Page 54 of Diamond Star


  "I can do that." He hesitated. "I won't mislead you. I'm going to spend a lot of time with the boys, both in trips home and through the meshes. They'll be a big part of our lives."

  "I've no problem with that." She laughed unevenly. "It's the marriage thing that scares me."

  He stroked her hair. "I'll wait. Until you're ready."

  She gave him her sultriest smile. "Hey, babe. I'm worth the wait."

  Del laughed and kissed her. "That you are."

  It had only been a day since Del's virtual conference with Kelric, but it felt as if far more time had passed. Today, when he "walked into" the virtual conference room, his pulse surged. He stood by the table, for all appearances calm and composed. Of course he wasn't "standing" anywhere. Sheathed from head to toe in his virt suit and lying on his back at a console, he was sweating like an asteroid jockey running out of oxygen.

  The air rippled across the table—and a man appeared.

  He was tall and broad-shouldered, perfect in form and feature, his hair as black as interstellar space, his eyes like red crystals.

  Like carnelians.

  Del bowed deeply and spoke in Highton. "My honor at your presence, Your Highness." His instinct was to say Your Majesty, but the Traders used Highness for their emperor.

  Jaibriol Qox regarded him with a cold red stare. His voice was as chillingly perfect as the rest of him. "So. You are the one who claims to be my worst nightmare."

  The blood drained from Del's face. It was hard to believe the man he faced was only eighteen; he looked and sounded much older. But sitting on the Carnelian Throne would age anyone. Jaibriol Qox, known to most people as Jaibriol the Third, could just as easily have called himself Del's worst nightmare.

  Del wouldn't take back the words, but neither did he want to inflame the volatile situation he had created. So he said only, "President Loughten said you wanted to talk to me."

  "She has told me of your request that I free a provider in return for your retracting your song."

  Del gritted his teeth. It had been a condition, not a request, and he had never offered to retract anything, he agreed only not to resist efforts to suppress the song. But nothing of his anger showed; Claude was editing out all his responses except respect.

  "The provider is Staver Aunchild's wife," Del said.

  "Why do you care?" Qox said. "And why would a Ruby prince risk his freedom for this man?"

  Del felt as if he were in a field of orbiting mines. One misfired word and he could destroy the Star Road. "He's my friend."

  The emperor raised his eyebrow, nothing more, but that one gesture conveyed more disbelief than any words. "Indeed."

  "Will you let her come home?" Del asked.

  "I find myself unconvinced," Qox said, "that I should do anything for the man who accused me of mass genocide."

  Del struggled to hold back his anger. He could bring up Tams Station or any other world. But Qox knew what his predecessors had done. This emperor hadn't been on the throne long enough to commit atrocities, but he carried the blood of his forefathers.

  Del spoke quietly. "We each have our view of the universe, Your Highness. You and I won't change that here."

  "Yet you would start a war," Qox said, "by performing this song during a politically charged event, a situation guaranteed to create a flood of propaganda."

  Propaganda? He wanted to ask Qox how he would like to have his nerves fried by torture dust or his back shredded under a whip. The words strained to explode out of him. Somehow, he said only, "I sang what I knew."

  "So you claim."

  Del waited, sweating. Qox watched him with those unfathomable red eyes. Finally the emperor said, "Neither your leaders nor the Allieds wish another war. They have made it clear that they neither sanctioned nor encouraged your outburst."

  Del refrained from saying the obvious. The Traders didn't want another war, either. The last one had drained them as much as it had worn out Del's people. "It's true, Your Highness. The decision was mine and mine alone. Those who knew the song strongly discouraged me from ever performing it."

  Qox just looked at him. Here in the virtual universe, it was impossible to tell what he thought of Del's response. He gave no sign that it affected him at all.

  "Very well," Qox finally said. "This time I will show mercy. In my benevolence, Prince Del-Kurj, I will overlook your paltry attempts to incite wrath against my people. If you fulfill the terms of your request, I will see that Staver Aunchild's wife returns to him."

  Del hadn't realized how much he feared the consequences of what he'd done until Qox spoke that reprieve. As much as he hated feeling grateful to the man who embodied the worst of Aristo tyranny, he couldn't help the relief that poured over him.

  He noticed, too, what Qox had said: fulfill the terms of your request. The emperor could have asked for a full retraction. He left it vague as to what Del agreed to do.

  "Thank you, Your Highness," Del said. "You are generous." It was true, given how much worse Qox could have responded. Given that Qox also represented the most monstrous empire ever known to humanity, the "generous" part came hard to Del.

  Qox regarded him steadily. "If you ever sing such a song again, I will consider it an act of war and act accordingly."

  Del nodded stiffly. "I understand."

  "Be careful, Prince Del-Kurj," the emperor said. "Don't run beyond your ability to catch yourself." With that, he disappeared with an abruptness that left no doubt as to his low opinion of the man he had come to see.

  Del let out a breath and sagged against the table. It was over. At least for today, none of them would go to war.

  Del stood on the balcony of his room and looked over the river, which caught sparks of light from the setting sun. He thought of Jaibriol Qox's last words: Don't run beyond your ability to catch yourself. Ironically, it reminded him of what his sister Soz had often said when they were children: Don't run so fast, you can't catch up with yourself. That was decades before the Traders had blown up her ship, killing her—and Qox's father. Del wondered what the emperor thought, knowing his own people had murdered his father rather than let the Skolians capture him.

  "I ran home," Del said. He had almost outrun his life and family, but somehow he had found both before it was too late. Earth would be his adopted home for a while. It would never again be like that first year, when he had been no one except Del Arden, a struggling artist. That had been one of the hardest—and most satisfying—times of his life.

  Del had found parts of himself here he had never expected. In signing his name, he had felt as if he were giving away pieces of his soul, but instead he had become more complete than he had been in years, perhaps ever.

  He watched the light of the setting sun and sang softly to the world and star that had given birth to the human race:

  Brighter than the crystal caves

  Sunlight glancing on the waves

  Sol's child, timeless and whole

  Your gift was to heal my soul

  Lyrics

  Diamond Star

  Lyrics by Catherine Asaro

  Angel, be my diamond star

  Before my darkness goes too far

  Splinter through my endless night

  Lightening my darkling sight

  You're, you're, you're, you're

  A diamond, a diamond, a diamond star

  Brighter than the crystal caves

  Sunlight glancing on the waves

  Swirling dance upon my heart

  Longing while we're held apart

  You're, you're, you're, you're

  A diamond, a diamond, a diamond star

  Take it slow, a daring chance

  Swaying in a timeless dance

  Shimmering radiance above

  Softening this lost man's love

  You're, you're, you're, you're

  A diamond, a diamond, a diamond star

  '

  In Paradisum

  gregorian chant

  In Paradisum deducant
te Angeli;

  in tuo adventu sucipiant te Martyres,

  et perducant te in civitatem Jerusalem

  No Answers

  Lyrics by Catherine Asaro

  No answers live in here alone

  No answers on this spectral throne

  Nothing in this vault of fears

  This sterling vault, chamber of tears

  Tell me now before I fall

  Release me from this velvet pall

  Tell me now before I fall

  Take me now, break through my wall

  No answers will salvage time

  No answers in this tomb sublime

  This winnowing crypt intertwined

  This crypt whispering in vines

  Tell me now before I fall

  Release from this velvet pall

  Tell me now before I fall

  Take me now, break through my wall

  No answers could bring me life

  Yet when I opened my eyes

  Beyond the sleeping crystal dome

  Beyond it all, I had come home

  Tell me now before I fall

  Release from this velvet pall

  Tell me now before I fall

  Take me now, break through my wall

  Oh, oh I'm falling down

  Oh, now

  Emeralds

  Lyrics by Catherine Asaro

  Green as the bitter nail

  They drove into my name

  I won't try to fail

  Just to satisfy their game

  Don't listen to their lies

  I'll never turn my back on you

  Never wait 'til someone dies

  To promise my heart is true

  Emerald drops, emerald tears

  It's you they see

  In their green-shaded mirrors

  Emerald drops, emerald tears

  The darkness feeds

  On their green-bladed fears

  Night veils the secret hollow

  In the silvered lagoon

  Body rising from the water

  Under silent moons

  They waited in whispering reeds

  Green within, predators without

  But my brother intervened

  He answered my crying shout

  Emerald drops, emerald tears

  It's you that they see

  In their green-shaded mirrors

  Emerald drops, emerald tears

  The darkness feeds

  On their green-bladed fears

  I didn't desert you

  Despite what they crowed

  You still believed I was true

  They learned what our love knows

  Emerald drops, emerald tears

  It's you that they see

  In their green-shaded mirrors

  Emerald drops, emerald tears

  The darkness feeds

  On their green-bladed fears

  Emerald drops, emerald tears

  It's you that they see

  In their green-shaded mirrors

  Emerald drops, emerald tears

  The darkness feeds

  On their green-bladed fears

  Sapphire Clouds

  Lyrics by Catherine Asaro

  Running through the sphere-tipped reeds

  Suns like gold and amber beads

  Jumping over blue-winged bees

  Don't catch me, please

  Cause I'm

  Running, running, running

  Running, running, running

  Running, running, running away

  Flight of bubbles everywhere

  Pollen dusting in my hair

  No more troubles anywhere

  Sapphire clouds above the air

  And I'm running, running, running

  Running, running, running

  Running, running, running away

  Memories fade in life's strain

  Winds of age bring falling rain

  Cornucopia of lives

  Of years and joys and grieving sighs

  Recall sapphire clouds on high

  Drifting in an endless sky

  Childhood caught and kept deep inside

  To treasure after days gone by

  And I'm running, running, running

  Running, running, running

  Running, running, running away

  Rubies

  Lyrics by Catherine Asaro

  Born to live in a Vanished Sea

  Lost to seeds of a banished need

  Caged in desperate hope for all days

  Rubies must give their souls in all ways

  Living bound by your empathy

  Shelter found in your trinity

  Love imprisoning hope for your days

  Rubies must give their souls in all ways

  Hiding deepest vulnerabilities

  Cursed by your mind's abilities

  For within you lies the hope for all days

  Rubies must give their souls in all ways

  Carnelians

  Lyrics by Catherine Asaro

  You dehumanized us; your critics, they died

  You answered defiance with massive genocide

  Hunt us as your prey, assault, and enslave

  Force us bound to stay, for pleasures that you crave

  I'm no golden hero in the blazing skies

  I'm no fair-haired genius hiding in disguise

  I'm only a singer; it's all that I can do

  But my voice is rising; I can sing the truth

  They strangled our summers, your Carnelian Sons

  You anguished the mothers in your war of suns

  With a heart that freezes, you shattered my kin

  You thought you were leaving no one who could win

  I'm no golden hero in the blazing skies

  I'm no fair-haired genius hiding in disguise

  I'm only a singer; it's all that I can do

  But I'm still alive; I'm coming after you

  I'll never kneel beneath your Highton stare

  I'm here, I'm real; I'll lay your guilt bare

  I'll never kneel beneath your Highton stare

  I'm here, I'm real; I'm your nightmare

  Carnelians Finale

  Lyrics by Catherine Asaro

  You dehumanized us

  Your critics, they all died

  You answered defiance

  With massive genocide

  You hunt us as your prey

  You assault and enslave

  You force us bound to stay

  For pleasures that you crave

  You killed my brother

  You Carnelian Sons

  You tortured my mother

  In your war of suns

  You shattered my father

  You broke my brothers

  You murdered my sister

  Expecting no others

  Well, I'm no golden hero

  In the blazing skies

  I'm no fair-haired genius

  Hiding in disguise

  I'm only a singer

  It's all I can do

  But I'm still alive

  And I'm coming after you

  I'll never kneel

  Beneath your Highton stare

  I'm here and I'm real

  I'll lay your guilt bare

  I'll never kneel

  Beneath your Highton stare

  I'm here and I'm real

  Your living nightmare

  Starlight Child

  Lyrics by Catherine Asaro

  (To my daughter, Cathy)

  When the forever snows

  Tightened their embrace

  While my dreaming thoughts froze

  You rose with newborn grace

  Nothing ever will compare

  Nothing ever will come close

  Your eyes, your skin, your shining hair

  Starlight child, my heart knows

  You're starlight, starlight child

  You're starlight, my lovely child

  When your laugh stills
the world

  Miracles arise

  Unexpected, a hidden pearl

  Heals my stricken eyes

  Nothing ever will compare

  Nothing ever will come close

  Your eyes, your skin, your shining hair

  Starlight child, my heart knows

  You're starlight, starlight child

  You're starlight, my treasured child

  The ices of sleeping death

  Melt within your candle's light

  Your trust, your smile, your lilting breath

  Starlight child, my heart flies

  You're starlight, starlight child

  You're starlight, my starlight child

  You're starlight, miraculous child

  Streaming starlight, my starlight child

  Boxcar Madness

  Lyrics by Hayim Ani

  This is the first day on your dimming stage

  This is the last smile you'll ever see

  Look at all the widespread hate

  Comes from the anger that fuels our race

  Would you love me if I was somebody else?

  Would you hate me if I choose to be myself?

  Turn away as struggles take me better learn to pray

  Gone insane from crossing out this bitter memory

  Leaving a loved one ignoring the pain

  Holding your hand out despite all shame

  Lying on cold stone rather than on dreams soft

  Jumping high fences not to get caught

  Scream to the whole world but nobody's there

  Even if they were I doubt they'd care

  Turn away as struggles come I hear you scream my name