalking about, with fierce crimsoned eyes and red tongues lollingout of their mouths. They were used, a bystander told us, for thehunting down of criminals upon Salisbury Plain, which had been a refugefor rogues and thieves, until this means had been adopted for followingthem to their hiding-places. It was well-nigh dark before we returned tothe hostel, and entirely so by the time that we had eaten our suppers,paid our reckoning, and got ready for the road.
Before we set off I bethought me of the paper which my mother hadslipped into my hand on parting, and drawing it from my pouch I readit by the rushlight in our chamber. It still bore the splotches of thetears which she had dropped on it, poor soul, and ran in this wise:--
'Instructions from Mistress Mary Clarke to her son Micah, on the twelfthday of June in the year of our Lord sixteen hundred and eighty-five.
'On occasion of his going forth, like David of old, to do battlewith the Goliath of Papistry, which hath overshadowed and thrown intodisrepute that true and reverent regard for ritual which should exist inthe real Church of England, as ordained by law.
'Let these points be observed by him, namely, to wit:
'1. Change your hosen when the occasion serves. You have two pairs inyour saddle-bag, and can buy more, for the wool work is good in theWest.
'2. A hare's foot suspended round the neck driveth away colic.
'3. Say the Lord's Prayer night and morning. Also read the scriptures,especially Job, the Psalms, and the Gospel according to St. Matthew.
'4. Daffy's elixir possesses extraordinary powers in purifying the bloodand working off all phlegms, humours, vapours, or rheums. The dose isfive drops. A small phial of it will be found in the barrel of your leftpistol, with wadding around it lest it come to harm.
'5. Ten golden pieces are sewn into the hem of your under doublet. Touchthem not, save as a last resource.
'6. Fight stoutly for the Lord, and yet I pray you, Micah, be not tooforward in battle, but let others do their turn also.
Press not into the heart of the fray, and yet flinch not from thestandard of the Protestant faith.
'And oh, Micah, my own bright boy, come back safe to your mother, or myvery heart will break!
'And the deponent will ever pray.'
The sudden gush of tenderness in the last few lines made the tearsspring to my eyes, and yet I could scarce forbear from smiling at thewhole composition, for my dear mother had little time to cultivate thegraces of style, and it was evidently her thought that in order to makeher instructions binding it was needful to express them in some sort oflegal form. I had little time to think over her advice, however, for Ihad scarce finished reading it before the voice of Decimus Saxon, andthe clink of the horses' hoofs upon the cobble-stones of the yard,informed me that all was ready for our departure.