“See ya Madi Lee,” I whispered. Asia turned her head from me and looked out the front window.
After they left I made my way onto the back patio with my guitar. I was avoiding Asia and her beautiful anger. She seemed to hover around the kitchen door, waiting and watching. She paced back and forth. After a few songs she quietly joined me.
“Are you leaving too?” I asked annoyed. Thunder rumbled softly.
"Max, I can't compete with her." Her tone sounded scared and hurt.
"That’s funny, you never backed down from Sam before," I teased with my own grumpy tone. Her face tightened with her hand closing around the strings and neck of my guitar. The thin metal guitar strings choked to a quick silence. Thunder growled just above my house again.
"Not Sam."
"Oh." A long silence circled us. I sat my guitar down and slid myself closer to her. She pretended not to notice but I knew better. My inner fires reached for her like they always did. I filled with warmth. She sensed the heat and leaned closer to me.
"Madison is a storm waiting to be unleashed," she finally said. Her sadness worried me. I had seen her upset before but not like this. She didn’t seem to want to work through this mess.
"Asia, you're not in competition with her. I am her father. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t even know what to do with her. All I know for sure is that she was born a part of me." The words fell heavy upon me when I spoke them.
"That’s exactly why I can't ever compete with her." Her eyes fell on me hard. I watched her perfect face disappear behind a dark curtain of long curls.
"I’m not asking you to," I said quietly. I wanted to kiss her so badly at that moment. My fires wanted to fix this immediately. I hated to be causing her any kind of pain.
"Whatever." The sky grumbled.
"Look…I know things are a little complicated right now but I will never use Madison to hurt you.” I slid the hair from her eyes gently. Her sapphire pupils spun with a thousand worries.
“Can you accept that?" I pleaded, with a small ray of hope. She stood up slowly with the wind swirling through her hair and walked toward the kitchen door. My fires recoiled inside my chest. The rain found its way to the ground with the lightest touch.
"I don't know," she said cryptically. She walked inside, gathered her things, and left without saying goodbye. I spent the rest of the day in a distant fog, stumbling around on autopilot. How was I possibly going to get through Friday’s adventures?
Hide and Seek - 21
~The Little Things: Colbie Caillat~
7:57 p.m.
As quickly as the sun faded, the storm hit Maui,. The island was engulfed in blackness. It was around monsoon season, and Asia only seemed to intensify those water filled days and nights. I think the rainy season was making her stronger and more uncontrollable. She made sure that my uncle’s house took the brunt of the storm. She was beyond furious with me.
“Looks like someone's a little upset,” Frank joked from the living room as the rain pounded the windowpane.
“That’s an understatement,” I agreed, as thunder rattled the house around us. Oz tucked his furry nose in between two of the couch cushions.
“This old house can’t take much more of this. I’m definitely going to be patching the roof tomorrow,” he cursed under his breath.
“I’ll fix any damage,” I said annoyed. Frank acted like he didn’t hear me.
“And my poor truck! It’s surely gonna take on all kinds of water damage being left at the pier,” he continued. I froze as a flashback of the arc of lightning smashing into his truck filled my head. Courtesy of my Asia.
“If you only knew,” I said sheepishly. His grumpy eyes found me across the room. He wasn’t just upset, he wasn’t feeling well, and it was obvious. His pale face was just too much to take. That was enough for me. I needed to get out of the house.
“It’ll be okay Uncle,” I said mechanical. The harder the rain fell the more the fires inside me yearned for Asia and her touch. My thoughts on the other hand were crying out for Sam and Madi. I was quickly going insane.
“I wonder how much damage she’s doing to the island?” Frank grumbled as I ran out the front door in only my beat up old jeans and black tank top.
The rain was ice cold all around me. It drenched my clothing almost instantly. I wasn't even sure where I was going, only that I wasn't getting there fast enough. So I quickened my pace as I heated up. Steam flickered off of me in the fading daylight. I needed to get away from all the stress. My uncle, his truck, his impending damaged house, the indecisive thoughts about Asia and…
BEEP. BEEP. A car horn startled me from my inner monologue. It quickly pulled up beside me.
"Sam," I stuttered. The rain was falling so hard now I could barely make out her beautiful face behind the wheel. I stood frozen for a moment, not sure of what to do. She honked once more and waved for me to get in. Her passenger window rolled down next to me.
"Beautiful night for a walk," she teased with a hint of venom. She was still a little upset from earlier tonight. I tossed my wet bangs from my eyes, shaking the steam from my overheating shoulders.
"Beautiful night for a drive," I returned. She rolled her eyes and smiled.
"Need a lift?" she asked softly. I felt my heart flip inside my chest. My hand slowly reached out for the door handle. Quickly, I became petrified.
"I better not." I wanted to with every ounce of my will though. Water beaded along my hands and dripped off my fingers.
"Max…"
"Sam, I just want to be alone right now," I lied a little. The wind pushed against my lungs, gently stealing my breath a little.
"Please, we need to talk," she said full of mystery. Her smile faded but her eyes came alive with passion. I could not look away from those green jewels. My arm reached for the door again and I was climbing in before I even realized I was doing it.
"Thank you," she whispered. Her car windows fogged over instantly from the heat I was giving off.
"Sorry about that," I blushed. She reached out and wiped away the moisture on the windshield. She smiled and pressed down on the gas pedal. Slowly, we made are way down the street with the weather taunting us.
"So where's Madi?" I asked nervously.
"She’s with Kai," she paused. "He’s been having a hard time with things lately and she seems to make it a little easier for him." Her smile tried to come back but it never really made it. I hated that I was hurting either one of them.
"Oh." It was all I could say.
"She'll be staying with him tonight. That leaves me all by myself,” she paused. “With just my thoughts." Her eyes found mine as we rounded a corner on a familiar road on the edge of the city. Her car splashed along the drenched streets.
“Where are we going Sam?”
"I was on my way to talk to you about…umm…" she faded off but I think I knew exactly what she meant.
"Everything," I chimed in. She quickly shot me an understanding glare. Silence followed for the next few minutes as she drove cautiously through town. The rain was still coming down in giant wet drops, and the radio seemed to convey what was on our minds. Moments later we were pulling into a familiar parking lot.
"Sam, why did you bring me here?" I gasped. The restaurant where I was shot down in the pouring rain last year filled my wide, brown eyes. The sight of my death shook me to my warm core. I could still feel the impact of the first bullet as Devon pulled the trigger. The horrifying flashback turned my stomach and forced me to look away. The place was closed, probably because of the storm.
"I’ve avoided this place for over a year now. Heck, I've even avoided the street," she laughed lightly. My face tightened at the all too familiar street.
"Way too painful," she whimpered. I felt a wave of guilt and confusion wash over me, causing my body to begin to overheat again.
"Sam…"
"Things have become quite confusing lately and I needed some help. I thought this place would help center my t
houghts…my fears." She looked at me.
"Fears?"
"I’m so scared Max," she sounded like she might cry. "Scared that what I'm feeling is true…"
"Sam please," I begged, terrified of her next words. Her hand reached out for me.
"I can't do this now," I pleaded. I felt like running. She became angry with me.
"What is it with you? One minute you want me…you want us! And then the next you fight it. Why?" She grabbed at my wet tank top.
"I can't deal with this now!" I said and pulled away from her grasp quickly.
"Max you love me," she said bluntly. My eyes locked onto hers, making my body turn to stone.
"You’re better off without me," I sulked.
"Don’t!" she snapped and scooted up next to me. "I won't let you pass me by. I can't. Not now, not ever!" Her eyes filled with hope. The rain fell even harder now. I kept my mouth shut.
"You love me," she declared again. It caused my insides to grow with heat. So, I did what I do best…I ran. With all my might I broke her breathtaking stare and soft inviting grip and jumped from the car. The rain scolded me instantly with ice-cold truth. With no hesitation she turned the car off and ran after me.
"I love you Max! I love you and you love me!" she screamed through the rain. Her hair and clothes filled with the merciless cold rain. Her words stopped me in my tracks as if I had hit a wall. She whipped me around and found my scared eyes again. Her thin clothes already began to cling to her curves. I soaked in every line of her body. Her soft hand reached up and slid my bangs behind my ear and rested along my fevered neck.
"You love me," she whispered under the sounds of the storm. This time though her famous confidence was no longer there. She was scared. She was open. She was raw.
I nodded my head yes. Thunder shook the ground impatiently as if to warn me. Slowly I slid my hands around her round face, pulling her closer to me.
"Yes," I said. Her lips began to quiver slightly.
"Then why fight it? Why fight me?" She was completely drenched now. She looked so beautiful and I didn't want to let her go. I stared for a long minute into her passionate face and then looked to the sky above. The raindrops peppered my face with the honest truth. A truth that was growing with a blinding strength everyday.
I loved Sam, but I still belonged to Asia. I didn’t know if it would ever be any other way. The falling drops blurred my vision and I wanted to scream with confusion, but before I could Sam quietly pulled my face back to hers, making me fold.
"Sam," I gasped and pushed myself into her, hard. Our lips locked together and I filled with unnatural heat. In the ice-cold storm we were a building fire. Steam billowed all around us in thick grey swirls. I was lost in the moment and I didn't want it to end.
Hours later, I found myself in her car again, waiting in front of my house. It had been such a long and confusing night. I was finding it torture to leave her side. The radio softly played in the background but I could barely hear it over the nervous pounding in my chest. She kissed me one last time.
"I’ll see you Friday morning," she whispered with her confidence completely back. I couldn't let her go. Not yet. I leaned in and kissed her again.
"Stay with me tonight," I offered.
"I can't.”
“Why?” I asked softly.
“Kai and I are celebrating the holiday with our parents first thing tomorrow," she said with little hesitation. It hurt my feelings. She shrunk a little when she saw the sadness hit me. I took a deep breath and gathered my strength.
"Stay," I repeated and ran my hand down the line of her neck. Her breath built up in her chest quickly. Her golden hair slipped down over her shoulders and neck. I wanted to reach out and touch her still damp hair.
"Not yet Max."
"Why not? I don't understand." The thunderstorm scolded us from above. It fell even harder and the winds began to rock the sides of her car now. She looked around at the surrounding unnatural torrents. Asia’s calling card was all we could see.
"Yes you do."
"Asia," I whispered, spoiling our moment. She looked away when I spoke her name.
"Max, I want you. But I want all of you." She shifted away from me in the drivers seat. It made me feel angry when she did.
"I know that's selfish but…"
"Okay. I get it." I hated it but I understood. It felt right to want to be with her but she was right. She always was. My fires started to disappear.
"Raincheck?" she joked, trying to soften the situation. My heart ached a little as it dawned on me that I was trapped again. Trapped between two amazing options. I was completely overwhelmed by the feeling and began to feel alone.
"I’ll see you Friday," I gave up. I quickly caught her eyes one last time. They were tired but still wanted me. I stepped from her car and slowly walked inside my house. She waited in my driveway for a few minutes and I thought she might have changed her mind. I watched her NOT drive away from the front window. I became foolishly excited. Maybe she had changed her mind?
BEEP. BEEP. Her car horn taunted as she slowly pulled away down the road. As I watched her taillights disappear in the darkness of the stormy night I felt the weight of the world climb back on my shoulders. Frank coughed from his room and it sounded worse. It scared me a little that it wasn't going away but I couldn't think about that now.
Not tonight. I needed my bed. I needed sleep. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving, one of my least favorite holidays. I would try and make the best of it. Even though I would probably be much too worried about the following days events. The four of us together. Trying to make sense of the drama I had caused everyone with my past decisions. That day would be one of the hardest days of my young life.
The thunder against my window serenaded me throughout my restless night.
"I give up," I whispered to the sandman.
Phantoms - 22
~Under Pressure: Queen & David Bowie~
Thursday morning - 7:00 a.m. - November 23rd.
Thanksgiving. One of the most beloved holidays, but not for me. Next to Christmas, this day was the biggest reminder of just how little family I had. Back when my dad was still alive he tried his best to make this day special. He never succeeded though. I never helped the situation much either. Me and my inferno of a temper. My mom was long gone and I was still mourning my little sister’s death. Most people spent this day eating great food and laughing with the ones they loved the most. I spent it drowning in the memory of my sister falling from my burning hands to her death over the side of that damn mountain road.
“I got a surprise for you today!” Frank announced from above me. I stared up at him, letting my morning eyes focus on his tired face. It was covered in a wide smile. Usually I spent the first hour of the mornings wrapped in a mood you could call sour, but today I pushed past it for my uncle’s sake. He hadn’t had much in the way of family either all these years. Now, he was going to make up for lost time.
“Aloha,” I mumbled. He slapped me on the chest with a pop.
“Lets go! Busy day!” He clapped his hands together. I sat up rubbing my chest.
“No hitting!” I whined. He laughed and tugged at my arm.
“Come on! Lets go! We got a pig to eat!” He rubbed his tummy. I looked at him, speechless.
“Trust me,” he winked. His smile vanished through my bedroom door as he ran for the kitchen.
“Ok. Gimme five minutes,” I tried to call to him but he had already cranked the radio on loud enough to fill the whole house with his old tunes. I rustled my messy hair and then slowly began to get dressed. As I slid a comfortable concert tee shirt over my head, it dawned on me that the rain had stopped. Finally.
“Woof!” Oz barked from below me. His little tail wagged back and forth. He found the break in Asia’s tantrum a welcome relief also. I tickled his head just before opening my bedroom window. The morning air streamed inside and filled my lungs with the smell of the tropical environment, still very wet from the past storm. It smelled w
onderful and made me miss Asia.
“I know big guy. It’s almost like she’s haunting me,” I said to Oz, who was now sniffing the familiar rainy scent. He shook his head and pranced toward the kitchen. I followed with a long yawn.
9:01 a.m.
My uncle’s truck bounced along the road with its windows down. I leaned my head and arm out the passenger side with Oz standing on my lap. His front paws up against the door handle and his furry face directly in the rushing breeze. His red hair absorbed the sun’s new rays. I scratched the fur at the back of his neck and his long tongue fell from the side of his smiling jaws accordingly.
“I can taste that pig already!” Frank said desperately. I looked at him curiously and smiled.
“So, they really cook the pig under ground?” I asked. He laughed out loud.
“You bet! The guys from my old work buried it yesterday. They do it every year. It’s tradition.” He turned the truck off the main road and onto a pathway toward our destination.
“They spend Thanksgiving on a remote beach, eating pork they cooked in the dirt for two days with their families? Every year?” I asked blankly.
“Sounds fantastic doesn’t it?” he said like a man possessed. I laughed out loud at him and he quickly joined me. Maybe this would be the first time I actually enjoyed this cursed holiday.
“Sure does Uncle,” I smiled at him. I hadn’t felt this comfortable since I had been back on the island. It felt like a family again.
“Family,” I whispered only loud enough for Oz and I to hear. At that moment I saw a picture in my mind of my mother. Her long brown hair and loving smile. I reached into my shorts pocket and pulled out the piece of paper with Sam’s handwriting. The same piece that had my mothers name and whereabouts scribbled across it. My fires rose up into my lungs at the thought of seeing her again.
Frank brought the truck to a quick stop and turned the engine off. I slid the paper back in my pocket quickly. Oz licked my face and it woke me from my daydream.