It was wrong that I wanted to challenge a teenage boy, but I was honest enough to admit that I was in the mood to work this out with my fists.
That wouldn’t be happening though. Right now, I needed to reign in my baser instincts and act like the mature adult I was supposed to be.
“So,” I started out, crossing my arms over my chest and mimicking Brandon’s stance. “Want to tell me what that was all about?”
“Not really.”
The answer was surly, and as Brandon looked at his feet, I tried to forget the image of him slamming his hands beside Addison’s head.
“It wasn’t really a question. Stand up straight, and start talking, now.”
Brandon pushed off the lockers and stood up to his full height, which was a couple of inches shorter than my 6’4 frame. It was obvious he wanted to tell me to fuck off, but he was out of luck.
“We had a fight, okay?”
“Clearly, but why would you ever think it’s okay to treat a girl like that?”
“Like what? She likes it rough, just ask whoever she’s been fucking around with.”
“That’s quite enough, Mr. Williams.”
Brandon’s pride was wounded. I could see it in the slump of his shoulders and the way he wouldn’t look at me, and that right there was as effective as any punch in the mouth.
“Look, I don’t care what happened between you two.” That’s a fucking lie. I was more than happy they were over. “What I do care about is the safety of my students. You will not treat anyone that way. Do you hear me? And you especially will not slam a young lady up against a wall and yell at her, ever. That’s not how a man acts. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Brandon rolled his eyes, and I had the urge to slam him against a locker.
“You’re going to be suspended. Was it worth it? Get your stuff. We’re going to pay Principal Thomas a visit.”
I waited as he bent down to pick up his bag and heard him mumble, “Whatever.”
“What was that?” I demanded.
“I said whatever. She’s hot but totally fucked up in the head.”
I’d never considered myself a violent man, but as Brandon’s words penetrated my brain, a red haze clouded my judgment.
I strode forward two steps until he was back against the lockers. In a voice I barely recognized, I grated out, “You need to shut your mouth, right now. I don’t want to hear another word until we are in the main office, and when your suspension is over, you are to stay away from Addison Lancaster.”
Brandon’s eyes widened as he swallowed and nodded. I was out of line but not so far that it seemed unusual as far as I was concerned.
“Do I make myself clear?” I asked in a cool, calculated, and in my own mind, deadly fucking serious tone.
“Yes. Sir.”
“Good.”
Stepping aside, I watched Brandon march away in front of me, and I hoped like hell he understood to keep quiet, because I didn’t think I could listen to anything more without physically reacting.
Luckily for Brandon, he seemed to get the message.
Unfortunately for me, it fueled the fire to his kindling suspicion.
* * *
Present…
“Can I watch the news tonight?” I ask, making my way past Doc and into the common area.
“You can, but you won’t find what you’re looking for.”
I stop just inside the room and see several other residents of the Pine Groves establishment milling around and sitting on the couches.
“And what is that?”
Doc studies me in quiet contemplation.
“You forget how well I know you, Addison. You’re after answers, but they still don’t know anything.”
I push a stray piece of hair behind my ear as he asks, “Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Do you know anything?”
I walk farther into the room, but before I’m out of hearing distance, I look back at the man I spend most of my days circling. I give him the hollow smile I’ve perfected while being in here. It’s my new failsafe and it gives nothing away as I finally give him the truth.
“No, I know nothing.”
Except, I think as I take a seat, that he’s gone.
Chapter Twenty
Present…
Fifteen days.
As I stand outside the library door, I take a moment to think. Doc had been right. Last night’s news told me nothing. Not one damn thing. Except how long I’d been here.
Funny, it feels more like fifteen years.
I grip the door handle in front of me as I press my forehead against the wood and close my eyes. I can hear the blood rushing around my ears and I try not to give in to the urge but there it is—one, two, three.
“I know you’re out there, Addison,” Doc’s voice calls to me from the other side of the door.
How? How does he know that I’m out here?
“I can hear you counting.”
Shit, I’m doing it out loud?
I turn the handle and push the door open to find Doc sitting at the table I’d been seated at the other day. I close the door behind me and look at the clock on the wall—3 p.m., our usual meeting time.
“Come in, come in.” He waves me forward.
I have no idea why he asked to meet me here today, but as I get closer, I see two large books open in front of him, and my curiosity is peaked. I move to the vacant seat and sit down.
“What are we doing here?” I ask when it’s clear he doesn’t plan to say much else.
Doc sits back in his seat, plants his fingers on the first book and spins it around until it’s facing me. I glance down and see a beautifully illustrated picture of the purple hooded flower, and I know immediately what it is. So does he.
We had this discussion the day he showed me the photo in his office.
“Aconite.”
My eyes flick up to connect with his, and I make sure they are devoid of any kind of emotion—after all, that’s what he’s trying to draw from me, a response.
“The Queen of Poisons.”
I sit silently, waiting for him to get to his point. It’s obvious he has one since he’s bringing it up again.
“But you already know this. What was it you told me it means?”
My heart is thundering inside my chest. Clicking his fingers as if he “got it,” he states, “ ‘Without struggle,’ that was it. As in, whoever ingests it wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight before they die.”
He knows what he’s doing. He’s pushing.
He’s prodding at me, waiting for me to react, and fuck…it’s close to working.
“Did you know that hunters used it to paralyze wolves? That was how it came by the name wolf’s bane. It’s fast, almost immediate, depending on the dose.” He quietly considers me as he pushes the book my way. “But sometimes it can take a couple of hours, as you already know.”
He sits back and waits as I look down at the page in front of me. I can feel the tears forming as I try to blink them back.
He wants me to talk. He’s trying to break me.
I wipe away a tear that escapes, and I place my hand on the page. I touch the image of the flower and then seek out Doc’s steady gaze. He slides the second book over to me.
“Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss. That’s the photo on your wall. The only thing you brought with you, other than your watch.”
My eyes drop to the second image, and I can hear the ever present—tick, tick, tock—as I stare at the black-and-white sculpture in the art history book.
Memories flood through me and threaten to overwhelm the tenuous hold I have on myself. A look, a kiss, a whisper in a voice that soothes…
“Addison?”
I blink at Doc. His expression is intense, his focus unwavering, and when he points to Psyche, he says, “There wasn’t poison on her lips when Cupid revived her.”
Snatching both hands back, I clasp them in my lap. I want to tell him, to unburden
myself, but how can I?
Then in a voice that feels detached from me, I reply, “No, but she brought it to him just the same.”
* * *
Past…
Three thirty and the final bell of the day had rung. I picked up my bag and walked out to my car. I needed to speak to Grayson and I hadn’t gotten a chance all day.
Every time I’d seen him, he’d either been with a student or a teacher. There was no way I could approach him about this at school.
Brandon had been suspended because of me. I was trying not to feel guilty, but it was hard when he’d been right about everything.
“So how’s it feel? Being dumped in front of everyone?”
At the acidic voice, I stopped in front of my car and turned to see Jessica hot on my heels. I wasn’t really in the mood to deal with her, but she’d been extra bitchy lately, and I had no idea why. Maybe it was time I found out.
“What is your problem with me?” I demanded.
She had both of her thumbs tucked into her backpack straps as she gave me a derisive once over.
“Oh, nothing at all, Addy.”
“Yeah, that’s obvious.” I snorted, and the sound was ugly even to my own ears. “If you want Brandon, he’s all yours. I don’t care.”
Teenage girls can be cruel. I should know because over the last year I hadn’t always been the kindest.
“Gee, thanks for the permission. You know, it’s about time you were brought back down to earth. Apparently, you aren’t Little Miss Perfect. That’s nice to know.”
“I never said I was.”
Jessica’s mouth twisted into an ugly snarl. “No, but you sure do act that way.”
This day just wasn’t letting up. It continued to get shittier with every passing second.
“What. Do. You. Want?”
“I want everyone to see the shy little loser you really are. The same old Addison Lancaster as before.”
Tick, tick, tock.
She was not going there, was she?
My bag slid down my arm as my anger bubbled up inside of me.
“Before what, Jessica? If you’re going to be a bitch, then just let it all out.”
She raised an eyebrow and gave a scathing laugh. “Everyone tiptoes around you since Daniel died. We all know it was your fault. But it was two years ago, time to—”
That was it. I lunged at her, grabbing a fistful of her hair, and yanked her in close. When I was only inches from her, I shouted, “Shut up! Don’t ever say his name.”
She clawed at my arm, her nails digging into my skin, but I refused to let go.
How dare she even think his name?
“You are fucking crazy!”
She was right. At that moment, I felt insane. But I needed to know what was going on behind my back.
“Who said that?” I asked, pulling her hair harder.
“Let go of my fucking hair!”
“Answer me,” I hissed, spitting like an angry cat.
“Brandon. He said you’re a freak! That you count when he fucks you.”
Shocked and embarrassed, I pushed her away and slumped back against the car.
I counted out loud? Fuck, I always thought it was in my head.
“It must have been nice for him to finally screw someone normal.”
That final jab from her was perfectly timed, and before I knew it, my hand flew up and cracked against her cheek.
Instead of being shocked or upset, Jessica’s mouth pulled into a distorted smile. “Time’s up, Addy. Move along.”
With that, Jessica marched off to her car. As she disappeared, my eyes caught on the man leaning back against his truck with one hell of a serious frown on his face.
How long had he been standing there?
Knowing I was about to get suspended right along with Brandon, I sighed and bent down to pick up my bag. I didn’t even want to look at Grayson right now. I felt defeated and was starting to believe I really was the crazy lunatic they all thought I was.
Did I do this on purpose to be suspended? Because I felt guilty about Brandon? Who knew at this point.
I unlocked my car and threw my bag in just as I felt him approach. We weren’t standing close, but it felt as if he was touching me.
“Want to tell me what that was about?”
As always, his voice soothed me, but I still couldn’t bring myself to face him. I felt like a child, like his student.
“Just report me, and be done with it. I’ll be suspended, and this whole fucked up day can be over with.”
I was about to slide into my car when his hand moved to the roof and my name fell from his lips.
“Addison, look at me.”
I could feel the wetness on my face as I shifted and did as I was told.
“What happened?”
I swiped the tears away and shook my head. “Nothing, I just need to go. My mom is going to kill me when she finds out.”
“Hey, talk to me. That was the deal, right?”
I laughed then and looked around us. No one was in sight.
“Meet me later, if you still want to. Then I’ll talk.”
“I can’t. I need to go and see my father.”
“Please?”
He sighed, frustrated. “Where?”
“I’ll be with Daniel.”
He stepped back and asked, “Is this over? What happened here with Jessica?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m pretty sure she said what she wanted to say.”
“I should take you back inside to see Principal Thomas, you know that, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
He rubbed his weary face. “Get in your car, and go home. If she reports it, then…”
It went unsaid that he would have to back the claim, but I doubted Jessica would say anything. I had the scratches on my arm to prove she was just as involved.
“I understand.”
“Good. Now go.”
I got inside my car and watched him disappear in my rearview mirror as I pulled away. We’d have a chance later to talk about what really needed to be said.
* * *
Fuck. Today just wasn’t getting any better.
As Addison’s car left the lot, I had to wonder where my priorities were.
This morning I’d had Brandon suspended for threatening a student and this afternoon—right now? I’d let Addison leave after a fight in the parking lot.
Fuck.
I was almost at my truck when Helene stepped out from around the front.
I’d always wondered how criminals felt when they were caught, and with each step she took, bringing herself closer and closer to me, I could feel my chest tightening and my palms sweating. This was it—I was caught.
“Grayson.”
I tried for a smile, even though it felt more like a grimace, and when she beamed back at me, I felt the fist around my heart slowly loosening.
“I’m glad I caught you.”
Nice choice of words. Were they on purpose?
“You are?” I asked, feeling nervous and hating it. Where the fuck had my confidence gone? I shoved my clammy hands into my pockets and tried to appear relaxed.
“Yes. After this morning, my day just got out of control.”
That was an understatement if ever I’d heard one.
“So…I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go out and get dinner? Unwind a little.”
Oh shit, she was asking me on a date. Think, Grayson.
“Just as friends, if you like.”
Think fucking fast.
She shrugged her purse strap up her arm, and all I could think about was the way Addison did the same thing with her backpack.
“I was actually just about to go and visit my father.”
That wasn’t a lie. I was about to go and visit him until Addison had asked me to meet her instead.
“Oh,” Helene replied, and I could tell she thought I was lying.
Well, maybe I could go a
nd see dad today before I drove over to Oakwood.
“I didn’t know you had family here.”
“Yeah,” was my brilliant response. God, snap the fuck out of it. “He’s the reason I moved back. He’s not very well.”
“I’m really sorry to hear that,” she offered and stepped closer, reaching out to comfort me. Why did I feel nothing with her? Life would be so much easier if I did. I looked down at her hand on my arm and then back to her face.
“If you need someone to talk to…”
“Okay.”
She gave a tight grin. “Because you’re so talkative.”
I chuckled. “I’m sorry. I guess my mind’s somewhere else.”
She moved past me but at the last moment stopped and asked, “Oh, do you need me to come with you in the morning to report Addy?”
Just like that, the tight fist around my heart returned. I turned to face her and wondered what she was thinking, but it was clear—she’d seen everything.
The fight, me talking with Addison, and finally, me letting Addison leave without repercussion—so why the pretense? Why the invite to dinner?
“Sure. I figured it would be easier for everyone to deal with in the morning.” When did I turn into such a fucking liar? “Especially after the incident with Brandon. I let Addison know we’d be dealing with it tomorrow.”
There was a moment of silence, and I swore it felt more like ten minutes than ten seconds.
“How’d she take it?” Helene asked.
“Not well.”
“That’s going to mess with her track practice.”
“Yeah. I bet.”
She shrugged. “Oh well. She knows the rules. Doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could bend them. You know?”
I couldn’t even formulate an answer. I was too busy thinking back to my conversation with Addison and trying to remember if I’d done anything inappropriate. No, I didn’t think so.
I hadn’t touched her like I wanted. I’d made sure to touch the car.
“It’s such a shame, she’s really let me down. Not to mention her parents. They’ll be terribly upset if she can’t compete at State.”
She seemed to reflect on that thought for a moment, and I wondered if she was also disappointed because Addison hadn’t lived up to whatever expectations she had placed on her. “Well, I’ll let you go so you can visit your father.”