“You know, I should totally make you my understudy. You’re a sneaky little thing.”
I give him a tight smile in response, remembering Cain’s words: I’m not one of them.
“Secure?” Cain asks over my head.
Toyol nods once. “Affirmative. The staff have all taken the evening off. The perimeter is secure.”
The four of us take a seat at an empty table, and I briefly wonder what Toyol means by his comment about the restaurant workers. I don’t want to think that they’d be capable of hurting innocent people so casually, but they are demon assassins. And desperate times call for desperate measures.
“Tell us,” Cain demands, once we’ve settled. “Tell us everything.”
Over the next half hour, I go over everything that went down since we came to New Orleans, omitting the part about Lucifer and I sleeping together. It’s not because I don’t fully remember. It’s because I do remember, and a large part of me wishes that I didn’t. A large part of me wishes those hours of unparalleled bliss and passion were still shrouded in blackness so they weren’t constantly haunting me to the point of madness. What happened between us…I can’t describe. It was as if our two souls had been lost in the dark for a thousand years, desperately searching for the other, and we had finally found each other. I’d never felt a connection so deep, so intimate, with anyone, not even Legion. It was as if I had been a rotting corpse my entire life, and his touch, his kiss, his cock, brought me back to life.
And then I woke up.
And under the clarity of morning, I realized that I’m still dead inside. And being with him was all a cruel dream.
How do I forget that? How do I carry on like it didn’t matter? Like he wasn’t such a fiercely attentive, tender lover who treated me like no other female in this universe existed when he looked at me? I could I tell myself that he’s like that with everyone—a seasoned bullshitter who will say and do whatever it takes to get what he wants. But then I remember that night when I saw him with Kairo and their female companion. He looked…lost. Almost sad. Like he couldn’t feel anything at all, the pleasures of his body were merely an involuntary reaction.
I wonder if Kairo stroked his hair after they had sex. If he felt safe with him and allowed himself to fall asleep on his stomach. I know the answer, yet still, I want to tell myself that he did. I want to believe it. Then maybe I could convince myself that what we had meant nothing to him. That I meant nothing to him.
That he means nothing to me.
“I’ll set up heat sensors around and inside the home,” Toyol says, breaking me out of my inner torment.
“It won’t matter,” Lucifer pipes up beside me, shaking his head. “We have reason to believe that Legion is being powered by the death of a Seraph—Raphael. And Stavros may be leeching off that power to strengthen his own magic.”
“The Redeemer would have absorbed Raphael’s life force,” Cain counters.
“It didn’t. I checked.” Lucifer waves a palm in the demon’s direction. “See for yourself.”
Cain shoots Toyol a look, then does a quick scan of the restaurant to ensure we’re truly alone. Then he pulls out the blade and gingerly sets it on the table. We watch quietly, not even a breath stirring between us, as Cain lets a hand hover over the blade. His face is pinched in concentration, like Lucifer’s was, as he mentally searches for Raphael’s soul.
“Shit,” he spits, pulling his hand away to break whatever connection he’d made with the dagger. “I can’t find him.”
“Lucifer said that there could be some kind of siphoning spell on it. That could be the reason why Jinn didn’t die instantly. Maybe there’s a way we can reverse it and save him,” I suggest, trying to look on the bright side of an otherwise shitty situation.
But optimism is for fools. I should have learned that a long time ago.
Toyol and Cain look at each other, both of their expressions grim. I swear I see Toyol’s slanted eyes glaze with tears before he turns away.
“Jinn is dead,” Cain croaks, his voice raw. “He’s gone.”
“What?” The word is nothing but a broken whisper.
Cain nods once. “We got word from Phenex last night and we rushed back to Chicago. He perished within minutes after our arrival. Lilith and Andras are still at Irin’s…mourning. Phenex is…” He swallows thickly. “We all knew it was coming, but he’s taking it the hardest.”
“But…but…” I stammer, trying to conceal my grief and failing miserably. “I thought the transfusions were working. And Adriel…I thought she could help.”
He shakes his head. “It was, at least enough to keep him alive. But then last night, something weakened her, and he took a turn for the worst. He couldn’t recover, and there was nothing any of us could do.”
Last night.
It was just last night that Lucifer had detected Jinn’s life force within The Redeemer. He confirmed he was dying, but I thought he had more time. Then…
The mansion.
I used my holy light to break the spell that had captured us. A blast so great that it cut through Stavros’s angel-tainted magic. Even the Dark Queen, the most powerful warlock in existence, and the Devil couldn’t break it, yet I could. Me, a half Seraph abomination.
I must have drawn from Adriel’s strength. And in doing that, I must have inadvertently killed Jinn.
I touch my shaky fingers to my parted lips to conceal a sob. “I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t know.”
“How could you? You ditched your comm. We’d been trying to contact you for days, only to find that all the tech Toyol had given you was still at Irin’s. I knew we should have put a tracking device in that thing,” he says, pointing to the leather jacket I’m wearing. “But the others insisted that we could trust you. Yet, here you are, a liar and a thief. I had to interrogate the human pilot and flight attendant from the jet that brought you here and jeopardize our alliance with Irin. And then to find you’re here with him?” he sneers, jutting his chin out towards Lucifer.
As arrogant as ever, Lucifer merely shrugs. “She could do worse.”
“I doubt that,” Cain grumbles. “I should have known you’d take her to The Saint, one of the only places on Earth that demons can’t enter. That’s some serious self-hatred.”
“Self-hatred? Have you seen yourself lately? You’re a fucking horror show, Demon of Murder. Why don’t you tell Eden how you got that scar?”
Ignoring the bickering, Toyol busies himself with his smartphone. He’s modified it to where he can hack into any surveillance system in the city, including the NOLA PD. However, I’m tempted to hear more about Cain and what could have possibly mutilated his face from lip to ear. But before I can ask him, there’s a jarring crash against the outside restaurant window that faces the street. Within a half a second, we’re all on our feet, weapons drawn and crouched in defensive stances. But there is no threat, at least not to us. Just every other innocent life in New Orleans.
Blood and spittle is smeared on the dingy glass, and a man desperately cries for help. His pleading eyes are bright red and he’s bleeding from his ears. He bangs on the glass again, begging for someone to let him in, crying out for God to save him from his affliction, before he collapses onto the sidewalk. We watch in horror for what seems like hours, none of us sure of what to do. When I finally snap out of my terror-stricken trance and step forward, Lucifer stops me.
“It’s already too late,” he says somberly.
“What? That man needs help! Toyol, call 911!”
But even he knows what Lucifer says is true and doesn’t make a move. And judging by Cain’s stony expression, for once, he agrees with Lucifer.
It’s too late.
We’re already too late.
“It’s happening, isn’t it?” I whisper, anguish echoing in my tone. “She’s here.”
“Who?” Toyol questions.
We hadn’t gotten to this part yet. We hadn’t told him the whole story.
I turn to him, my wide eyes
glazed with fear.
“Pestilence. She’s here.”
We escape out the back door just as approaching sirens sound. I understand the need to remain invisible, but I don’t feel good about leaving a dying man on the street. We should have done something. But, honestly, what could we possibly do?
“I thought I told you not to call Lilith,” Lucifer snaps as we turn a corner onto a side street.
“I didn’t call her,” Cain retorts, just as bitingly. “She knew we came here. She must’ve followed us.”
Toyol and Cain have an SUV parked a few blocks away, and we make our way through the unusually thin crowd of shoppers and bar-hoppers to get to it.
“Someone needs to explain this to me,” Toyol says, jumping into the passenger seat. Cain is at the wheel. “Did Lil do this? And what the hell does she have to do with Pestilence?”
“She is Pestilence,” Cain answers. “She’s one of Lucifer’s Horsemen, along with the Dark Queen and Eden.”
Toyol turns around to face me, his expression one of disbelief. “Eden?”
I nod. “Death. I’m the fourth.”
“And the queen. She’s…”
“War,” I answer. “The bombings overseas. She’s the reason.”
“Holy fuck. She did that?”
“It’s not exactly her fault,” Lucifer answers, surprising us all with his honesty. “She can’t control it, just like Lilith can’t. This deadly flu strain that’s circulating is the first plague, and manifests the strongest when she’s near. Gabriella couldn’t stop it either. She had no idea she was the cause of mass destruction.”
“So what’s next? Famine?”
Lucifer nods. “Saskia. The Black Rider.”
Toyol frowns in confusion. “And Saskia is…?”
Lucifer huffs out his reluctance before answering. “Irin’s daughter. I had her in captivity after Irin could no longer control her. And she’s already here.”
Bewildered, Toyol looks to Cain who barks, “She’s here? When the fuck were you going to tell us that?”
“When it became necessary for you to know.” Lucifer opens his palms in mock acquiesce. “Now it’s necessary.”
There’s a growl from the driver’s seat, but Cain fumes silently as he maneuvers the SUV away from the French Quarter.
“Where are we going?” I question as we pass Canal Street.
“Se7en safe house. That’s where Lilith would go,” Cain all but grunts.
“Absolutely not. Take us back to The Saint,” Lucifer commands with a flair of authority.
“Hell no. You know we can’t step foot inside, and there’s no fucking way I’m letting Eden out of my sight. And I’m damn sure not letting her run off with you again. Legion would have my head.”
“If you take Eden to the safe house with Lilith, we’ll all lose our heads. Do you not realize what she is? She’s Death. Meaning, if she’s activated, this world and everything in it will perish. The closer she is to the other three Horsemen, the sooner she will fulfill that destiny.”
“We’ll protect her like we’ve always done.”
“Like you’ve always done? You didn’t even know where she was for nearly a week. And lest you forget, I captured her on the Se7en’s watch. Uriel captured her on the Se7en’s watch. Her sister nearly died…all on the Se7en’s watch. This isn’t your fight anymore, demon. Let the grown ups handle this one.”
I glance up to find Cain looking back at us through the rearview mirror, his glare as black as night. He’s waiting for me…waiting for me to choose. The Se7en, the ones who showed me mercy and compassion when their mission was to kill me, or Lucifer, the ruler of Hell who stole me away from them and damned me to this fate. It should be a no-brainer, yet I’m left with a wave of nausea roiling my gut as I try to determine the best course of action.
“He’s right,” I mutter, conjuring my voice. “Lucifer is right. It’s too risky with us not knowing where Gabriella or Saskia are. If staying with Lucifer is what we have to do to ensure I’m separated from them, then maybe I should do that for now.”
I peer over at Lucifer to find him staring at me, his expression unreadable. Is he surprised that I agreed with him? Or surprised that I chose him over the Se7en?
Cain hisses out a curse then without a word, pops a U-turn, nearly causing a collision. Horns honk behind us as he speeds towards The Saint. I can feel the heat of his fury emanating from the back of his seat.
When we pull up at the hotel, Lucifer hops out without so much as a goodbye. Toyol turns to me before I can open my door.
“Here,” he says, handing me a phone. “Call us if you need us—if you need anything. We’ll find a way to get you out.”
I nod, and reply, “Thank you. But he’s actually been ok. I’ll let you know.”
Cain and Toyol watch intently as I exit the car and join Lucifer’s side at the entrance of the hotel. They still haven’t budged after we’ve entered the lobby. An amused smirk plays across Lucifer’s lips.
“Don’t gloat,” I say when we stop at the elevator. When the doors slide open with a ding! seconds later and we step on, Lucifer has the nerve to look perplexed.
“Gloat? Why would I do that?”
“Because I’m here. And you know they’re pissed about it.”
“And you?”
“What about me?” I frown.
“Are you pissed about being here with me and not with them?”
I make a face, mostly because I don’t know how to answer that question honestly without giving him the wrong idea. Does it make me feel good that the Se7en still are willing to have my back even after I’ve betrayed them? Yes. But am I glad to have Lucifer in my corner, who knows more about the Horsemen than anyone else? Also yes. However, knowing what I know now—remembering what we shared that night after Aurora’s party—I can’t get the images out of my mind. I can’t scrub away the memory of his hands on me, his lips on my body, his hips rocking between my thighs while I raked my fingernails down his back as we moaned in unison.
How do I forget that? How do I forget him? And how can I risk it all to save Legion, the male I proclaim to love, knowing what I’ve done?
You don’t come back from that depth of betrayal. And I can’t erase my actions from my conscious.
We make it to the suite without incident and Lucifer goes straight to the television. I shrug out of my jacket, kick off my shoes, and join him in the sitting area.
“Checking the news for updates?” I ask grabbing the laptop and settling in on the couch.
“Not exactly.”
I Google more info on the food shortage to see how far it has spread. The gulf was hit the hardest, which isn’t surprising, considering the devastation we witnessed today. It’s like Mad Cow on steroids. The plague hasn’t only affected cattle, it’s affected all animals, even domestic ones. From exposure to expiration, there only seems to be a four-hour window. Four hours from infection, a living creature drops dead. It’s unlike anything the country has ever seen, and with the hit we’re taking from Pestilence, the death tolls are astronomical.
“Holy shit. Are you seeing this?”
“Nope.”
I only briefly spare a glance in Lucifer’s direction to find him flipping through the channels. He settles on Pay Per View.
“What are you doing?”
“Finding us something to watch. What are you in the mood for? Comedy? Drama? Porn?” He wiggles his brows playfully.
“What? We’re not watching a movie.”
“Actually, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” He plops down beside me and removes the computer from my lap. “At some point, you’re going to have to realize that this is out of our hands, Eden. You can stress and curse and worry all you want, but what will be will be, no matter how you try to fight fate. You can’t control this. You’re going to be who and what you are. And that’s all right with me. So we’re going to watch a movie. You’re going to shut up about the end of days, The Many, and all other demon and
angel related topics, and you’re going to enjoy it. And when I order up room service and cover this table with whatever fried, fattening foods they can scrounge up, you’re going to stuff your face and wash it down with a cold beer. Got it?”
I’m stunned into silence at his unexpected diatribe, which he must read as acquiescence because he chooses some cheesy romantic comedy. The corny music signaling opening credits begins, and I try like hell not to pay attention. But it only takes a few minutes of seeing the quirky, neurotic female lead stress about some unattainable guy to draw my eye, and sure enough, I’m sucked in. I even remember to laugh at the funny parts. No, not remember. I do so easily, and Lucifer does as well. The character is hopelessly likeable. The thought of being out of work and single seems like the end of the world for her. And for a second, I envy her and her so-called problems. What I wouldn’t give to be back in my old, rundown apartment with Sister, stressing about bills and hating my dead-end job again. I thought my life sucked, but we were healthy and we had each other. We were content with our ordinary, mundane lives.
Lucifer orders room service towards the end of the movie, and sure enough, the kitchen is struggling to keep up with guests’ needs. I want to tell him to just nix the entire plan—how could we possibly take food out of someone’s mouth who actually needs it? But he reminds me that thinking that way is futile. If Famine doesn’t get them, Pestilence will. And if War goes another round on U.S. soil, there won’t be much to save. And if Death…if I’m activated, our world is as good as gone anyway.
We settle on French fries covered in gravy and cheese curds, chicken strips, and the promised beers. While we wait, we finish the flick and Lucifer chooses another—a silly movie that’s so dumb it’s funny. Once the food arrives, we huddle over the coffee table, sipping beer, and gorging on what may be our last supper.
“You don’t have to do this, you know,” I say after swallowing down a mouthful of gravy-smothered fried potato and washing it down with a swig of my bottled brew.
“Do what?”
“This,” I say waving a hand at the junk food then at the TV. “Pretend like this is your thing. Pretend that everything is fine for me. I’m a big girl. I’m not going to fall apart.”