Through the pain, Sawyer couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.
“So... I was thinking how nice Shannon is and how much I love Darwin, too, and I thought maybe she could be my mommy.”
A heavy sigh escaped Sawyer. “That’s a nice idea, Dylan, but it’s not that easy.”
“I know!” he said and rushed on, obviously wanting to sell his plan to Sawyer. “Aunt Meg told me all about it. You have to buy a ring and ask her and everything.” He pulled his drawing off the counter. “See, that’s what this is,” he said, pointing to the object in Sawyer’s hand. “That’s the ring. And we...” He pointed to the depictions of Sawyer, himself and Rufus. “We’re asking Shannon to marry us and be my mommy. And then see the heart?”
Sawyer didn’t trust his voice, so he simply nodded.
“That’s supposed to be a locket. Like the one you said was Mommy’s. We have to get another one and put our picture inside, like in my drawing.”
Dylan’s eyes were luminous and glowing with hope as he stared up at Sawyer. “So, do you think Shannon would marry us?”
* * *
HOURS AFTER DYLAN went to bed, Sawyer couldn’t get the thought of marrying Shannon out of his mind. It seemed his kid was smarter than he was in some ways.
He loved Shannon. He’d accepted that a while ago, but he’d foolishly waited to tell her. Waited for the right time.
He’d waited too long.
He couldn’t blame her for not being able to put up with his ups and downs, but surely she’d understand that was all behind them now.
Or would she?
Had he hurt her too much? Been inconsistent too many times?
With everything that had gone on, how could he convince her that he did love her? That he wanted to marry her. And that neither of those things was going to change. He wanted to make a home with her.
Sawyer’s gaze landed on Dylan’s drawing, and it gave him an idea.
* * *
SAWYER CALLED SHANNON early the next morning. “Dylan and I have something we’d like to give you. Any chance we could stop by after your shift this evening?”
“Oh, there’s no need for you to give me anything,” Shannon objected. “It’s my job.”
She was having a hard enough time trying to get over Sawyer and Dylan. Seeing them would only exacerbate the pain.
“It’s really something from Dylan,” Sawyer went on.
At least it would give her a chance to see Dylan and say goodbye to him, although the thought of seeing Sawyer again created a burning need inside her. “Okay,” she finally agreed.
When she opened her door that evening, it was only Sawyer standing on her porch.
She glanced around. “Where’s Dylan?”
Sawyer stepped to the side and pointed to his Range Rover. “Right there.”
Dylan sat in the passenger seat with a huge grin on his face. When he noticed her looking at him, he waved energetically.
“Will he be okay there alone? Why don’t you bring him in?”
Sawyer’s smile turned sheepish. “Okay, if he can play in another room with Darwin.”
Shannon’s instincts told her there was something going on here. “Okay,” she said uncertainly.
Sawyer jogged back to his SUV, helped Dylan out and handed him a long cardboard tube that must have been on the seat beside him. Next, Sawyer let Rufus out.
Shannon raised her brows over the dog, but didn’t have a chance to ask why he was there, because Dylan threw his arms around her and hugged her so hard, it was as if his life depended on it.
After Dylan hugged Darwin with equal fervor, they let the two dogs get acquainted. They then got Dylan and the dogs settled in the kitchen.
Sawyer took Shannon’s hand, held the cardboard tube with the other and led her to the living room. He placed the tube on Shannon’s coffee table, tugged her down beside him and continued to hold her hand.
The emotions rioting through her at his presence and his gentle touch threatened to overwhelm her. She wanted to yell at him, insist he give her whatever they’d come to give her and be gone, because she couldn’t be with him much longer and not reveal how she felt about him.
“There’s something I need to tell you before I give you what we brought.”
“All right...” She wanted him to go on while she could still outwardly control her emotions.
He grasped her other hand, too. “Shannon, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. I know it hasn’t been easy and I’ve been all over the map, but I have to tell you...I love you.”
The sound she made was more like a croak than a gasp. She tried to pull her hands free, but he held tight. “Shannon, listen to me. I love you.”
Through the haze of tears, she tried to find her voice. “Sawyer, I...I can’t do this.”
His eyes had never looked brighter. Or greener. “Can you tell me you don’t love me?” he challenged.
“I do love you, damn it! I’ve been falling in love with you almost since the day we met. But the roller-coaster ups and downs have been destroying me. I know it’s not your fault, but I just can’t do this,” she repeated. “Each time you backed away, it tore me apart more than the time before,” she added in a whisper.
“It’s different now.”
“There’s still so much you and Dylan have to work through. How can I trust that you won’t withdraw from me again?”
“First, because now Dylan’s home to stay. Thanks to you...” He stroked the length of her arm. “Second, because I’ve never told you before that I love you.”
Shannon rose and backed away from him. These were not the circumstances under which she’d longed to hear those words from Sawyer. And if he did change his mind again, she wasn’t certain she’d survive it. She felt his hands on her shoulders, then his lips—featherlight—against the curve of her neck, trailing kisses up to her ear.
She stepped farther away. Away from his touch. “No, Sawyer. I’m sorry, but I can’t go through this again...”
Sawyer turned her to face him. “Give me a minute. Please.” He grabbed the cardboard tube and started to pull something out of it, then paused to wave toward the kitchen. Shannon glanced over her shoulder just in time to see Dylan’s smiling face before he ducked behind the wall—Darwin and Rufus following him.
When she looked back at Sawyer, he had a rolled piece of paper in his hand and nudged her down on the sofa and sat next to her.
“Can we agree on one thing?” he asked with a half smile.
“Depends on what it is.” Her heart was beating so fast and hard, she could feel it pounding against her rib cage.
“Can we agree that Dylan is the most important thing in the world to me, and I’d never let him down or do anything intentionally to hurt him?”
Shannon found she could smile, too. “No question about that.”
He nodded and his smile spread. “Okay. Good. Do you believe that if I promised him I’d do something, I’d keep my word?”
“Yes. But, Sawyer...”
“Just wait!” He unrolled the sheet of paper and looked at it for a few seconds before handing it to her.
As she stared at the drawing, her throat seemed to close, and tears leaked from her eyes. “I...I don’t understand...”
“Dylan made this drawing. He wanted to know if you could be his mommy.”
By now, the tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. She swiped at them with the back of her hand. S
awyer reached into a pocket and passed her a clean handkerchief.
“I told him that nothing would make me happier than to have you as his mommy. And as my wife.” He paused. Waited for her to wipe her eyes again. “And I promised Dylan I would love you forever, and that I’d ask you to marry me. Now I’ll promise you the same thing. That I’ll love you forever. I don’t have a ring yet. I thought we’d choose that together. But I do have this drawing.” He held it out to her again, and she accepted it with trembling hands. “Shannon, I love you. Will you marry me?”
Through her tears, she managed a strangled “yes,” then threw herself into his arms.
Dylan let out a whoop from the archway to the kitchen and came charging in, Darwin and Rufus at his heels.
Suddenly, Shannon was in the center of a tangle of limbs and fur...and had never been happier.
* * * * *
Don’t miss other novels in the SAN DIEGO K-9 UNIT miniseries from acclaimed author Kate James—WHEN THE RIGHT ONE COMES ALONG, WHEN LOVE MATTERS MOST and WHEN I FOUND YOU. Available from www.Harlequin.com today!
Keep reading for an excerpt from AFRAID TO LOSE HER by Syndi Powell.
Join Harlequin My Rewards today and earn a FREE ebook!
Click here to Join Harlequin My Rewards
http://www.harlequin.com/myrewards.html?mt=loyalty&cmpid=EBOOBPBPA201602010003
We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin Heartwarming title.
You’ve got to have heart.... Harlequin Heartwarming celebrates wholesome, heartfelt relationships imbued with the traditional values so important to you: home, family, community and love.
Enjoy four new stories from Harlequin Heartwarming every month!
Connect with us on Harlequin.com for info on our new releases, access to exclusive offers, free online reads and much more!
Other ways to keep in touch:
Harlequin.com/newsletters
Facebook.com/HarlequinBooks
Twitter.com/HarlequinBooks
HarlequinBlog.com
Join Harlequin My Rewards & Instantly earn a FREE ebook of your choice.
Earn points for every Harlequin print and ebook you buy, wherever & whenever you shop.
Turn your points into FREE BOOKS.
Don’t miss out. Reward the book lover in you!
Register Today & Earn a FREE BOOK*
*New members who join before December 31st, 2017 will receive 2000 points redeemable for eligible titles.
Click here to register
Or visit us online to register at
http://www.harlequin.com/myrewards.html?mt=loyalty&cmpid=EBOOBPBPA201602010001
Afraid to Lose Her
by Syndi Powell
CHAPTER ONE
SHERRITA LOPEZ TOOK a sip of lukewarm coffee from the cardboard cup and glanced around the group of about a dozen federal agents that had gathered in a parking lot of the building that housed the Drug Enforcement Agency. They all looked similar in navy jackets with “DEA” or “ATF” written in gold on the back. They even seemed to have the same haircut. She pulled her long brown hair over one shoulder and wished she fit in better. Maybe she shouldn’t have worn her usual work outfit: navy suit jacket, white blouse and navy pants.
Her partner from Border Patrol had promised he’d meet her there, but she’d seen no sign of Desmond Jackson. A woman in a navy nylon jacket walked up to her and nodded at the cup of coffee. “That any good?”
Sherri shrugged. “It’s caffeine at least.” She looked the woman over. “You with the DEA?”
“I’m Darla.” The woman nodded and leaned against a parked van. “It’s amazing, you know. I don’t have many women in my office, but they put our agencies together and I automatically gravitate toward you. It’s nice to see a feminine face among all these hard masculine ones. Like calling to like, I guess.”
“It’s hard being one of the few. I understand that well enough.” She took another draw of her coffee. “Do you know what the scoop is with this raid? Details have been sketchy.”
“Gang bringing drugs over from Canada, which is why I guess they brought you Border Patrol agents in.” She glanced around. “I just wish we’d stop standing around and actually do something. But hurry up and wait seems to be the agenda for the day.”
“They’re probably waiting for someone. Or something.”
At that, she spotted the bald head of her tall partner moving through the other agents. He stood head and shoulders above most as he wound his way around toward her. His light brown skin bathed in the early sunlight. Sherri waved Dez over and glanced at her watch. He shrugged and passed her a cup of real coffee from their favorite diner. “Had to make a stop. I know you wouldn’t be able to handle the action without real coffee.”
She took the cup and smiled. “Bless you.”
He nodded at the female Drug Enforcement agent. “You hear anything about when we’re going in?”
Sherri shook her head. “Soon, I guess.”
The woman crossed her arms over her chest. “Like I said, it’s the agency policy. Hurry up and wait.” She held a hand out to Sherri. “Nice meeting you. How about after this we go out for lunch or something? I’d love to hear about your experience. Maybe compare notes.”
Sherri shook her hand. “I’d like that. Good luck out there.”
Darla nodded and walked away. Dez turned back to her. “New friend?”
“Maybe. She was happy to see another woman among all the testosterone.” She finished her first coffee and searched the lot for a garbage can and walked to it and tossed it in. Turning, she took a sip of the coffee that Dez had brought her and sighed. “I hate this waiting around. Just give us our orders and let’s do this thing.” She turned to her partner and eyed his jeans paired with a white button-down shirt. “A little casual for you.”
He looked down at his outfit. “It’s a raid on a Saturday, not dinner with the president. Listen. I told the guy in charge that we’d take point, if that’s okay with you.”
Absolutely it was. She had jumped at the chance to volunteer in order to coordinate efforts along with Dez. She wanted to be in the middle of it. To be responsible for taking down one of the gangs bringing drugs over. This was, after all, why she’d joined Border Patrol: to guard her country from outside harm. “Sounds good to me.”
One of the agents stood up in the bed of a truck and cupped his hands around his mouth to magnify the sound. Conversations stopped, and focus sharpened to the agent in charge. “Orders are being sent around now along with earpieces so we can communicate during the raid. Thank you to Agents Lopez and Jackson from Border Patrol, who will be taking point at the warehouse.” He gave a nod toward them. “We’ll be entering on my count. Intel says that they aren’t armed and have no idea we’re coming. I’d like to keep that element of surprise. Questions?”
A murmur rose, but there were no questions. A short guy wearing a bulletproof vest thrust earpieces and a receiver at them. “You’re in the van.”
Dez smirked as the man walked off, still handing out equipment. “He’s got the body armor on, but how much you want to bet that he won’t be entering the warehouse?”
Sherri adjusted the stiff vest she wore herself. She might be brave, but she wasn’t stupid. As much as Dez sneered, he wore one, too. Department-issue bulletproof vest that could take a few shots, depending on the ammunition. Not that it would completely protect them if things went sideways. She glanced around the parking lot and saw several agents getting into the van. “You ready for this?”
Dez gave a short nod. “I’ve been waiting since six this morning to see some action.”
“And you chose to leave the military why?”
“There’s a difference, and you well know it.” He steered her toward the van an
d let her get in first before following her inside. “Doesn’t mean I don’t miss it at times.”
The drive to the riverside warehouse took about ten minutes, and they parked the vehicles in the parking lot next door to their target. Without a word, Sherri walked to the warehouse, gun in hand, scanning the docks and surrounding areas for any gang members. Empty. She reached the door that was the point of entry for the raid and stood against the wall, waiting for the signal to enter. Dez squatted behind her and leaned in close enough that she could feel his breath on her ear. “Call me crazy, but I got a bad feeling about this.”
She turned and watched as one of the DEA agents counted down from five with his fingers. After he held up one finger, he waved Sherri and Dez to enter the warehouse. Sherri kicked at the door and shouted, “Federal agents! Get down! Get down!”
Chaos erupted in the warehouse. Tables overturned; guns were drawn. The noise level rose as more agents screamed out orders, and the drug dealers shouted back. Sherri wasn’t certain who fired their guns first, but a barrage of bullets started to fill the air in their direction. She crouched down behind a wooden pallet and looked over at Dez, who shook his head. He pointed to his chest then to the right. Then to her and the floor.
There was no way she was going to sit still while the action happened around her. She shook her head, pointed to her chest and then to the right. Dez rolled his eyes and nodded. He pointed to himself then to her, meaning he’d follow her.
Sherri crawled to the right then stopped as she saw two shoes on the other side of the table she crouched behind. She wasn’t sure if they belonged to someone on their team or to one of the drug runners, but she wasn’t going to wait to find out. She pointed them out to Dez then held up her gun. She stood and held her gun out in front of her. “Federal agent. Put your hands up!”
The guy turned to face her, shooting his gun in her direction as he did so. It felt like everything was in slow motion after that. She fired her weapon twice as she fell to the floor, knocked over by the weight of Dez. She felt the back of her head smack on the concrete floor, and she moaned.