Kara leaned forward on her knees as she contemplated my words. “The only problem is….you were acting strange before this…and you didn’t tell me what was wrong. The only person you told was Madison…and if it was up to her, you would already be home…my emotions are telling me to take you there.”
“What if something bad happens?”
“Worse than this?” Kara asked, looking over me.
“I’m alive – it was a stupid mistake; it’s not like I died or something.”
“Maybe not…but you are missing a big part of who you are…you’re missing your confidence.”
“I’m confident that I want safe haven – that’s Salem.”
“You need to feel safe in your own skin, Charlie,” Kara said, standing. “Mom is following us back this afternoon just to make sure you’re settled, and to have a celebration lunch.”
I bit my lip and felt the anger blush in my cheeks. I felt out of control and hated every second of it. I figured I could go home for the weekend or something, then find an excuse to come back here. At least that way, everyone would get what they wanted.
“Charlie, please come – please,” the whispers pleaded.
I shook my head from side to side.
“Can you at least get my phone back?” I asked pleadingly.
“I’ll try. If not, I’ll let you use mine.”
“I want if for my music, not to talk on it,” I said, rolling my eyes.
Kara gently reached her hand to the side of my face and cradled my ear. “Have you forgotten how to make them silent?”
I looked at her curiously. “I never knew how to,” I said quietly.
Fear filled her expression as she tried to smile. “Get ready.”
Once I was at the school, I went to the gym to line up with my class for our march to the auditorium. I searched the crowd of royal blue robes for Bianca, trying to focus on the random conversations and ignore the muffled whispers. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t have my phone, to make sure she knew that I wasn’t going with her to Cancun – to tell her goodbye – forever. I didn’t want to be her friend. I didn’t want her in my life – her seductive image – the way she manipulated everything and everyone around her was something I wanted nothing to do with. Not after what she did to me the other night.
I’d given up and was making my way to sit on bleachers when silence came to the whispers and I felt her arm hook through mine. I looked to my side to see her huge crystal blue eyes smiling at me. Next to her olive skin and long dark hair, the blue almost seemed angelic, but that was her weapon. I knew that under her innocent reflection, there was something sinister – something I’d been trying to conquer for a while.
“I know you’re not mad at me?” she said, grinning.
“I am,” I said under my breath.
“Did you sleep? I’ve been texting you like crazy. I came over, but your mom wouldn’t let me in,” Bianca said, straightening my robe.
“Tell me your version,” I said in a harsh tone.
“My version of what?” she asked in an astonished tone as she took off her cap and swooshed her hair forward. She always kept her hair down to hide the birthmark on the back of her neck. It was dark and shaped like a broken heart. I actually adored it…it almost seemed poetic to me.
“What did you do to me?” I asked as she put her cap back on and adjusted her hair beneath it.
“Nothing…I thought it was valium. I just needed you to relax…you’re so uptight all the time.”
“That wasn’t valium, and that wasn’t what you were trying to do,” I said confidently as I looked away from her.
“What was I trying to do, Charlie?” she asked innocently.
I moved my head from side to side. “It will come to me…until it does, I need time to think.”
“Well, you have twenty-four hours before we fly away, so think away.”
“I’m not going away with you – plans cancelled.”
I could see anger come over her innocent expression. She stared into my eyes, and something told me to look away - not like a coward, but as if she didn’t deserve to look into my eyes.
“I think your mom has messed with your head – you’ll feel better in a day or so. Why don’t you and Britain go out tonight? Spend some time alone.”
“No…,” I said quietly. “I have plans.”
“With?”
“I have a life outside of you.”
“Do you?” she said, laughing causally. “I’ve spent almost every waking hour with you for the past three months – the only person you talk to besides us is Madison…and well…you need to get over that girl.”
“I’m sure she has the same opinion of you,” I said shortly.
“BFF war - is that what you want?” Bianca said in teasing manner. “Alright then – I apologize from the bottom of my heart for causing you so much trouble.” She stepped forward and reached for my hands. “I just wanted to see the real you – the one you hide.”
“No war…I just need space right now – low profile – my mom has never been this mad at me before. I have plans for the next few days – maybe even the summer. I don’t have my phone anymore; if I get it back, I’ll text you or something.”
“Summer? What? What are you talking about, Charlie? You don’t want to leave me here with Britain.”
I dared to look into her eyes. She was right: my emotions were telling me that that was exactly what I didn’t want. The emotion wasn’t of jealousy - it was of fear that she could hurt him…but that seemed absurd.
I held a calm expression as I stared at her. “And why is that?”
“You like him…a lot…he likes you, and being away from him makes you anxious.” As she spoke, I swear I saw her pupils begin to expand. I looked away from her eyes and out to the crowd.
“I’m only anxious because I’m missing memories…they’ll come back, and when they do – whatever goals or ambitions I had before the other night will not only be stronger – I’ll be relentless in achieving them.”
“Your only goal was to live happily ever after with Britain, to live happily ever after with me.”
I rolled my eyes. “You really don’t know me, do you?”
Before she could answer, the principal blew the whistle for us to line up. I looked down as I walked to my place in line. The whispers began to emerge with each I step I took. I was starting to think that was a good sign…I don’t know why; all I knew was that I had to do something to bring my memory back – the sooner the better.
The march into the auditorium, the speeches, the sound of my name being called to receive my diploma were moments I should cherish, but I didn’t. I focused on taking small breaths and trying to play a song in my mind. I couldn’t make out what the whispers were saying, but it was clear they were enjoying the agony they were putting me through. Once the final words had been said and the caps were soaring through the air, I turned and politely hugged the people next to me before looking for my mom and sister.
When I found them, Kara took pictures of me and my mom as we posed as the happy, accomplished family. My mom was pulled away by someone she knew from her company. Kara made me smile for a few more pictures.
“I’m going to check my locker before we leave; I think I left a hoodie in there,” I said to Kara as I blocked another shot from her flash.
“OK, hurry up; we have a long drive,” she said, scanning her camera to make sure she had properly captured the moment.
I expected all the lights to be on in the school, but they weren’t. I stood at the entry way to the hallway my locker was on. It was barely lit enough for me to see my way. I thought about just leaving whatever was in my locker behind, but then the frustration of giving in to my fears took over. I unzipped my robe and laid it on the floor, took in a breath, then ran to my locker. The shadows reached out for me, and I heard them say, “Charlie...come, Charlie…we need you...come.”
“Never,” I said, gritting my teeth as I fumbled with my combination.
/>
The only thing I found in my locker was a black hoodie. I quickly put it on, covering my black dress. As I started to walk briskly back, I fumbled with my hood; something that I could not see pushed it back. I heard the whispers hiss and laugh as I turned, looking for anything or anyone that could have touched me. My heart started to race, and adrenaline rushed through every part of me.
“ – ours, Charlie,” the whispers hissed.
I tried to step forward, but something blocked me. I couldn’t step back or to either side. Panic completely consumed me. I fell to my knees, squinting my eyes closed and humming as loud as I could. I swear, I could feel the shadows brush against me. I was horrified. Then all at once, they were silent, and whatever was blocking me had vanished.
I stood slowly and pulled my hood up as I took a deep breath. Every part of me was numb – they were getting stronger, and I didn’t know why.
“Charlie,” I heard Britain say.
I let my breath out, now knowing why the shadows and whispers had vanished.
I turned to see him just a few feet away. You’d think that I’d be grateful – that the fact that he could somehow shield all of my fears would make me want to be with him, but it didn’t. It made me mad. I wanted to be the one that caused them to be silent .I didn’t want to need him.
“Are you OK?” he asked in a concerned tone as he slowly walked to me.
“I didn’t know you were coming,” I said, trying to change the subject – to avoid the question of why I looked so terrified.
He reached my side and let his hands rest on my hips, pulling me closer to him. He then tilted his head, still holding a concerned expression. “Where else would I be?” he asked, trying to hold my stare.
I looked down. “I have to go.”
He gently reached his fingertips to my chin and encouraged me to look him in the eye. I held my breath and stared into him fearlessly. His grin widened. “Where are we going?”
“I can’t take you with me…but I need you tell me you’ll be fine…that I don’t have to worry about you.”
His tender expression changed to anger. “What are you saying? I don’t want you going anywhere alone,” he said, looking down the dark hallway. “It’s not safe for you to be alone.”
“I don’t think it’s safe to be with you either – obviously, helping you managed to leave me worse off than I was to begin with.”
“How do you know that? What’s worse?”
“My memory, for one thing – I can’t even remember half the things we’ve said to each other…why I wanted to see something in you…save you.”
“See?” he repeated, tilting his head.
I let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know what I mean – if you remember what I wanted to help you with – listen to me. I had to have told you.”
He stepped slightly back, and I saw his dominant jaw lock. I could tell he was angry - not at me, but at someone – maybe even Bianca.
“You thought I was in danger…but you’re wrong…standing at your side, it’s impossible for me to be in danger – you stop it.”
“Stop what?” I said in a vacant tone, wanting someone to acknowledge the fact that I could hear darkness – that somehow next to him, it was silent.
He looked down at me and let his eyes dance across my face before he answered. “There’s a balance in the universe.” He reached his hands for my waist and pulled me close to him. “And when you disturb that balance, you bring hardship that’s undeserved to you.”
“I’m causing this?” I said, looking down the hall at the shadows that I knew were waiting for a chance to toy with me.
“I don’t think you mean to…you were born this way – into your family…but I can take your fear away…you just have to trust me to do that.”
My stomach started to turn, and I felt dizzy. I had never told him anything about my family. I don’t even think he knew I had a sister. Why would he say my family had a curse? I felt a yearning to argue with him, to tell him he was wrong, that his family…his world was dangerous and he had to save himself. That he was strong enough, but I couldn’t find the words to back my emotions.
“How can you take it away – how do you?” I asked timidly as I tried to look calm.
He raised his right hand to my eye and gently caressed my lashes closed, then whispered, “Change your perspective – you have sympathy when you should have disgust.”
He lowered his hand, and I opened my eyes slowly. “I don’t have either of those emotions…I just want to ignore it.”
A grin spread across his face, and all of the anger he had before seemed to fade. “That works, too.” His eyes slowly searched my face. “You have to be the most breathtakingly beautiful… mysterious girl I have ever met.” His eyes glanced at the space around me. For a second, I thought someone had come to look for me, but then his eyes fell into mine again. “I don’t know what’s more intriguing to me – this shield you have around you, or the undeniable power of your soul.”
I smirked at his comment. “The power of my soul – that’s a little deeper than what most guys would say,” I said, raising my eyebrows as I removed his hands from my hips.
“I’m not most guys. I doubt anyone sees you the way I do,” he said, holding a serious gaze.
“And how is that?” I said, trying to hold a distant approach to his words – trying to fight my swarming emotions – the ones that were telling me that if I could save him, I could protect something so much more precious…I just didn’t know what that was.
“You’re everything,” he whispered.
He slowly began to lean into me. I felt my heart race and my ears start to burn. I didn’t want to kiss him…it felt like it would be betrayal - one that I could never recover from.
I looked into his eyes, but they were not looking at me; they were carefully studying my lips. I closed my eyes, wishing for a way out of this. I felt the heat of his lips near mine. My heart was beating so loud, I barely heard the sound of my name. I stepped back, finding myself against the lockers.
“Charlie?!” Kara said.
It sounded like she screamed, but it was more like a harsh whisper. I stepped abruptly back from Britain and looked to my right to see her coming down the hall, holding my gown. I looked back up at Britain only to find him grinning and shaking his head. “It’s uncanny how she always knows when to show up,” he whispered.
“That’s my sister,” I said as I let out a grateful sigh; if it were my mom, I’d be dead by now.
“Really? She doesn’t look like you,” he said, standing up a little straighter and looking curiously down at me.
I could see a betrayal in his eyes – he knew then that I’d hidden more than I’d ever revealed to him. I was really good at avoiding conversations I didn’t want to have. I’m sure that’s what he meant when he referred to my shield. I also found it somewhat humorous what he said about my mom always showing up at the wrong moment. From my vague memories, I could recall that when Britain did manage to create a moment that I didn’t have the courage to refuse, my mom either came home or called at that instant…I felt the emotion of gratitude and relief consume me as I watched Kara come closer to us.
“I’m coming,” I said to Kara.
She was just a few feet away from us now.
“We’ll go together,” she said, looking at Britain.
He reached his hand out to her. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Britain.”
“I’m Kara… I wish I could say I’ve heard a lot about you,” Kara said, shaking his hand.
Britain grinned slightly. “I could say the same. At least I’m not the only one she keeps in the dark.”
“Well, Charlie has always been one to keep her thoughts locked away,” Kara said, giving me an intense look.
“We were just talking about that shield she has around her,” Britain said, looking intently down at me.
I ignored the invitation to explain why I never mentioned a sister and stepped forward. “Is mom look
ing for me?” I asked Kara.
“She’s talking to your friend Bianca’s parents. It might be a good idea for you to say your goodbyes; we have a long drive.”
I felt my stomach tie itself in knots; I told Bianca I wanted a low profile, and what does she do? Let her parents near my mom.
Britain looked down at me and shook his head slightly. He knew I was mad at Bianca. He looked at my sister and said, “I feel like I’m in the dark…where’s our long drive to?”
I looked at Kara and pleaded with my eyes for her to be discreet. I didn’t want anyone to know where I was going – or for how long.
“School is over…so is Charlie’s time in the city,” Kara said, looking at Britain. “Maybe once she’s feeling better and mom has some to time to get over the other night, I can get her phone back…she’ll call you if she wants to.”
Britain looked down at me. “You don’t have a phone anymore? Since when?”
“Sometime Friday,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“You haven’t listened to music since Friday?” he asked, surprised.
I shook my head no.
“No wonder you’re so tense,” he said in a low tone. He then smiled at Kara and said, “I understand…her health is very important to me, too.”
Kara reached for my hand. “She’s getting better every second…it’s time to go home, Charlie.”
I took her hand. Kara looked over at Britain once more, then pulled me to walk away. I looked over my shoulder at him. “I’ll find you,” he whispered.
Hearing his words, Kara gripped my hand and pulled me to walk faster.
Chapter 3
Almost everyone had cleared out of the school; only a few people were posing for pictures now. I saw my mom, Bianca, and Bianca’s parents by the door.
As Kara and I walked closer, I tried to judge my mother’s composure. She wasn’t tense at all; in fact she looked very relaxed. She was smiling and nodding along with something Bianca’s father was saying. She even smiled at me as I walked up.
“There she is,“ Bianca’s dad said.
This man towered over me. I was sure I had never even looked him in the eye. He just has a power that dominates off him. It was intimidating to be in his presence, to say the least. I had no idea how my mom mustered the courage to argue with him that night at the ER.