Now, though, what else did she have, other than her children and her grandchildren? And a husband who was suddenly in love with a twenty-two-year-old girl.
The humiliation was still smarting along with the knowledge that this time it was different. Over the years he had tried to save her feelings, but this time he was not bothered about her at all. Had lost all respect for her, because he was enamoured of a child, a girl who already had two children by two different men, and a mouthful of expensive teeth that had been paid for by the man Maddie had loved all her life.
A girl who he took everywhere with him, like she was some kind of trophy, like a prize that said he wasn’t getting old. It was laughable, and she would have laughed if it had happened to anyone else but her. Freddie Senior was staying with this girl most nights and he was parading her around the place without a thought for her. It was as if he had gone mad overnight, and now she was reduced to seeking out her son’s mother-in-law, someone who she had prided herself on avoiding for all those years. She knew Lena was aware of the situation, but then it was nothing new to her, she had lived with it all her life. She also knew that Lena, knowing the score, felt for her, because she understood just how hard this situation was. To think she had looked down her nose at Lena for years and now, when life was overwhelming her, it was to Lena she was turning.
Once, Maddie would have caused murders, she would have fought him every inch of the way. But not any more. She was past fighting now, because she knew in her heart that if she pushed it, he would actually leave her this time. He was older, and he needed the reassurance of youth more than ever. She also knew he was working for his son, and experiencing a renaissance of his younger days and the skulduggery he had loved so much.
Freddie had given his father a new lease of life and she would never forgive him for that.
‘I want my Freddie. Where’s Freddie?’ Jackie wanted her husband, she wanted him beside her as she produced his son. It was what she had dreamed of for months.
Maddie rolled her eyes at Lena. In the waiting room they had already consumed a large amount of brandy, courtesy of Maddie Jackson’s emergency supply that she kept in her large, mock-crocodile-skin handbag. Maddie liked a drink occasionally, when life was getting her down.
She had only come to the hospital because her husband was on the missing list with his young girl, and her son was nowhere to be found, but for the first time ever she was warming to Lena, a woman she had always seen as below her, mainly because Lena and her brood had never moved on from the estate they had all grown up on. Whatever her husband was, he had moved them away. It grieved her that Freddie was still more comfortable in the council house he had with Jackie than she would have liked. All the money he had earned, and he still had nothing.
But they were both spendthrifts, they both saw money as something to use unwisely. She had hoped that Jackie, at least, with three kids, would have learned the value of a pound. It was not to be, now the girl was sweating and groaning out another child that would be brought up on the rock and roll. Because her son and his wife were claiming benefits, she knew that for a fact. Jackie was still getting her social security every Monday, she saw it as her bunce, as her money. When Freddie had been banged up it had been a necessity, now she should be making ends meet without bringing in government agencies and everything they entailed.
The word Jackie always used when she approached her about it was entitled. But more people had been captured over claiming benefits than was realised. Once they started poking their noses into your business, the law nearly always followed.
Maddie closed her eyes and tried to forget about the circumstances of her family because she was worried, more worried than she had ever been about her life. Freddie Senior was reliving his youth, and this had made her realise that she had never lived hers even when she had had it. She had not known how to be young, and suddenly this was important to her. Her life had been wasted, and it was only now she was becoming aware of that fact.
It was this more than anything that was playing on her mind. All her life, since her first child at seventeen, she had been a mother or a wife, and now she was being discarded. Her husband’s leaving was only a matter of time, of that much she was sure. And the knowledge hurt, it was like a physical pain.
All her anger at Jackie was being suppressed now, because without the girls and this new baby her life would be over. Her husband had been everything to her for so long, and had always respected her and cared about her. She had never thought for one moment that he would stop. Now, though, her life was off kilter and she had a lot more in common with Jackie than she had ever thought possible. So she had no option but to concentrate on her family, and, like many another woman before her, she was finding out that at the end of the day that was all you really had.
For a proud woman like her, it was harder than she could ever have believed.
‘Tomorrow we have a couple of mates up at the Bailey for a bail hearing, we want to make sure they get it.’
Halpin nodded warily.
‘How can I do that?’ His voice was quavering and he knew that Freddie and his sidekick could hear it and were enjoying it.
Freddie grinned, and pushed a new drink towards him. ‘It’s easy, see. We have done this loads of times.’
He lit himself a joint and then, blowing the smoke in Halpin’s face, he coughed heavily before continuing. ‘We need you to explain to the judge, quietly like, in his chambers, that my two mates have been a great help to you in solving other cases and so they deserve a break. But obviously it all has to be on the hush hush, as they can’t be seen to be helping anyone with anything, that goes without saying.’
He could see the beads of sweat on the man’s face and thanks to the cannabis he wanted to start laughing, but he knew he couldn’t.
‘Stop worrying, this kind of thing is done all the time.’ Freddie motioned to Jimmy, who took a sheet of paper from his pocket and laid it on the table. ‘These are their names, and what they are being charged with. The judge has already been given a large drink, so he will be ready for you and then it’s just a formality. They will be granted bail.’
Halpin sipped at his Scotch to gain himself some time. It was one thing turning a blind eye, or relocating drugs and firearms. But to walk into the Old Bailey and lie to a judge was asking for trouble. It was putting yourself in the frame, in the public eye. It was making yourself visible to your own.
‘Who were these blokes nicked by?’
‘South London filth, it’s all on the paper. They have all been ironed out by some friends of ours, but that’s nothing for you to worry about. They know the score and they are willing to back up your story.’
Halpin saw a way out of his predicament and the relief he felt was almost tangible. ‘But I am Serious Crime Squad, why would I be a part of that? It doesn’t make sense.’
Freddie was getting fed up now. He wanted out of the pub, he wanted to celebrate his baby being born. He hoped it was a boy, he was sick of daughters. They were more trouble than they were worth, like all women.
‘Look, mate, just do what the fuck you are told. They have a lot of form between them, they need to be seen to be helping out the big boys. You are one of those big boys and it’s about time you earned your fucking keep.’
Jimmy was impressed. This was Freddie’s forte. He had been born to intimidate, and no one could do it with such quiet menace or screaming terror as Freddie Jackson.
The next step with Halpin was to get him to recruit for them and he would do it. He had no choice in the matter. As Jimmy watched the policeman down his Scotch in one nervous movement, he knew they had him and he also knew that Halpin was just beginning to understand what he had got involved in.
Chapter Seven
Maggie watched the little performance from the bar, and as always when she saw Jimmy at work, it made her nervous.
She was not in the mood to go back to the hospital just yet, and she was hoping she might be able to shame Freddie
with her continued presence. She didn’t hold out much hope though. Freddie was already off his face and looked set for the night.
She guessed that the man with them was being shaken down for something, and as she observed Jimmy’s and Freddie’s body language she felt a prickle of fear. She didn’t like this Jimmy, she knew she would never be comfortable with this side of him. Even her father treated him differently nowadays, she had seen the respect he afforded him. The way he listened carefully to everything he said, as if overnight he had become the fountain of wisdom. The overblown gratitude, when Jimmy slipped him a few quid for a bet.
One part of her was thrilled, she knew better than anyone that in their world it was his standing in the community that would ultimately get them a better life. Her sensible side, though, also knew he was into serious business now and that could mean serious prison time.
She pushed the thought away. Jimmy was too shrewd. As young as he was, he had Ozzy watching his back, he was as safe as he was ever going to be, and she had to stop worrying. The worry blighted the good times, and it was always there in the background. And watching her sister in the hospital bed being delivered of another child, she had seen how her own life with Jimmy could end up if she wasn’t careful. Even though he loved her, and she knew he did, he adored her, she also knew that Freddie had once loved her sister in the same way. Now that feeling was all one-sided. Jackie still worshipped her husband, Freddie only stuck around because Jackie was his legal. But even that didn’t guarantee anything these days. Men walked away from long marriages, something that had been unheard of not that long ago.
Her mother had always said that, once the kids arrived you were on your own. Maggie had not understood that statement until now. She was too young to know so much about life, and she was acutely aware of that. But she had made a promise to herself a long time ago. If Jimmy ever slept with anyone else, she would never let him near her again.
They would be finished for good, for ever. She would never let him talk her round, make her feel less than she was. Once they fucked you over, if you let them talk you round it was as if you were giving them permission to do it over and over again.
It was imperative that he never lost her respect, she was cute enough to know that much. She was not going to have the life her mother and sister had, she saw herself above that kind of treatment. She was better than that and she was never going to let herself forget it.
‘People only do to you what you let them.’
How many times had she heard that old chestnut? Her granny had said that to her mother a hundred times a day. Her mother had not listened to her advice, but Maggie would. Her father would chat up women in front of her mother, and she could still remember the fights they would have about it. Her father even used to take her round to his girlfriends’ houses when she had been a kid. Her mother had believed that because she was with him he wouldn’t get up to any of his usual tricks. Not with his daughter in tow. Her childish presence was supposed to have made him remember his responsibilities. Her mother had tried everything to keep him true to her and what had it got her?
Maggie still had vague memories of cheap perfume, and strange houses. Other kids to play with sometimes, or being given sweets and plonked in front of a TV set. He had always made a big fuss of her, made her feel special. She knew now, of course, that that was second nature to him. She was a female and he loved women, especially his youngest daughter who had thought he was a god. Her father would tell her not to tell Mummy where they had been because it was a surprise. She had believed him at first, then she had sussed him out. She had finally refused to go with him, even though her mother would tell her to. Her mother, who had still thought his daughter would keep Joe on the straight and narrow.
They had never discussed it, but he had guessed that she was on to him. It had changed the dynamics of their relationship somehow. Even as a little kid she had sensed that it was all wrong, that her father had wanted her with him for all the wrong reasons. Not because he couldn’t bear to be away from her, but because she was his blind. She also knew that if they ever discussed it, it would destroy them both. He had used her, and she was determined that no one would ever treat her like he had treated her mother.
Overnight, her mother had become the bigger, more important person in her life. Until then her father had been her hero, and her mother had just been there. But it was a learning curve and she would never let herself forget what men were capable of.
As she watched Freddie and Jimmy, the similarities between them were uncanny, they were like twins born years apart. Freddie, though, was the alpha male, he was the one you looked at first. His size and looks were more striking than Jimmy’s. Darker, his hair was thicker and blacker, and he had the deep Irish colouring that women loved, from his blue eyes to the five o’clock shadow. Even Maggie could see why women were attracted to him and she hated him. But he was very handsome, and his air of danger only added to his attraction.
Jimmy was the younger, sleeker version, but he was catching up with Freddie every day. He was taller than Freddie now, though he didn’t have the heavy build that Freddie had cultivated in prison. Freddie had been in the gym for the best part of his sentence and he had done what many a man had done before him. Built up his body, to take his mind off his predicament. But now he had been home for so long, he was starting to run to fat.
As she watched them together she pushed all her doubts from her mind. Jimmy had been the love of her life since they were little kids, and she had to keep reminding herself that he was not like Freddie.
When the man they were with finally rose to leave she walked over to them. Freddie looked at her intently, his eyes roamed over her body as if she was standing there butt naked. He made a point of doing it, and she still felt uncomfortable under such intense scrutiny, especially when her sister was there. He knew she was frightened of Jackie sensing that he watched her, that he wanted her. She was too young to have to deal with sexual politics, but she had grown up on a diet of rage and sexual indiscretions. And she hated him for making her life harder than it already was.
At least he didn’t try it on so much any more. At one point she had been frightened to be near him. Even if Jackie was in the next room he would make a play for her, try to grab her breasts. And then he would laugh at her when he saw how scandalised she was. Now though, Jimmy’s rise in the world had put paid to that.
Freddie seemed to be aware of the way Jimmy was progressing, and if this kept him off her back then she was all for Jimmy’s rise to power. But the underhanded way Freddie came on to her, made sure she was always wary of him and what he was capable of.
‘She dropped it yet?’
Freddie sounded bored. Until he heard the word boy he was not going to let himself get excited.
‘Don’t you think you should come to the hospital, Freddie? Jackie is having a rough time of it.’
He raised his eyebrows and then, smirking, he winked at Jimmy who couldn’t help grinning at his antics. Freddie was funny, there was no getting away from that.
Then Freddie started to laugh. Maggie hated his laugh, it was the ultimate insult. He laughed at you, rarely with you.
‘You mean to tell me you hung about all this time thinking I was going to go to Rush Green to hold her fucking hand?’
Jimmy watched them both. They were natural antagonists and he understood how Freddie got on Maggie’s nerves, he just didn’t fully understand what the problem was with Freddie. He knew Freddie fancied her, that was apparent, but then he knew any man in their right mind would fancy her, and it went deeper than that.
‘Want a drink, Maggie, or do you want me to run you back to see your sister?’
Jimmy’s words told her she was wasting her time and even though she knew it, she still had to try. If Freddie would only go and see his wife then Jackie would calm down.
She used her trump card and hoped it would work. ‘I had better get back to the hospital, your mum looks tired, Freddie, as if she has
n’t been sleeping. I’ll try and get her to go home.’
Freddie was amazed that his mother was there at all, let alone staying till all hours. Maddie loathed her daughter-in-law, it was one of the main things they had in common these days. He wasn’t stupid though, he knew his father was making life intolerable for her with this new bird. It was a bit full on, even he had noticed that. The little bird was taken all over the place with him, and his father was besotted with her.
He had not seen his mother for a few days and he knew his father had not been home for over a week. He was holed up round the girl’s flat, with her two bastard kids and her speed habit that Freddie was inadvertently financing, because his father was not bothering to do any actual work. He was disrespecting the woman who had brought up his son, and who had made sure he was clean and fed.
He was suddenly worried about her. She had been a good mother, the only woman he had any respect for at all. He stood up.
‘Come on, let’s go and see how the old bird’s doing,’ he said. ‘She better have a fucking boy after all this.’
Jimmy was relieved. He had not wanted another night of it in the pub. He wanted to be with Maggie, and just relax.
Freddie was feeling good about himself now, he could be delivered of his son and heir this very night. The thought excited him, he wanted someone to carry on his name. It would make his life bearable. He loved his girls, especially his Dianna, but a son would be the ultimate.
His mother would love him to be there, anyway, she needed him and he knew that. It wouldn’t hurt him to make her happy, and turn up at the hospital for five minutes. She was big on family stuff, always had been.
Jackie watched her husband as he gazed down into the handsome face of his son.
He grinned at her then and she smiled bravely. She was feeling OK but she was determined to milk this for all it was worth.