“But alas, there is still a long way for you. It is not something that is easily learned. Most of you will never get it.”
Nigel raised his hand in the air.
“Oui, Nigel?”
“Does that mean that those who never get it will not graduate?”
The professor shook his head. It looked at little shaky to me, but that was probably only because he wasn’t used to having the head sitting there.
“Of course not. Not to worry, mon ami. You have all learned enough by now to graduate from my class. Exams will be a piece of cake for you. This is extra. It is not something I teach all of my classes, so please enjoy it.”
He brought us outside into the yard. The fall colors had driven away those of summer and made the trees brown, yellow, and orange. Soon snow would arrive and the butterflies in the Butterfly Garden would go away and not return until spring. A herd of deer grazed near the forest. Every now and then, one of them would lift his head and stare at us to see if we came closer and would pose a possible threat to the herd. I had learned in Mrs. Ohayashi’s class about how we should be careful about animals on earth, because they could always sense us even when we made ourselves invisible to the human eye. A reaction from an animal could give us away or at least make the humans worry that there was something to fear.
The professor made us all stand in line while he spoke. I turned my attention away from the deer and concentrated on what he said.
“There really isn’t much technique to it. If you want to go this fast, then it is all about speed. You need to be able to fly really, really fast.”
No surprise in that, I thought to myself. I was curious though. I wanted to try this. Maybe I would be able to go back in the past.
“But remember, it is one thing to fly faster than the speed of light by a split second, but going back in time is a totally different thing. That is not easy. It is only the Angels who normally do that.”
Nigel raised his hand again. “Has a spirit ever done it?”
“It has happened, yes. But it has been many years since we last had a student who was actually able to go significantly back in time. A student four years ago went six seconds back in time. About twenty-five years ago we had a student who was able to go back fifteen minutes. And that is still the school record.”
I was a little disappointed, I had to admit. In the first lesson the professor had put it like it was possible for all of us to go back in time. I raised my hand. “So it is, in ,fact not possible for us to go back in time, is that what you are saying?” I asked.
The professor lifted his forefinger and approached me. “Oh, but it is possible just not very realistic. There is a distinct difference between the two words.”
“I don’t see that.”
The professor cleared his throat before he spoke. “It is possible, because you have the power and the ability to fly this fast.”
“Then why doesn’t everybody do it all the time?” I asked.
“Ah, now that is the right question to ask. Why doesn’t everybody, every spirit—do this all the time? Well, remember when we had our first lesson out here in the yard and you were going to try to fly for the first time? I told you it was all in your head. Your body was suited and able to fly, but if you didn’t think you could, that it would never happen. On earth you can’t fly because of the weight of your body and gravity, but this body you have now only weighs 23 grams, so you can float in the air and even sit on the big clouds and balance on rainbows. But it is all about what is in your head. Now Nigel here didn’t think he could fly, so he stayed grounded while the rest of the class soared into the air in the first try. Now why was that? Because he didn’t think it was possible. His mother had told him to stay with both feet on the ground, his teacher in school had told him that flying as a human is impossible unless you sit in an airplane. And Nigel always listens to what people tell him, he is used to obeying his mother and his teacher, therefore it took him longer to believe in it. But now he does, and he is flying just as nicely as the rest of you. He will never be as bold as many of you, but we are all different. If he believed in it he would be able to fly as well as any of you, and maybe one day he will.”
“So it is all in our heads?” I asked. During my time here at the Academy I had heard that sentence a lot. It was like everything a little supernatural was all about what we believed we could do. So if I just believed in it enough could I go back in time?
“Yes. Everything is in the head: flying, going through walls, making yourself invisible to humans, and so on.”
“Does that mean that I can do anything if I believe it enough?”
“Yes, it actually does. We all have areas and abilities where we believe in ourselves more than others, and that is why we are good at different things, and have different talents, but in reality we can all do the same things. There are no boundaries to what you can do in the Spiritual Realm.”
It was like a huge revelation for me. I could do anything? Could I do what Mick did? Could I make food appear whenever I wanted to, just by rubbing my hands? My head reeled and I felt like the world whirled around me. I heard my own breath while everybody else became quiet for a long time. Could this be? I looked at the palms of my hands. They still looked the same, but they felt different. I started rubbing them against each other and closed my eyes. While everything was still spinning I felt my hands become hot, almost burning. I opened my eyes and saw smoke come out from them. Then I opened them. Between my hands I held a small bird. It was plain brown except for a reddish tail and a white breast. It opened its beak and started singing the most enchanting song I had ever heard: whistles, trills, and gurgles. The professor approached me with eyes wide open. The rest of the class got out of line and surrounded me while gasping.
”Luscinia megarhynchos, also known as Rufous or Nightingale,” the professor said with astonishment in his voice. The bird kept singing until it suddenly lifted off and flew toward the forest. I was in shock. Had I done this? My classmates and the professor stared at me.
“You, Meghan, have a very strong faith,” the professor said. “It has been years since I last saw a student do something like that. That was a beautiful display of what I had just told you. It is possible for anyone of you to do incredible things, but not everybody has the faith in themselves.”
I shrugged and smiled insecurely at the staring faces.
“How did you do that?” asked Nigel.
“I … I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t tell them that I was in fact trying to make some food appear like Mick did it, but somehow that had produced a bird. I had no idea why that was.
“You are very strong,” said the professor. “A lot stronger than you think. Normally doing a thing like that, like flying really fast, drains all of your energy, but you seem like it was hardly anything—like you used no effort at all. It is very interesting … very interesting.”
I felt like a science experiment the way he looked at me with his hand on his chin. I didn’t feel faint at all from doing this and I didn’t when we began practicing fast flying on a track either. I was still in shock and didn’t put my best into my efforts. Still I managed to fly faster than any of my classmates without even breaking a sweat. I didn’t feel any different, but still I sensed that something was happening to me.
I was getting stronger.
Chapter 14
The news of my little magic trick in the school yard spread faster than the news of me breaking off the marriage. And it made everybody forget about what I had done. Suddenly I was the talk of the school again, this time in a positive manner. People looked at me with an impressed smile or stared at me in awe as if I would suddenly able to transform them into a frog or something. What they didn’t know was that I had no idea what this meant or what I was capable of doing. Even though I enjoyed this new discovery, it scared the heck out of me as well. Would I be able to control it? Would it give me more trouble than blessing? I didn’t even know what to do with this, or if I could do
it again.
The only one I could talk to about it was Mick, since he had the same gift. So I slipped him a note during lunch break and asked him to meet me in the Butterfly Garden after classes. He was already there when I came. He stood with his back turned to me as I sneaked up on him from behind. I wanted to throw my arms around him, but hesitated. We weren’t in a relationship for now and I was in no place to be leading him on. I had to do this right and be careful not to hurt him again. So instead I just placed myself right next to him.
“Thanks for coming,” I said. I turned and looked around the garden, happy to see that we were alone.
Mick hushed me and pointed at something. I stretched my neck and looked in the direction he was pointing. I couldn’t see anything. “What are we looking at?” I whispered.
“Look, over there,” he said and pulled me closer while still pointing. I inhaled his scent while I was looking.
“I don’t see anything.”
“Look closer.”
I tried again and this time I saw it. Far far in the distance I could see what looked like a long horn sticking out from the forest. There was a head too. It was moving. I held my breath. It was the unicorn! I had waited to see it. Adahy, our riding instructor, had told me once that it lived in the forest, but no one I knew had ever seen it. Now we were staring right at it.
“Is that what I think it is?” I said.
Mick hushed me again. Then he whispered. “It is rubbing its horn on one of the trees. They do that to remove insects from it.”
“Wow. That’s amazing,” I whispered.
Mick looked at me and smiled. “I know. It must have known that we were meeting here. They love romance, and seek to be near it. At least so I have heard.”
I kept staring at the unicorn’s head until it turned and went back into the forest. I felt lightheaded. A lot of magic for just one day, I thought.
“So you wanted to see me?” asked Mick as we sat down on a bench.
“Yeah. I have some unanswered questions.”
“I heard about your little trick today. Was it an eagle?”
I scoffed. People and their talking. Of course a small bird would quickly become an eagle. I corrected him. “A nightingale.”
“You made a nightingale appear between your hands?” He looked at me with a grin. “And it was alive?”
I nodded.
“Making things appear is my territory,” said Mick still grinning.
“I know. That’s why I came to you.”
“I have to admit I was a little proud when I heard about it. I took it as a sign that we were meant to be with each other.”
I smiled but didn’t comment on that. I wasn’t there to talk about us. “The thing is I don’t know how I did this and I don’t know what it means.”
Mick laughed a light laughter. “I know how that feels. The first time I made something appear out of my hands it was a blueberry. But it was small and inedible.”
“I was actually trying to make some food appear, like you do, but instead I made a bird. Why do you think that is?”
Mick shrugged. “You are untrained. You haven’t figured out how to do it right yet—how to make things appear that are what you actually intended.”
“Have you always been able to do that?”
“No, in the beginning I made all kinds of things appear, even things I didn’t mean to.”
“Like what?”
“Once when I was still in school I wanted to make myself a new hat. I was tired of the old one, so I wanted something new to put on my head, but instead of a hat I made a lobster, cooked with butter and everything.” Mick laughed again.
“So it has always been food?”
“I guess so. Every time I tried to do something else, only food would appear, so I figured that was my gift. Salathiel heard about my talent and suggested that I stay at the school and became the chef here. It was nice to find a way of using it to make people happy.”
“But can you make other stuff than food?”
“Nope. It is only food for me. But that is good enough.”
“It is a great gift. I love your talent. I wish I knew how I’m supposed to use mine.”
“You will figure it out.”
I was quiet for a long while. Mick stared at me. Then he moved some hair from my face and lifted my face with his finger under my chin. “You seem troubled?”
“Well, I am just wondering. Today in class I seemed so strong. Stronger than ever. I did a magic trick, I flew faster than any of the others, without even trying very hard, and I was on fire. But the other day I couldn’t even climb a rainbow even though everyone else did it with ease.”
Mick smiled and put a hand on my chest. “How is your heart?”
“What do you mean?”
“How did you feel this morning compared to that day with the rainbow?”
“I was happy this morning. I have been happy for several days now actually. Happier than I have been in a long time.”
“How did you feel the day with the rainbow?”
I went back in my thoughts and realized that he was right. I was miserable that day. “Frustrated. I remember being confused and a little mad at you for smothering me.”
“So there you have it. It is all in here,” he said and pointed at my heart.
I smiled. Maybe I could learn to control all of this somehow. With a little training I could learn to make the right things appear when I wanted, and with confidence and a joyful strong heart I could fly fast and balance on rainbows.
“How do you feel right now?” Asked Mick.
“Now?”
“Yes, right now. At this moment.”
“Happy. Peaceful. Relaxed.”
Mick grabbed my arm and started pulling. “Come on.”
Together we soared into the air. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“To climb a rainbow!”
The rainbow he had in mind was even higher and seemed narrower than the one we had tried to balance on in class a couple of weeks ago. Remembering what happened last time I tried, I quickly lost my confidence.
“I don’t think I …”
Mick stopped me. “I don’t want to hear that. Of course you can. Remember what you did earlier today. You can do anything. I have a feeling you are even stronger than I am.”
“How do you figure that?”
“I could never fly fast. And the first time I made something appear with my hands it was a rotten blueberry, not a living creature that could sing and fly. And I was so exhausted afterwards that I had to spend a night being treated in the hospital tower. I couldn’t fly for a week after it.”
Mick leaped onto the rainbow and stood for a second while finding his balance. When his body was steady he reached his hand down to me. I hesitated. “Come on!” he said with a grin. “I won’t let you fall.”
A glacial breeze hit my face as I took his hand and let him pull me onto the rainbow. At first my foot slipped a few times, but with Mick’s help I soon found my balance. Like a tightrope walker, I stretched out my arms and started putting one foot in front of another.
Mick smiled while I carefully took the first couple of steps toward the top. The surface of the rainbow beneath me was slippery and it was hard to keep my feet steady. At one point I looked up and felt discouraged when I realized how far I still was from the top. At that moment I lost my balance and almost fell off.
“Don’t do that,” said Mick. “Don’t look at the top. Focus on only one step at a time. Concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.”
I regained my balance and took in a deep breath. I looked down. The bright colors almost blinded me. It was beautiful. Through the rainbow I could see the castle far beneath us. I took another deep breath and put my right foot out. When it was steady I put out the left. And so I continued for a long time. The rainbow felt insecure and wobbly underneath me, but I kept walking, focusing only on the next step. Finally I felt myself nearing the top. The climb became steeper and har
der until I finally reached the top. Carefully I turned and waved at Mick who was far below me now. Then I took in a breath of the fresh air and enjoyed the amazing view of the area surrounding the school. I had never been up this high before. I was a long way above the clouds. I could see forests stretching as far as the eye could reach. I saw the wide ocean that just seemed endless. It was magnificent.
Cautiously I sat down on the rainbow and took one more look before I pushed myself down. It was like a giant slide that just kept going. It gave me butterflies in my stomach and caused me to laugh out loud. I felt like a four year old again. Nothing troubling me except how to get to the bottom. I was absolutely free, unthinking and utterly irresponsible. It was the most liberating feeling in the world. And it wouldn’t stop. The rainbow felt endless. I laughed and laughed and put my hands up in the air. At some point I wondered what would happen if I just kept going and never got off. My teacher had told me that no one knew where rainbows ended. Did that mean that I would just keep going forever and ever? That sounded so weird.
When I finally had enough I decided to get off. I didn’t care much for how it looked, since I was all alone, so I just curled into a ball and sort of rolled off. I landed on a cloud beneath me and couldn’t stop laughing. A few seconds later Mick joined me. He laughed like a child too.
“What an awesome ride!” I yelled.
“I know! I love doing this.”
We stayed on the cloud while our laughing turned to giggling and eventually wore off. Tears of joy and laughter ran down our cheeks.
“Thanks,” I said when we both became quiet.
“You are very welcome,” Mick answered. He was still smiling widely.
Sometimes we complicate things unnecessarily, I thought to myself, remembering my conversation with Rahmiel the other day. Maybe all I needed was to uncomplicate it a little.