No! No! No! Not again.
“Josh, pl—”
“Ashlyn, this isn’t up for discussion. He fucked with something that is important to me, and I will not tolerate that, especially when it comes to you. He put fear in your eyes, and that pisses me off. I am barely containing how fucking angry I am, because you don’t need to witness that, but I will be having words with him.”
“Okay, Tarzan,” I whispered, deciding that there was no point in arguing with him. He had his mind set, and I was quickly learning that when Josh decided on something, nothing or no one had the ability to change his mind.
Eight hours later, I woke to the sound of thunder and the feeling of comforting warmth against my back. With heavy eyes, I looked around the space and found my bedroom. I had no recollection of coming to bed. When my senses shot to life, I felt a pressure over my stomach. My hand was resting over Josh’s arm, which lay over my stomach. His fingertips had crept up the bottom of my tank top and caressed my skin. We were officially spooning, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling at that thought.
Josh’s arm tightened around my waist and pulled me closer to his body, and I gasped as his morning erection dug into my ass.
“Morning, Ashy,” he mumbled against the back of my head, his voice thick with sleep. “Fuck, you are the best spooning partner.”
“I have no clue how I got to bed,” I whispered, trying desperately to ignore his cock, which was making itself very well-known, and my needy heat.
“I carried you.”
“What?” I shrieked, and attempted to roll to my back, but my efforts were halted. My concentration was entirely on his fingers that were now tracing the top of my panties. Holy shit, did he undress me? “Why am I only wearing my panties?”
“You passed out on the couch just after midnight, so I brought you to bed. I took off your sweat pants, and then we went to sleep. I didn’t touch you, if that’s what you are wondering.”
“I wasn’t thinking you did.”
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t want too, though.”
My eyes fluttered shut as his fingers traced over my now highly-alert skin. My breathing changed from calm to completely ragged. All he was doing sweeping my stomach with soft strokes, and I was on the brink of panting. His effect on me was out of this world, and I was like his unsuspecting prey.
“So these rules you have stipulated . . . you said no sex?” he asked, and his breath danced over my ear as he spoke.
“Hmm.”
“What about touching? Kissing? Are they included in your silly rules?”
“They aren’t sil—” My ability to put two words together disappeared, and my need to remind him why I came up with the rules to begin with was nowhere to be found. That’s what his tongue hitting the skin near my ear did. It caused me to lose all sense of reason. Having Josh in my bed and it being so intimate did something to my body that I couldn’t explain. I wanted more of this. Waking up beside him was irresistible. Having his hands on my body and his lips devouring me was exceptionally delightful.
I twisted in his arms until we were almost chest to chest. His hand moved to rest just near my ass.
“I can’t stop thinking about the other night,” he whispered heatedly. His eyes were like pools of chocolate delight gazing longingly back at me, and I felt myself slipping under at a fast rate. “I’m trying really fucking hard to behave, but you make it incredibly hard, Ashy.”
“Are you calling me a tease, Joshua Crawford?” I asked softly, knowing full well that I was encouraging him.
Josh’s eyes darkened, and he bit that perfect bottom lip. I knew that look. I had witnessed it just a few nights ago, and I knew what it meant and where it would lead if I didn’t get control of it.
“It would be so easy for me to push your panties aside and slide into your pussy.”
Please do. Forget the rules. Fuck the rules. Shut up, Ashlyn. Keep your god damn legs closed.
The battle between my brain and my body had officially begun.
“And you call me impossible,” I said with a short laugh. My eyes found his mouth, and all I wanted to do was lean in and nibble on his bottom lip.
“If you don’t stop looking at my mouth, I’m going to start kissing you.”
I wanted him to kiss me. I’d have to make a change to the rules. No sex, but kissing was allowed. His threat of kissing me only encouraged me. My tongue darted out and moistened my lips, and the groan of frustration I heard from Josh hauled me closer to his body. My arms went over his waist, and I sighed in delight as his erection pressed against my needy heat.
“Ashy, I swear to fuc—”
My desperate mouth smashed to his, and his reaction was immediate. He hurled my body flush against his. Our lips simultaneously parted, and our tongues frantically caressed one another. This was perfection, like getting lost in a wondrous fantasy. His hands slipped into the back of my panties, and his fingers dug into my flesh as he rolled onto his back until I lay on top of him.
“That’s better,” he murmured against my swollen lips. “What about your rules?”
Stupid rules!
“Sshhh, I need to kiss you,” I whispered.
Breathlessly, he pulled his mouth from mine, and the smile that covered his face was like looking at a newly-discovered diamond: awe-inspiring, precious, and a once-in-a-lifetime experience. We lay there, me on top of him, our legs in a twisted mess, both breathing heavily, and I could have stayed there forever.
Silence fell between us, although I had so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to tell him that he could do whatever he wanted to me. That my body was his, but I had to keep my heart. My fears were lessoning when it came to Josh, because now they revolved entirely around the thought of losing control of my heart. My mind was no longer screaming at me to stay away, there were no more warnings. My heart was slowly showing itself to him, and that’s where my fear lived. There was no way I’d survive heartbreak at the hands of Josh Crawford.
“Kiss me,” I begged in a whisper. The invitation was received, and his lips pressed into mine. There was a featherlike softness to his kiss, as if he was testing the waters to make sure I wasn’t about to turn around and tell him to stop. With a soft sweep of his tongue, I opened my mouth as a shiver of delight shot down my spine. My body was immediately swamped with intimate heat.
“It’s your turn to lead, Ashy. Use me how you want,” he said, while leaving delicate kisses.
Heat flooded my panties at the thought of Josh being any form of submissive. There was no way he would relent for long, so I needed to use it to my advantage. I leaned down and tugged his bottom lip between my teeth. As he groaned my name under the sensation, his fingers dug possessively into my ass in a blatant sign of ownership.
The moment I released his bottom lip from my teeth, the Josh I knew and lusted after appeared. Gone was the softness of his earlier kiss; we were now building something that was out of this world. This kiss couldn’t compare to the kisses we’d shared before. This was a first time kind of kiss, a kiss that should be privileged and treasured. It was like learning to kiss all over again.
It was his turn to bite my lip. He pulled it out and let it go with a sharp pop. I cried out at the slight throbbing, but even with the tiny stabs of pain, I felt myself quickly wanting more. With soft sweeps, his tongue traced my lip, gliding over and taking away the soft pain from his attack. My needy mouth opened in a gasp, and his tongue found mine. My hips pressed down, grinding into his erection, which offered me the briefest of relief. Dry humping first thing in the morning was now one of my favorite things in the world. His fingers dug into the flesh of my bottom as my tongue swirled with his.
My fingers ran through his hair before I moved one of my hands down the side of his naked torso and found the cotton of his boxer briefs. All inhibitions and sense of reason had flown out the window, and all I wanted was his mouth, his cock, and the pleasure and relief I knew I’d get. I didn’t want to think of consequences or the f
ear of getting my heart broken by this man, all I wanted was the now and what he was offering.
“You said I can do whatever I want. Is that still true?” I hummed against his throat.
Josh groaned under the sensation, and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.
“You could tell me to fuck another man right now, and I’d do it.”
Our kiss became frantic, and our movements pure insanity. I couldn’t get close enough, and my desperation soared. I groaned as his lips left mine and traveled along my jaw until he hit the confines of my neck. The sensation of his lips, his tongue, and his teeth combining to unleash torment onto my sensitive skin caused me to cry out.
I reached for his boxer briefs and slid my hand inside until I found his cock. He groaned into the kiss as I stroked his erection with a strong hand and ran my thumb over the tip.
“Christ, fuck, Ashy.” His mouth moved from mine as he gasped for air and his eyes slammed shut.
I concentrated on his face as I increased my stroke and rubbed my thumb through his pre-come. His face was fascinating to watch. The faster I stroked and pumped, the more his jaw ticked, and when I glided over his sensitive tip or cupped his balls, he would bite his bottom lip.
“I want you to look at me when you come,” I whispered into his ear with seduction dripping from my every word. I nipped his lobe with my teeth and felt the first intense throb of his cock, telling me that he was close. “Do you like when I bite you?”
“Fuck,” he growled as his eyes flew open and heat stared back at me. “Make me come.”
I squeezed harder and increased my pace, while never breaking our gaze. The faster I stroked, the hotter his eyes turned. I felt like I could explode from watching him come undone, but right now it was all about him.
With a curse and a moan of my name, Josh stared at me as he unloaded his warm seed in my hand, and I felt like a goddess making a king fall at her knees.
“Holy shit,” he murmured, and I watched as his stomach muscles continued to clench. “Thank fuck for breaking rules.”
“Just call me Ashlyn, ‘The rule breaker,’ Hart.”
“You can break the rules with me any day, Ashy.” He smiled, before leaning over and pulling out a couple of tissues from the tissue box I always left beside my bed. With careful movements, he grabbed my hand and cleaned off his release.
“Thank you for yesterday and last night,” I whispered, as the intimacy of everything that had just occurred hit me.
“You never have to thank me, Ashy. I will always protect what’s mine.”
Mine.
AFTER ASHLYN GAVE ME the best hand job of my life, we both decided to blow off work for the day and spend most of it lazing around her apartment, watching movies, and staying out of the rain. There had been no awkwardness between us, but Ashlyn was still skittish to the point that I found her gazing into nothingness several times. Lachlan was still tainting her thoughts, and it pissed me off that he had that control. The thoughts of finding and disposing of him were seething just below the surface, but my first priority was Ashlyn.
Always.
The flowers were disposed of as soon as she went to have a shower, and the smile I received when she returned told me she’d noticed. We never kissed or intimately touched, but she did lay with her head in my lap, and I played with her hair until she fell asleep. I spent an hour watching her sleep, instead of watching the movie I had chosen. With only the candlelight illuminating her features, she looked like a delicate angel. Peaceful Ashlyn was my favorite kind of Ashlyn. I loved her sass, her no-bullshit attitude, and her ability to render me speechless. Fuck, she was the hottest woman I’d ever laid eyes on, but peaceful, unguarded, sweatpants-wearing Ashlyn was my favorite. There were often moments when I’d catch a glimpse of the girl that I first saw in the library when I was nineteen, and I still felt the squeeze of my heart when she would appear. The nervousness, the quick wit, and the awkwardness never left, and I hoped to Christ it never would.
I left her that night with a kiss on the cheek, and made her promise to call me if she needed me. It was a pretty perfect day, and it started with the best morning I’d had in a long time.
“You seem very distracted these days.”
Eden sat across from me, her nails tapping the top of my desk, and her gaze locked on me as she tried to get inside my head. You couldn’t put anything past her. She was like a bloodhound sniffing out everything that shouldn’t be found. I met up with her and Ky for breakfast, and she followed me into my office with the excuse that she needed to run something by me for the upcoming cover she was shooting.
“Work’s busy at the moment.”
“This is different from work busy.”
“You have different rankings for how busy I am?” I laughed before lifting my coffee to my mouth and sipping on my fresh brew.
A smirk flittered over her lips, and I knew then that she was about to start the interrogation. “Of course I have different Josh rankings. There is work busy, women busy, family busy, gym busy—I know a lot about you, Josh Crawford.”
Fuck, she was hilarious. “If I didn’t love you, I’d think you were a nutter.”
She scoffed before raising a brow and incredulously asking, “So, who is she?”
The sip of coffee I had just taken came flying back up my throat, and I coughed in discomfort as Eden’s prying question hit me. Was I really so obvious that Eden had seen a change in me? Ashlyn and I were . . . what were we? My intentions did not involve being friends with benefits. She wasn’t random pussy that I’d have when I needed relief, and she wasn’t a distraction. She deserved more than that. She was everything I wanted, and I’d spend the rest of my life making her see that.
“I knew it,” she stated with glee and clapped her hands excitedly. My silence was obviously the only answer she needed. “Is it Jessica from accounts?”
Shit, here we go. “What? No!”
Her brow pulled, and I was sure her mind was sorting through all of the women working for Anderson Publications. This interrogation was going to be horrendous, but I knew she wouldn’t stop.
“Sophie from Marketing? I’ve seen the way you two flirt. I’m surprised someone hasn’t walked in on you two going at it in the supply room.”
Little did Eden know that Sophie and I already had a night together a few months ago when we were on location for a cover shoot. This, however, was information Eden didn’t need.
“I’ve never been in the supply room with anyone that doesn’t mean something to me, Eden.” The thought of the supply room sent an unstoppable smirk to my lips as memories of pulling Ashlyn in there hit me.
Her eyes shot wide, and I swear she was on the brink of hyperventilating. “So there is someone! You wouldn’t say that if there wasn’t. This is going to kill me. Just tell me and I’ll leave you alone.”
Like hell she would.
A soft knock came from my closed office door and I silently thanked whoever it was for interrupting Eden’s interrogation. Slowly, the door opened and Ashlyn stepped through.
“Ash, just the girl I need. You will be able to help me,” Eden’s excited voice announced as she rushed across my office, grabbed Ashlyn’s hands, and dragged her in.
Fuck no! No way was this conversation happening.
“What are you two talking about?” Ashlyn asked with an amused laugh.
“I’m trying to work out who Josh is sleeping with. I’ve decided that he is woman busy, but he won’t tell me a thing. It’s not Jessica from accounts and, even though he flirts like crazy with Sophie from Marketing, he says it’s not her. Do you know? You two have been spending a lot of time together lately, so I thought you might know?”
This could not be happening. I had to have stepped into an alternative world, because there was no way my brother’s fiancé was telling the woman I was trying to make mine, and who had been sharing her body with me, about the other women I was supposedly fucking. Ashlyn’s eyes flashed immediately to mine as if trying to work
out what to say, while Eden looked on eagerly.
“Oh wait, it has to be Leah in advertising. She is brunette, skinny, has big boobs, and is breathing. Totally your type.” Eden smirked, and held her hand up for Ashlyn to high five, which she slowly did.
Fuck my life. Where was a shotgun to put me out my misery?
She had completely lost her mind. Although with the past I had, it wasn’t that far from what would have been truth. But not anymore. The familiar ring tone of Eden’s phone sounded, and by the smile that crossed her face, I knew it was Ky.
With a moment of reprieve, I chanced a glance to Ashlyn, who I found staring back at me. Moving toward her, I knew my intentions, and I was going to make them clear.
“I’m not fucking anyone,” I whispered, dropping my mouth to her ear, and not caring where I was or about the potential of being heard by Eden. The strongest urge to drown whatever was swimming through her pretty head hit me full force.
“You mean you aren’t fucking anyone besides me?”
“That whole conversation, w—”
“You’ve never had to explain yourself before, so you don’t have to explain yourself now. I’ve been around those kinds of conversations plenty of times, and I’m sure this won’t be the last.”
“You’re kidding, right?” I asked forcefully.
She shook her head, but I couldn’t ignore the hesitation that crossed her green eyes. She didn’t believe a single word she was saying, so why try forcing that bullshit on me. She didn’t want to be a part of that conversation as much as I didn’t want to experience it again.
“What are you kidding about?” Eden piped up, and it was only then that I remembered we had company.
“I just asked if it was Lauren,” Ashlyn said with a convincing laugh.
“Oh my god, Ky would rip your balls off if you went anywhere near Lauren. He is almost as protective of Lauren as he is you, Ash. Okay, that’s going a bit far. I’d say Ky was about fifty percent as protective of Lauren as he is of you, and that’s saying something. I fear for the next guy you date, Ash. Ky is going to be like an overprotective father, big brother, and crazy uncle all in one.”