This was my road; I recognized it.
“You do know her?” I asked, bewildered.
He nodded as his body tensed with what could only be anger. I couldn’t figure out why I kept bringing that emotion out in him. My ears burned with embarrassment as I tried to think of what I could have said or done wrong.
I pulled around the side of the house into the garage. I left the keys in the ignition and got out, then ran up the steps, trying to avoid that awkward moment where I should have asked him to come in.
When I opened the back door, I found Kara still sitting at the table, headphones in, writing at the speed of light. I waved my hand in front of her to get her attention, and she hit ‘Save’ before she pulled out her headphones and looked at me.
“Are you good with me going and getting waffles?” I asked.
“There’s food…,” she hesitated as she looked over my shoulder, “waffles sound fun…how was the show?” she asked.
I looked over my shoulder to see Draven standing in the doorway, smiling warmly at Kara.
“Good,” I answered for the both of us.
“Aren’t you missing someone?” Kara asked.
“They’re behind us,” I answered nervously, looking at her and hoping she wouldn’t embarrass me at any moment now.
“Interesting,” she said as she stared at Draven.
“How’s that story working out?” Draven asked her charmingly.
“Still working,” she said, winking at him.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, walking past her. The faster I got my money and out of there, the better off I’d be.
As soon as I reached the front room, I heard it again: the guitar. It was even more defined than before, making the tone almost addictive. As I climbed the steps, it didn’t get any fainter or louder; it was the strangest sensation to hear it...it was so warm.
I found my twenty in my jeans and ran down the stairs. When I started to go down the last flight, I saw Draven standing in the center of the front room. I slowed my descent as I watched him. His eyes were gazing above him, and his body was rocking in perfect rhythm with the sound I was hearing. I quietly walked to his side and touched his arm, pulling him out of whatever thought he was in.
“You hear that?” I asked as my eyes searched his for the truth.
He smiled slightly and tenderly reached his fingertips to brush a loose strand of my hair out of my face. I literally lost the ability to breathe for a moment.
“Hungry?” he asked quietly.
I nodded stiffly. He reached his arm out and let his hand rest on my back, gently encouraging me to lead. My entire body hummed with nervous anticipation of being in his presence.
Chapter 7
Kara was fixing herself something to drink when I walked back into the kitchen. She smiled nervously at Draven as she turned, and he nodded as if to calm her anxieties. I couldn’t understand what they weren’t saying to each other, or even how they knew each other so well.
“Do you need anything?” I asked, walking to the back door, wanting a fast escape.
“No, have fun,” she said, taking her seat at the table.
When I opened the door, I saw Draven’s Hummer running behind my garage. As he stepped past me to talk to them, I started to pull the door closed.
“Oh, Charlie,” Kara said, stopping me. She looked past me to see where Draven was. “What grade do I get now?” she asked in a teasing manner.
“Maybe a ‘C’,” I said, playing into her words.
“Interesting choice of letters,” she said, raising her eyebrows and putting her headphones in.
I shook my head slowly, completely oblivious of what she meant when she said ‘interesting.’
Draven was leaning into the open driver door of his Hummer. I thought he might be expecting me to ride with them, but I wasn’t ready to give him that control; I wanted to drive. I climbed in my driver’s seat and pulled out my phone; I knew I felt it vibrate earlier, and I wanted to clear the message so my battery wouldn’t die. The blue box said I had six unread texts, but I didn’t bother reading them; I marked them as read and hit the ‘Sleep’ button.
Draven opened the passenger door and slid in.
“I thought your brother was going to convince you to trade passengers.” I teased as I put the car in reverse.
He shook his head and smiled mischievously. “Na, he’s having too much fun,” he said.
I glanced at him curiously while driving down my driveway.
“No, not really,” he said, suppressing his laughter while answering my unasked question. Then he unwound a black cord he had in his hand, plugged it into the dash, and reached for my phone. “I just went to get you this,” he said, checking his connection.
My heart started to race as I realized that the last song I’d listened to was his.
He reached for the knob on the radio and turned it all the way up; as the guitar began, his eyes locked with mine. It was like I could feel the shock coming off him, and I didn’t know if that was bad or good. My trembling hand reached for the knob and turned it down to a whisper, then shyly dared to look at him again. I smiled slightly. “It’s my favorite; I didn’t know who it belonged to,” I said as steadily as I could; I was quite sure I hadn’t taken a breath in a moment or two.
His beautiful eyes echoed the anger he always seemed to carry. “If anyone would understand this song…it would be you,” he said sympathetically, turning the volume up.
He leaned back in his seat and began to move his fingers to the rhythm of the music.
I was paralyzed by his words. My thoughts moved to my dad, as they always did with these lyrics. The song echoed the pain of having to share someone before you were ready to. At that moment, I was yearning for my dad – I wanted someone to talk to about what I was going through. Before I could stop them, angry tears glassed over my eyes. I struggled not to blink, knowing that if I did a tear would race down my cheek.
Draven cautiously reached for my hand, and I let it fall from the steering wheel. Feeling his warm skin against mine, he gently moved his fingers with every chord that was played.
The grief I was feeling started to fade. Each time Draven’s fingertips would move, I swear in my mind I could see the sound of the music; it was so peaceful. I still heard the same words, but they carried a new emotion; this one was forgiving, telling me I wasn’t alone because what my dad was a part of now was all around me...he was still here, within me…I was going to win whatever battle I was fighting.
When the song ended, I pulled my hand away slowly and gripped the steering wheel. I felt his eyes move carefully over me.
“Divine,” I whispered, trying to thank him.
He reached to mute the sound, almost as if he knew I wouldn’t be able to hear it in front of him again. Neither of us attempted to fill the calming silence.
I followed his Hummer into the restaurant parking lot and pulled up on the passenger side. The place was packed, and I recognized a lot of the cars here from the field earlier. I looked up to see Madison with her back to the window, dancing in place. I shook my head; I knew that by now Madison had reached an annoying hyper mood.
“I do feel sorry for your brother, and I haven’t even met him yet,” I quietly teased.
When he didn’t say anything, l looked to my side at him; he was staring intently at me. Right now, I wish I could feel this figurative shield everyone always said I had. I didn’t want to sit alone with him in this car, and I didn’t want to go in; I just wanted to run.
“What did you see?” he asked in a voice just above a whisper.
I bit my bottom lip, terrified to answer him. I didn’t know how to describe it to him without sounding like I was out of my mind, or simply just too deep.
“The music, through your eyes,” I mumbled.
His shattered emerald green eyes captured mine; as he slowly leaned forward, he was so close that I could feel the numbing warmth of his body. My heart was pounding so hard, it almost hurt.
r />
“That’s a start,” he whispered, reaching to pull my keys out to hand them to me.
I tried to hold my hand steady as I took them from him. I looked down quickly, then fumbled to open my door; I needed air. Madison had climbed out of the Hummer and was beside my door, grinning profusely and jumping in place.
“A little hyper?” I asked shortly.
“Just staying alert,” she said, grinning abundantly and looping her arm through mine, pulling me to the sidewalk. “Do you remember now? Did you just kiss him?” she whispered, entirely too loud.
I ignored her question and looked behind me to see where Draven was. He was standing in front of the Hummer, saying something quietly to his brother Aden. The expression on Aden’s face was of absolute remorse, and his eyes moved to me as the expression of hope overcame the sadness. I swallowed and bit down on my back teeth, terrified of what he may or may not be thinking about me. Aden smiled slightly, and I saw the dimples Kara had mentioned earlier. Noticing my stare, he and Draven walked over to us.
“Aden… this is Charlie,” Draven said softly.
I nodded once at Aden; maybe it was because I felt like I knew Draven more, but in my mind they couldn’t look more different. With or without Aden smiling, revealing his dimples, their eyes, the way they carried themselves - couldn’t be more opposite. It wasn’t that one of them seemed stronger or nicer than the other; it was almost like it was their perspective, like they both saw the world intently, but on different levels.
“Come on, guys, there’s a table – someone’s getting up,” Madison said, reaching to pull Aden’s arm in the restaurant.
I couldn’t believe how many people were out this late at night. I felt the nervous anticipation of walking in, and I reached to pull my hood up. Draven gently reached for my hand to stop me, and as he looped his fingers through mine, the warm, tingling sensation of his presence swarmed through every part of me. “Let me see you…” He tilted his head and smiled slightly. “I’ll protect you.”
I smiled nervously. “I’m not good with people – I mean, crowds...well, both.” I shook my head, trying to stop the ignorance that was pouring from my lips, and attempted to smile through it.
“Me either,” he said as his grin widened and he pulled me forward.
I swear, every single person in the room turned to look at us as we walked in. I held my breath and tried to look calm. I felt Draven squeeze my hand as if to try and remind me that he was there. We followed Aden and Madison to an empty dirty booth in the corner. I could tell people wanted to say something to him, or even Aden, but all they did was smile and nod and hold up the bull sign that Draven’s style of music symbolized.
I slid into the booth, thinking that if my back was to everyone I wouldn’t be so uncomfortable; I was wrong, though, because in front of me was a window that reflected everything behind me. Draven slid in next to me, Madison sat across from me, and Aden sat next to her, but he made it a point to put as much space as possible between her and him.
I nervously looked out the dark window, then focused on the hum of conversation – I knew I needed a sound to hide behind if the whispers came back.
Madison erupted into laughter as she read a text and leaned to look around me, then she waved like crazy to a table across the room. Aden looked at Draven and rolled his eyes, and I bit my bottom lip, trying not to laugh. When he saw how amused I was by him, Aden blushed slightly, then looked at Madison. “Seriously – is that necessary?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes at him, then looked at Draven; he grinned slightly and nodded.
“See,” Madison said.
Aden shook his head and looked down – it was more than obvious he wasn’t fond of her. I couldn’t figure out why Draven was encouraging her to annoy Aden.
A waitress came over and began to clear what was left from the customers before us, and another woman came up behind her and took our drink orders.
Madison erupted into laughter again and dodged another look at the table across the room.
“You know what,” I said, leaning forward to get her attention, “you’re driving me mad. Just go over there; it’ll be faster than texting.”
“Yeah, but not as fun,” she said, trying to look serious.
Aden stood to let her out. “We’ll order for you,” he said as politely as he could.
“Alright, alright, sorry; just get me a waffle,” she said, trying not to laugh as she got up.
When Aden sat back down, he glanced at me and smiled. “Thank you.”
“Aww, come on, Aden...all that energy she has is good – you know that,” Draven teased, throwing his straw wrapper at him.
“The things I put up with for you…,” Aden said, looking down at his menu.
I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t help it. Draven looked to his side at me and smiled.
“She does remember how to laugh,” he said quietly as his eyes danced slowly across my face.
“When I have reason,” I mumbled as a breathtaking memory raced through my thoughts. It was him…me…him whispering those words to me as his fingertips danced across my side. I took in a breath, and my eyes widened as the memory began to fade and struggled to understand if that had happened.…or if it was something I wanted to happen. My cheeks blushed, and my heart pounded violently against my chest – I knew if that memory were real, my body wouldn’t be so out of control. I was going crazy – and at that moment I was furious with Bianca for giving me those drugs. I looked quickly away from Draven as I balled my fist in my lap. I wanted to go home – like now.
Aden cleared his throat in a vain attempt to break the tension that my odd reaction to one simple phrase had caused. A slight grin spread across his face. “Sometimes when I don’t have a reason to laugh…I try to think of times I did laugh – It helps me work through some dark moments.”
I let a nervous smile come to the corners of my lips as I unclenched my fist and raised my hands to the table. I reached for my empty straw wrapper and started to shred it into small pieces. “What if…what if you couldn’t remember…what if you couldn’t recall a single time you were happy?” I asked as I raised my eyes to meet his. From the corner of my eye, I saw every part of Draven tense, and the anger I seemed to evoke was back. Aden’s eyes moved to Draven, then back to me. He leaned slightly forward, holding his intent stare. “That’s not true –“
Before he could say another word, Draven sat up quickly and held his hand out to stop Aden from going on. “Aden…let it go – don’t make her talk about her past.”
I know Aden didn’t mean any harm and that he wanted to help me talk through why I’ve always been sad – but Draven either knew or could sense that most of the sadness came from a broken family. I felt understood, calm, and safe next to Draven.
The waitress came back, and as she set the drinks down she asked what we wanted.
“I’ll take a waffle. My friend, too,” I said to her.
Draven nodded and held up the number four to order for all of us. As the waitress questioned him on what else they may want, I looked outside at the darkness…it was quiet. The shadows have never been this calm – I didn’t like the fact that they’ve become unpredictable.
Once the waitress walked away, Draven followed my stare, but he focused on the reflection. “She’s the perfect distraction,” he said to Aden.
I looked at the reflection of Madison three tables back, sitting at the end of one of the center tables; she was laughing uncontrollably at something someone had said. I recognized most of the people she was with from middle school. I wasn’t really a big fan of any of them; they were just too fake, way too much unneeded drama.
Aden grinned slightly, shaking his head as he reached to pull his phone out of his pocket. Draven watched him closely as Aden checked something on his phone.
“Is it bad?” Draven asked.
Aden shook his head. “There’s one video, but you can’t see it clearly – the downloads spiked, but not much – I told you it
would be fine – it was worth it,” he said, glancing at me. Draven nodded once before smiling faintly.
The waitress returned with four plates of waffles. I tried to glance at Aden’s phone to see what he was looking at as he laid it on the table. I was sure he was checking to see if their performance had caused more people to notice them.
“What’s the name of your band anyway?” I asked, genuinely curious.
Draven shrugged his shoulders and smiled impishly. “We don’t really have one,” he answered.
“You might want to get one. I think you have a bigger following than you realize,” I said, looking at the reflection of the people behind us.
“I’d rather be anonymous… I told you I’m shy,” he said, clearly trying to mask the anger that every word or move I made seemed to invoke. My comfort around him was fading, and the desire to run took over me.
I took in an uneasy breath, then tried to think of something to say that would change his mood. “That’s a good name: ‘Anonymous’. That’s what I’m gonna call you until you come up with one,” I said as I laid my fork down. I was too nervous to eat.
“I like it,” Aden said, grinning. “Then we’d get credit for everything that’s anonymous.”
“That can’t be all good,” Draven said, holding his hand up to say no.
“There’s a lot of good things that are anonymous; look at all the quotes,” Aden argued.
“Yeah, and look at all the ransom letters,” Draven rebutted.
Aden furrowed his eyebrows, looking for a way either to argue with him or understand him.
Out of nowhere, flashes of memories that couldn’t belong to me raced through my mind. It was of the two of them in constant endless battles of wit. As I heard them in my mind, my uneasy feeling passed and laughter tried to erupt as a smile spread across my face.
Draven smiled. “Look, I can make her laugh, too.”
Reality came back to me – the one that told me that the drugs Bianca had given me had not only robbed me of my memory – but were, in turn, taking what little sanity I had away from me. I bit my bottom lip as I decided to embrace my newfound chaos – it was giving me insight into one of the most breathtaking people I’d ever met: Draven.