Two days had passed since I woke up and I was getting antsy. I managed to visit Lisa-Marie once they moved her out of ICU. She looked frail and gaunt, which was very unlike her normal jovial self. It was kind of hard to take, but I’d take that over the alternative any day.
Michael hadn’t left my side the whole time. He was being my guardian right up until the end. We hadn’t spoken of that night. I knew I needed to speak with him, but now wasn’t the time. I was hoping he would come home with me when I got discharged so I could reveal to him what he so desperately was asking for.
“How are you feeling?”
Snapping out of my daydream, I looked up into Michael’s sincere eyes. “I just want to go home,” I whined.
Smiling, he gripped my hand. “I can understand that.”
“Good morning, Cassie,” the doctor said, walking up to my bed. Smiling brightly, I caught the mischievous grin on his face. “Eager to get home, I see.”
I nodded, feeling like an excitable dog waiting for her treat.
“Then I shall put you out of your misery. You can go home today, providing you’re not in any pain of which I should be aware.”
Vehemently shaking my head, the doctor smiled. “Okay. I shall write you a prescription, get your discharge papers together, and you can go home. Get ready and I’ll have the nurse bring it to you in a few minutes.”
“Thank you so much for everything, Doctor.”
“Don’t mention it, Cassie. You take care of yourself.”
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as Michael helped me out of bed. I was still a little sore, but I chalked that up to being in bed for so long.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Getting up, I stood in front of Michael. I grabbed him and pulled him in for a hug. It was an instant relief.
“Thank you, Michael. I don’t know how I would have handled everything without you by my side. You are my true guardian.”
Pulling away from our embrace, Michael’s smile grew wide. “It was my pleasure, Cassie. It’s always my pleasure.”
For the briefest of seconds, we stayed like that, our eyes locked in a tender moment. Looking at him in this way made me realise our talk needed to come sooner rather than later. He needed to know how I felt.
Michael’s gaze fell when he realised I needed to get changed. He closed the curtains so I could have some privacy, then pulled some clothes out of a bag. “I didn’t know what to bring, so I just got you some jeans and a jumper to go home in. I hope that’s okay.”
I almost laughed at how sweet Michael was being. He was tending to my every need.
“It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Michael watched as, with great difficulty, I tried to pull my gown off. It was amazing how only having one arm could render me completely helpless.
“Here, let me help you. I promise I won’t look.”
I saw the cheekiness in his smile and it made my heart flutter. It amazed me how much I had missed this side of him.
Once undressed, getting me dressed again was the hardest part for us both. The amount of times Michael brushed against me as he tried pulling my top on or my jeans up was unbelievable. To say it was extremely uncomfortable was an understatement.
“There. I think you’re all set.”
Michael pulled the curtain open and we were greeted by a nurse who handed me my discharge notes, some tablets and gauze. “You can take these four times a day for the pain, and you must redress your wound every day. That’s very important. Also, you have to keep it dry, so bathing might be a little difficult.”
Oh, bloody fantastic!
I politely took all the contents from her hands. “Thank you.”
“Here’s the prescription. You can get the tablets on the first floor. Take care now.”
The nurse was soon gone. They were all very busy on the ward and had other people to tend to. Which reminded me… “I just have to visit Lisa-Marie before we leave.”
Michael nodded as he gathered all my things. “Ready?”
Smiling, I grabbed his arm. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”
We took the stairs down to the next floor where Lisa-Marie had her own room. Just as I expected, Catherine was there with a couple other people.
“Cassie!” Catherine jumped from her seat and came in for an awkward hug. All my hugs were going to be awkward, at least for a little while. “Cassie, these are Lisa-Marie’s parents, Lisa and Trevor.”
They smiled as I came in to shake their hands. Luckily, Michael remembered my gloves, so there was no worry with regards to me seeing anything. “We’ve heard so much about you, Cassie. I’m sorry we haven’t been to visit. It’s just—” Lisa stopped, her voice filled with emotion.
“Don’t worry about that. I completely understand. She’s a very dear friend of mine and I owe her a lot.” I looked over at Lisa-Marie’s pale face, and it made my heart ache. She still looked so ill.
“You don’t owe her anything. It was just an unfortunate incident.” Lisa smiled at me, but I still couldn’t help but feel responsible.
“I still feel awful about what happened. I thought I had lost—” I could feel the tears start to sting my eyes.
Trevor got out of his seat to rest his hand on my arm. “I have every faith she will be okay. She has made it this far and my girl is a fighter.”
I hoped and prayed he was right. She just looked so lost and fragile beneath all those tubes.
“Are you going home today?” Catherine’s sweet voice pulled me from my slumber.
“Yep. I’ve been given the all-clear to go.”
“You look tired. You need to go home and have a proper rest.” I chuckled, thinking that’s all I’d been doing lately. “I’ll call you if anything comes up. I promise.”
I gave Catherine a smile, making sure she had my number before leaving.
“Are you okay?” I felt Michael’s arm around my shoulders, instantly relaxing me.
“I’m fine. I just want to get home and eat pizza.”
Michael raised his eyebrows. “You want pizza?”
“For some reason, I’m craving it after all that hospital food.”
Laughing, Michael squeezed me tighter. “Well, I know just the place to go. I’ve called a taxi to take us back, then I’ll hop on the bike to fetch you that pizza.”
Looking up into Michael’s beautiful blue eyes, I couldn’t help but feel adoration. No matter what, he made sure I was taken care of.
Once we made it back and I was inside my flat, I was immediately overcome by a strange tingling sensation. I looked over to where Lisa-Marie was laying that night and the shudder came unexpectedly.
“It must be hard for you to be back here again after…”
Under different circumstances, watching Michael trying to find the right words would have made me laugh. However, after everything that happened, all I could do was offer him a smile. “It’s fine. I’ll get used to it.”
I should really move, but there were too many good memories here. Memories I certainly refused to taint.
“Shall I go get that pizza for you now? Or would you prefer I stay with you for a while?”
“Michael, I won’t break just because you leave for a few minutes.”
“I know. It’s just—”
“I’m fine—honestly. Your damsel is not in distress today.”
Michael looked at me, a glint in his eye. “Damsel?”
I chuckled, thinking how much Michael loved to dominate everything. To be in control. He always looked at me differently when I was vulnerable. Not that he liked seeing me in distress or anything. I just got the feeling he kind of liked women who needed to be taken care of.
“Yes, Michael. Damsel. I think I’ll be okay.” I walked over and pulled him into my arms. “Thank you for everything. Words can’t describe how much I appreciate you staying with me while I was in the hospital.”
I breathed in his sweet scent and sighed. I didn’t know what it was that made me pull to
wards it so badly.
“You needed me, Cassie. I was never going to leave you.”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded into the crook of his neck. The conversation we needed to have needed to happen quickly. I just didn’t know how I was going to explain myself without coming off all jumpy and nervous. I was nervous as hell about what his reaction would be when I told him. What he would say once I revealed how I truly felt. The decision I made on that fateful night.
“I’m starving,” I said, trying to lighten the mood a little. “I could eat a horse.”
Michael pulled away and smiled. “I can’t get you a horse, but I can certainly get you the best pizza you’ve ever tasted. How does that sound?”
I couldn’t help but lick my lips. Just thinking about that first bite of hot pizza had me salivating.
Michael stared at my lips as I licked them. I could see a certain hunger in his eyes and I didn’t think it was because of the thought of pizza.
With the nerves kicking in, I cleared my throat and stepped away. “It sounds heavenly, Michael.”
He just smiled, grabbed his helmet, and pulled open the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
I nodded and watched as he shut the door with a muffled thud. It was then that I sank down onto the sofa, pulled a cushion to my face, and balled my eyes out.
Chapter 3
Stephen
I’d be damned if I thought I could come back here and everything would be okay. I gave Cassie what she wanted, so why was it that I still felt her calling out to me? Why was it I yearned for her more than I ever had in my entire lifetime? It was painful before, but it was unbearable this time. I chalk it up to the thought that maybe it was just me who couldn’t get over her. I was clinging to her memory as hard as a child held onto their mother when they were frightened. I couldn’t let her go.
I didn’t want to let her go.
I tried my hardest to give her the one thing I knew she really wanted—Michael. I knew I was too late, but I couldn’t help wondering what it was she wanted to talk to me about. I could hear the apprehension and excitement in her voice when she phoned me before everything happened with Kali.
Or should I call her Elizabeth? Oh, how fucked up that was. I couldn’t help thinking back to that time when I betrayed my brother. How much I wanted them to know. How much I wanted Cassie to know. I will never forget the events that unfolded on that fateful day many moons ago. Michael and Cassie didn’t know the half of it. I wish I could tell them, but I had gotten myself in way too deep. Despite what they thought, I did what I did to protect someone. Someone I loved and cared for deeply.
I shivered slightly at the thought they would never know. I kept this secret from them for so long now, it really didn’t make a difference…especially now that I lost Cassie.
My god, I missed her. I missed her long, wavy brown locks brushing against her face as she slept. I missed the way she used to moan my name in her sleep. Geez, how hard I would get at the sound of it. I wanted to wake her and pull her to me, kiss her, make love to her. Cassie never knew of my desire for her. I craved for her day and night. Under the cover of darkness, I used to follow her to make sure she was safe. She was the air I breathed, my unspoken words—my everything.
I can’t help but wonder what she was doing right now. I knew I could be there for her if she wanted me to be. All she would have to do was call my name and I would be there in spirit. I could feel her pain, and it killed me to know she was suffering.
Why is she suffering? What could she possibly be in pain over now?
God, I’m such a dick. She not only lost the best friend she had known her whole life, she found out she was just using her the whole time. Of course she would be in pain. Of course she would be suffering. I just hoped Michael would be there to comfort and protect her.
He would, of course. Michael loved to protect. It had been hard-wired into him ever since he was a little boy. Always wanting to salvage, always wanting to take charge and shield the ones he loved.
I wanted to shield Cassie. I wanted her more than anything in the world. But, most of all, I wanted her to be happy. If giving up my own happiness made her truly happy, who was I to get in the way? It would be selfish of me to be there and toy with her feelings the way I knew I was. That was why I had to let her go.
All I knew now was I had to treasure all the happy memories I took with me.
Oh, her hot chocolate. My goodness, I could taste it now. I wasn’t sure if it was the way she made it, or it naturally tasted like that. All I know was that I was hooked on the stuff, and craved a cup of it right now—made by the woman I would love forever.
“Son, why are you looking so sad?” The words made me jump. I was so lost in thought, I didn’t realise my father had entered the room.
Looking up, I saw concern on his face. I had been here a while now and my mother and father were ecstatic I was finally home. They opened their arms to me without judgment, without criticism. I was pleasantly shocked by their acceptance. Despite what I had done to Michael, they still held me in high regard.
“It’s nothing, Father. I’m just lost in thought.”
My father grabbed my shoulder and held my stare. “You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?”
Was I that transparent? Was I so miserably in love, it was written all over my face? I suppose it was. I was in too much pain to care.
“I don’t know why, but I feel her, Father. I feel her anguish.”
Sighing, my father took a seat beside me. “You know, Archangel Gabriel would never approve of this, Alexander.”
I smiled at my father using my given name. “You still determined to call me Alexander?”
He shook his head, frowning. “That was the name given to you, Alexander. You are not the outcast anymore. You deserve to have your real name back, especially after what you did for the one you love. That truly does make you great.”
I shook my head. “I prefer Stephen, Father.”
My father raised his eyebrow. “Why would that be?”
I smiled, remembering what Cassie said. “Because she prefers it.”
My father sighed. “That is in the past now. You have to move on and treasure everything you’ve done. You’ve done so much to make it right, Alexander. Cling to that.”
I felt my aching heart accelerate that much more. “Then why is it I feel so bad?” I whispered.
My father pondered before replying, “You have to see it this way. You truly made for all the wrong you did to Michael. You have given him a precious gift. It would seem he loves Cassie and, in turn, you have given her the one precious gift she obviously desires. You should be happy. Archangel Gabriel is certainly happy with the match.”
I cringed, thinking how much I wanted to shout out how much I loved his daughter. How much I could give to her if only they would let me. If only Cassie would let me.
Despite my pain, I smiled. “You’re right, of course. Cassie has finally found the love she’s been searching for. I’m happy for them both.”
Chapter 4
Before Michael got back, I awkwardly washed my face as quickly as I could. It felt good to get it out of my system. I still felt it, though. I felt the gripping agony within me. I felt like my whole life had ended. Why? Why did I feel this aching need, this truly gut-wrenching, pulsating notion that I was missing something important—something life-changing?
A knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts. It must be Michael with the pizza.
With a sigh and a shake of my head, I rose to answer the door. I was pleasantly surprised to see Simon. “Simon, so good to see you.” Without thinking, I came in for a hug.
He stiffened a little, then chuckled in my hair. “Well, that was quite the welcome if I ever had one.”
“I’m just happy to see you. I didn’t see you yesterday.” I motioned for Simon to come in, then set about putting the kettle on. We British liked to make tea. It was the only polite thing to do.
“Ye
s. Sorry I never came. Things have been a little busy lately.”
I saw the sadness in his eyes so I waved my hands towards the sofa. “Tell me what’s been happening.”
Simon sat, chuckling to himself. “Nothing gets past you, does it? I don’t want to bother you with all my problems, Cassie. You’ve been through enough.”
Shaking my head, I adjusted slightly in my seat. “You don’t understand how much I need a distraction right now, Simon. If nothing else, I really need to have my mind focused. Otherwise, I think I’ll go mad.”
Simon smiled, almost grabbing my hand before stopping himself, wincing. “Sorry. I keep forgetting. I can understand how you feel about keeping your mind occupied—in more ways than one.”
“So tell me what’s on your mind.”
Sighing, Simon closed his eyes. “It’s Justin Merryfield.”
“What about him?”
“Well, we’ve been delving into his past and nothing adds up. You see, someone like him should have priors for something like this. I’m not talking about abducting young girls, but a history of some sort. He has no sexual priors, no indecent assaults, no history of any kind. It’s just…weird. He was a little timid and a little quiet in school, but was a great student. His work colleagues don’t understand how he could have done this. He was always polite, hard-working, and extremely diligent. I can’t understand it.”
Turning my head, I pursed my lips in thought. It did seem a bit odd. You would think there would be something, even if it was the tiniest hint of something out of the ordinary. It made me wonder. If Simon wouldn’t let me see his sister, then maybe he...
“Let me see him.” The words were out of my mouth before I even registered them. What am I getting myself into?
Simon’s bewildered stare held mine. “Cassie, that is not a good—”
“Let me see him somewhere comfortable—somewhere quiet. Maybe he will feel relaxed enough to open up to me. If not, there is always the alternative.”
I looked up at Simon with an amused smile. He needed answers and, right now, I needed to give him those answers. I needed something to take my mind off everything that happened.