Emily Sweete’s face lit right up. She pointed to a curly-headed boy at the end of the hall. “Him! Him! It was Arnie Schwartz! Arnie Schwartz kicks everything!”
Rosie looked down the hall. Arnie Schwartz, she thought. What do you know … I found you.
She thanked Emily and gave her a hug. Five was such a great age. No one loved to tattle better than five-year-olds.
Too bad that most of them outgrew it.
When Rosie got back to her room, she pulled her yellow notepad from her desk. Quickly, she began to write:
Dear Kindergarten Teacher,
Arnold Schwartz was kicking the
Dumpster during the fire drill on
Friday. He didn’t get caught, but it’s
not too late to speak to him about this.
Kicking and denting public
property are against the law.
Rosie stopped and looked down at what she’d written. She read it over and over. Something didn’t sound right, but she wasn’t sure what. She thought and thought. Then slowly, it became clearer.
She picked up her pencil again.
Dear Kindergarten Teacher,
Arnold Schwartz was kicking the
Dumpster during the fire drill on
Friday. He didn’t get caught. But it’s
not too late to speak to him about
this. Kicking the Dumpster is so in
considerate. If people are hiding in
the Dumpster waiting to ditch school,
loud kicking can give them a headache.
Rosie reread the note one last time. If you were going to be a tattletale, it was only fair to include all the facts.
She stuck the yellow pad back into her desk. When the bell rang for recess, she slipped it into her back pocket and hustled outside.
The Dumpster was at the very end of the parking lot. Rosie hurried down there and ripped the note about Arnie Schwartz off her pad. After taking one last look at it, she wadded it up and sent it sailing over the side of the big can.
A few seconds later, her yellow notepad came sailing in behind it.
When Maxie walked into his classroom, Mrs. Trout wasn’t there yet. Daniel W. was, though. Daniel had gotten there early just to wait for Maxie.
As soon as Maxie sat down, Daniel W. was all over him. “You owe me a shirt, Zuckerman,” he said. “I want the exact same kind, too. I mean it. The exact same green-and-brown camouflage T-shirt as the one you ruined.”
Maxie smiled. After all the stress of the weekend, Daniel’s stupid army T-shirt hardly seemed important. “What if I just buy a white T-shirt and let something green and brown throw up on it?” he suggested.
Daniel W. was just about to grab Maxie by the collar when Mrs. Trout walked into the room.
“Problem, gentlemen?” she asked.
Daniel raised his hand. “Tell him he has to buy me the exact same shirt, Mrs. Trout. Tell him!”
“I think that’s already understood, isn’t it, Maxie?” she asked.
Maxie nodded. “Yes, ma’am. Yes, it is,” he said.
Just then, there was a light knock on the door. When Maxie looked up, he saw Mr. Foote, the music teacher, wheeling in his portable keyboard. Just like Mr. Bucky, Mr. Foote had lost his own classroom last year. But unlike Mr. Bucky, Mr. Foote was almost always in a good mood.
He hummed as he lifted a big cardboard box from the top of the keyboard and began passing out wood blocks and drumsticks. Babyish or not, Mr. Foote believed in teaching his students timing, beat, and rhythm.
Unfortunately, there were never enough drumsticks to go around. So, unless someone was absent, Maxie almost always had to play his wood block with a wooden spoon from the cafeteria.
This time, when Mr. Foote got to Maxie’s desk, they both looked down in the box. “Gee, what do you know? I get the wooden spoon again,” said Maxie.
Mr. Foote smiled. “Wood is wood,” he replied, and he went back to the front.
Daniel W. spun around and laughed in his face. “Look on the bright side. You’re the only one in the room who can play your instrument and eat a bowl of soup at the same time.”
In the front of the room, Mr. Foote was passing out songbooks.
“Today, we’re going to finish learning all the verses to ‘Home on the Range,’ ” he said. “If we tap rhythmically on our wood blocks, we can make them sound like horses’ hooves clopping across the desert.”
There were moans and groans from all parts of the room, but Mr. Foote ignored them.
“Page thirty-four, please.” After that, he stood at his keyboard and held his hands in the air like a conductor.
Daniel W. turned around again. “Hey, Zuckerman? You got your spoon ready?” he asked loudly.
The kids in front of him looked back and started to grin. More than anything, Maxie wished he didn’t have to look at their faces.
Then, all of a sudden, he remembered something he’d learned in the Dumpster. If you really, really, really didn’t want to see something, just don’t look.
He lowered his eyes. There! Now he couldn’t see anyone at all. And even better, as he was looking down at his own desktop, he caught sight of his lunch sack sticking out of his desk.
Maxie began to smile. Maybe Daniel W. was right. Maybe this old wooden spoon had more than one purpose.
As his classmates held out their instruments and got ready to sing, Maxie Zuckerman snuck his hand into his desk and opened the top of his lunch sack.
“Aaaaaand begin!” said Mr. Foote, getting them started.
All over the room, kids began keeping time to the tune.
Oh, give me a hooooome,
Where the buffalo roooooam,
And the deer and the antelope plaaaaaaay.
Keeping an eye on the music teacher, Maxie pretended to sing along with the others. Then, as soon as Mr. Foote wasn’t looking, he carefully pulled the chocolate pudding cup out of his lunch bag.
Where seldom is hearrrrrrrd,
A discouraging worrrrrd …
By the time his class had finished the song, Maxie Zuckerman had finished his pudding.
He smacked his lips and put down the spoon.
Earl Wilber’s class had PE at 10:15. Today, Ms. Garcia was making them play kickball. Earl was in the outfield. He hated being in the outfield. It was boring and hot, and nothing ever came to him.
The other team had been up forever, it seemed. Earl Wilber squatted down in the grass. When Ms. Garcia didn’t tell him to stand up again, he sat down all the way.
That’s when he heard it. A loud buzzing sound had started up behind him. What was that noise? It sounded so familiar. It sounded like a … a weed trimmer.
Earl turned. Oh no! It was Mr. Jim! He was trimming the weeds in the outfield not far from where Earl sat!
In a flash, Earl pulled his mother’s huge sunglasses out of his pocket and shoved them on his face. This was the moment he’d been dreading. If Mr. Jim recognized his face, he’d turn him in to Mr. Shivers for sure!
Earl had to get out of the outfield! He stood up and waved his hand in the air for Ms. Garcia to see. He’d tell her he had to go to the bathroom. He’d tell her he was sick. Anything to get him away from Mr. Jim!
But luck was not on Earl’s side. Before Ms. Garcia could see him, Rodney Russell Rodgers came up to the plate and kicked the ball right over the head of the second baseman.
Earl gulped. The ball was rolling straight toward him! Everyone was watching.
“Get it, Earl! Get the ball!” they screamed from all over the field. “Hurry! Hurry! Run! Run!”
Just then, the weed trimmer stopped buzzing. Mr. Jim was watching, too. Earl could feel his eyes on his back.
But no matter what, he had to get the ball. He couldn’t look like a doofus in front of his class. Not again. So keeping his head down, he chased it directly past Mr. Jim.
He picked it up and hurled it back with all his might.
For once, it went in the right direction! Earl’
s class started to clap. Rodney Russell Rodgers was out at home!
It should have been a nice moment. But Earl could still feel Mr. Jim looking at him.
When would this ever be over? Hadn’t they been punished enough for ditching school? Did the stress have to go on forever?
Suddenly, without even thinking about it, Earl took off his sunglasses and looked straight at the custodian.
“We made a mistake, okay?” he said. “I mean, geez, everybody does the wrong thing sometimes. Even you, I bet. Haven’t you ever done the wrong thing, Mr. Jim? Huh? Haven’t you ever made a mistake?”
Mr. Jim didn’t say a word. Instead, he reached down to start the weed trimmer again. But right before he did, just a hint of a smile showed on his face. “Yep” was all he said.
Then he looked up at Earl and winked.
Stunned, Earl stood there for a second. Then finally, he wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. And he winked back.
Maxie was waiting at the swings after school. He didn’t know if the others would show up. They hadn’t planned to meet or anything. But for some reason, he thought they would come.
Rosie spotted him on her way out of the gate. Earl did, too.
As the three of them hurried toward each other, Maxie gave them a thumbs-up. Rosie grinned and gave him the all-clear signal. Earl made the “okay” sign with his finger and thumb.
As soon as they got close enough, everyone began talking at once. Rosie gave them the good news about Emily Sweete and how she wasn’t going to tell. Earl told them about his run-in with Mr. Jim. Maxie talked about music class. There was still pudding on his lip.
They started to laugh. Earl and Rosie high-fived. Maxie and Rosie low-fived. When Earl tried to put on his sunglasses again, Maxie jumped on his back and wrestled him to the ground. Rosie piled on top of them.
Suddenly, they felt like best friends.
They looked at each other and smiled.
Yeah. Just maybe they were.
Maxie’s Words
dipsey (DIP-see)—a sinker for a fishing line (this page)
foozle (FOO-zul)—fumble (this page)
fub (fub)—cheat; trick (this page)
fuff (fuf)—puff (this page)
mungo (MUNG-go)—the waste produced from hard-spun or felted cloth (this page)
niblick (NIB-lick)—a golf club with a slanted iron head for lifting the ball out of bunkers, long grass, etc. (this page)
slub (slub)—a slightly twisted roll of cotton, wool, or silk (this page)
Barbara Park is one of today’s funniest, most popular writers for middle-graders. Her novels, which include Skinnybones, The Kid in the Red Jacket, Rosie Swanson: Fourth-Grade Geek for President, and Dear God, Help!!! Love, Earl, have won just about every award given by children.
She has also created the Junie B. Jones character for the Random House Stepping Stone Books list. Recent books about Junie include Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, Junie B. Jones and the Mushy Gushy Valentime, and Junie B. Jones Has a Peep in Her Pocket.
Ms. Park earned a B.S. degree in education at the University of Alabama and lives in Scottsdale, Arizona, with her husband.
If you liked Maxie, Rosie, and Earl—Partners in Grime, then don’t miss these next two books in the Geek Chronicles trilogy!
Geek Chronicles 2:
Rosie Swanson: Fourth-Grade Geek for President
Sure, Rosie Swanson wears geeky glasses and tattles on her classmates. But, hey, snitching has its good side. Thanks to her, Ronald Milligan has stopped blowing his nose in the water fountain. And now Rosie is determined to do even more for her classmates—by becoming president of the fourth grade! With the help of her two best (and only) friends, Maxie and Earl, Rosie devises a brilliant campaign to defeat the two most popular kids in her class: soccer star Alan Allen and model-wannabe Summer Lynne Jones. But when Alan steals Rosie’s slogans, it’s time to watch out. Nosy Rosie is on the warpath!
“As bright and funny as they come.”
—Kirkus Reviews
Available wherever books are sold!
ISBN: 0-679-83371-4
Geek Chronicles 3:
Dear God, Help!!! Love, Earl
Wimpy Earl Wilber has just met death, and his name is Eddie McFee. Eddie is the meanest, toughest kid in the fifth grade, and Earl has to pay him one dollar a week to keep Eddie from beating him up. Luckily, Earl’s pals, Rosie the Snoop and Maxie the Brain, have decided to help him out. Maxie has a great plan that should keep Eddie out of Earl’s life for good. Now all Earl has to do is pretend to be dead …
“Barbara Park is one of the funniest writers around” (Booklist)—and she’s got 40 Children’s Choice awards to prove it!
Available wherever books are sold!
ISBN: 0-679-85395-2
Barbara Park, Maxie, Rosie, and Earl-Partners in Grime
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