“Then when I get back, I’d like us to share this room.” His gaze never left hers as he took a step nearer.
Lucy’s mouth went dry, and she was afraid to breathe. “I-It’s not the blue moon yet.”
“This will help you get used to the idea.” He was right in front of her now. He took a ringlet and twisted it around his finger. “I reckon it’s time we tried to make this marriage work.”
Lucy wanted to ask him how he really felt about her, but the words stuck in her throat. Maybe he could grow to love her through the intimacy of marriage. He’d been different lately. Maybe he was already beginning to love her.
“But not until the blue moon,” she whispered. “You have to be back by then. You will, won’t you?”
“You and your planning.” He grinned. “I’ll do my best. I love Jed and Eileen, but I want our own kids too. I reckon that can’t happen the ways things are right now.” His thumb traced her jawline.
“I—I want children too.” She barely managed to get the words out past the lump in her throat.
His fingers touched her hair again. “Girls with this pretty hair and your blue eyes.”
“Strong sons,” Lucy whispered. “With broad shoulders and gray eyes.”
Those gray eyes crinkled in a smile, and his rough fingers caressed her cheek. “We’ll take what God gives us.”
His face came closer, and Lucy closed her eyes and leaned against his chest. She was almost too weak to stand.
The front door banged, and Jed’s voice rang out. “Hey, Lucy, Nate, where is everybody?” His shout woke Eileen, and she began to cry.
Nate sighed and stepped back. “I can’t seem to woo my wife no matter how hard I try,” he muttered. “Will you stay here in my bed, Lucy?”
She opened her eyes. Unable to speak, she nodded, then went to the ladder and climbed down to see to Eileen.
“CROWN ME.” NATE pushed his black checker toward Jed with an air of triumph. From the corner of his eye he could see Lucy moving about the stove. She was stronger than he’d expected and he thought she was mostly recovered from her snakebite. All evening the tension between them had grown. Should he ask her to share his room tonight, before he left for such a long trip? She’d probably bring up the blue moon again.
He mentally shook his head. She wasn’t ready. It wouldn’t be fair to start a new life together, then leave her. Words of love seemed trapped behind his lips. In the loft he’d wanted to tell her she was his sun and moon, the one thing he would give all his possessions for. But such romantic words would have seemed strange pouring from the lips of a cowboy like him. He was no poet. But why couldn’t he manage the simple words “I love you”?
Nate had never thought of himself as a coward. But when it came to matters of the heart, he was at a loss. He dragged his concentration back to the game before Jed could notice his preoccupation.
“Supper’s ready,” Lucy said. Eileen put her doll into the little bed Nate had made for her.
Nate stood. “Come with me, Eileen. I’ll pump the water for us to wash up.” He took the little girl’s hand and they went to the back door. As Nate pumped the handle and water gushed over Eileen’s then Jed’s hands, he was struck with how dear this little family had become to him. It wasn’t just Lucy. God had surely blessed him.
If he hadn’t been so pigheaded at first, would things be different now? Maybe Lucy would not feel this fierce desire to prove she was as good as Margaret. He could see that was what drove her. And it was his fault. He’d gotten them off to a wrong start by being so contemptuous of her size that first day. What an idiot. It had been cruel too.
He sluiced water over his hands and dried them on the towel that hung over the pump. As he went back inside with the children, he decided to just table all thought of his marriage until he got back. God would help him find his way through this morass of doubt.
“Did you find a cook?” Lucy asked him over dinner.
He nodded. “Just in the nick of time, Margaret agreed to go. There was no one else. We’ll be well fed.”
“That’s good,” she said, but her eyes were shadowed.
He wanted to reassure her that he felt nothing but friendship for Margaret, but she changed the subject.
After supper they had their evening devotions together as usual, and then he climbed the ladder to bed. Tomorrow he would leave for Kansas. Normally he was full of excitement the night before a cattle drive. Now he hated to leave Lucy and Eileen behind. It would be a long three weeks away from her. Maybe he should have allowed her to go, but she was so small and slight. He wanted to protect her. Surely that was a normal response for a husband. He punched the pillow into shape and closed his eyes. He couldn’t worry about it now. It was too late to change anything.
The next morning he was awake before the rooster crowed. Noiselessly he dressed and slipped down the ladder. He touched Jed’s shoulder, but the lad was already awake. He sprang out of bed, a smile on his eager face.
Nate looked at Lucy, still sleeping peacefully, one arm flung under her head. He knelt at the side of the bed and touched her forehead with his lips. Her eyes flew open, and he stared into the depths of her blue eyes. Every time he looked at the sky this summer, he would think of her. It would be hard to be away so long.
“I’m leaving now.”
Pushing her heavy hair from her face, she sat up. “I’ll fix you some breakfast.”
“Don’t bother. Jed and I will grab some biscuits. I’m not really hungry, and I don’t think Jed could eat a mouthful. He’s too excited.” He leaned over and pressed his lips against hers, savoring their softness. Her arms went around his neck, and she clung to him.
“Pray for me. I’ll be praying for you and Eileen.”
A shadow darkened her eyes, and she nodded and averted her gaze.
He frowned. “Is something wrong?”
“No, no, of course not.” She scrambled out of bed in a flurry of voluminous nightgown. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
At the door he took her in his arms properly and buried his face in her sweet-smelling hair. “I reckon this will be the longest cattle drive in my life with a pretty wife waiting for me at home. I’ll be back as quick as I can.”
She nodded, and he gave her a lingering kiss before he stepped through the door. “Come on, Jed, we’ll be late.” With a final wave, he and Jed went to the barn and saddled their horses.
TWENTY-NINE
The silence was deafening after Jed and Nate were gone. Lucy had tossed and turned all night after learning Nate had asked Margaret to go instead of her. She read Eileen a story, then got her dressed. She felt surprisingly well—all traces of her weakness had finally left her.
She was a little chilly and went to her trunk for her shawl. As she rummaged through it, she noticed the bottom had come loose a bit. She started to press it back into place, but it wouldn’t seat. Maybe there was an edge loose. She tugged it up a bit and peered under the bottom. There was a paper there. Stiff and yellowed. She pried on the bottom enough to be able to slip the paper out without tearing it.
She unfolded the document and stared at the faded ink. It was a deed of some kind. She studied it. It was a land deed made out in her mother’s name. For ten thousand acres of land in the Red River Valley. She didn’t know much about plats and surveyor’s notations, but could this deed be to the land Henry had mentioned to her? And if it was, what did that mean? She had to find out before she told Nate about it.
She took the buggy to town and went to the county clerk’s office. When she presented the deed, the clerk checked it against the records and told her it was legitimate. The news took her breath away. She had to tell Nate, but he would just send her home again once the news was delivered. Unless he couldn’t. What if they were too far from home by the time he realized she was there? She could ride at the back of the herd and escape detection for a few days.
Lucy flew into a flurry of activity. She stuffed extra clothing for her and Eileen in a bag and
tried to decide what to wear. A dress was impractical. She found a pair of Jed’s dungarees he’d left behind because they were threadbare. They would have to do.
“Where are we going, Lucy?” the little girl complained.
“A great adventure! We’re going with Jed and Nate.”
Eileen thrust out her bottom lip. “We’ll go tomorrow. And I don’t like the cattle. They smell.”
“If we don’t go now, we won’t see Jed and Nate for a long, long time. Would you rather stay with Grandpa Henry?” Lucy had been toying with the idea of leaving her anyway. It would be a hard trip for a little girl. And it would be difficult to hide Eileen from Nate’s eagle eyes.
Eileen considered it, then nodded. “I love Grandpa.”
Maybe she would be all right. Lucy had to make an instant decision. “All right. I’ll run you over there.”
She took Eileen’s hand in one hand and snatched the bag with the other. She would have to hurry. She paused in the yard. The coins. Did she dare leave them unprotected for three weeks? The place would be empty and Rolf could waltz right in here and look for them. She smiled. He’d never look in the pickle barrel. They were safe.
She saddled up Wanda, then hefted Eileen to the saddle, strapped on her bedroll and bag, then clambered up behind her. She’d never get used to riding this way. No matter how much she did it, she felt awkward and strange.
Cantering across the track, she headed for the main house. Minutes later, she pulled Wanda to a halt and slid down. Practically running, she hurried into the house. Henry was reading in the parlor.
His face brightened when he saw her, then his gaze took in her strange apparel. A smile tugged at his lips. “You’re going with Nate, aren’t you? I knew you had spunk. You got any more clothes than that?”
“Only a couple of dresses.”
“I got a trunk of Nate’s old clothes in the attic from when he was a boy. Some of them will fit you.” He rose and took Eileen from her. “I reckon I’m babysitting for young Eileen here. You and me will have fun, chickadee.” He tossed her in the air, and Eileen squealed.
“I really don’t have time to look for more clothes,” Lucy said.
“You got hours yet. The end of the herd won’t pull out of here until close to noon by the time they all get rounded up and moving.” He carried Eileen to the back stairway and opened the door. “It’s that trunk at the top of the stairs. There’s clothes going back to when Nate was a baby.”
Rather than argue any more, Lucy raced up the stairs. She threw back the lid of the trunk and rummaged through it. She would have to come back when there was time. The trunk was full of mementos of Nate’s childhood. Rifling through small dungarees that would fit Eileen and tiny boots that she could imagine on her own child someday, she found three pair of dungarees she thought would fit her and four shirts.
She hurried back down the stairs, then went out to her horse and pulled down the bag. Pulling out Eileen’s belongings, she stuffed the things she’d found for herself into it and carried Eileen’s clothing inside.
“I have to go,” Lucy told Henry. She knelt beside Eileen and hugged her. “You be good for Grandpa.”
“Grandpa says I’se always good.” Eileen wrapped her arms around Lucy’s neck. “Bye, Lucy. Don’t cry. I’ll take care of Grandpa.”
Henry took Eileen from her and gave Lucy a slight shove. “And I’ll take care of our little girl. Now run along before all this blubbering is useless and Nate is gone without you.”
After one final look, Lucy ran for her horse. Her heart pounded against her ribs, and she prayed to escape discovery for a few days. She had to make this work.
THE LOWING OF the longhorn cattle and the stench they left in their wake made Lucy begin to question her decision almost as soon as she arrived. The air was thick with red dust, and it was hard to breathe. Lucy coughed and pulled a red bandanna up to cover her mouth. Her hair was tucked up under a hat.
“Hey, cowboy, over here!” A weathered man Lucy didn’t recognize waved to her.
He must not realize she was a woman. She hid a grin as she rode over to join him.
“You’re late, tenderfoot. You’ll have to ride in the rear. You’ll soon go runnin’ home to mama.” His face cracked in a grin, and the smile made him resemble someone, but Lucy couldn’t decide who it was. “Round up them strays over there and watch to make sure they don’t get away. My name’s Bo, and you’ll be answering to me this trip.” Digging his knees into his horse’s ribs, he wheeled and rode away.
Well, there was no time like the present to learn this cowboy business. Lucy set her chin and rode toward the stray cattle. They resisted her efforts to make them go the right way, and by the time she got them turned the right direction, she was wilting in the dust and heat. The sun beat down in a merciless glare, and she longed for some shade and a drink of cold water. She’d remembered a canteen, but the water was warm and brackish.
She wiped her mouth and pulled her bandanna up again and got back to work. At times she felt as though she was barely clinging to the pommel as she grimly fought to do what was expected of a cowboy. Once she thought she saw Jed in the distance, but she pulled her hat down lower over her face and went the other direction. She couldn’t risk even Jed’s discovery.
It still amazed her that the cowboys hadn’t realized who she was. Divine providence perhaps?
When night fell, she was so stiff she almost fell from the saddle. Now she knew why cowboys walked bowlegged, she told herself with a grim smile. Hunkering down around the fire, she got her plate of beans and bread and retreated to the shadows again.
She wolfed down her food, then unrolled her bedroll and crawled under the blanket. She should wash up, but she couldn’t find the energy. Lucy fell asleep to the sound of the men laughing and singing camp songs.
Morning came way too early. “Breakfast, tenderfoot.”
A hard boot in the ribs roused Lucy from sleep. She groaned and tried to sit up, but every muscle in her body cried out in pain.
Bo prodded her with his boot again. “Get up, or you can just head on back where you came from. We don’t need no lazy boys on this trip. You’re awful puny. I’m surprised your mama let you out to come with us. You’re no bigger than a grasshopper. What’s your name?”
Her name. She tried to pitch her voice low. “What should I do first, sir?” she asked, hoping he wouldn’t ask her name again.
“Sir. I like that. You are learning. For now, just get your lazy hide out of bed and get your breakfast. We pull out in half an hour.” He walked away without waiting for an answer.
If she could just escape detection for one more day, she should be safe. Nate wouldn’t waste that much time to send her back. She forced herself to her feet and went to find breakfast.
The second day was a repeat of the first, with Lucy growing more confident on the back of the mare. She watched the others and learned to cut a steer out of the herd and how to drive strays back to the main group. Feeling rather smug, she stopped to take a swig of water and noticed a man driving two steers behind a rock. Thinking they would exit the other side of the rock, she watched, but they didn’t emerge.
Alarmed, she rode over to see if something was wrong. A man was tethering the cattle together behind the rock. It was Childress, the man who’d attacked her. In a flash Lucy understood what was happening. He was stealing Nate’s cattle. Anger gripped her, and she started to pull her rifle from its sling on her saddle, but then her hand stilled. What rustler would be afraid of a boy by himself, rifle or not? She wheeled her horse around.
But her movement had caught the rustler’s attention and he turned his gun her direction.
A bullet whizzed over her head, and she bent low over Wanda’s neck. Another bullet whined by close to her cheek, and then she was out of range. Shaking, she saw Bo on the other side of the herd and made her way to him.
“A rustler!” she gasped.
Bo jerked his head up. His eyes narrowed as he stared at her. ?
??Where?”
“Behind that rock.” She pointed. “It’s Childress. He has two cattle tied up. He shot at me.”
His lips thin with rage, Bo rode off to where she pointed. Before he got there, a man on a horse tore out from behind the rock. He lashed his horse ferociously as he tried to get away. Bo shot over his head, and the man hunched down.
Another cowboy rode to intercept the rustler, then another. Within minutes, he threw down his gun and surrendered. Bo drove the rustler on, pausing long enough to give her an approving nod. Lucy swelled with pride. She’d done well today. Wait until Nate heard about it. Margaret herself couldn’t have done better.
It was nearly dark when Bo rode back. He made his way to her side. “The boss wants to see you.”
Lucy barely contained her gasp. “What for? It’s bedtime.”
“When the boss calls, there ain’t no bedtime, kid. You head on over there now.” Bo’s voice brooked no argument.
“I’ll go in the morning.”
Bo grabbed Lucy by the collar and raised her to her feet. “You’ll go now. You got a lot to learn and this is the main lesson. When the boss says jump, you ask how high.” He released her, and she fell to the ground.
She rose, dusting herself off. “Yes, sir.” There was no help for it. She lifted her chin in the air. Nate wouldn’t send her back, not now. Her heart beat loudly in her ears as she saddled her horse and rode to the front of the herd. Maybe she had proved herself today. That was all she could hope for.
She found Nate outside the chuck wagon with Margaret and six men circling him. Pulling her hat over her brow, Lucy dismounted and walked toward them. Staying in the shadows, she listened for a moment. They seemed to be reading the Bible. Nate was having a Bible study?
“You mean no matter how good I am, God won’t let me into heaven?” Margaret’s voice was indignant. “I’ve proven my worth to anyone who dared question it, Nate Stanton!”
Several of the men nodded and frowned as if they didn’t understand either.