“I’m sorry,” he said. “You’re right. Everything you just said is true, but I don’t act this way intentionally. Sometimes I can’t help it.”
I felt a twinge of guilt. I knew he had personal problems that made it difficult for him to be reliable, but I didn’t completely understand them yet. It was hard to understand someone you could hardly get in touch with over the phone, never mind sit down and delve into sensitive issues. I eyed him warily. “Do you really mean that, or are you agreeing with me for the sake of peace?”
“No. People only like me because I’m pretty. I believe you.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” I sighed.
His thumb swiped over my bottom lip and I trembled. His voice lowered to a whisper. “What did you mean then, Reya?”
“I mean, people don’t expect you to do certain things because of your looks and your charisma. They’re just happy to be around you. And that’s not your fault. It’s theirs for being shallow. I’m trying not to be shallow, too.”
Trev started to smile as he bent and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “That’s why I love you,” he whispered, and for a second time stood completely still. “You’re the most honest person I know.”
I pulled back and stared up at him, tiny acrobats doing backflips inside my chest. “What did you just say?”
Eight.
The apartment was amazing. It was a penthouse and the balcony looked out over a large market square. And don’t even get me started on the architecture. Absolutely beautiful.
There was a frenzy of activity as everyone got settled in their respective rooms. I hadn’t a chance to check out the one I was sharing with Leanne yet, because Neil and I were too busy making various arrangements for the upcoming days. Although at times, I felt a bit superfluous, like I was fumbling in the dark and just slowing him down. At least he was a patient sort. Anyway, I was determined to learn the ropes quickly and actually be of some use.
I’d rounded the corner leading to the main bathroom when I overheard voices coming from Trev and Callum’s room.
“Just try and be a bit nicer, yeah? I know Leanne looks tough, but that’s only because she hides what she’s really feeling. When you say shit like you did earlier, it upsets her,” said Trev.
“But she looks at me with a face like thunder every single day. She’s nice to everyone but me. She talks to everyone but me,” Callum argued. “How do you expect me to deal with that shit?”
“Aw, does it hurt your delicate feelings, puddin’?” Trev teased, and I heart a grunt from Callum.
“Piss off.”
Trev chuckled before his voice sobered. “In all seriousness though, I thought you two made up. Now things seem even worse than before.”
“It’s not like the truce was optional,” Callum replied. “Barry said that if we didn’t kiss and make up we’d be kicked off the show. We didn’t have another choice.”
Barry was their director. He was a middle-aged guy I’d spotted around throughout the day. He was either staying in one of the other apartments with the camera crew, or he was at a hotel.
“So, you two didn’t even talk things out? You just shook hands, promised to play nice and that was it?”
“Pretty much.”
Trev swore under his breath. “You’re going to have to talk to her. When we head out for dinner tonight, maybe take her aside and clear the air. As soon as we start filming the cameras will pick up on the tension, even if you think you’re doing a good job of hiding it.”
Knowing it was bad to eavesdrop, I quietly continued to the bathroom. I had to admit though, I was surprised by Trev’s maturity. I’d never known him to be the peacekeeping type. In fact, he’d always been one of those people who craved chaos.
I shut the door to the large bathroom and went about my business. I’d be sharing this space with several other people for the next few days, which would be an experience. James and Paul’s room had an en-suite, but the rest of us were stuck sharing this one. Don’t get me wrong, it was big enough, with a large walk-in shower and separate tub, but I was used to having my privacy.
In fact, it was going to be a challenge being around people twenty-four/seven in general. I’d lived alone for years, and I often found I needed time on my own to recharge after being around others for prolonged periods. Needless to say, the next few weeks would be a learning curve.
When I came back out, everyone had gathered in the communal kitchen and living area. I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and went to wash it under the tap as they discussed dinner arrangements.
“There are a few steakhouses nearby if that’s what everyone’s in the mood for,” said Neil, scrolling on his phone.
“What about night clubs?” Callum asked. “I think we should go out afterwards. Tomorrow’s our only day off for a while so we should make the most of it.”
“I’ll do a search,” said Neil, not looking up from his phone.
Trev came over as I took a seat by the counter and bit into the apple, leaving the others to continue their discussion.
“Hey, you okay for steak?” he asked, eyes wandering over me.
I tugged on the hem of my top and swallowed a bite of apple. “Actually, I think I’ll just stay in. I’m tired.”
He nodded, not taking his attention off me. “You want me to stay with you?”
I waved him away. “Nah, I’ll be fine. I’m in the mood for an early night.”
Something passed behind his eyes. Disappointment? “Okay, well, let me know if you change your mind. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”
He disappeared around the corner leading to the bedrooms and I exhaled a breath. When I looked across the room I noticed Leanne studying me, her brows drawn.
“I’m calling a taxi,” said Neil and they all dispersed to go get ready.
I slid off my stool and went out onto the balcony. Cool night air kissed my skin and I closed my eyes for a second, listening to the low hum of people and traffic down on the street. Voices trickled out and I froze. Having left the door open, I could hear Leanne and Callum’s private conversation. It seemed eavesdropping was becoming an unexpected pastime of mine. Though given there were seven of us all in one apartment, it was going to be unavoidable.
“Can we talk a minute?” Callum asked. I stared out over the city at the stars dotting the skyline. I wanted to shut the door, but I knew it’d look too obvious. Plus, I was curious. Okay, nosy was probably the more appropriate word.
“About what?” Leanne asked back, her voice hard.
“Jesus. You always have to use that tone.” Callum swore and there was something about how he spoke that sounded different. Maybe it was because they were alone, but his usual cocksure attitude was gone.
“What do you want, Cal?” I could just imagine her folding her arms.
“I’m sick of this bullshit between us. We’ve both had our fair share of pain, and I think it’s enough now. I want to call a truce, a real one this time.”
There was a long silence. Leanne was probably trying to figure out if he was being genuine.
“You’re the one who starts it every time. I only react to the crap that comes out of your mouth.”
“Well, I’ll try not to talk so much crap then.”
Neither one of them spoke, and it was so quiet I started to wonder if they’d left. But then Leanne said, “I know we always used to give each other shit, but it was friendly jibing. What happened to make you suddenly hate me?”
“You know what happened.” His voice cracked a little.
I heard Leanne sigh. “That’s not what I meant, I just meant—”
There was some shuffling, then, “I don’t fucking hate you.”
More shuffling. It made me so curious that I turned and peeked inside on instinct. Callum had his hand on Leanne’s neck. He slid it up so that he was cupping her cheek and I had to hold in a gasp. Wow. That definitely wasn’t what I expected to see.
He lifted his other hand and cupped the
other side of her neck. He was looking at her so intensely I had to turn away. It felt like I was encroaching on an extremely private moment.
“I could never fucking hate you,” he said on a raspy exhale, and that was the last I heard. I moved farther onto the balcony and sat down on a deck chair. My mind raced, wondering if they were in there kissing right now, or tearing each other’s clothes off. The chemistry between them was off the charts. I’d seen glimpses of it on the show, but that was nothing compared to real life.
I ate my apple and soaked up the night view until someone stepped out to join me. I suspected it was Trev before I saw him. He sat next to me and I allowed myself a glance. It looked like he’d taken a quick shower and had put on a nice shirt with a pair of designer-looking jeans.
“Out to impress tonight, are we?” I asked teasingly.
He grinned, his eyes alight. “I’m always out to impress. You change your mind about coming?”
“No, I’ll just make something to eat here. I really am exhausted.” Trev seemed to respect my answer and a quiet moment passed before I went on, “I heard you talking to Callum earlier.”
“Yeah?”
“When you were telling him he should be nicer to Leanne. That was kind of you.”
“You asked me to do it.”
“I know, but you didn’t have to.”
Something in his expression intensified. “I’d do just about anything you asked of me, Reya.”
I thought that was an odd thing to say, and it made my belly twist with an unwelcome longing. I pushed it back and gave him a curious look. “Okay.”
Trev laughed softly. “I’m freaking you out, aren’t I?”
“A little,” I admitted.
He looked out onto the city. “Sorry. I’ve just missed you. I still can’t believe you decided to come. I’m fucking happy you’re here.”
“Why?” I asked, because I genuinely wanted to know. He’d gone more than two years without me, never once seeking me out. If he missed me so much, why hadn’t he tried making contact?
He didn’t hesitate to answer. “Because you’re the best friend I’ve ever had, and losing you is my biggest regret, the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
I was speechless. Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he’d wanted to make contact but was afraid I’d shut him out again. Was it possible that he’d dialled my number countless times but never built up the courage hit ‘call’? It seemed so unlike him. When we were friends he did everything on impulse. He never stopped to think about the possibility of rejection, to weigh the pros and cons. He just acted.
“You’ve changed,” I breathed. I felt so discombobulated.
“Is that a good thing?” he asked.
“You’re like a proper grown-up now,” I said, ignoring his question and he laughed again.
“As compared to . . .”
I chuckled. “As compared to the chaotic, Peter Pan man-boy you were before.”
His smile was wide. “Hey, I wasn’t that bad.”
“No, you weren’t bad at all. You were just different. Like I said, you’ve changed.”
“You have, too.”
This surprised me. “I have?”
He reached out and gently caressed my cheek. “You look at me different. I’m not too sure I like it.”
“Oh, you mean I don’t have all those stars in my eyes anymore?” I asked with a wry grin.
Trev shrugged, still smiling. “Maybe. I liked it when you used to look at me like I was the greatest person in the whole world. I used to live for those looks.”
I narrowed my gaze. “You’re lying.”
“I’m not. Those big, innocent brown eyes of yours were so transparent. You were obsessed with me.”
His comment made me self-conscious. “I wasn’t obsessed.” I was.
He nudged me with his elbow. “Come on, you know it’s true. Besides, I was obsessed with you, too. I was just better at hiding it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Now I know you’re lying.”
“Reya, I’m not lying,” he said, turning to face me head-on, daring me to challenge his assertion.
“How long?”
“How long what?”
I swallowed down the knot in my throat. “How long did you feel that way?”
He didn’t answer for several seconds. Instead his gaze wandered over my cheeks, down my nose, resting on my lips before moving back up to my eyes. “Since the night I first saw you perform.”
I let out a loud, disbelieving laugh. “You’re full of shit.”
One eyebrow rose. “Wanna bet?”
“Sure, because I know I’ll win. You couldn’t have cared less about me that night. I was a momentary bit of entertainment.”
His expression was self-recriminating, like he felt guilty for giving me that impression, and I had to look away. There was too much affection in his gaze. Too many silent apologies. A second later the door opened and James poked his head out.
“Trev, the taxi’s here. You ready?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.”
James left and we were alone again. I stared straight ahead. The wind blew through my hair and Trev lifted a strand between his fingers. I didn’t move a muscle. When he spoke his voice was low, fervent. “One thing you never realised about me, Reya: I’ve got an incredible poker face. I can make it seem like I don’t care when I care too much. I can make it seem like I’m not paying attention when I’m really watching your every move. I know. Because that’s what I used to do.”
I swallowed and he stood, moving to the glass door. “We’ll be gone a couple hours. Text me if you need anything.”
I only nodded and then he went. My heart raced. I lifted my hand to my chest, willing it to slow down, but it was no use. What Trev said had me scrambling through old memories, looking at them for clues to the truth.
Had he really been as besotted with me as I was with him?
Nine.
When I heard everyone leave, I went back inside the empty apartment. I felt exhausted before I spoke to Trev, but now I was wide awake. Buzzed. He had a knack for getting me all worked up like that.
I walked around, ducking my head in each room, searching for a distraction. When I came up empty I went into the room I shared with Leanne and pulled my keyboard from its case. I messed around with a song I was working on, trying out lyrics to see which ones fit the melody.
I lost track of time as I ran through song after song, figuring out a set list for Wednesday night. I was excited. This would be my first time playing a gig outside of the U.K. I wondered about the people who might come to see me play. What would they think of my songs? Would my lyrics touch them somehow? Mean something?
I wasn’t sure why, but it always felt so important to get people to emote. I wanted to know they felt how I felt. I wanted to reach them in a real and powerful way. Sometimes I wished for my words to reach thousands, even hundreds of thousands, but the only way to do that was to become famous, and my introverted nature wholly rejected the idea. Not that fame would be so easy to achieve anyway. I was content playing my obscure little shows every week, so long as I had enough money to put food on the table.
After a while I curled up in bed and scribbled down lyrics until I fell asleep with my face flat on the paper. I woke to the sound of voices and a heavy bladder. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and went to use the bathroom.
I tried doing my business and sneaking back to bed unnoticed but it wasn’t to be. Before I reached my door, Paul came down the hallway, a friendly smile in place.
“Reya, we missed you at dinner. We’re having drinks in the living room if you want to come join us?”
I tugged my cardigan tighter over my shoulders and glanced by him down the hallway. I could hear female voices. They must’ve gone to a club like Callum wanted and invited some girls back. That definitely wasn’t something I wanted any part in, especially not if Trev was ‘romancing’ one of them. And especially not in my uber-sexy leggings, T-shirt an
d cardigan ensemble.
“I don’t think—”
Before I could finish my sentence, Paul grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the action. My heart hammered as he slid his fingers through mine and gave a squeeze. I glanced at him and there was something in his eyes that made me suspect he knew how I felt and empathised. But if that were true, then why was he pulling me into the lion’s den?
Paul led me over to sit on one of the couches next to James. Callum was on the other couch, an attractive brunette on one side of him and Leanne and Neil on the other. Leanne was deep in conversation with Neil, but I wondered if she was simply trying to ignore Callum and the girl he was with.
There was a small love seat where two other girls sat, both attractive and wearing skimpy outfits. And both of them were eyeing Trev like a prized cut of beef, or you know, a prized hook-up. He stood by the door leading out to the balcony, talking on the phone. His eyes met mine for a brief second, his attention going to Paul’s hand on mine. On instinct I let go, drawing my hand into my lap. A deep frown marred his features.
“Reya, you should’ve come out with us. You missed a great night,” Callum said jovially as the brunette ran a seductive hand across his chest.
“Looks like the night isn’t over yet,” I remarked.
He grinned, tipping a glass of whiskey to his lips and murmuring lasciviously, “With a bit of luck.”
Leanne appeared to stiffen, like she was listening to Callum’s every word while continuing to chat with Neil.
“How was the restaurant?” I asked, changing the subject. I didn’t want to indulge whatever game Callum was playing this time. In truth, his behaviour galled me, especially considering the conversation I overheard between him and Leanne earlier. There was obviously something between them and he was flaunting a potential one-night stand in her face. It was a dirty tactic, cruel, and I didn’t like people who sunk to such low levels.
“Fantastic,” James answered. “Best meal I’ve had in ages.”