“Will I like her, Mad?”
How could he ask her that? How could he?! Because he has no idea how you feel, that’s how, and you should be thankful.
But still it had been hard to answer. Her throat had swelled up and she’d struggled to get out the words . . . “Everyone likes Briellen . . .”
And she’d been right: it wouldn’t matter one way or the other. He would marry her because he had to. Because they needed the treaty. Briellen’s secret journey said that more convincingly than ever.
And so at last she’d pulled herself together and stepped through the enspelled doorway to stand at Abramm’s side and face Haldon’s inevitable shock and evil suspicions. At least she had confidence in his ability to keep his mouth shut and could hope the story wouldn’t be all over the palace before she even reached her own quarters.
The Ivory Apartments’ tall paneled door was opened for her by Will Ames, he of Abramm’s personal guard, allowing her to slip into a lofty sitting chamber beyond, while the courtiers outside strained for a glimpse inside.
Gold-gilt ivory wallpaper swirled across walls behind large gold-framed portraits of Kiriathan queens. A rug of pink-rose motif against gray and mauve stretched beneath a scattering of chairs and divans, also in mauve. Two servants were lugging a small trunk into the bedchamber, from which she heard Briellen’s voice, sharp with that imperious edge it got when she was tired and things weren’t going well. As she instructed them where to place it, Maddie almost turned and fled, certain that the moment Briellen glanced at her, she would guess Maddie’s awful secret. Her older sister might tend toward self-absorption, but that very flaw produced in her a hypersensitivity to the actions, words, and expressions of others. Particularly as they affected her own situation. And while it was one thing to laugh about ridiculous rumors, it would be quite another to learn they might have some basis in truth.
But she hadn’t come here just to run away, and she’d had to deal with Briellen all her life. A few more minutes weren’t going to make a difference, and there was no reason to think Briellen would read her that easily. It was guilt that made her feel so exposed. Drawing a deep breath, she strode on.
Briellen Donavan stood in the midst of the bedchamber, cautioning the servants to have care as they lowered the trunk to the floor. Bags and boxes littered the floor around her, and a mingle of cast-off garments—cloaks, hats, blankets—piled the bed behind her. She wore a gown of fine tan-colored wool slashed with panels of forest green silk. Her golden hair was piled atop her head in a billowing cloud, looser than she liked it and frayed around the edges from her travels, the strain of which showed in the dullness of her porcelain pale skin and the dark smudges beneath her startling sky-blue eyes.
As Maddie stopped inside the door, Briellen waved a hand at her and told her to see that water be heated for a bath, then broke off to reprimand one of the servants who had, despite her instructions, dropped the trunk. Midstream, she broke off that, too, and turned again to Maddie, her eyes widening. “Madeleine? Good heavens, girl! I thought you were one of the servants. We’re going to have to deal with your wardrobe, I see. . . .” She opened wide her arms. “Come and give me a hug. It’s good to finally see a friendly face around here.”
Reluctantly Maddie came forward to embrace her sister. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I just learned you were here.”
“Just learned?” Briellen drew back from her. “I’ve been here over an hour! And where is Leyton?”
“I don’t know. But we just heard yesterday that you’d crossed the Rhivaald. No one expected you to be here this soon.”
“But I sent word. Last night just after we set up camp. A special rider.”
Camp? Briellen was camping? That more than anything attested to the urgency and the importance of Briellen’s mission.
“So far as I know he never arrived,” Maddie said.
“Or if he did, his message wasn’t brought to the right places.” Briellen rolled her eyes. “Right. What am I thinking? I’m in Kiriath, after all. Someone probably wanted to embarrass me.” She turned to one of her servants and sent the girl out for bath water.
“Well, not anyone associated with the king,” Maddie assured her.
A slight frown creased her sister’s brow. “I suppose not. If it weren’t for Count Byron I might still be standing on the front step.” The frown deepened. “Where were you, anyway? They said you couldn’t be found, but I can’t see how that is possible.”
“You know I’ve always been good at slipping away when I want to.”
Briellen frowned at her. “Why would you need to slip away here?”
Maddie told her about her research and the problem with someone taking her notes.
“So you were at the University,” Briellen said. “In the library. Not with Abramm.”
Maddie hoped her flinch of surprise didn’t show. “Why would I have been with Abramm?”
Briellen flung up a hand. “Well, I don’t know. They say you two have become quite close, and he was apparently missing, too. Supposed to have gone riding this morning, then changed his mind at the last minute and returned to his apartments. Not long after that they couldn’t find him.” She stepped aside as a pair of servants came in with pails of bath water, passing between the two women and on into the adjoining, tile-walled bath chamber. When her gaze came back to Maddie, it was sharp with something that looked very much like suspicion. “I also overheard the servants talking. Apparently you were seen both entering and exiting his apartments during the same time period. Disguised as a servant, they said.”
There was no way Maddie could stop the blood from draining out of her face, nor her mouth from falling open. She had been right to fear the tale would spread fast, it seemed. But who was responsible? Not Haldon, certainly. Nor the members of Abramm’s guard. . . . So it must have been someone in the antechamber she’d passed through in hopes of going unnoticed in the stream of other menials serving the royal residence.
She realized suddenly that Briellen’s sharp expression had turned to one of gray-faced shock. “It’s true?”
Too late to deny it now. Anyway, she preferred not to lie. “I was there, yes, but—”
“Hagin’s beard, Maddie!” Bree jerked away from her, only to whirl sharply back. “Have you lost your mind? Seducing your own sister’s fiancé?”
“I wasn’t—”
“They said you’ve been seeing him for months.” Her voice began to rise. “That you had near free rein of his apartments. They even said you may be carrying his bastard!”
“I’m not! Plagues, Bree, calm down. You of all people should know how vicious the gossips can be. They hate me precisely because I’ve been standing in for you, and many of them think Abramm should marry one of their own.” She lowered her voice. “There are women in this court who would like nothing more than to see this treaty destroyed.”
Briellen had her arms folded across her chest. “You just admitted to being in his chambers, Madeleine.”
“Yes, but not for that. I told you, I’m researching Kiriathan history. I only went there because I needed some materials from his library and, as you yourself pointed out, he was supposed to be out riding.”
“And you had to dress up as a servant to do this?”
“I was hoping to deflect the gossip, not fuel it. I didn’t think anyone would notice me.” But someone had. The one who’d stolen her book and map, perhaps? The one who already knew of the hidden library?
Briellen still looked unconvinced.
“I swear to you, Bree. There is nothing like that between us.”
“So you don’t have feelings for him?”
Maddie drew a deep breath and let it out. “We’re friends.” Certainly that’s the case as far as he’s concerned.
The crease was back between Briellen’s brows, and Maddie feared that her attempt to evade the question had only succeeded in answering it. She sighed. “Oh, Bree . . . what difference does it make? Even aside from the immora
lity of what is being suggested—do you really think I would do such a thing to you? To Papa and Leyton? To all of Chesedh?”
Briellen only stared at her, that half frown on her face, suspicion simmering in her eyes.
Maddie exhaled in exasperation. “You can’t seriously be regarding me as your competition, can you? I swear, all I am to him is a researcher. One he often finds pushy, intrusive, and irritating.”
That finally seemed to break the ice. Briellen snorted ironically. “Well, I, of all people, know how irritating you can be.”
Maddie refrained from saying she often had similar thoughts about Briellen and shook her head again. “The moment he sees you, Bree, I’ve no doubt he’ll be smitten like all the others.”
At this, the last vestiges of hurt and suspicion vanished, and a smile twitched her sister’s perfect lips. “You think so?”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “You don’t?”
The smile gave way to a relieved sigh, followed by an impulsive, repentant hug. “I’m sorry for doubting you, Mad. It was just . . . to be hit with it first thing.” She spun away chuckling. “I have to admit, I did find the notion of you as a king’s paramour hard to imagine. And now that I think about it, this whole misadventure is so typical.” She shook her head. “Will you ever grow up, girl? You know when you’re royalty you can’t do anything in a palace without someone seeing you. Even the mice watch and whisper.”
Maddie didn’t bother to inform her that for most of her life she’d done plenty of things people hadn’t seen, even when she did them in plain sight. It was only her ties to Abramm and Briellen that drew the attention to her now. Ties that very soon now—hopefully today—would be broken, leaving her free to retire to the solitude of her library cubicle and her books, where she would lose herself in unraveling the workings of the guardstars and the regalia.
The mantel clock struck the half hour, drawing Briellen around with a sudden new concern. “Where is Leyton?”
“He must’ve gone out riding,” Maddie said. But she, too, was growing restless. She’d planned to stay only long enough for Leyton to take her place. Having narrowly escaped one disaster, she wanted to be gone before Briellen dragged her into this afternoon’s proceedings. With most of her ladies apparently still on the road, she seemed to have almost no attendants, which made Maddie very uneasy. The last place in the world she wanted to be was at Briellen’s side when Abramm got his first look at her.
“Can’t they send someone out for him?” Briellen asked.
“I could go, if you like.”
Briellen waved a pale hand. “Don’t be silly. I need you here. I’m set to meet the king at four o’clock, which doesn’t give us much time.”
“Us?”
Briellen ignored the question, turning to the two gowns her maids had just laid out on the bed, one silver, one burgundy and lace. “I haven’t decided which dress I should wear and I was counting on his advice.” She gestured at the gowns. “What do you think? Should it be the silver or the burgundy?” She picked up the latter and pressed it to her body, holding the bodice up to her neck. “I’d like to wear the burgundy, but I fear it might be too frivolous for the occasion.”
Indeed, it was a frothy thing. “Why do you ask me?” Maddie demanded crankily. “You know I pay little attention to that sort of thing.”
“Yes, but . . .”
“It’s got to be the silver, my dear,” said a familiar male voice. “If he is the king of Light, you must be the radiant queen.”
They turned to find their brother standing just inside the door, handing his gloves off to one of the servants as another took his cloak.
“Leyton!” Briellen flew across the room into his arms, and he spun her around, just as he had done since they were children.
She immediately launched into a running stream of all that had befallen her since the moment she’d left Salmanca, words tumbling over one another as she unloaded all her adventures and trials and worries upon her always attentive big brother. When she’d finally run down and they parted, Leyton turned stern eyes upon Maddie. “What’s this I hear about you being seen in the king’s apartments this morning?”
“We’ve already resolved that, Leyton,” Briellen said. “She was after some books. Now . . . you’re sure about the silver?”
“Absolutely.”
Briellen nodded and turned to Maddie. “That means you can wear the burgundy, then.”
Maddie scowled at her. “Why would I want to wear your dress?”
“Because, knowing you, I’m sure none of yours would be acceptable for a formal presentation.”
Maddie’s mouth fell open. “Wait a minute, Bree. I’m not—”
“Yes you are, and don’t argue with me. Don’t pretend to be surprised, either. You have to have realized that with all my ladies still on the road, I have no other attendants.”
“But . . .” Maddie could hardly breathe. “I can’t . . .”
“Nonsense. This dress is the height of fashion. Even you will look lovely in it.”
“Not that that matters,” said Leyton, “since no one will be looking at you anyway.”
“He’s right,” Briellen assured her with a smile. “You’ll be hardly more than a dress.”
“Then grab one of your maids and put her in it. I have other things to do besides be a dress.”
Briellen rolled her eyes. “A maid as my attendant? The first time I’m presented to my bridegroom? Don’t be absurd.”
“Though it might not be a bad idea,” Leyton muttered, “given Maddie’s record.”
Briellen ignored him, looking at the gown, then at Maddie. “It is going to have to be taken out. You seem to have put on a bit of weight since I saw you last.” Briellen turned to her maids. “Nelisa, start ripping out the bodice seams. You can fit her while I have my bath.” She turned to Maddie. “That way you can tell me all about Abramm. I want every little detail so as to make the best possible impression.” She smiled sweetly.
Maddie stared at her in shock, words of utter and absolute refusal poised on her tongue. She must’ve been wrong in her earlier conclusion that Briellen had guessed her true feelings. Not even Briellen could be this cruel.
Oh, please, Father . . . don’t make me do this. . . .
But despite her plea, no deliverance came. Knowing that if she made too much of a fuss she would only resurrect Bree’s suspicions and get her all out of sorts, she acquiesced, resolving to bear it as best she could. Eidon would get her through this.
And so he did. But it was hard. Hard to endure the subtle put-downs Briellen shot at her all afternoon, hard to endure the tedium of being fitted and dressed and fussed over all the while feeling like the proverbial sow’s ear that could never become a silk purse. Seeing Briellen’s beauty so closely beside her own plainness made her more painfully self-conscious than she’d felt in years.
Her siblings were right when they had insisted no one would notice her. When finally they stepped out of the Ivory Apartments to make the progression to the throne room, she was so completely lost in the corona of Briellen’s radiance she doubted the few people who looked at her even recognized her.
The courtiers were awestruck by Briellen’s glittering presence, her grace, her beauty, her gracious way with them. No cool ice princess, she stopped to speak to people along the way, received their adoring comments with thanksgiving and flashed her winning smile repeatedly, leaving behind a swath of star-struck aristocrats.
As always, the men could hardly keep their jaws off the floor, their eyes darting from her plunging décolletage to the sweet innocence of her perfect features and luminous blue eyes. And though in some foolish and irrational part of Maddie’s mind she had clung to the belief that Abramm would be different, he wasn’t. Sitting there on his throne in all his glory, he stared at her glaze-eyed like all the rest. In fact, he was probably worse.
She recalled little of the remainder of the ceremony, and dinner passed in an increasingly painful blur. Being Second D
aughter she had to sit directly right of Briellen and the king, close enough she could hear their conversation. Could hear her sister utter the very comments and questions Maddie herself had fed her that very afternoon, which often provoked his laughter and almost always a gratifying response. She reflected on what an odd thing it was to keep her gaze deliberately averted from the man yet have all her attention riveted upon him just the same. He fairly glowed with Light and power at the edge of her field of vision, the essence of him filling all her soul, her awareness of his presence so acute she could hardly bear it.
Briellen, of course, ignored her, as did Abramm. Which left only Count Blackwell, seated on Maddie’s right, to distract her. And he was almost worse than no distraction at all. He kept looking at her with a bright, invasive intensity and asking if she was all right—for she didn’t look well—until she wanted to scream at him to shut up, that she wasn’t all right and there was a good chance she might never be all right again. When he wasn’t pestering her about her health, he drooled over Briellen, marveling at her beauty and her charm and remarking repeatedly at what a wonderful queen she would make. His conversation couldn’t have been more distressing if he’d deliberately tried to make it so. When he began to speculate as to how soon an heir might come along, she had to turn away and concentrate on eating her dessert, beseeching Eidon to draw his attention away from her.
Terstmeet was somewhat better, for it gave her something else to think about and to her relief wasn’t a diatribe on jealousy and self-pity, though she thought perhaps she needed one. Even better, Briellen nodded off midway through the message, which wasn’t something Maddie should rejoice about but did anyway—for she knew Abramm would not be impressed by it. Then she confessed her judgmental attitude and reminded herself that it would make no difference whether he was impressed or not, he would still marry her. Besides, the poor girl had had a very long day, at the end of a long and difficult journey, in addition to having a very short attention span and no experience with the Kiriathan Terstans’ way of worshipping.