Jaxen sighs heavily, like he knows too many truths. “Sometimes, hate is all you have to hold on to, Faye. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that can keep a person going when everyone and everything else has let you down time and time again.”
Once we pass through the sliding doors, my eyes find Weldon’s. He’s leaning against a wall, wearing a grimace that could kill on the spot. There’s so much pain in his eyes. So much weight that seeks a place to finally rest.
I want to hug him. I want to fix all the wrongs he’s faced.
He joins the rest of us after Clara passes by him, pretending like she doesn’t know he’s standing there.
“Being in shape is a major requirement as an Elite. You’re all physically fit, but you must maintain that,” Clara says. “You’re required to spend a minimum of one hour in the gym every day, which is located on the eighth floor in this building. Your appearance there will be logged by your badge.” She walks us into an elevator made of glass and pushes the button for the first floor.
“You’ll be taking different classes every day until it’s time for the mission. Classes such as Tactical Thinking, Advanced Weaponry, Supernatural Communications, Advanced Defense… things of that nature.”
The door slides open to the first floor. The hallway is busy with Elites in training walking in and out of doors. Early morning chatter fills the gaps between us. People in lab coats and men in ranked uniforms shuffle by, rushing to their classes.
“All first-level Elites train here. This floor is where all of you, save Faye, will be trained.”
My eyes jerk to hers.
“What do you mean—except for Faye?” Jaxen asks, his entire body going stiff.
“I mean, I will oversee her training personally, and the rest of you will train with the other first-level Elites,” she says rather calmly, precisely.
Weldon snorts and looks away from us all, shaking his head.
The blood drains from my face as my stomach does a weird little twist that makes me want to scream out. I don’t want to train with her. Not alone.
“I thought we were going to be kept together,” I say defensively, backing away from her. “I don’t want to be separated again. I won’t be.”
“Got that right,” Jaxen adds, looping his arm around my waist.
The protests erupt behind me from Gavin, Cassie, and Jezi, all claiming that we saw this coming. That not a single one of us will take another step until she explains herself. It takes her a good, solid few seconds to regain control over the flaring tempers.
“This is just training,” she assures with a confident smile. “All of you will have different classes at some point. This is just a part of your training that needs to be kept separate until Faye can learn to control her powers.” She looks directly at me. “You wouldn’t want to hurt them, right?”
I look over at my friends and swallow. No. I wouldn’t want to hurt them.
“Shoot for the Achilles, why don’t you?” Weldon kicks off the wall. Moves in next to me.
Clara takes baby steps toward us all. “I don’t understand why you are all getting so bent out of shape. I have done nothing to show you that you can’t trust me.” Her tone is calm, and her voice careful.
“Aside from breathing,” Cassie says under her breath.
I’m not sure if Clara heard her or not, because she doesn’t acknowledge the remark. “Faye is the main reason you’re all here, correct?” She stops right in front of us, her eyes switching back and forth between the group. Even taking the time to lock eyes with Weldon.
There’s a brief, hesitant nod from everyone.
“Then you all must understand that Faye’s abilities differ from the rest of you. So much so, that in order for us to help her, we must first understand all she is capable of. And like every new discovery, we have only scratched the surface with her. This is strictly for your protection.”
My hands twist in front of me. I hate that she’s right. I hate that I’m drastically different.
Jaxen’s grip tightens around my waist. “I don’t care what your reasoning is, Clara. I won’t be split from her again,” he says firmly. I smell his volation waking inside him, already feeling the little bits of energy he’s pulling from all around us.
I think she does too. She reaches out. Places a careful hand on his arm.
His eyes jerk down to her touch, and then back up at her.
She smiles, but it’s strained, as if her patience is wearing thin. “You’ll still be with her, Jaxen,” she says softly. “Every day. You’ll only be apart for the training portion of your day.”
Jaxen moves in front of me, shielding me with his body. “That aside, I still don’t understand why we need to be split up again. Accidents or not, wouldn’t it be in all of our best interest to train together? To learn from each other so when we’re out there fighting for you, we’ll know how to work together?”
“Taking the smart approach has never been Clara’s strong suit,” Weldon bites off, his arms crossed.
Gavin chuckles behind me, trying to cover it up with a weak attempt at a cough.
Clara frowns. “Yes,” she says to Jaxen diplomatically, her eyes peering over his shoulder at Gavin, shushing him. “That is the goal. Once Faye learns her capabilities and shows control, then you will all be placed back together so you may learn to work together.”
Relief floods my system.
“Sure. That’s what you say now,” Weldon shoots off. “Sooner or later, that mask will fall off.”
The tension in the air is electric, and something inside of me snaps. “Cut her some slack already,” I say harshly. “She’s right about me. About needing to get my powers under control. We agreed to come here, and this is who has been assigned to us. What other choice do we have?”
He looks at me like I’ve just kicked him in the gut. As if I’ve just betrayed him in the worst way possible. “Slack?” he repeats, sounding appalled, like he can’t make sense of the word.
I cringe, biting the inside of my lip. “Weldon, I just meant—”
He shakes his head, like the motion itself will sling my words away from him. “You know what?” he says, cutting me off. “Go for it. Fall into her graceful, slippery words. Don’t listen to your partner. The one that matters. The one you should trust! No one ever does.” He shoves past me and heads down the hall, bumping into Elite after Elite, putting as much distance as he can between us.
I think I’ve just screwed up. Royally.
“And there he goes,” Gavin says, watching Weldon disappear. He looks over at me. “I’ll calm him down. Get him a tampon or something. Don’t worry.” He looks to Clara. “Which room are we in first?”
“Room 113,” Clara says, straightening her blazer and pushing her chin up in the air. “Your teacher will provide you with your schedule. I planned to escort you all, but I can see that you might need your space.”
“Yeah,” Cassie says. “We’ll talk to him.”
My heart feels torn between being angry with him, and upset for hurting him.
Clara straightens the front of her jacket. “I’d appreciate that, Cassandra. We’ll all be better off if we can work together.”
“So long as you keep your word about putting us back together, we won’t have problems,” Gavin says. There’s a mild threat underneath his words. He means it.
For a split-second, I swear anger flares up in her lavender eyes, but then she blinks and plasters on another smile, nodding in agreement.
Jezi doesn’t say anything. She looks up at Clara from under her lashes, and then follows Gavin and Cassie.
I turn to Jaxen. “I didn’t mean to hurt him,” I say, feeling lost and confused. Feeling as if I break more than I mend.
“He’ll be okay,” he soothes. “He’s just being sensitive.”
“Your classes end at four pm, Jaxen. That’s when you will see Faye again,” Clara says, cutting us short. “We really should get going,” she adds. She plants a smile on her face, like it will e
ase the meaning behind her words.
I hate the conflict that takes hold of his green eyes, dulling them. I don’t like the defeat that stares so plainly back at me, as if I’ve taken every bit of his strength and squashed it. He runs the back of his hand down my cheek. Takes a step back.
“Okay,” he relents.
Clara smiles at me, but it’s strained. “Good,” she says, sounding slightly relieved and just a little bit annoyed. “This will only benefit you all. The stronger Faye is, the better chance you’ll have at completing this mission.”
“I sure hope so,” he replies, looking her in the eyes. He kisses my forehead, and then turns from us. I watch as he makes his way down the hall with heavy steps.
Clara puts a hand on my shoulder and directs me back to the elevator. “We’ll be on the top floor.”
“What kind of training will I have?” I ask, following her into the elevator.
“Real-life simulations. We need to see how you work under pressure. It seems that’s the only time your powers have come out.”
“Oh,” I say. I feel nervous… and just a little bit stupid for walking away from the safety of my friends without batting a single lash. “And… you think that’s going to help?”
The door slides open. It looks just like the wing I was kept in at the Correctional Facility. White walls. Large glass viewing windows. Cold metal tables. Scientists dressed in lab coats with shiny objects in their hands.
I think I’ve lost my voice. I’m sure of it, because I want to tell her I need to go back. That I don’t want to be tested on anymore, but the words won’t form. She keeps walking ahead, unaware I’m slowly breaking down. My feet feel like they have concrete blocks tied to them. My breath keeps growing shorter and shorter.
She stops in front of a door, and I can barely see it. Panic seems to have blurred my vision. Made my mind dizzy.
“This way,” she says, pushing the door open. She waits for me to walk in, and then the door clicks shut behind us.
Four metal walls. One small camera in the far left corner of the room. It’s just like all the other rooms I visited since my arrival to Ethryeal City… just like when I was kept apart from everyone. I swallow hard, trying to keep my heartbeat under control. Trying to keep my chest from giving away just how much this situation gets to me.
She steps in front of me and her eyes narrow, boxing me in. Without a word, she walks around me like a predator, assessing me. Sizing me up. Her heels click against the floor as her steps carry her in a full, scrutinizing circle. I’m wondering how I’m still hanging on, why I haven’t snapped, when she finally stops right before me.
“You know, it’s direly important we know, but even more so that you know, what you can do. I tried to explain this to Maddock in the beginning, but he wouldn’t listen. He’s incapable of seeing past his own needs—just like every other man, which is why I had to amputate myself from him. I couldn’t bear another moment of mopping up his messes.”
My insides run cold. “I don’t understand—”
“He thought he could keep you hidden from the Priesthood. From the world. He thought his silly round of training with the emotionally unstable, not to mention, cursed, Gramm brothers would be enough. That you’d come into your own and help him with his own personal, illegal matters.” She shuts her eyes and drops her chin to her chest, laughing softly—mockingly. “But you’re far more powerful than he could ever comprehend.” Her eyes open, locking on mine. “And far more dangerous. Which is why you have been placed under my control.”
One word slams against my brain like a balled-up fist.
“Control?” I blurt out, flinching back. “I thought you were only overseeing my training?”
She stops. Looks at me like she’s irritated and bored. Like she’s dealing with a small child who refuses to stand in the corner she put me in. “I am overseeing your training, but as I’ve said before, many times over, you’re a loose cannon, Faye Middleton, and loose cannons have no business in this Coven. You must learn your place, and that is underneath me, not beside.” She pauses, wearing the same exact smile she wore in my dream. “I’m asking you to—” she swallows, like she’s having trouble forming the next word, “to please be understanding. Don’t make this hard on yourself because I promise you, this can be much worse.”
I know I should control my emotions, maybe even shut them off, but doing that would be like holding my breath. I could for a short amount of time but, eventually, my lungs will want to expand and my brain will force them to work. To feel.
My eyes are locked on hers and I’m shaking, swirling with anger, and rage, and all the other awful things she makes me feel. Rationality decided to take a vacation and leave my mind scrambling for the right answer. For the correct move I should make next. But all I see is the hatred in her eyes. All I hear is her threats.
I am a match struck awake from the force of her words.
“I already told you. I will not be controlled.” I turn for the door, but before my hand even touches the handle, I’m slammed up against the wall, pinned by the force of her forearm.
“Now, you listen here, you little shit,” she says, her eyes wide and fierce.
I struggle under her, blinking several times, trying to make sense of what’s happening. “What are you doing? Let me go!”
“Shut your mouth!” She barks the order out so hard, some of her hair falls free from her bun. “I told you not to push me. My patience is thin. It has been ever since I released you and all of your idiotic friends from the Correctional Facility. Now, I told you this can go two ways. Apparently, I wasn’t specific enough before, so let me make this crystal clear. You’re on my turf now. You speak when I say you can speak. You move when I say you can move. You breathe when I tell you to. You fight when I tell you to. You heel when I tell you to. Do you understand the pattern?”
Seconds pass, and in them, I’m hoping this isn’t real. That she’s going to laugh and tell me she was just kidding. That she was just testing my control over my emotions. But when the seconds turn into minutes, and her arm is still pressing against me, eyes still daring me to try her, I realize this isn’t a sick joke.
This is every nightmare I knew would come true.
Words. So many of them. They fill my mouth and transform into wasps, all with their stingers pointed in Clara’s direction. I push back against her, glaring in her face. “I understand you’re a heartless Witch. I understand that I’m not going to spend a minute more in your presence.”
I shove her hard enough to release her grip, reaching for the door. But it’s the chilling laughter filling the room that makes me hesitate. The image of her standing in front of the burning flag, smiling wickedly down at me, that makes me reconsider my position.
“You think you’re free here? In my city?” she says, her face so close to mine that I can make out the tiny, purple veins behind her skin. “You’re not free. You never were. You’re only here because I allow you to be here. Your friends are only here because I know you’re useless to me unless you know they’re okay. That’s the only reason I’ve attempted to gain their trust. But that can change. Death can happen just like this.” She snaps her fingers.
Terror has once again wrapped its cold hands around my neck. “What are you talking about?”
Her eyes are so dark they’re almost black. “It’s really simple. All it would take is one phone call. One order given to the many Elites who have been placed under my regimen, and your precious friends will be no more.” She moves in, taking a sharp breath, making sure the threat in her eyes is plainly visible. “Therefore, you are mine, Faye Middleton. We have a lot of hard work ahead of us, and there will be things asked of you that you might not agree with. I’ve fought too long and too hard to get to where I am today, and I won’t have you screwing that up for me. I won’t back down to a few lousy Watchmen who dare question me, and so long as they trust me and cause no problems, then they can stay. Their survival is in your hands.”
She pauses, letting her words sink in, letting the threat wrap its noose around my neck, but my brain is nowhere near ready to accept all that she has said. I’m shaking my head. Wishing away this moment. Retracing my steps back to the moment when I should have made a different decision. Back to when Weldon told me her mask would fall.
Like a cornered animal, the need to survive jerks me back to reality. Breaks open my self-preservation. Snaps awake my need to protect those who have become my family. I spin on her so fast that I barely register what I’ve done. The force pushing behind my muscles feels so good. Too good. It’s a rush I didn’t know I craved. An all-consuming need that’s taken hold of my brain and lit every neuron on fire with power.
Everything around me becomes so clear. Crystal clear. The premonition. The first choice. I made the wrong choice. I trusted her just enough to let her take me away from my friends, to give her a chance to separate us again, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. How I’m going to get myself out of this, because she’s a monster. A horrible monster who my mother tried to warn me about… and I could kill her.
I want to kill her.
It isn’t until I see the fear in her eyes that I realize I have her pinned against the wall by her throat. That I notice the bluish-purple hue to her face and the gurgling, choking noises squeezing out her mouth. Her feet dangle in the air, her hands clawing at mine, but I don’t feel any pain.
My whole body is vibrating, covered in rippling volation. The lights in the room flicker on and off as I pull hard on the electricity, using it to fuel my muscles.
“You will not go near Jaxen, or any of my friends,” I say, but my voice is not my own. It’s filled with too much rage. Too much adrenaline. “I should have listened to Weldon. To all of them,” I say, squeezing her throat harder.
“Yes,” she squeezes out. “But… you… didn’t. Someone… had to… break your… blind faith… in the world.”
I squeeze even harder, enjoying the veins that now bulge behind her eyes like strings popping loose, unlacing her evil from the inside out. “We’re done here.”