She came toward him and perched on the log next to him. Her arm brushed his, and the contact sent a shiver up his back. “How’s your arm?”
“Better. It still aches some, but the more I use it, the better it gets.” She leaned forward and poked at the fire with a stick. Tiny sparks escaped the flames and shot upward into the dark night.
Nate reached over and captured her hand. She jumped but didn’t pull away. Instead, her slim fingers curled around his and returned his pressure. “I was proud of you,” he said softly.
Lucy jerked her head up. “How could you be proud? I fainted at the sight of a simple branding. I ran shrieking in fear at the sight of an Indian, then stumbled over my own feet and dislocated my elbow.” Her voice was low and anguished. “I’m sure the men were laughing at the boss’s poor choice of a wife. I came here to be a helpmeet, but it seems all I’ve managed to do is to be a hindrance.”
“That’s not true, Lucy. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Truly?” She turned to face him, and the movement brought her face only inches from his own. Her breath touched his face, and he caught a glimpse of perfect white teeth in the moonlight. Her breath was sweet and enticing. Something stirred in his heart. Some new emotion had sprung to life.
He couldn’t help himself. His fingers traveled up her arm to her mane of hair, and he pulled her into his arms. Nate heard her soft gasp, and it only served to inflame the passion he felt for her. She fit into his arms as though she were made for him.
Her face turned up to his, and he pressed his lips against hers. At first Lucy was stiff, then she wound her arms around his neck and returned his kiss. His heart hammered against his ribs as he tasted the sweetness of a real kiss from her for the first time. The wonder of holding his wife in his arms this way drove all thought from his head.
He wanted to go on kissing her, but she pulled away a bit. “Did I hurt you?” he muttered in a hoarse whisper.
Keeping her face turned away, she shook her head. Was she crying? Nate touched Lucy’s chin and turned her to face him. Her face was wet with tears, and his throat tightened. “What is it, Lucy?”
“Now you kiss me. Now when I’ve failed so miserably. I don’t want your pity, Nate. I want your love and your respect. You expected certain things from a wife, and I don’t think I can ever meet those expectations.”
“I don’t have any expectations. I was wrong to lash out at you when you first came. Wrong and pigheaded.”
Lucy knuckled away her tears. “You and Pa are building an empire here. An empire takes an empress, someone who can stand at your side and fight whatever comes without fear. Today has shown me how inadequate I really am.”
“This doesn’t sound like the Lucy I know. Where’s that spunky little woman who faced down the wolf? Where’s that gal who made me toe the line at mealtimes? I need you, Lucy. I just didn’t realize it before.” He twined a long curl around his finger.
“I wish that were true. You’re so self-sufficient, Nate, a self-made man. I have nothing to bring you that you don’t already have.” Her chest heaved. “I want to be a blessing, but I don’t know how.”
He tried to pull her close again, but she stood and evaded his grasp. “You’re the only blessing I need.”
She relaxed against him and he tucked her into the bedroll. “Get some sleep, honey.”
He wandered through the maze of bedrolls and campfires until he reached the outskirts of the camp. What had gotten into her? He didn’t expect her to brand cattle. Lucy likely needed wooing, but he just didn’t know how to do it, especially encumbered by her brother and sister. Not that he didn’t love them, but sometimes a man needed space to say those things only a wife should hear.
All he knew were cattle and horses, and they were easily handled by a cattle dog. He was out of his element here. If one of the newfangled universities offered a course on women, he would be the first to sign up. Lucy made his head spin with all her jawing and emotional turmoil. Next time she started talking like that, he’d just pull her into his arms and kiss her until she shut up. He grinned at the thought. She would likely toss a clump of mud at his head like she did to Childress.
He flopped down under a cottonwood tree. “I could use some help here, Lord. What do I do about this?” In the stillness of the night, Scripture crept into his mind. Scripture he thought he’d never need to apply to his own life.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
The words wrapped around his heart. He’d admitted he cared for her, but did he love her? Nate examined his emotions.
He loved Lucy. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
He didn’t care if she never came on another roundup or ever learned to rope a calf. He loved her fire and determination, her desire to do right, just the essence of who she was. What she did was unimportant.
A knot gripped his gut. He hadn’t done a very good job of letting Lucy know that. No wonder she was all wrapped up in performance and ability. He had to tell her how he felt and make it right.
But as quickly as the notion struck, he knew that was wrong. Words wouldn’t convince Lucy. Actions were the only thing she would understand now. His actions had told her she was unimportant next to the ranch. Only actions would convince her she was the most important thing in his life. She would have to see the difference in him. Then he would tell her he loved her. Not before.
LUCY’S ARM STILL ached, but it was a good sort of hurt. The kind she felt when she probed a wound and brought out a splinter. The way she felt when her stomach burned with hunger but Jed and Eileen got up from the table with full bellies. Her arm would heal, thanks to Nate.
From here she could see Margaret’s strong body, could hear her robust laughter. Margaret would have bred strong sons for Nate. She could have stood at his side, shoulder to shoulder, and carved an empire out of this desolate place. Tears pricked Lucy’s eyes, but she pushed them away. She would prove her worth somehow.
She kicked open her bedroll and sat down to take off her boots. Crawling under the blanket, she groaned at the hardness of the ground. She’d gotten spoiled in that soft bed Nate had made for her.
As if the thought had brought him out of the fog, Nate came through the smoke of the fire with an intent smile on his face. He said nothing, simply picked up his bedroll from the other side of Jed and laid it down beside her. He shifted it closer to her, then took off his boots and crawled under the blanket.
His arm snaked out from the covers and his fingers grasped hers. She waited for him to speak, to explain his intentions, but moments later she heard the even sound of his breathing. But even in his sleep, his hand still gripped hers.
Lucy rolled over on her side and watched his face in the moonlight. She’d longed to watch him sleep for months. Now that she had the chance, dozens of people were around. Lucy was so bewildered, she found it hard to fall asleep, in spite of her fatigue. But Nate’s presence beside her eased the fear she’d had of sleeping on the ground. No tarantula would dare bother her with his strong arms next to her.
Jed and Nate were already gone by the time she awakened. Lucy sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. The morning air was heavy with the promise of heat and humidity. A single spray of some kind of yellow wildflower lay on top of her bedroll.
“Nate,” she murmured. She picked up the flower. What had gotten into him? He was acting almost romantic, which was totally out of character for him. She lifted the flower to her nose and breathed deeply of its fragrance. Sighing, she laid it aside and scrambled to her feet. There was a lot to do today.
She rolled up her bedroll and pulled on her boots, after shaking them first to make sure no creepy crawlies had found their way inside. She tugged her comb through her hair, then wadded her long tresses up on top of her head. Good thing she didn’t have a mirror because the sight of her bedraggled state would surely be depressing.
When she made her way to the chuck wagon, m
ost of the men were already out with the herd. She took a tin plate and scooped up a bit of the congealed gravy and hard biscuits. Lucy shook her head. If she’d awakened in time, she would have made some flapjacks. If the illustrious Margaret had made this breakfast, she wasn’t as perfect as Nate thought. She winced at her own unattractive thoughts.
The mess had been left dirty, so she scraped the remains onto a plate for Bridget and heated water to wash up. The bawling of the calves made her wince, and she thought about going back to the cabin. But Lucy couldn’t force herself to go. Quitting was against her nature. Maybe today would be better. Nate’s gift of the flower had given her fresh hope somehow.
She had just finished the dishes when Margaret came toward her. Striding like a man, her hair carelessly braided and tossed over one shoulder, she was the picture of health and vitality. Her white teeth flashed in her tanned face, and Lucy had to smile back.
“I need a break,” Margaret said. “My throat is as dry as gypsum. Any water handy?”
“Of course.” Lucy grabbed a tin cup and scooped some water into it.
Margaret drank thirstily and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Lucy watched in fascination. She’d never met a woman who was so vital and alive. Margaret made no pretense of femininity, but she was mesmerizing in spite of it.
Margaret plopped onto the ground at Lucy’s feet. “You don’t like me, do you, Lucy?”
Lucy blinked. “I—I don’t really know you, Margaret. I’m sure you’re a very nice person.”
Margaret laughed. “Nice? That’s the first time anyone ever accused me of that. Overbearing, outspoken, those are terms I’m more familiar with.”
Lucy opened her mouth, then closed it again. What could she say to that? It was all true, after all.
Margaret seemed amused at her obvious discomfiture. “Don’t worry. You won’t hurt my feelings. Your problem with me is that you think I’m after your husband. You wouldn’t be far wrong. But I know when I’m licked. He’s in love with his pretty, genteel wife, and someone like me will never tempt him away.”
In love with her? For a moment Lucy’s heart soared, then thumped back to the ground. Not likely. He felt something for her, she would allow that. But love? He loved his ranch, not her.
Margaret leaned forward. “We’re going to be neighbors, and we need to clear the air between us. Yes, I was hurt when you came waltzing in the store on the arm of the man I had claimed as my own. Not that Nate realized he was claimed, mind you, but I’d staked him out just the same. But I’m now sure it’s for the best. Nate and me are too hardheaded to rub along very well together. We would have always been clashing heads.” She grinned. “Not that you haven’t had your share of clashes.”
“I—I do have a temper myself.” Heat scorched Lucy’s cheeks. “You would make him a much better wife. Unfortunately, it’s too late.”
Margaret’s eyes narrowed. “He loves you, Lucy. If you think there’s anything between us, I’m telling you there’s not.”
She wished Margaret spoke the truth. “You’re so strong. I wish I could be like you.”
Margaret shook her finger in Lucy’s face. “Sounds to me like you’re expecting more of yourself than Nate expects from you. You need a dose of reality. Loving one another through arguments and sickness, through lean times and child rearing, that’s reality. Let off trying to control all of it and just accept what comes.” Margaret rose to her feet and swept her up in a bear hug. “We’ll be friends one of these days, Lucy. Give us both some time to lick our wounds. I like you. You’ve got spunk. It’s about time you showed it.”
Lucy’s nose was pressed against Margaret’s shirt. The woman could be Lucy’s friend if she could let down her defenses. Lucy hugged her back. “Thank you, Margaret.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
Lucy stirred the beans and then began to make cornbread for supper. The roundup was almost over, and she would be glad to get out of the dust and noise. And the smell! She wrinkled her nose. Margaret’s words echoed in her mind. Did she expect too much of herself? And she had to admit she took pride in doing more and giving more than other people.
Tears welled in her eyes, but she pressed her lips together and beat the cornbread batter as if it were the cause of all her turmoil. Tears never solved anything, but lately it seemed she was on the verge of them all the time.
While the cornbread was baking, she walked over to watch the last of the roundup. A thrill of joy shot through her as she watched Nate astride his black gelding. He’d only bought the horse last week—a magnificent animal. Man and horse were well matched. Nate’s powerful arms controlled the huge creature as an ordinary man would a pony, while his muscular thighs dared the horse to try to throw him.
Nate’s sandy hair was already beginning to lighten from the spring sunshine. He was a man who would turn heads no matter where he lived or what he did. Margaret rode next to him. She had that same vitality and vigor Nate possessed. But Margaret said she didn’t want Nate. How could any woman say that and mean it? Nate had but to crook his finger, and any woman would want him. Lucy’s heart clenched. She would earn his love somehow.
He wheeled around on his horse and saw her. A tender smile accompanied the hand he lifted in greeting. Nate cantered over and looked down at her from his saddle. “You’ve been in hiding all day. You getting used to the noise and commotion?”
She smiled. “I just thought I’d look to see how Jed was doing.” And she had a need to see her husband, but she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t get enough of looking at him lately. What would he think of that if he knew?
Nate pointed out a group of riders across the field from them. “Rusty is teaching him to rope. He’s picking it up pretty well, though on his first few attempts he managed to rope the fence post instead of the calf.”
“You’ve done so much for him. He actually likes work, and he’s got a confidence I’ve never seen him show before. Thank you, Nate.”
The tenderness in his gaze sucked the breath from her lungs. The expressions on his face and the solicitousness of his manner for the past two days had Lucy pondering. Was he really not disappointed in the bargain anymore? She was afraid to hope for that.
“Jed’s a good boy. He’ll be an asset on the cattle drive next week.” He looked over her head. “Here comes Pa with Eileen.”
Lucy turned and waved.
“I’ve missed her. She keeps things lively.”
Lucy laughed. “I think things have been plenty lively around here.”
“At least Zeke didn’t show up.”
Lucy gasped. “Um, just where did you turn that spider loose?”
Nate grinned. “Far from here. But spiders can travel a far piece. Want to take a walk in the moonlight tonight and look for him? He might come if I call.”
In spite of herself, Lucy felt the corners of her mouth turn up. “No thanks. I might have to ask you to stomp on him.”
“I’d do it for you.”
His gray eyes seemed to reach into her soul with an emotion she hadn’t seen there before. What was going on in his head? A lump formed in Lucy’s throat. “You—you would?”
His gaze caressed her face. “I reckon I’d do most anything for you, Lucy.”
How did she answer that? Before she could make a fool of herself, Eileen and Henry reached them.
“This little girl is pert near pining herself to death for you,” Henry said in a booming voice. “I tried reading her a story, and Percy even offered to let her help bake cookies, which was a big sacrifice since he never lets anyone in his kitchen.” He caught Lucy’s gaze. “Except for you, Lucy.”
Eileen threw herself at Lucy’s legs and began to clamber up them like she would a tree. “Lucy, we baked-ed cookies with raisins. Percy let me put the raisins in.”
Lucy hugged her, relishing the feel of her small body. “You’re getting to be a big girl, sweetie. Did you thank Percy?”
Eileen nodded and her blond ponytail whipped in the breeze. She
gazed up at Nate’s horse. “Can I pet him?”
“How about a ride on Morgan?” Nate said. “Want to come too, Lucy?”
She glanced back at the chuck wagon. “I really should check on the cornbread.” But the thought of being next to her husband for just a few minutes was almost too enticing to resist.
“I’ll watch it,” Henry said. “You go ahead with Nate.”
The pleased expression he wore brought a smile to Lucy’s lips.
Nate held out a hand. “Pa, you hold Eileen until I get Lucy up here, then she can put Eileen in front of her.”
Eileen held out her arms to Henry. “Grandpa, you want to come too?”
Henry lifted her into his arms. “No thanks, pumpkin. That horse of Nate’s won’t let just anyone ride him. You and your sister are special.”
Eileen preened. “We’re special, Lucy.”
Nate slid back in the saddle, then gripped Lucy’s hand and lifted her up in front of him. Henry handed Eileen up to her, while Nate reached around Lucy’s waist and took the reins. He smelled of horse and leather with a hint of spice from his hair tonic. His breath ruffled her hair, and without thinking Lucy leaned back against his chest.
The shock of contact slicked her palms with perspiration, and she swallowed. Touching him just made her realize all she was missing. After taking a deep breath, she started to ease forward, but his left arm came around her waist and pulled her closer. She could feel the hard muscles of his chest against her back, and he rested his chin on her head.
“Faster, Nate!” Eileen kicked her little legs and giggled.
Nate obliged by digging his heels into Morgan’s ribs. The horse broke into a canter. Eileen loosened her grip on Lucy’s arm and clapped. They rode with the scent of sage and creosote blowing in their faces.
Finally Eileen tugged on Lucy’s arm. “I have to go potty,” she said in a loud whisper.
Lucy nodded and told Nate. He pulled on the reins and stopped beside a rocky outcropping on the far side of the men. He slid to the ground and reached up to lift Eileen down.