“Is Bianca the devil? Is that what you’re saying – she’s a demon?!”
Madison shook her head from side to side. “I don’t know – I don’t know what they are - I’m still trying to figure that out. I just know you can’t fight them on your own anymore.”
“Fight them?” I mumbled.
“Charlie, right now you’re confused and scared, and you’re taking too much of this in at once. I think you just need to take a deep breath…let what you know come back to you…it should be better once this eclipse passes.”
“Eclipse?”
She nodded. “Everything sucks around eclipses – just clear your mind and stay as calm as possible – fear is the devil’s weapon.”
“How can I stay calm? Are you serious? I hear whispers – see shadows move – I can’t control the way I feel about Draven – Britain thinks that we’re a couple – I have this fear that I led Bianca to the last place I wanted her to be – and then – then –”
Madison raised her hands to stop me. “This is why you can’t figure anything out – because you’re thinking about too many things at once. I know you don’t hear anything bad in this house – we’ll take care of what’s outside of it. Britain is insane; you don’t wanna be with him – you were foolishly trying to help him – let me figure that out…I’ll get as far as I can until your memory comes back. Bianca can never take what you thought she would – I told you that a hundred times – you’re just too stubborn to listen to me. And – and seriously – let yourself feel that way about Draven…it might be the spark you need to bring yourself back around.”
“He was a big part of my life…wasn’t he?” I said as every emotion from grief to love soared through me.
Madison scooted to the side, then stood and looked down at me. “Is – not was.”
I felt my stomach drop, and my hands began to tremble.
“Calm down, Charlie…I’m gonna go…I’ve got some stuff I need to look into – I’ll text you later.”
I nodded as I stared blankly into the room. As she walked down the stairs, the guitar sound all around me began to grow louder. My eyes glassed over, and I laid back on my bed. I felt so hopeless. I thought over every moment I had with Draven the past two days…and the random memories that flashed into my mind. I knew without a doubt that he was mad at me because I couldn’t remember him. I just didn’t understand why or how I could forget him. I didn’t understand why I had Britain in my life.
I thought for so long and hard that my head began to hurt. I finally decided that I had to go with my gut, which was telling me that I didn’t want Britain in my life – that whatever I wanted to save him from didn’t matter anymore…as I made that decision, fear consumed me. I knew it wouldn’t be easy just to tell him to leave me alone.
I remembered what Madison said – that this was a war of the mind. I knew I’d have to choose my words carefully and find a way to make them go away.
I took in a deep breath and cleared my mind, then focused on the sound of the guitar all around me. As my fingertips began to mock the sound it was creating, the sound grew louder. I stared at the blank space in my room – wishing for the first time that I really could see everything I could hear.
Kara topped the steps, holding a plate with a peanut butter sandwich and chips. “So is this, like, normal? For you to just stay in your room, not coming down to eat or say hi all day? Your friends coming and going one by one?”
I grinned. “Sorry I haven’t gone down yet. I don’t want to eat, though; Draven asked me to eat dinner at his house - is that OK?”
She walked over to my bed and nudged me to move over. “This is my sandwich, not yours. Nana told me you were going over there.”
“Nana,” I repeated, trying to call a memory of her back without any luck.
“You look stressed,” she said quietly.
“Just thinking a lot.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked, sitting her plate down on my stomach.
“Not really,” I said as I stole a chip from her plate.
Britain’s phone vibrated, and I reached for it and read the text: ‘Is she still there?’
The clock on my screen said five-fifty. I figured if I left early, I could talk to him without Kara overhearing.
“Do you think I should change? This is casual, right?” I asked Kara.
She looked over me. “Put some jeans on; it’s supposed to storm, and the temperature is gonna drop. If it gets too bad, I’ll come get you.”
“It’s just water,” I said, smiling slightly.
“And wind, lightning, and thunder on a dark road. I have to make it at least two nights keeping you safe. I think Robert and the guys he’s with have some kind of poll going on how well I keep up with you,” she said, smiling at me. “By the way, don’t tell him I let you go all day without eating or drinking – he’s already given me a lecture on how you need more maintenance than the plants that keep dying – I swear, I water them; we must just buy bad ones.”
She made me laugh. Kara could literally kill anything green. I’m sure she did water them – once, and then never again.
“Not funny, Charlie. I swear, I’ve talked to mom more in the last twenty-four hours than I have all month.”
“I ate at like two this morning, and I just now figured out that I’m hungry,” I said, reaching to steal another chip from her plate.
“You know she’s coming back, right? Tomorrow, if she can get a flight; if not, the day after for sure,” Kara said, tilting her head and staring intently at me.
“She said that,” I mumbled.
“I wonder why that motherly instinct has kicked in – I’m sure it’s not my fault,” Kara said, raising her eyebrows.
I reached for another chip. “She thinks I’m insane – and she’s probably right…I can’t figure out Draven…or Britain. I don’t wanna remember something bad, but I don’t wanna forget something good either…and that’s not even half of my issues.”
“Listen to me, Charlie….deep down, you feel pulled to Draven. I don’t know how this Britain guy has gotten into your head, but you need to find your way back…you’re starting to scare me.”
“I’m scaring myself…tell me what I’ve forgotten…,” I said with pleading eyes.
I could tell she wanted to tell me; I could see the frustration in her eyes. She sighed, then her eyes moved to the thin air around us. “Just listen, Charlie.”
As she said the words, the guitar sound grew louder, as if to make itself known.
“You hear it now?” I asked quietly, trying not to cover the sound.
Her eyes told me no. “I told you it’s not my song,” she said, patting my leg before she stood. She smiled over her shoulder as she walked down the steps. I ate two or three more chips before I got up and slid my tights off and my favorite jeans on. I thought about changing my shirt, but then I thought that would make me look like I was trying too hard. I pulled on my boots, grabbed my black hoodie and bag, and went down the stairs.
Kara was at the kitchen table, headphones in, typing at the speed of light. I waved my hand in front of her to say goodbye.
“Have fun,” she said, louder than she needed to.
I hesitated on the garage steps and listened; the guitar sound was gone, and all I could hear was the wind. I studied the shadows across the garage and the driveway just outside - they were ordinary, but it’s like I knew they were watching. I bravely walked to my car; once I got in, I plugged my phone in and turned the music up just loud enough for me to hear it.
I wasn’t confident enough to drive and talk on the phone, so I decided just to take my car to the covered bridge that was in my driveway and call Britain. I figured I had at least thirty minutes before I’d have to leave for Draven’s.
As I put the car in park, I told myself that I had to do this – that I had to overcome this desire to help him. I was starting to believe Madison: that I was a fool to think I ever could. Obviously, it did me more harm than go
od. I felt a numbing confidence as I found his number. I was going to end this one way or another. He answered on the first ring.
“Are you here?” I asked in a quiet, flat tone.
“Do you want me to be?” he asked warmly.
I hesitated for a second, then said, “No.” I felt my heart race as that one simple word left my lips.
“Charlie, you know that’s not true,” he said, as if I were only joking.
I tried to think of words that would make him see how serious I was, but the fear of making him angry was just too much. I stayed silent.
“I think that being there… in your father’s house, around your mom and sister – I think that’s causing you to be scared, that you’re trying to run away from me because you think I’m gonna hurt you, but I’m not…I’ll always be here.”
“You can’t be with me – not now, not ever...”
“I bet if you were looking me in the eyes, you wouldn’t be able to say that,” he said quietly.
I looked to the road ahead of me, watching for passing cars, knowing he’d have the audacity to show up here.
“I would,” I said, halfway hoping he would so I could just get this over with.
“I’ll be there in two hours,” he said calmly.
“No, I’m not gonna be home.”
“Where are you going, Charlie?” he asked in an accusing tone.
“Dinner at a friend’s house.”
“Who’s?” he asked, trying to sound interested.
“Draven,” I answered, hoping he’d finally see the division I was trying to make. I squinted my eyes, judging his every breath.
“Draven…” he said quietly. “Well…that’s not the name I thought you’d say…”
“What name did you think I was going to say?” I asked shortly
“Not that one – it doesn’t matter – what does he look like, just so I can be sure you’re safe?”
“Are you serious? I’m not gonna describe him to you! Why would I not be safe?”
“Look, Charlie….I don’t know how to explain it….but there’s someone that will no doubt take you away from not only me, but everyone you know. I know you don’t want that to happen, that you like it where you are right now in your life; I just wanna keep you safe.”
“I am safe – and no one is taking me away from my life.”
“Are his eyes hazel? Do they seem like they’re glowing?”
“What? Glowing? No.”
“Alright – then you’re still safe.”
“That’s debatable – listen, I’m not gonna say this again. I don’t want Bianca here – and the two of you are glued to each other – therefore, we cannot be friends – not until I figure out who I am and where I’m going.”
“If you want me to stop talking to Bianca – then I will. I thought you liked having her as a friend; if not – then fine, relationship over.”
“What?! You’ve known her your whole life; you aren’t just gonna stop talking to her to be friends with me – because that’s all we’ll ever be – do you understand that?”
“Growing more and more clear,” he said shortly. “You’re addictive, though – so even if I’m just your friend, that’s enough for now.”
“I’m only addictive because you can’t have me.”
He laughed quietly. “If you only knew,” he said quietly. There was an awkward silence, then he said, “Alright, Charlie, drive safe; storms are coming your way.”
“Alright,” I said, sliding the bar to end the call.
At that moment, a loud rush of evil whispers screamed at me. I couldn’t understand what they were saying over the hissing sound. I reached for the radio and turned it all the way up, but they just grew louder. The shadows inside the covered bridge started to move, but before they took shape I pressed the gas all the way down and started to hum along with the song that was playing.
Chapter 9
It was dusk; the time of day I hated – the time of day when shadows seemed to rule the world. I sped through the winding roads, ignoring the shadows as they reached out for my car. As the whispers continued to taunt an evil hissing noise, I hummed louder.
I was so focused on fighting the darkness that I didn’t even have the chance to get nervous as I turned into Draven’s driveway. No less than twenty feet in silence came, then I slowed down and stopped. As I looked over my shoulder at the edge of the driveway, I could see shadowed figures standing – it was as if they couldn’t follow me here – and a sly smile came across my face. I didn’t understand their boundaries; I was just glad they were in place.
I turned in my seat and pulled forward. I knew that for the next few hours, Draven would be a distraction from everything. I wanted to figure him out – to figure us out. I thought about just asking him, but I knew I’d never have the courage to - at least not now.
The clock on my dash said six-forty as I pulled up in front of his house. There wasn’t a car in sight. I was sure there was a garage around back, but I didn’t feel comfortable enough to go in through the back door.
I looked down at my phone and read the last text; it was from Bianca: “Who is this Draven guy?”
I glared at the screen as I read the text again, and anger absorbed every part of me –I was starting to think she was using Britain to distract me – from what, I don’t know, but I wasn’t going to play games with her anymore.
‘A friend.’ I texted back.
“Does this friend know I exist – that Britain does?” was her response.
I rolled my eyes; I could see right through the guilt trip she was trying to lay on me.
‘Have not had a chance to tell him the details of my life.’
‘What have you been doing’
As I remembered the power I felt when I played earlier today, a sly smile came across my face: ‘learning to play the guitar’
‘I see a musician –bad idea don’t make your mothers mistakes’
I was so mad, I almost threw the phone through the window, but instead I decided that I wasn’t going to let her make anymore remarks about my mom – or my dad. They didn’t deserve them. They’d already paid the ultimate price for loving each other.
‘If that was a mistake then so was my life.’
As I hit ‘Send’, another text came from her. I knew she hadn’t had a chance to read what I sent. ‘That was wrong - below the belt I’m just hurt you didn’t tell me about another guy we are suppose to be best friends.’
‘I wasn’t trying to hide it.’
‘Is your mom really coming or did you just say that so you could spend time with this guy?’
I shook my head in disgust – apparently, now I’m a liar. I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t a dramatic manipulator like her, who found it normal to drug her friends so they’d ‘relax’, but I held that argument back in case I needed to use it when I was face-to-face with her.
‘She is coming tomorrow call my sister – check flights – I’m not lying – thanks for accusing.”
‘Just text later when you’re not so mad’
I threw the phone on the seat, refusing to take it in, then took a deep breath and rubbed my hands over my face in a vain attempt to wash away the stress I was feeling.
I looked up at Draven’s house as I got out of the car. The brown stones were uneven, adding to the castle image. The windows were all huge and angled in an arch at the top; it was absolutely beautiful. I slowly climbed the wide front stone steps, trying to get my mind here and nowhere else.
With trembling fingers, I rang the bell. As I waited for someone to come to the door, I glanced at a large Ash tree beside the entrance. A few feet from the ground carved in its trunk were the initials ‘C’ and ‘M’. I leaned closer to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. There were other initials beneath them, a ‘D’ and a ‘M’ – my breath left me, and my heart started to race. I remembered watching Draven carve that – I remembered the lecture from his dad, telling him we’d hurt the tree, that it was alive
– we were just kids.
As disbelief coursed through me, my heart started to race again– what else could I have forgotten? How come I feel like Draven is the most important thing in my life…that he’s the air I breathe? His voice…that perfect, addictive voice began to echo in my mind. I heard him say random words…I heard him whisper, laugh, sing…then I heard… anger – he was yelling…at me. My chest ached in pain as my heart continued to pound – I felt sick… I was angry at myself – disgusted with myself – and I didn’t even know why. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to focus on his words, which were still echoing in my mind.
“What have I done…?” I whispered to myself.
At that moment, the wide wooden door that arched at the top opened, and Draven’s voice fell silent in my mind as I turned and found an adorable older woman. She was my height with silver hair; it looked like age had been good to her because her skin look so soft and her eyes were so blue, they looked like water. As she reached her arms out to hug me, an excited smile came across her face.
“There she is,” she said, extending her arms so she could see me. “You’re just stunning.”
I blushed and tried to smile. I looked behind her; as I heard the electrifying sound of a guitar and the explosion of drums fill the air, I looked back at her.
I wanted to run…run away. I’d done something horrible – something that made Draven mad. I didn’t think I could face him…at least not until I figured out what I’d forgotten.
The older woman’s smile lessened. “Now, child…you have no need to fear what’s in here.”
As I questioned her with my eyes, she looked behind me and slowly furrowed her eyebrows. “Nothing can hurt you here…come,” she said as her eyes fell into mine again and her smile grew once more.
I felt my heart begin to slow. Breathing became easier, and I didn’t want to run anymore – at least not away from here – I wanted to charge through this door – breathe in the smell of bliss – the smell of home.
“That’s better,” the woman said as she reached for my shoulder and guided me in.