She doesn’t know why she’s come here. She must be the last person in the world he would want to see. Rocking back on her heels, she turns to leave when something catches her eye. Blood drops on his blanket near the end of the bed. Six of them, side-by-side like a trail. Her eyes follow the drops off the bed and onto the floor. Her feet thrust her forward trying to piece it together in her head. They stop at the bathroom door. Keely’s hand shakes as she reaches for the knob.
“What are you doing here?” Dustin asks in a husky voice.
Keely whirls around, her hand flying to her heart. “You scared me.” Edging toward the bed, she licks her lips nervously. “I…I just came to tell you how sorry I am.”
Dustin’s face goes white with fear as he gets a better look at her, at the blood on her clothing. “What happened? Is Lila-”
“She’s fine. It’s Bryon’s. He’s in the emergency room. His parents are giving blood right now. Apparently he has a very rare type and it’s quicker just to get it from them.”
Dustin raises a brow. “Yeah, Watcher blood. We don’t have types like humans do,” he says coolly. “It’s nice to have a Guardian on the hospital staff to avoid that awkward moment when you have to explain why your blood doesn’t match any of the known types in the world.”
“Oh, right.” Keely scratches her arm uncomfortably. “They say he’s going to be o.k.”
“Great.”
“I really am sorry.”
Dustin looks at the blanket. “You ruined my life and all you have to say is you’re sorry?” He laughs bitterly.
Keely takes a step away. “I don’t know what else to say. I didn’t want to tell them. I tried not to.”
“Yet somehow you did. I suppose I can’t blame you. It wasn’t personal against you. I was just trying to save her.”
Keely nods. “I know.”
“I mean, the only reason we were there in the first place was because of you. If you hadn’t insisted on going, Apophis would never have gotten a hold of Lila to begin with. I never would have been faced with that decision.” His hands curl into the blanket. “I never would have been tortured by your brother. I would still have both of my eyes. I would still have my girlfriend.”
The room has gone very cold. Goosebumps raise the hairs on Keely’s arms. She takes a deep breath, ready to apologize again. She pauses. Inhales again. She picks up the distinct scent of vanilla, and underneath, lavender. Keely squints at Dustin, studying him for several seconds. She turns abruptly and moves to the bathroom door quickly, pulling it open. There is a small puddle of fresh blood on the floor. Several wrappers from bandages. A small bloody handprint on the sink.
Keely glares at Dustin. “Who was here?”
“I don’t get many visitors as you can imagine.”
“Then it shouldn’t be that hard to narrow it down.”
“I thought you came to apologize. Not interrogate. My mom was the only one here. She cut her finger.”
Keely glances around. “On what?”
“A box. She brings me dinner. I don’t like the hospital’s food,” he explains.
Keely stares at him. He answered rather quickly. She couldn’t lie that fast, but she isn’t much of a liar. She doesn’t know what to think.
“As nice as this has been, and it really has been wonderful, I am tired. If you’re done pestering me, I’d like to get back to my lonely existence.” He rolls back to his side.
“I know you don’t believe me, but I truly am sorry for all of it. I never meant any of it to happen,” she says quietly.
Dustin continues to ignore her as she leaves.
Outside in the hall, the world moves faster. Seems brighter, warmer. She can’t help but feel bad for Dustin. Everything he said was absolutely true. Every single last thing that happened to him, to Lila, to Bryon, to Nick, to her parents—it was all her fault. Her parents were kidnapped. Dustin lost his eye. Nick was attacked in his own home. And Bryon. Poor Bryon. He suffered a Leech Demon, got kidnapped and locked in a cell in darkness for days, just to get ambushed by more Demons. And if it weren’t for her, none of it would have ever happened.
Suddenly, Keely can’t breathe. She gasps for air and chokes. Gags. Her heart slams against her tightening chest. She runs, pushing past a nurse hurrying down the hall.
Keely doesn’t stop. She bursts through the door to the stair well and continues running. Her feet skip a step and she nearly falls. Still she runs. Out the door, down another hallway. Out of the building. Her legs pump, faster and faster. Her feet pad rhythmically on the asphalt as she pushes herself forward. Her hair whips behind her and she feels as though she is flying. It doesn’t occur to her where she’s going until she is nearly home. It does occur to her, as her house comes into view, that it probably wasn’t the brightest idea to leave the hospital alone. It’s too late now.
Keely uses the spare key to let herself into the house and takes the steps two at a time up to her room. She slams the door and begins stripping her clothes off. They are stiff from the dried blood. Her skin is stained a vivid red as if she’s sun burnt.
Kimberly knocks at the door and Keely assures her that everything is fine. She stalks into her bathroom and sets the shower on hot. Stares at her trembling reflection in the mirror.
“You are so weak,” she spits at the girl staring back at her. “Everyone is getting hurt because of you.” She pulls the cabinet open and retrieves her pills. She fumbles with the lid that refuses to budge. Keely screams out in frustration and throws the bottle against the wall. The lid flies in one direction, the bottle in the other. The small pills scatter over the floor. She slams the cabinet door shut and the mirror cracks diagonally.
Keely laughs without humor. Perfect.
Stepping into the shower, the water scalds her skin. She ignores the pain as she soaps her loofah and scrubs her skin raw. Satisfied that all of Bryon’s blood is washed from her skin, she shampoos her hair quickly. That was probably one of the worst panic attacks she has ever had. She’s beginning to feel guilty. Nick’s probably worried about her. She should call him right away. Keely turns the water off and wraps a towel around her securely.
Asmoday is sitting on the floor, legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankle. His arms are folded across his chest and his head rests back against the wall. There are dark circles around his eyes, Keely notices.
“Hey,” she whispers.
“I was sitting there, waiting for you to come back from the bathroom, and trying to ignore your Guardian, when I was hit with an urgent desire to kill myself. It took me several minutes before I realized these were not my feelings.” He plucks a pill from the floor and examines it before looking up at her sadly. “Why?”
Keely steps over him into her bedroom. He’s in front of her before she can make it to her closet. “Why,” he pleads.
“I’m all right now,” she says, focusing on the curtains as they billow in and out. “Can’t you just let it go?”
“Let it go?” He repeats her words slowly. She walks around him and digs through her closet.
“No. I can’t let it go.” He grabs her shoulder and turns her around. “Do you know what will happen to you if you commit suicide? Do you not remember what happened to my mother? I cannot protect you in Purgatory.” His eyes flash with concern and he grips her tightly.
“I didn’t do it. It was just a passing thought.”
“I know it was more than that.”
Keely pulls away from him. “I freaked out for a minute. All these bad things keep happening to people I care about because of me. For a moment I considered whether they would be better off without me.”
“They would not. All you would accomplish is trapping yourself with the Demon King until your debt of punishment was paid in full. For most, that is eternity. I left that life, Keely. I cannot go back. He would never allow it. You would be alone. The things they would do to you…” He shakes his head. “I need you. I do not know who I would be without you.”
Keely meets his eyes. They are so incredibly sad. Guilt pulls at her heart. She hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. She didn’t realize how close she had come to doing something so stupid. So, so stupid. It wouldn’t have even done any good. She would have given herself over to her father. She would have brought even more misery to the people she loves.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it through. I am just really tired of causing so much pain.”
“You would cause a great deal more if you were not here,” Asmoday says softly.
She nods. “Damnation.”
He cups her face in his hands. “Yes, there is that as well.”
Keely is still as his fingers move gently over her jaw. She becomes very aware she is only in a towel. His fingertips slip from her face to her neck, light as a feather over her bruises. Trace across her collar bones. “I want to kiss you.” His fingers continue onto her shoulders. “I want to kiss you more than I have ever wanted anything else in my life.” Fingers caress the smooth skin of her arms. Find her hands. He pulls her into him. His breath is sweet and cool on her heated skin. With a shudder, she closes her eyes. His hands slide around her, press into the small of her back. She tilts her head up and her new cell phone rings loudly. She jumps guiltily and stares at it.
“I should,” she begins. She clears her throat. Tries again. “I should answer that.”
It hurts to let go of her, but he does. He watches her, unwilling or unable to take his eyes off of her. He follows the drops of water as they drip from her tangled hair. Eyes sweep over the towel that hugs her body.
“Hello?”
“Keely? Are you all right? Where are you?”
“I’m fine, Nick. I’m home. I should have told you I was leaving. I’m sorry.”
“Are you sure you’re o.k.?”
“Yes. I promise. I was just a little upset. I went to see Dustin. He wasn’t real thrilled to see me though. I just needed to get out of there.”
“It’s fine,” he sighs. “I’m on my way over.”
“Oh. Asmoday’s here right now.” She bites her lip and stares at the floor.
“You have to be with one of us, and seeing as he is not one of us, and Bryon’s in the hospital, and Lila is here with Bryon, I am coming over.”
“Oh. O.k. I’ll see you in a little bit then.” The call ends before Keely can say goodbye.
Asmoday takes the phone from her hand and drops it onto her bed. “Perhaps you should get dressed?”
Keely laughs nervously. “Yeah, probably.” She grabs clothes and goes to her bathroom to change. Pulls a brush through her hair and brushes her teeth. She steps on something as she rinses her tooth brush. One of her pills. She drops to her knees and sweeps them into a pile with her hands. Drops them into the toilet and flushes them. Tosses the container in the trash.
Back in her room, Asmoday waits for her in the same place he was before she left. Their eyes meet, locking onto one another. He nods at her and she is overcome with adoration. He sends his affection through the cord so intensely, it knocks out every other thought and feeling she had.
He drifts over to stand in front of her as if she pulled him to her. His strong hands draw her body against his. “You do not realize the power you have over me,” Asmoday says quietly. He brushes the hair from her shoulders.
Keely’s body goes rigid. “What do you mean?” She doesn’t want power over anybody.
“You could so easily destroy me,” he says matter-of-factly.
“I would never. I could never destroy you. I know I’m a Doyenne or whatever, but I don’t have any plans to hurt anybody.”
“Why can you not understand?” He bends his knees, coming face to face with her. “You hold my heart in your beautiful delicate hands.” He grips her fingers with his. “I have never given my heart to anybody. I didn’t know I had one. But I gave it to you. That makes me vulnerable. I am at your mercy.” He smiles at her. “Which is not a bad place to be. I am in love with you.”
She diverts her eyes quickly. She can’t look at him a second more or she will lose her self control.
“I need to know, Keely. Can you ever love me? Truly love me as I love you?”
“Don’t ask me that.”
“Why?”
She pulls away from him. “Because it doesn’t matter. I’m with Nick.”
“It matters to me.”
“What good will knowing do?”
“I suppose none if the answer is no, but if it is yes, you will make me extremely happy.” He grins at her.
Keely laughs despite her attempt not to, but sobers quickly. “I can’t go there right now.”
“You have not said no.”
When Keely turns away again without a response, Asmoday drags her back to him quickly. Arms encircle her firmly. “That is enough for me.” He kisses her forehead. A caress of his lips. He turns his head, his mouth in her hair. “Your Guardian is here.” With a smile, he lets his lips drag across her ear. “I’ll be back later to sleep with you. Until then,” he murmurs as his teeth graze gently along her earlobe.
He leaves Keely with a rush of warmth. She is flustered and confused. It takes Nick a moment to get past Kimberly and Keely has just enough time to recover before he is there, embracing her. His arms wrapping around her as Asmoday’s did just seconds before.
Thirty-Six:
Before Nick has time to question Keely about leaving the hospital, the doorbell chimes. They both listen quietly as Kimberly answers the door.
“May we speak with your family?” Keely recognizes the voice. Kind, but full of authority. The pretty woman with the built in lie detector.
“Ambriel?” Nick looks at Keely, confusion and concern crinkle his eyes. “Why is she here?”
“Of course. Please, come in,” Kimberly says. Keely picks up the nerves hidden in her mother’s voice. She shrugs at Nick and heads downstairs.
“Princess. How are you this evening?” Ambriel is flanked by Michael, Coach, and two others that Keely doesn’t recognize. Nick nods at them. “Guardian Wallace.”
“Is something wrong?” Keely plays with the hem of her shirt nervously.
“Keely. Don’t be rude,” Kimberly says quietly.
“It’s all right. Showing up here unannounced, I can understand your worry,” Coach says.
“We decided, in light of recent circumstances, it’s best for your team’s replacements to begin,” Ambriel says. She gestures at Coach. “Muriel will sit in for Watcher Hill until he is able to resume his duties.” She places her hand on Michael’s shoulder. “Michael has been kind enough to volunteer himself. He will take lead.”
Ambriel’s eyes lock onto Nick. “From this moment, he is in charge.”
Nick nods. “I understand.”
“Princess, I need you to go pack your belongings while I speak with your parents.” When Keely doesn’t budge, just stands there looking confused, Ambriel adds, “You will be living at the Academy until further notice. It is the safest place for you.”
Asmoday’s words flash through her head. That school, the Academy, it has the same spell around its grounds. I could not enter there either. “No. I don’t want to live there. This is my home.”
“It’s for your protection, Keely. You’ve had too many close calls,” Coach says.
“I know this must be hard,” Ambriel says. “But right now is not the time for self pity. You need to be strong. There is too much at stake.”
Keely translates that easily. Quit being a whiny little brat and do as I say before you get yourself kidnapped and end the world.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She turns away and hurries upstairs. As she packs her clothes, Keely realizes she misses Asmoday already. He will never be able to visit her while she’s there and she doubts she’ll ever be allowed to leave. Even if she were, the days of their private moments are gone. He will never again sleep in her room with her. When she’s upset, he won’t be able to come to her. No more conversations about their feelings for each o
ther. No more teasing comments. No more almost kisses.
She picks up her pillow and searches it for his scent. Inhaling deeply, she relaxes. Adds the pillow to her suitcase.
“Do you need any help?” Nick asks from the doorway.
“I need another suitcase,” she says closing the now full one on her bed.
“It’s not permanent,” he says softly.
“You don’t know that.”
“When this war is over-”
“The war hasn’t even begun. And what war do you know that only lasted a few days? These things go on for years, Nick.”
“Anglo—Zanzibar war.”
Keely stares at him. “What?”
“In 1896, the Anglo—Zanzibar war. It lasted exactly forty-five minutes. British won.”
“Fine. Name another.” Keely crosses her arms.
“The six day war. It latest six days, obviously.” He wraps his arms around her waist. “It’s not permanent.”
“Wasn’t there, like, a hundred year war or something?”
Nick smiles innocently. “Doesn’t sound familiar.”
“You are such a bad liar.”
“I will be there every day, I promise. And Ambriel wants Lila to stay with you at night. You’ll never be alone.”
He says all the right words, but they make Keely feel worse somehow. She wouldn’t mind some time alone. Needs it actually. And nowhere in that statement did he mention when she could see Asmoday. She forces a smile. “That’s great.”
***
Keely finds them all sitting around the kitchen table casually sipping coffee. “I’m packed,” she murmurs.
“Please, Princess. Sit. There is one more thing I need to discuss with you.” Keely suppresses a frustrated sigh and sits beside her dad. He takes her hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.
“I figured while I was here, I could have that discussion with your brother. Guardian Wallace has brought something to my attention and I feel it’s urgent to resolve this matter.”
Keely shoots a look at Nick. “What did you do?”
“He reported a significant change that could affect the situation. It’s his job,” Ambriel says.