“Because of what happened at the Academy?”
“If you are referring to the fact that I got busted lying about wanting to sever the cord binding me and Asmoday in front of everybody—then yes.”
“I can’t blame Nick for being upset about it,” he admits.
“I can’t either, Bry. I just wish someone could understand it. It’s not like I asked for this. It just happened and now I feel everything he feels. You can’t even imagine what that’s like. You know how sometimes you feel something, but you can’t really identify the feeling or even why you are feeling it?”
Bryon nods.
“It’s like that all the time. Because I’m not just confused about my own feelings anymore. Now I’m confused about his. And I’m confused which ones are his and which ones are mine.”
“So what you are trying to say is you’re confused?”
She smiles. “Very.” Keely takes a slow breath and forges on. “And I haven’t told anyone this because I just found out myself, but he’s not actually my brother.”
Bryon sits forward. “What?”
“It’s kind of like, my father adopted him, but not for the normal reasons of adopting a child. He did it for revenge. Asmoday’s grandfather was one of the fallen Watcher’s that returned to Heaven. I guess my father’s been holding a grudge and found a way—Asmoday—to stick it to him.
“So now that I know he’s not blood…”
Bryon stares at her, horrified. “Do you have feelings for him? Like real, you’re not my brother, let’s make babies feelings? For a Demon?”
Keely sighs. “Kind of?”
“You kind of have romantic feelings for your Demon brother.”
“He’s not my brother.”
Bryon laughs bitterly. “How do you go from hating men to falling in love with every other one you meet?”
“That’s seriously not fair.”
“I mean, it’s been what? A week? And you fall for two guys.”
“Hey, with Nick, I nearly died three different times, three different times that he saved me, so that should count for at least like, I don’t know…three weeks? And we were living with each other twenty-four seven under highly dangerous and stressful circumstances, so I think that should count for at least another week. Not to mention the fact that I thought he was dead, and even though it was only for a few minutes, it was horrible. Something like that makes you look at things differently. So by my count, I’ve been in at least a six week relationship. That is a perfectly acceptable time span for caring about someone.
“And as for Asmoday, I feel everything he feels. And he’s the only one that truly can understand what this is like. The things he’s giving up? The things he’s willing to do for me? The things he says when we’re alone. Asmoday is a different person than you think he is.”
“He’s not a person at all. He’s a Demon.”
“And I’m a Demon Princess.”
“You’re a Doyenne.”
“And you’re a Watcher, the sky is blue, and the grass is green. What is your point?”
Bryon shrugs. “I guess I don’t have one. I’m the wrong person to be talking to about this.”
“You’re the only one I can talk to. You’re my best friend.”
Bryon laughs. The sound is sad and cold. “You want to talk? All right. You just remember that you wanted this.” He turns so he’s facing her straight on. This was never how he imagined doing this, but you do what you got to do.
“I’m the one that has been your friend for the last year. I’m the one you tell all your shit to. I’m the one that listens. The one that makes you laugh. I’m the one you hung out with everyday. I’m the one you can do stupid accents with in the car. I’m the one that has taken the time to get to know you. I put in a year. And for that, I will always be the best friend. These other guys show up a week ago and they’re the ones who get a piece of your heart? And by the way, I saved your ass, too. I gave up shit, too. I’ve changed, too. I also respected your feelings when men scared the shit out of you. So I backed off and I waited in agony. Waited for the day you could look at me and see more than just another guy. I realize now that will never happen. It’s a little hard to sit here and listen to you talk about loving other guys. But you know what? I will freaking do it for you.
“My opinion? Stay with Nick. He’s a good guy and he loves you. And you won’t lose everyone that matters to you by being with him.”
Keely stares at Bryon in nothing short of pure shock. She couldn’t have seen this coming with a telescope. She’s been fighting these feelings growing inside of her, never thinking for even a moment that he may actually, truly return them. Now that she knows, it kind of scares her.
Bryon laughs again. “Don’t even worry about it, Kiem. I’ll be just fine. I don’t want any explanations. You didn’t know. Now it’s too late. It’s all good.” He opens his door. “There’s a hat in there calling my name. You coming?”
Keely nods stiffly. Opens her door mechanically. How did this happen? How did three guys end up caring about her? Most girls would love this. It makes Keely feel sick. She thinks of all the times she would blow off his flirtations, chalking it up to Bryon being Bryon. What an idiot she has been.
So now what happens?
Bryon holds the door open for her and she walks silently into the store. “I’m thinking black,” he says picking up a hat from a display. He twirls it on his finger. “But I want a soft leather. And I don’t like this stuff.” He points to the detailing on the rim.
Keely understands. What happens now is they pretend everything is fine. Nothing’s changed. Nothing’s happened.
Only, it did happen.
And now Keely is more confused than ever.
And sad.
Because she can’t have them all.
“What about this one?” she says quietly, picking up a hat similar to what he described.
“Let me see.” He reaches for it and Keely freezes, going absolutely still. Her eyes lock on his. Bryon pauses, his hand outstretched. “Don’t do that.”
Keely blinks. “What?”
“Just don’t.”
Keely lowers the hat to her side. “I don’t know what I did.”
He shakes his head. “The way you just looked at me.”
“Yeah?”
He laughs in a soft, sad way. “Don’t give me hope where there isn’t any.”
Thirty-Three:
Keely licks her lips. They feel so dry suddenly. “I don’t know if that’s true.”
Bryon squints at her. “You don’t know if what is true?”
She shoves the hat at him and turns away. Stares at the row of cowboy hats without really seeing them. Her hands shake. Her whole body trembles. Eyes sting. Head throbs. If she goes there, she will never be able to take it back.
“Keely?”
She crosses her arms in front of her. Holds her elbows tightly. Digs her nails into her skin trying to feel a different kind of pain for at least a moment.
Bryon pries her fingers loose and turns her gently toward him. “What isn’t true?” His blue eyes lock onto hers. Searching. This is her Bryon. Sweet. Sensitive. Caring. Open. All the arrogance lost. The boy that made her laugh when her whole world was crashing around her. The guy that remembered the little things about her, like how she didn’t like to be touched. The man who thinks enough about her needs to stop and pick her up a new cell phone. Her best friend. Hers. There is a longing in her chest. She could heal it so easily. All she would have to do is move forward. He is right here.
Bryon’s hands tighten on her, holding her in place. Keely realizes she hadn’t just thought about it, she had been doing it. Drifting in the direction of his lips like an idiot.
“Keely.” He swallows, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat like he swallowed a rock. “What are you doing?”
What is she doing? She doesn’t know.
Keely pulls away from him, her blond hair spills around her as she drops her head. She takes a step back. The
n another. She turns and escapes through the door.
Once outside, Keely takes a deep breath. Inhales like it’s her first breath after nearly suffocating. Sinks to the curb. What is wrong with her? Had she really just tried to kiss Bryon? And after his speech in the car, did he just turn her down flat? A slow realization sinks in. She is seriously, truly, one hundred percent, demented. She is disgusted with herself because she knows exactly why Bryon had stopped her from kissing him. Nick.
Keely hears the door open. Hears it slide closed again. Sees his shoes from the corner of her eye. Slowly, she looks up at Bryon. Words unwilling to come.
He lowers himself to sit beside her. “It’s not that I don’t want to, Keel. Because I do. I really do. It’s just, I can’t do it like this. You have too much already going on. You just told me you can’t choose between Nick and the Demon. I don’t want to be another option for you to choose from. And I can’t just be a distraction. I could say screw it and enjoy this moment, but we would both regret it. Nick’s my friend, and the way I want to be with you, it’s sort of in a long term way. I’m smart enough to know that if I kissed you now, it would end up being a bitter memory for both of us. I can’t share you. And I can’t lose you.”
Keely nods her head as his arms circle around her. The warmth of his body against hers chases away the chilling cold inside. “I am so confused, Bry. I feel so…much. You don’t know how long I had been going without feeling anything. Just shoving everything down. Now, it’s like I can’t stop it.”
“What do you feel for me?” he asks, looking down at her. “Just so I know. Just in case…” He shakes his head. “Just so I know.”
Keely nearly gasps at the look on his face. The longing in his eyes that must mirror her own. She doesn’t know what to say. Will telling the truth make things worse? Because the truth is, she loves him. She always has. But not more than she loves Nick. Not more than Asmoday. But love is love. Filling her heart. Making it feel as if it is about to burst.
“Never mind,” he says softly. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“I love you. But I love him too. Both of them.”
Bryon’s hand shakes on her arm. He nods stiffly. “That really sucks.”
Keely looks away. “Yeah.”
He stands up and offers her his hand. She takes it and he pulls her to her feet. He sighs. “I’m probably going to regret not taking advantage of this.” He smirks at her, but the sadness in his eyes makes it clear he isn’t joking.
Keely glances at the store. “We need to get your hat.”
Bryon runs his hand up the back of his head, his palm sliding across his dark hair causing it to stick out. Keely brushes it back into place and heads to the store. The door sticks slightly when she opens it, making a sound like peeling a sticker from fabric. The small building seems darker than it was a few minutes ago. And colder. Something prickles Keely’s skin. Some kind of sixth sense or intuition she can’t quite place.
Just as she is about to voice her strange feelings, Bryon pulls on her arm. He shoves her back to the door, but it is completely stuck now, refusing to budge. He hisses something in her ear that sounds a lot like, “hide.” She isn’t sure she heard him right over the pounding of her speeding heart. He pushes her again and reaches into his pocket, coming back with three throwing stars. Keely feels her eyes go big as it occurs to her that they are definitely in some kind of danger. She looks around quickly. Heads for the counter where the cash register sits.
She pulls herself over the counter and ducks behind it. Her head is throbbing with each beat of her heart. She sniffs the air expecting to catch the scent of stale cigars, but picks up a softer, sweeter smell instead. Lavender and vanilla. Something about it brings an image of Dustin to her mind. Keely shakes it away. That can’t be right. Her confusion brings her back to her senses. She reaches into her pocket for her cell phone and nearly curses when she remembers she left it at home to charge the new battery. Why couldn’t these things happen when she was better prepared? Keely looks around hoping the store has a phone conveniently placed. She trails her eyes over the cord coming from the wall to where it connects to the base of a cordless. And of course, the actual cordless phone is missing. The base sits empty, mocking her.
“Well hello there, handsome,” a voice calls sweetly. Keely wants so badly to peer over the counter to get a look at the source. It takes all her self control to stay in her hiding place.
“We haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Mianna. And you would be…hmm. Bryon, right?”
“Who are you?” Bryon demands, spitting the words.
“I just told you, I’m Mianna.”
“What are you?”
“Just a girl,” she laughs.
“How do you know me?”
“I’m good friends with your buddy. The one with the pretty eyes. Well, eye.” She giggles quietly. “But your eyes, they’re much prettier. I could play with you all day.”
“I’m not much up to games right now,” Bryon sneers.
“Sorry, I’ve been given strict orders. I’m to play with you so they can grab her.”
Though Keely can’t see, she can tell by the way her voice projected that Mianna was looking in the direction of her hiding place as she said this. She has a feeling she isn’t actually hidden at all. And now she really wants to see who the ‘they’ are.
“Nobody is touching her,” Bryon says coldly. “Not unless you want to lose an appendage.”
Keely can’t stay back here any longer. Not when she’s imagining Bryon surrounded by Demons. She grips the counter and pulls herself up slowly. Her eyes dart around the room scanning over the four Demons. Two behind Bryon. One—the girl that’s been doing all the talking—directly in front of him. One in front of the door. This one turns his head slowly and stares at her with eyes reflecting like a cat’s.
“Oh, good. There you are, Keely,” Mianna purrs. “Wow, you really are as pretty as they say. Your brother is quite taken with you. He gave us strict orders not to leave any permanent marks on you.” Keely doesn’t have time to respond before Mianna is in front of her. She uses both hands to flip Keely’s hair off her shoulders. Her fingers linger in her hair.
“So soft. What kind of shampoo do you use?”
Keely blinks in shock. “Shampoo?”
Mianna leans forward, pulling a chunk of hair to her nose and inhales deeply. “Strawberries.” She drops the hair and takes Keely’s chin gently in her grasp. Turns her head to the side, then to the other. “Flawless.” She smiles coldly. Her grip tightens and Keely jerks away. “Let’s get this show on the road, boys.”
Bryon grips his throwing stars, ready to throw as two of the Demons stalk toward Keely. Mianna disappears from in front of Keely and pops up behind Bryon. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Good thing you’re not me.” He releases one of the stars. It sails through the air imbedding itself into the throat of one of the Demons. He plucks it from his thick flesh, dark syrupy blood flows from the wound. He turns his head, fixing an expressionless gaze on Bryon and throws it back at him. It strikes him below the shoulder, just to the left of his arm. He makes a sound of surprise mixed with pain.
Keely places her hands on the counter and propels herself over. She lands it gracefully and runs to Bryon’s side.
“Seriously? You can’t restrain one small girl?” Mianna seethes. She pulls back her arm and backhands Keely across her face with such force her feet leave the floor. In the time it takes Keely to land on her back, knocking the air from her lungs, Mianna is on top of her. Hands move around her throat. Nails dig in as she shakes Keely. Her head hits against the hard wood floor again and again.
Mianna leans close to Keely’s ear as her fingers tighten on her windpipe. “He’s not coming to save you. I put a seal around this entire store. Nobody gets in.” She kisses Keely’s cheek and let’s her weight settle on her chest.
Asmoday. He must feel her fear. Her pain. The fact that she can’t breathe.
Why does every Demon insist on suffocating her? Keely raises her hand and makes a fist. Punches Mianna in the face. She spits blood.
“Stop fighting little Princess. This goes on until you pass out.”
Bryon raises himself up, pulls the throwing star from his chest. Shudders as he sees how deep it implanted itself. Blood spreads across his shirt, turning it a rich crimson. He feels dizzy as he tries to raise the star. The two Demons are only steps away. His right arm refuses to cooperate. Shifting the star to his left hand, Bryon tosses it at Mianna before falling forward. Hears it hit its mark.
Mianna looks at Keely with eyes full of astonishment. Her fingers slide from her throat and reach to the back of her own neck. Keely shoves her off of her and rolls over gasping for air. Pulling herself to her knees, she crawls toward the table in the middle of the room. On top, thick wooden stands hold hats. One hand grips her throat, the other fumbles with the display. A hat stand falls to the floor, bouncing and landing next to Keely. She wraps trembling fingers around it and pushes herself back.
Mianna rips the star from her neck. She smiles at Keely before disappearing. The lights flicker. The room brightens significantly as Keely moves herself toward Bryon. The other Demons stand around him uncertain of what they should do next.
Keely gets to her feet and swings at them maddeningly. She succeeds in backing them away a few steps before one—the one with the cat eyes—wrenches the hat stand in Keely’s hand. Her fingers burn as she frantically tries to keep her grip. With little effort, he wins the tug-of-war and throws it hard behind him. It hits the door shattering in large chunks of glass.
“Keely, go. Run,” Bryon demands. He pushes her away from him weakly as he tries to stand.
“I’m not leaving you,” she cries.
Bryon’s eyes plead with her. “Go.”
Keely takes his hand and pulls him to her. She ducks under his arm, offering herself as support. “We’ll go together.”
“You have to come back with us,” one of the Demons begins. “Apophis awaits your return.”
“Apophis’ Demons are weaker in the daylight, right?” She asks Bryon quietly as they hesitantly approach the door.