I knew my statement would surprise her. I wanted to see her genuine response to me putting a label on whatever we had been doing the past few weeks.
“Girlfriend?” She asked, glancing back at me as we exited the plane and headed out of the airport.
“Well, wouldn’t that be an accurate description for what we’ve been doing? I mean, we have been practically gallivanting around like an old married couple—living together for the past few weeks and all…” I trailed off.
Jacqueline dropped her luggage and came charging at me. She hopped into my arms and as I held her there, suspended in air, our lips met each other’s in a passionate encounter.
“Take me home,” she gasped between kisses and you better bet I obeyed with no time to waste.
Jacqueline
I had thought the first time was passionate…the second time was record breaking. We had barely made it through his front door when our luggage hit the floor with a bang and Lee had literally scooped me up in his arms, carrying me to his bedroom.
Even though we had been cohabitating for close to three weeks, Lee had been a complete and utter gentleman; sticking to the plan of taking it slow…especially after my mother’s confession.
His shirt was off within seconds. I couldn’t help it, his abs turned me on like no other.
He pulled my shirt down, exposing my shoulder. He kissed it passionately then before pulling the entire shirt off and tossing it onto the ground beneath us. He laid me on the bed then in my bra and jeans, holding my arms above my head as he continued to trail my neck with kisses.
My breathing had deepened; my inner thighs growing hotter. His hands were exploring every inch of my body, causing me to tremble out with pleasure.
“Wait!” I called out, exasperated.
“What is it?” Lee jerked upright.
“I promised you a massage.” I proceeded to stand up and order him face down on the bed.
“Right now?” Lee asked, glancing down at his obvious erection.
“Lay down,” I ordered sternly.
“Yes ma’am!” Lee spun around and face-planted into his king sized bed.
I giggled before hopping on top of him. I began with working out some of the tension I felt along his lower back and upper shoulder blades. His body was beyond perfect—like a sculpture I was nervous of breaking.
I was kissing the area between his shoulder blades when he maneuvered himself back on top of me, pressing down into me so I could feel his erect penis.
I kissed him quickly before allowing him to remove my bra letting my breasts topple out.
“God, you are so sexy,” he whispered before taking of my breasts in his mouth and torturing me little by little.
The foreplay was so spot on I had him seconds from pleasure before he finally entered me and I felt the rough, fiery feeling between my legs. It felt hot, it felt good, and it felt right.
That was until he reached for my knee high socks to begin removing them. I grabbed at his hands to stop him. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m trying to get you to be yourself with me.” He kissed me gently then. “Do you trust me?”
I nodded.
“Then shut up.” He smiled a devilish grin at me before kissing me passionately while removing my socks. Instantly I threw my hands to cover my scars. He was going to think I was disgusting. He was never going to want anything to do with me after he saw what I did to myself.
What I hadn’t told anyone was that I hadn’t touched a blade since the night he discarded all of mine; a big accomplishment for me. What would normally consume my every thought changed to a dark skinned, dark haired boy…he invaded them.
“Oh baby,” he threw his hand over his mouth and I was sure I was hallucinating, but tears were welling up in his eyes.
I looked away, uncomfortable, attempting to cover up my bad mistakes.
“Why would you ever do this to yourself?” He asked, choking on his tears.
Tears unconsciously stung at the sides of my eyes at seeing a man so vulnerable. And not any man, a man I clearly cared about. I was crazy about him.
“I stopped.” It was all I could muster up.
“When?” He asked.
“July 13th.”
“That was…” Lee trailed off as he began to put it all together.
“Being with you has been my medicine,” I said, a silent tear running its course down my cheek.
Lee lowered his lips to mine and kissed me deeply and passionately. I tugged gently on his bottom lip playfully. And even though we were a snotty mess, our kisses had never felt deeper, more in sync. Our bodies had never mirrored each other’s so perfectly before.
Nothing was off limits…the ground, the bed, or a chair—we tried it all.
The sexiest thing about him was his ability to go and then go again and then go again. I swear he wore me out.
After I went to the bathroom to clean myself up and searched for a pair of pajamas…only to realize I had forgotten to pack any, Lee had carefully laid out a pair of his nerdy Holiday boxers and a short sleeved white shirt.
After slipping on the oversized pajamas he had picked out for me I climbed into his bed where he was sleeping soundly and wrapped my arms around him from behind. He flinched. I was pretty positive he felt it. And then I closed my eyes as well, breathing in every bit of him.
God damn him.
I was face-planting. I had lost my balance. He caught off guard—I let down my walls for him. If he even knew he held my world in his hands I wondered how he would react. Would he run? Why could I read so many other people in my life—but not Lee?
Take Travis for example. I knew he loved me. I knew he wanted to be more than friends since day one. I just pretended to stay clueless and ignore the fact. The less attention I gave it, the better.
But Lee had been so unpredictable from day one. It was the thing I found irresistible and frustrating about him all at the same time. I had been afraid to admit it…especially to myself…but he was right. It wouldn’t be long before there was no turning back.
Twenty Four – Insecurities Have no Place Here
Lee
She had entered my world. One immersed with family, adventure, fear, and loyalty. I wasn’t sure she knew what she had signed up for, but she had been an unnaturally good sport lately, and as much as I wanted to believe her when she said I was her medicine, I still worried—I still wanted to be prepared.
After a long, hot shower I stepped into my favorite robe and sat down on the bed next to her. She looked so peaceful. I gently swept a few hairs out of her face. She stirred when I did it.
“You’ve got to be joking me…” she muttered through one cracked eye.
“Rise and shine,” I said softly; this was the girl I had been expecting.
“Austyn and Avery are going to be here in less than an hour. We’re picking them up from the airport.”
“What?” Jacqueline choked out. “Your cousin?”
“And her boyfriend, yes. So you’re going to want to get ready.”
I heard a loud groan come out of her little body.
“Five more minutes!” She exclaimed then disappeared back underneath the covers. I laughed lightly, letting her get her way.
Thirty minutes later and Jacqueline hadn’t moved a muscle. In fact, she was still fast asleep. I ended up having to pick up the pair by my lonesome. I had to wonder if it was a coincidence or not. If Jacqueline was actually asleep or pretending to be so she could avoid the situation altogether.
“So, where is she?” Austyn began looking around the car animatedly.
“Well, she’s definitely not under the seats or in the trunk—so my best guess would be back at my place.” I chuckled at my lame joke.
Austyn punched me in the shoulder playfully. “Don’t be an ass.”
“She’s still sleeping.”
Austyn let up finally. “Awww, poor girl. Did you two have a late night?”
“You’re disgusting if y
ou think I’d discuss my sex life with you.”
“Rude!” Austyn shrieked. “I missed you.”
“Back at ya cuz,” I bared my pearly whites at her.
“So Avery, you ready for some adventures?” I finally acknowledged my pal sitting in the backseat.
“Yeah man, what do you have in mind?”
“Jac’s never been surfing, snorkeling, or zip lining…your pick.”
“Fuck yeah!” I saw Avery’s eyes light up in my rearview mirror.
As we pulled into the driveway I worried that Jacqueline was still going to be passed out. “Jacqueline may still be sleeping so let’s try to keep it down.”
“Oh Lee…” I heard Austyn gush.
I looked over at her quickly. “Don’t start.”
She threw her hands over her mouth like she was attempting to hold in a best kept secret.
“I’m just being a nice host,” I said.
After leaving Austyn and Avery in my living room I headed for my own bedroom; the last place I had left Jacqueline. I opened the door softly, but was surprised to see the bed was empty.
I closed my bedroom door behind me and headed for my bathroom, opening the door. Instantly I heard the familiar pelts of water against glass.
Jacqueline was taking a shower. Even though I had seen her naked multiple times before, I was still a gentleman—so I averted my eyes. “You okay?”
“Lee?”
I closed the bathroom door behind me, inching closer to her voice, still averting my eyes.
“Austyn and Avery are here.”
“Why do you want me to meet them?” She asked from inside the glass case.
“Because I care about you and I want to introduce you to other people I care about just as much, if not more.” Why was she questioning any of it? She had signed up for a fresh start, yet seemed hesitant.
“I’m coming closer,” I warned as I stepped towards the shower. I could now clearly see through the fog enough to know that Jacqueline was sitting on the ground of the shower—her knees pulled up under her chin and her arms wrapped around them. “What are you doing?” I asked softly.
“What if they hate me? What if they see my true colors one night and they convince you to leave me?” Her insecurities were sky high.
“It won’t happen,” I replied without hesitation. “They are going to love you.”
“You know that’s not true.” Jacqueline laughed softly.
“But did it make you feel better?”
She nodded.
“Then my job here is done. Now let’s get you dried off.” I opened up the glass door and reached for the silver knobs turning off the water.
I grabbed her towel off the back of the door and then held it wide open. This time I didn’t look away, I savored every bit of the woman walking towards me.
It was happening. I hadn’t paid it much attention in the beginning but I was headed to the point of no return. My days began to revolve around one thing, or rather one person who was all I worried about. She was slowly becoming the most important person in my life and it was terrifying the hell out of me.
I knew deep down what I was feeling, I just wasn’t sure I was prepared to face the truth head on yet.
Twenty Five – Zero to Sixty, You in or You Out?
Jacqueline
I had never grinded my teeth together harder or been more terrified in my life. The old Jacqueline would have had a full on melt-down; a psychotic episode—but I was holding my poker face rather well.
Inside, I was shaking like a scared little girl. The only thing that was even keeping me sane was Lee’s tight, comforting grip on my knee.
I looked up into his eyes and without saying a word he instantly made me feel calmer. He was looking at me as if to say, ‘it’s going to be okay, I’m here’…and I believed every word.
“We’re close,” one of the instructors said then.
I glanced to my right where Austyn and Avery were seated.
Earlier Austyn had been really excited for our adventure—but now she appeared quiet and timid.
Avery looked the epitome of calm, cool, and collected. I remembered him telling me he had gone skydiving before—so this little outing was more exhilarating for him and Lee because they knew what to expect.
Us newbies drowned in maybe’s and what if’s. We were women after all…
“I’ll go if you go.” I wasn’t sure where it came from—but I meant every word of it.
I could sense Austyn’s hesitation from a mile away—but I thought the notion of us both being novices would be appealing.
Austyn looked at me, not saying anything, just staring.
“We’re going to do this girl, and we’re going to fucking love it,” she said finally in a matter-of-fact tone.
Lee broke out into a wide grin, and then they announced it was time.
My heart began to race faster; Lee squeezed my knee harder. But it was real—it was actually happening.
They opened up the door and Avery along with his instructor were out of the plane in minutes
.
My heart was pounding loudly in my ears.
“Sky diving—really?” I turned to address Lee with my question.
“Now? You ask this now?” Lee was glancing between me and our awaiting instructors.
“Yeah,” I answered simply.
“It was all or nothing. We can work our way backwards to the easier victories—but if you can do this, you can do anything.”
I had to give it to him, his speech wasn’t half bad.
“Let’s do this Austyn,” I turned to my right.
She nodded her head slowly, standing.
I turned back to Lee and kissed him slowly and passionately, enjoying every second of it.
I felt his hands reach the back of my neck; we both let ourselves get lost in the kiss.
When I pulled away, I looked around for Austyn and noticed she was moments from making the leap.
“Austyn!” I called out loudly so she could hear me.
She shifted her gaze to me instantly.
“See ya down there.”
She smiled then before jumping. I gasped at the suddenness of it.
Lee grabbed my hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “We are going to do this together. I am right behind you babe.”
I took a deep breath and digested his words as our instructors linked up to us so we could make the plunge. We were the last two pairs on the plane.
As soon as I saw how high we were and felt the wind slap my face, I felt frozen in fear.
I’m right behind you, Lee’s words played on repeat in the back of my head.
“You ready?” My instructor shouted over my shoulder.
I nodded, not even believing myself. It all happened in the blink of an eye. My stomach lurched forward as my feet lost their balance and suddenly I was free falling.
I never got the chance to tell him that I loved him.
***
Skydiving. It happened. It was eye opening; life changing.
After my rough landing, I glanced up at the never-ending sky searching for a glimpse of my boyfriend.
Boyfriend. Lee was my boyfriend. Lee accepted me.
I love him.
“There!” My instructor pointed to his left about a half mile away.
Sure enough, I could see Lee’s dark skin and blue parachute from where we were standing.
I looked at my surroundings for any sight of Austyn or Avery and noticed the lip-locked pair a few yards away.
I smiled quickly then turned towards the general area I had seen Lee moments earlier.
I was going after my man.
***
Austyn and Avery didn’t stay much longer. Just long enough for them to experience my first surfing experience.
I couldn’t stand up on the board to save my life, I swallowed way too much salt water, and I left with a pretty bad sunburn.
They were everything Lee had made them out to be—and more. I loved t
he dynamic of their relationship and I envied how easily they solved their problems. They were a beautiful couple.
I was able to semi-hold my composure their entire visit, definitely something to be proud of.
Austyn and Lee’s relationship was admirable; this unbreakable bond you couldn’t see, but could feel. They loved spending time together and I loved how much of a positive role model she was to him. Avery as well.