“A couple hours.” She rested her hand on my cheek. “How do you feel?”
“Better.” I sat up slowly and leaned against the headboard next to Holly. “Dad, how come you’re still here?”
He stood and handed me a bottle of water. “Just wanted to make sure you were okay. And Holly is good company. I didn’t even realize two hours had passed.”
“She’s very good company.” I put an arm around her and pulled her closer. “Whatever he told you, it’s not true.”
Holly laughed and shook her head. “So you didn’t really date one of the girls from Legally Blonde, The Musical?”
“Okay, that’s true, but only for, like, two weeks.”
“That had to be the most obnoxious girl I’ve ever met,” Dad said.
I nodded. “Agreed.”
Dad got up from his chair and headed toward the door. “I think I’ll go get a few hours’ sleep before we makes plans for today.”
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
I glanced sideways at Holly, then back at him. “I’m sticking with my decision to join the family business.”
His face fell. Then he nodded toward the door, indicating he wanted to speak privately. Holly caught on to the hint as well and gave me a nudge off the bed. After we were on the other side of the door and Dad had darted his eyes around the hallway several times, he finally spoke in a low voice. “Let’s talk about this some more tomorrow … but not here. Security’s an issue with such a large building. I can’t possibly check every corner.”
“Okay.”
“We can go sailing … Freeman can keep an eye on your friends.”
I shook my head right away. “Not a chance. I mean, I’ll get on a boat, but Adam and Holly are coming with us. And I want you to tell me everything, but I already gave my word to Marshall and I’m not changing my mind about that part.”
He let out a breath. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
I nodded. “I’m not going to let history repeat itself.”
“I know what you mean,” he said. “But we should still talk before someone else has a chance to glorify this job … fill your head with big ideas.”
Dad sighed and walked away toward the stairwell. Right now he was the only person who knew how many ways that statement could be translated. October 30, 2009, might be the future in this timeline, but to me it was history. And what happened to Eileen was not going to happen to Holly. I was determined to do anything to make sure of that.
As I crawled back into bed, the reality hit me: I was officially in the CIA. Not just a made-up story. I slid Holly down so she was lying beside me, then leaned over her and kissed her. “You are so pretty … Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yes, I like secrets. Especially yours.”
“I wanted to kiss you the first time I saw you.”
“Really?” She lifted her head and kissed my nose. “Tell me another secret.”
“I promised my sister I’d marry you.”
Holly laughed. “Was this one of your hallucinations induced by Adam’s special science project?”
I ducked my head and touched my lips just below her collarbone. “Yep, exactly. Oh … and we’re having six children—”
“Six!”
“Uh-huh … so keep those giant panties, you’ll need them.”
Holly was laughing so hard, she was near tears. Then her smile dissolved and she just stared at me for a minute, a hard knowing look. “Is that what you meant when you said…?”
I knew where she was going with this. “That it’s hard to be sure until things aren’t great?”
Her hands reached out to my face. “What happened?”
“Just a really bad dream.”
“You can tell me.”
I rested my head on her pillow. “Have you ever watched someone die?”
“No,” she answered, turning toward me so our faces were just inches apart. “Never.”
The whole story about visiting Courtney in the hospital just spilled out of me, but I told her it was a dream or a hallucination. “For a long time, I thought my dad resented me for being healthy … for living.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Holly said, and the second the words were out of her mouth, tears trickled from her eyes onto the pillow. She wiped them away quickly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you.”
“No, it’s okay. You can tell me anything. I mean that.” She picked up my hand and brought it to her lips. “I just wish I knew what she looked like.”
“But you’ve seen—” I stopped myself, remembering that 009 Holly had only seen an empty room and a few pictures of me around the apartment. “I mean … do you want to see a picture? I have one.”
She nodded, and I reached over and dug through my wallet, pulling out the card I never gave Courtney with a picture of the two of us in Central Park on Christmas Eve, just a month or two before she got sick. Holly’s eyes traveled from the picture to the words on the other side. And I let her read them because 007 Holly had and it only seemed fair.
She wiped away the tears that fell and handed me the card, looking determined to retain her composure. “I couldn’t have done it, either. Watch someone I love die. I would have been so scared.”
“I know you could, Holly.” I brushed my fingers over her cheek.
“Now, maybe, but when I was fourteen … no way.”
I smiled at her still-teary face. “Enough with the sad stuff. It’s torture making you this upset.”
“No more talk about me delivering six children, either. Just thinking about that gives me the urge to cross my legs and leave them that way.”
That was exactly what I needed to shake me from my subdued mood. “I love that you have no problem saying shit like that to me … So, can you tell me a secret? Actually, it’s more of a question.”
“Maybe…?”
“How did you end up hooking up with a guy like David Newman?”
“What’s wrong with David?”
“Nothing, but what’s the appeal? How did it start?” I asked.
She raised an eyebrow. “You really want to hear this?”
“I’m just curious, that’s all.”
“We got drunk one night and made out at a party in front of a lot of people, and since we were already good friends, they just assumed … that was our special moment. David was so wasted he didn’t even remember it. Still doesn’t.”
“That’s it?”
She shrugged. “I think when I was younger my vision was that the perfect guy was out there somewhere and then I just decided to—”
“Settle?”
She smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, but it’s not like I knew that. I didn’t know any different.”
I scooted closer and slid my hands around her waist. “I know what you mean.”
“For a while, I hated you for making me doubt what I had already decided on. With David, I didn’t feel … he didn’t…”
“Light your fire?” I asked with a smile.
“No, he didn’t.” She kissed me and rolled on top of me, tangling her fingers in my hair, then she pulled away to yawn. “Sorry.”
I pressed gently on the back of her neck until she laid her head on my chest. “Go to sleep. You look exhausted.”
“You want me to move over?” she asked, laughing a little.
I tightened my arms around her. “Nope, stay right here. It’s very warm.”
She lifted her head. “You’ve always been good at this.”
“At what?”
“You always hold my hand at just the right moment and kiss me with the most perfect timing. Like it was your way of saying what you couldn’t say. I knew the words would come eventually.” She pressed her cheek against my shirt again.
“Sorry I ever doubted your patience.”
Sleep never came to me the rest of the night. I just lay there, feeling the warmth of Holly’s presence spread through me, and I thought of my dad and everythi
ng he’d lost. He wouldn’t betray me. Even if it was his job to save someone else. I knew that now.
I’d seen the scar before, on his shoulder, from the bullet he took for me seventeen years ago, but didn’t know how he’d gotten it. How could I have sat there in 2007 and whined about having to see a younger Holly, one who didn’t know me, when my father had no chance of seeing Eileen alive again? Ever.
And hearing she was like a mother to me, I wanted to know so much more about her. Everything. If only it weren’t so far back in time. I watched as the sun peeked through the curtain and knew things would never be as easy as they were at this very moment. But I didn’t let myself think about anything else. Not yet.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
AUGUST 15, 2009, 12:00 P.M.
“Wow,” Holly said, looking up at the giant white sailboat. “Do we have a captain for this monster?”
Dad walked up behind us. “That would be me.”
“You know, I think maybe … I’ll sit this one out, lay out on the beach or something,” Adam said, looking longingly at the people on the beach stretched out in the sand.
Dad clapped Adam on the back, a little too hard. “Nope, you’re coming with us. Can’t leave you on land with all that access to technology. Not on my watch.”
I had a feeling Dad was joking, but Adam’s face filled with fear. He leaned toward me and whispered, “Mobsters use this technique all the time. Take the suspects out on a boat, shoot them, then toss their bodies into the ocean. By the time they wash up in some foreign country or Caribbean island, the evidence is gone.”
Holly heard Adam and rolled her eyes. “Seriously? There’s much better ways to erase evidence than that.”
Dad helped Holly onto the boat and I muttered to Adam, “What happened to the real Holly Flynn?”
Adam grinned at me. “She’s not so different from you. Holly’s never wanted to be ordinary.”
He was right. It’s not that Holly hadn’t been herself around me, she just held back a lot because she didn’t think I could handle it. Future plans, passion … commitment, all of that stuff would have sent me running.
I gave Adam a shove toward the boat. “I got your back. Besides, most of the mobster murders happen on motorboats.”
Dad was hard at work getting the sails untied. I jumped in to help him, while Adam and Holly sat on the bench at the bow and watched.
“Is this part of agent training?” Holly asked. “You guys look like you know what you’re doing.”
I glanced at Dad and smiled. “No, actually, it was part of our family vacations. Something completely normal.”
“And we can’t say that about much, can we?” Dad said.
A few minutes later, we were off, staring out at the open waters. I immediately felt a sense of relief being far away from a hotel full of people. Now I could understand why my dad wanted to escape.
“So, when are we going to discuss spy secrets?”
“When we get a little farther out of range,” he said quietly. “Have you learned how to check for listening devices?”
“Yeah, you showed me.” I began my search, starting with the lower level, then I scanned over the deck carefully. Dad was having a whispered conversation with Adam and I couldn’t help listening in.
“There’s a division I started in years ago, when I was about your age. Anyway, headquarters are in the basement of the New York Public Library and there’s very little risk involved. Mostly reading books, computer programs, and websites, and looking for spy code,” Dad told him. “I could get you in?”
“Cool,” Adam said.
They dove into an in-depth conversation about this particular department of the CIA and I left them alone and sat at the opposite end of the boat. The sense of urgency Dad had had last night seemed to have dissolved. Maybe he just wanted to spend some time together, now that we didn’t have any more secrets.
Holly returned from the lower deck, handing me a drink, and then sat between my legs, leaning back against me.
“This is the first sailboat I’ve ever been on,” she said.
“Sailing was always my favorite part of vacation.”
The sun beat down on us, but the splashes of ocean water hitting us every few minutes made it perfect. I tightened my arms around her waist and rested my chin on top of her head. Both of us sat in silence for a while, then I felt Holly’s eyes on me and when I glanced down, she was staring at me. Her face so intense.
“What?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Nothing … just…”
I leaned down farther. “What is it, Hol?”
Her lips touched the side of my neck, then she said in a low voice, right in my ear, “I love you. I really mean it. Not like when I said it to David … Much more than that.”
I squeezed her tighter, feeling so warm. I don’t know what made me say what I blurted out next. Maybe it was the intensity in her eyes or the guilt of holding back for so long. Or maybe I wanted to say it because I knew my dad never got to.
I kept my eyes on Dad, but brushed my lips to Holly’s ear and whispered, “Marry me.”
I immediately felt her suck in a breath and hold on to it, but I didn’t look at her. I didn’t need to. Asking her was my only goal. The rest wasn’t important … yet.
She turned my face so I had to look at her, then said, “I will … someday … I promise.”
“You don’t have to promise. I only wanted to ask.”
“I promise,” she repeated with a smile.
I wanted to just bathe in the perfection of this moment, but too much had happened for me to allow my mind to relax. Today was August 15. Would Holly’s life be in danger again on October 30? Or sooner?
The worry on Dad’s face as he steered the boat around jerked me into full-blown observation mode.
“Something wrong?” I asked him.
He pointed behind me and I quickly turned. Dark charcoal clouds were charging toward us, a complete contrast to the rest of the sky.
“Crap,” Adam said, standing up to get a closer look.
I got up and walked over to Dad. “So we turn around, no big deal, right? It’ll probably move over really quick.”
“Right,” he repeated.
Dad and I raced around, securing the sails, figuring out our coordinates in case we lost visibility. Ten minutes later, the sky was completely covered with thick dark clouds ready to overflow on us.
A bolt of lightning lit up the sky, turning everything pink for a few seconds, then the rain came down in giant sheets.
“Life jackets!” Dad shouted over the rumbling thunder. “And get off the deck!”
Holly and I flipped open the seat of the bench and pulled out life jackets. I tossed one to Adam and threw another over Holly’s head, tying it tight. The rain pounded so hard, I could hardly see her face, but I heard the shriek that escaped from her mouth as she looked over my shoulder. I spun around quickly.
A dark-haired man with a long black raincoat stood at the very front of the boat. Oh, God, this is not happening now. My first instinct was to shout for Holly to go belowdecks, but if someone had appeared up here …
“How did he get here?” Holly asked.
And who did he come for?
The sound of my heart pounding was louder than the rain. The man grabbed Adam around the neck just as the boat tilted sideways, throwing Holly into the railing. The man holding Adam stumbled a little and I used my elbow to give the man a hard blow to the side of his head, forcing him to release Adam.
Adam fell forward, then jumped up and grabbed Holly from the edge of the railing, pulling her toward the other end of the boat.
A second later, I was tossed onto my back on the deck. When I leaped up, the man wrapped his hands around my throat and shoved me against the post in the center of the ship. I didn’t recognize his face, but I could see the rage written all over it. I grabbed his wrists, trying to pry them from my neck. I couldn’t breathe. Black spots were appearing in front of my eyes.
/> “You killed her,” he sputtered at me.
Killed who?
“Holly!” I heard Adam shout.
I tried to kick the man, but my legs were turning to Jell-O. Running feet pounded all around me. Or maybe it was the blood throbbing in my head. A blurred figure appeared behind the man and a loud crack followed, then his grip loosened and he fell to the deck. I gasped for air and the black spots disappeared. Holly stood in front of me, a fire extinguisher in her hands.
She jumped back when the man stood up and stumbled around the rocking boat. It was like he couldn’t see. His hands felt around for something and then he stood up on the bench. A second bolt of lightning blasted through the sky, revealing the confusion on his face. Then two shots went off and the man tumbled over the railing into the ocean.
I clutched my chest and turned around to see Dad poised at the far end of the boat, holding his gun. Perfect aim. He ran over to me and grabbed my face. “Are you okay?”
All I could do was pant and nod.
“Sorry, I put all the guns down below,” he shouted, then he dropped a handgun into my palm.
I stared at it for a second and then tucked it into my pants, even though I hated the idea of using it.
“Somebody needs to explain … that, now!” Holly said, pointing in the direction of the floating body.
The thunder was so loud, none of us could speak over it. Finally, I found my voice and shouted at Dad, “What the hell was that? Did you know? The next item on Marshall’s list, right? Why did you bring us out here if you knew someone might attack us?”
“If I knew about this, do you think I would have put my gun away?” he said. “I’ve never seen that man before, and I’ve seen nearly all of them.”
The boat tilted farther sideways, throwing us toward the railing. I caught Holly around the waist and covered her head with my arm as we crashed into it.
Dad stumbled back up and shouted to Adam, who was now attempting to steer the boat.
“Jackson, tell me!” Holly demanded as we struggled to stand upright again. “Where did he come from? He appeared out of nowhere.”
I ignored her question and turned around to shout at Dad, “Should we go belowdeck?”
Dad slid back toward us. “No, Freeman’s coming. ETA is two minutes.”